AN EVENING WITH GARRY CHALK
GARRY CHALK
REAL NAME: Garry Chalk
OCCUPATION: Trukk AND Munky
CONTACT: N/A
DOSSIER: http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Garry_Chalk
PERCURSOR: This discussion with Garry was more like a conversation than a direct Q&A interview, so efforts have been made to present it as such. You may get annoyed by the (laughter) tags we've placed, but this is really because we were all laughing along with Garry throughout the whole thing. We decided not to post the audio due to the length and the task of editing, but the transcription is as close as possible to the actual conversation, so there is some run-on sentences and such, but I wanted to capture the feel of the verbal exchange, so there you have it. Garry is absolutely AWESOME and was very cool about some of his candid observations. I hope everyone in the fandumb gets a chance to rub shoulders with this guy at some point. Also, thanks to OOP (Candice) for setting this up with us and thanks to Cheetara for contributing hot face and questions. Everlasting thanks to Nightshadow, as always, for keeping us in check on the tech end. And lastly, thanks to Garry and his wife for just being hilarious and completely kick ass. It really was like just having a sit-down conversation over a brewski.
::initiating interview::
CARCASS: Hello, everyone! Our guest today is someone known for his voice portrayals of Optimus Prime and Optimus Primal in various depictions of the Transformers media. You’ve also heard his talents in fan favourite shows such as Reboot and Masters of the Universe. You’ve seen him in Stargate: SG1, The Fly II and Watchmen most recently. Let’s give a round of applause for Garry Chalk, everybody!
EVERYONE: (applause)
GARRY: Yay! Wooo!
CARCASS: Would you care to say hello to your fans, Garry?
GARRY: Hi everybody, nice to be here! I’m a little bit late, I’m sorry, but I got stuck in traffic. But now I’m here and I’d like to say, ‘Welcome, welcome!’ and I hope we have a good chat!
CARCASS: I’m sure it’ll be great! Also with us, helping us out with the interview today, we have Cheetara and Candi. Say hello!
CHEETARA: Hello!
CANDICE: What up?
CARCASS: And we have Nightshadow, who’s helming the technical side of things today. Would you like to say hello to your fans, Nightshadow?
NIGHTSHADOW: Uhhh… hi, guys?
GARRY: Yaaaay!
CARCASS: Looks like you actually have a fan, Nightshadow! Garry’s your fan!
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: (laughing) I am a big fan, Nightshadow, just so as you know. I’m a huge fan. Anybody who could put this thing together has got to be a genius.
CARCASS: He’s familiar with your body of work.
GARRY: Oh, yes. It’s quite phenomenal.
CARCASS: All right, Garry! I think it’s safe to say that everyone here knows who you are, but for everyone else out there, maybe you could give us a quick background about how you got into the business.
GARRY: Ok, sure! When I was very young (chuckles); when I was born…
CARCASS: I said a quick background…
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: OK, here we go. I did my first cartoon in 1981 or ’82 and it was for Kenner Classics, it was called ‘Hiawatha’ and it was for Nickelodeon network and I had never tried out for a cartoon before; went in and ended up getting several roles on it, so I thought ‘wow, this is probably something I should pursue’ and I always got a kick out of mimicking voices and accents and so on, so I tried that and went off to do Alien Starlost and uh… excuse me, I’m trying to talk, but my wife keeps telling me to shut up.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: So, I don’t know what’s going on, I’m trying to talk, but she keeps going, “Stop it! Be quiet! Don’t yell! Talk quietly!” I’m interrupting her radio program, so there you go. (laughs) Anyway, so, I did Alien Starlost and a couple other of things here, and Tech Force and Barbie and the Rockers, those were some of my first cartoons. My first series, actual series, was a cartoon called… G.I. Joe! No, was it G.I. Joe? I can’t remember. No, I think it… yes, it was. It was G.I. Joe. And I just kept going, one after the other one after the other one, to Kissyfur and Captain Nintendo the Gamemaster and He-Man and Lulu’s Pet Shop, and King Arthur and the Knights of Justice and Beanie and Cecil… I’ll just go on ad infinitum, but at any rate, how I got into that was… what I’d get kicked out of school for, I mean, it was just, you know, making fun of people and making up funny voices and imitating the principal on the tannoy in school which was quite fun…
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: And so, I guess I’ve done about 1500 or so cartoons so far as well as, you know, a lot of movies and TV shows, so… and countless commercials! If you’re out there on the east coast in the Tri-State, I think it’s Maryland, Jersey and New York State, you can hear me doing all the commercials for (changes voice) “M and T Bank!” and “The Baltimore Ravens and the Buffalo Bills…”
CARCASS: Is this a plug?
GARRY: No. (laughs) But if you happen to be listening in that area, I do all those commercials for those guys. So there you go. And that’s about it!
CARCASS: OK, well…
GARRY: Well, anyways, see ya! (laughs)
EVERYONE: (laughter)
CARCASS: Given that this interview will appear on a relatively Transformers-related site…
GARRY: Yes?
CARCASS: … with what’s more or less considered a ‘children’s’ franchise, a lot of the creators and contributors to the various media tend to consider the work involved more of ‘a job’ if not much else. Do you ever take a personal stake in the roles of the characters you portray, or is it ‘just a job’ to you?
GARRY: To me, I always try to live up to the ideals that my character (in particular, Optimus) was all about and all the things like honesty and loyalty and… semi-smart and… doing all the things that he did, that’s what I like to do… try and live as best as I can. Doesn’t seem to work out sometimes, but… I think that you have a responsibility. And these days what I see is a lot of our idols are kind of fallen idols. I was just thinking about Tiger Woods the other day, fallen by the wayside… and different people that we look up to who let us down, and one thing I would never want to do is let my fans down.
CARCASS: With Beast Wars and Beast Machines (this is actually something that people talk about a lot and you’ve probably been asked this question before especially at conventions and whatnot), those series have long been revered for their dialogue and character interaction. With those particular series, given the technology of the show you were working with at the time, was there a level of improvisation with the other voice actors that lent itself to the final take or was it more a case of following what was in the script?
GARRY: Well, with Beast Wars and Beast Machines, we followed the script pretty well ‘bang-on.’ The only time that we’d ever alter the script was if it was a story point or if the grammar was awry and we’d change the sentences around to make them more effective or more punchy, but as far as improvising the script? No, we would never do that. However, on another show (an iconic show I thought for being the first CGI series: ‘Reboot’), Scott McNeil and I, who played Hack and Slash, improvised everything! (laughs) They cut the best bits and put it together on the script in the show.
CARCASS: That actually brings up something I want to talk to you about later (the ‘Reboot’ thing), but as far as working on a CGI series, such as it was back then, how does that differ from working on an animated series such as, say… like Armada?
GARRY: Well, I guess the fundamental difference is that Armada was ADR, so it’s already been recorded in Japanese.
CARCASS: Right.
GARRY: And we would dub it over into English. With Transformers: Beast Machines and Beast Wars, we did the voice before the animation was done. And so the difference fundamentally is that in Beast Wars and Beast Machines we had way more input and way more at stake emotionally and intellectually with the characters than we did in the prelay simply because we had such narrow parameters to work with in the ADR. Like with Armada, we had to fit our dialogue and imbue that dialogue with certain emotion that in a lot of cases we didn’t create, we just had to mimic it in English and follow the same phonetic tempo and so on that the Japanese had, which is quite different from English, so sometimes it would sound a little weird.
CARCASS: I think that comes out in the nature of those shows (Beast Wars and Beast Machines) when you hear the dialogue and given the fact that the animation came after the dialogue was recorded, it definitely comes off as a bit more believable and lifelike and I think a lot of people always picked up on that and that’s why those series are considered more popular and more beloved because of that.
GARRY: Well, I would say so, I mean, in every show that I’ve done that’s been prelay, and that’s probably about 40 series I would say, we always invest a large part of ourselves, (as characters, not as just like the royal lead, but cartoon actors in general) we invest a lot of our own personalities and selves into those characters and bring them to life because what we want more than anything is to tell a story and tell it well and hopefully the audience will care about us whether we’re bad guys or good guys. That’s what the most important thing is, that people care about what you do or don’t do. The worst thing is to have someone going, “yeah, so what?”
CARCASS: Given that you take a personal stake in the character, like you brought up, how did you feel about the progression of the characters from Beast Wars to Beast Machines, specifically the change in the disposition for Optimus Primal between those two series?
GARRY: I guess you’re talking about Season 3. In Season 3, I was a bit let down by Season 3 in that because we had become like an old marriage. You know, the characters were sniping at each other and they were always miserable and always arguing and Optimus became less of a leader and more of a naval-gazing mystic and I just went, “Wait a minute, I think we’re losing sight of what we’re doing here! (chuckles) We’re entertaining people and it’s just getting a little bit too philosophical for my tastes and I’m becoming kind of a non-entity.” You know, on one level, he’s sort of become very introspective, but on another level we have to think about our audience as well. And so I had many arguments and fights with producers and writers on that show and they started to bring it around towards the end of the season, I think.
CARCASS: The character development on those two series were phenomenal, by the way. Who were your favourite characters from Beast Wars or Beast Machines and why?
GARRY: My favourite characters were… well, I loved Rattrap because he was the eternal optimist. (Rattrap impersonation) “We’re all gonna die!”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: He was always looking at the brighter side of life. (Rattrap impersonation) “We can’t do this, we’re all gonna die! They’re gonna kill us!”
EVERYONE: (more laughter)
GARRY: And I loved Megatron because he was (Kaye-esque impersonation) “Sooo eeevil…”
EVERYONE: (laugh, laugh)
GARRY: For different reasons, I loved Cheetor… Cheetor was a great character. Blackarachnia made me laugh. And… what was that other one, Alec Willows’ character with his (Tarantulas impersonation), “heehee hee heh”
EVERYONE: (raucous laughter)
CARCASS: Tarantulas? (laughing)
GARRY: Tarantulas! Ah! You know, every one of them had great qualities. Richard Newman as Rhinox, absolutely terrific. And (chuckling) Jimmy Burns… (Inferno impersonation) “Yes, my queen!”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: I mean, how can you back away from that? And Scotty’s… the… the ‘hawk,’ character. Uh, I wish I had my references here, but it’s been a while so I can’t remember. But he played that upstanding heroic character, Silverbolt!
CARCASS: Correct, right!
GARRY: That’s the one! I knew it would come into my head.
CARCASS: Did they let Alec Willows smoke in the sound booth?
GARRY: No.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: Way back when, you know, I’ll tell you a funny story… way back when, we were allowed to smoke in the booth because… Cam Lane, who is a notorious chain smoker who did He-Man, he used to (laughing) go between the isolation doors and have a cigarette between takes and it was terrible! He was just awful about that. It used to just stink up the studio. But now, you’re not even allowed to smoke 18 feet from the door going into the studio, into the building. They have strict laws here now.
CARCASS: When you’re voicing a character like Optimus Prime… a lot of people (I think typically younger kids maybe) associate your voice with the Optimus Prime character. To my generation, you’ve always been Optimus Primal.
GARRY: Yes!
CARCASS: How do you feel when being compared to somebody like Peter Cullen who did the original Optimus Prime?
GARRY: Well, to me, Peter Cullen is a brilliant voice guy. And he’s a tremendous singer, by the way. He’s a very good singer. And…
CARCASS: As good as you?
GARRY: Ehhh… we’re about the same, I think.
CARCASS: Cuz I’ve heard a little bit about your singing!
GARRY: Yeah, I do OK, you know. (laughs) But, Peter, I’ve always admired him. But, I always found the original Transformers voice to be bit stiff and pedantic. He got a little better with the movies. I mean, the movies, he was was a lot better than the original generation to my mind. I thought he was just a bit too machine like, but hey! He was playing a truck! So, what can I say?
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: But I always admired Peter for all of the other things that he’s done and all the other work that he’s done because he’s an old pro and my characterization was, to my mind, my characterization. It was a different thing altogether. When they asked me to do Armada and Cybertron, they asked me to do it like Peter Cullen from the first generation, and I sort of but really didn’t want to because hell, that’s not my version. If they want me to sound like him, why don’t the just get him, you know? I mean, it makes sense. But, they asked me to toughen it up and then make it, you know, more tougher and I tried to imbue a little bit of warmth and humanity in the character, but it didn’t seem to work out too well because of the parameters of ADR. But, I mean, people liked it I guess, but I think people will always like Primal a lot better than Optimus in those other shows. Mind you, that’s the thing limited by ADR. If I could put my own stamper on it, I don’t know how it would have turned out but I think it would have turned out better than what it did.
CARCASS: What are some differences you consider about how to approach portraying a character as a voice actor as opposed to depicting one in live action?
GARRY: Well, I think the basics are pretty well the same. You’re always looking for a back story, you’re looking for, you know, what their likes and dislikes are, you’re always trying to build a character profile. The thing with cartoons is, you can play many different characters and a lot of times you don’t look even a little bit like the character you’re playing. So it’s up to you to come up with a voice that absolutely fits that and the way you do that is to… with a character on film, you’re basically being yourself in a given situation, so you try and build as much character and back story and portray it on screen. With cartoons, you have to not only look at the back story, but you have to look at the physicality of the character. You have to look at, you know, are they, you know, 20 feet tall or 2 feet tall, do they have big jaws, small jaws, tall, skinny, wide, fat… you play who you are on film. You can play anything on cartoons. So, what I would do right off, and that was something I got from Sue Blu way back when was, figure out how the character laughs and you’ll figure out the character. And look at the physicality of the character and you’ll find aspects of the voice. And then the rest is your acting ability.
CARCASS: Excellent! If I could switch gears for a moment, away from the Transformers thing a little bit, I—
GARRY: Wait! Hang on! (horrendous puking noise)
EVERYONE: (laughing)
GARRY: I’m like an ill-tuned engine here! (laughing)
CARCASS: You OK over there?
GARRY: Oh yeah, I’m fine. I just had a sip of tea.
CARCASS: Tea does that to you?
GARRY: Yes, occasionally if it goes down the wrong way. (laughs) All of you guys in here are so cool…
CARCASS: A lot of people are huge fans of the Reboot show…
GARRY: Mmhm?
CARCASS: With Rainmaker, which used to be Mainframe, I believe…
GARRY: Right?
CARCASS: With them announcing the continuation of the franchise this year, have you been approached at all about reprising any of your roles from Reboot?
GARRY: I would imagine that’s gonna happen because we’ve had discussions. I talked with Gavin about it and I’ve talked with Mike Donovan (who directed a lot of them) about that… Mike Donovan played Mike the TV.
CARCASS: Right!
GARRY: (Mike the TV impression) “Well, here we are, everybody!”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: We’ve been talking about it, and I’ll tell ya, there’ll be some holy hell raised if we don’t get approached for that because all of us absolutely love that show and loved doing it. It was just the most fun because there’s a lot of gags in it, that you know, are in-house gags that they put in the cartoon that only the guys who worked there would get.
CARCASS: I think a little bit of the problem with the current popularity with Reboot is that there’s no real availability of the media anymore. Has there ever been any talk, I mean, not that you would know this, just curious, has there ever been any talk about Mainframe ever getting around to releasing those shows on DVD or anything? At least any more than they have already?
GARRY: Well, I think there’s every bit of a possibility that will happen. I mean, I don’t think they’re gonna cut their nose off to spite their face and just hold everything locked in because they don’t want the public to see it or that they don’t want to get it out there. I think that it will be remarketed and I know that there are a few movies in the works right at the moment and as far as launching it as a series again, I think it would be great if they did because it was very popular all over the world.
CARCASS: Speaking of that, is there anything you could tell us about the direction of the new Reboot material at this time?
GARRY: I have no idea. I’m as much in the dark as you. I mean, I talk to Gavin every once in a while, who created it. I saw him at the anime convention last August in Vancouver and we talked about that, what’s gonna happen and nothing’s been formatted yet, so there you go. Sorry, I wish I could give you some news, but I just can’t.
CARCASS: Being one of my personal favorite voiceover actors in general, could you give us a little insight about what it was like for you working with the late, great Tony Jay on that series?
GARRY: Tony Jay was a wonderful English actor. You might have heard him in Tailspin and some of the Disney shows and in Reboot. I think he was tremendous. It was a great loss to all of us to have him go. But here’s the funny thing, I have never actually seen him! (chuckles) I’ve only actually heard him.
CARCASS: Well, there’s pictures of him online!
GARRY: Is there?
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: Cuz I’d like to see him. (Megabyte impression) “I want to see who this wonderful voice was. My, what a clever little sales sprite you are.” Oh, I just loved it.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
CARCASS: That’s pretty damn good!
GARRY: Yeah? Well, you know it was very close between him and I for Megabyte, for the character. And what’s really odd is when I was reading for the character, I came out with that kind of a voice. (impression) “My…” you know, that thing… and then when I heard Tony’s I went, “holy slag, he did the..” ooops, sorry!
EVERYONE: (laughter)
CARCASS: (laughing) You really don’t have to worry about that here.
GARRY: “Holy moly, he did the same voice!” But his was the older, warmer, more resilent than mine. But now I’m his age at that time, so I’m ready to do Megabyte.
CARCASS: Do you think that’s a possibility, that they approach you for that role?
GARRY: (Megabyte impression) “It may be, because I’m older now.”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
CARCASS: That would be great
GARRY: It could happen, it would be fun.
CARCASS: Actually, talking about that, being approached for roles, were you ever approached for any roles or anything that had to do with the Michael Bay movies at all?
GARRY: No. And I’ll tell you something, I was talking to, I don’t know if you know Benson Yee…
CARCASS: Yes.
GARRY: He’s a Transformers writer, not a show writer but a fan writer, magazine writer out of New York. And I was talking to him about it and he said, “you should talk to Don Murphy about it and see if you can get a set up with Michael Bay.” So I sent off an email to Don Murphy and he didn’t reply to me, he put it out on his blog… and I went, “You bum…”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: “That letter was privileged information between you and me, not between you and me and the world.” You know, I was approaching him to read for the part of Optimus Prime. And he writes in his blog, “Is this guy for real?” And I wrote back, “yes I’m for real, you dip! Of course I’m real, what the hell’s the matter with you? It’s me writing you asking for a job.” You think I’d ask him for a job if I wasn’t real? And so he did like a survey and some people wanted me, but they liked me as Primal rather than Prime and some people liked Peter Cullen and it was more in favor of Peter Cullen because he was the original voice and he’s got a great voice, but there was one person on there who just ripped into me, just tore me apart and told me what an bum I was and what a terrible voice I had. He said he could act better with his balls than I could and I’m going, “Oh, it’s that guy who did Robots in Disguise.”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: I thought that might have been him because apparently, you know, he didn’t really like what I did and so…
CARCASS: Wait, you thought it was that guy (Neil Kaplan) from the Robots in Disguise cartoon that hated you?
GARRY: Yeah, so apologies to you whoever you are because I don’t know who you are, but somebody just… ugh… man, they were so vitriolic and I went, ‘hey, take it easy, I was just asking. (laughs) It’s not like I’m killing your sister or something.’ But oh, he was very angry and it had to be a ‘he’ because girls don’t use language like that.
CARCASS: Uhhh… I dunno, you should meet my girlfriend.
GARRY: (laughs) So I sent a letter off to him and he published it and then I sent him a letter and I said, ‘hey, you like me or you don’t, I don’t give a damn, you know, if you wanna hire me for this movie, by all means. If not, I mean, it would be kind of funny to have us in there as cameos like Scotty and Dave Kaye and myself’ and we never ever heard back from them, so we don’t count.
CARCASS: Well, I think you count!
GARRY: (laughs)
CARCASS: I actually try to avoid those boards because for the appreciation of a franchise such as Transformers, the Don Murphy boards are just so hateful and evil. Everybody there is just so mean to each other, just spiteful, hateful people. I can’t even imagine… I didn’t even know that had happened at the time, but I could imagine the kind of response you got from the kind of people who go to places like that.
GARRY: Well, all I can say to them, all those out there and I’ll say it to all of you who listen and go to that blog site or whatever it is, just remember: It’s only a cartoon.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
CARCASS: Isn’t it all about a bunch of kids’ toys?
GARRY: That’s right, it’s about toys and cartoons. Let’s upset all the children by giving them all kinds of swear words and disgusting things to say about each other so that they can learn how to be disgusting and swear. Thank you. You have really contributed a lot to society. Well done, Don Murphy, we love you man!
EVERYONE: (laughter)
CARCASS: You’re gonna let me post this, right?
GARRY: (laughing) I can hear the letters now. Don, if you don’t get that one collectible that you just can’t find, too goddamned bad!
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: I have it! And I’m never giving it to you!
CARCASS: I think we need to lay off the tea, Garry.
GARRY: Let’s just edit that portion, shall we?
CARCASS: I dunno, it’s pretty good stuff.
GARRY: It’s good stuff. Well, edit out the “I have the part and I’ll never give it to you” part because he might offer a lot of money for it.
CARCASS: Has anyone approached you about the possibility of a new Transformers series coming out that they’re working on?
GARRY: I thought they already worked on the new Transformers series, what happened to that one?
CARCASS: The Animated one?
GARRY: Yeah, David Kaye was playing Optimus.
CARCASS: Yes, actually since you bring it up, how did you feel about that?
GARRY: Well, you know, I said to Dave, as I said to him because you know, we’ve traveled together a few times, “Dave, you got the part of Optimus?” And he goes, “I know. I was playing Megatron, but they gave me Optimus.” And I said, “Well that’s good! Because you get all the straight lines.” I wished him all the best in the world because I have quite honestly moved on to other things and done other things and I can’t burden myself with that kind of misery because it’s in America. He lives in America and it’s a prelay and came off hot on the heels of the movie and I can’t work in America. So, I guess I’m sort of stuck there and he got the part and he’s a tremendous actor, what can I say? He’s got a tremendous voice, he’s a great actor and a lot of fun. As soon as… I guess the last show I did, was it Energon for the Transformers series?
CARCAS: Uhhhh… Nightshadow?
NIGHTSHADOW: It was Cybertron.
GARRY: Cybertron was the last one. Yeah, and after that was done, I was done. Unless they come out with a new series, I’m kind of done with the series. If they bring it up here and they ask me to read for it, I’ll read for it. I’ll audition for it, I’ll put my two cents in. But, one thing that can really wreck you is if you get all bitter and bent out of shape and sort of hold on to these things and say like, you know, “I AM Scarlett O’Hara,” or “I AM…” well, I’m not Optimus, I’m a guy playing Optimus. And if they let me to continue to play Optimus, I’ll play it! If they don’t well, that’s OK too. I’m playing other characters now.
CARCASS: So, the reason you got the role of Optimus Primal is because it was close to home?
GARRY: (laughs) Exactly right! No, the reason I got Optimus Primal is because the other guy couldn’t make it! (laughs) No, the reason I got Optimus Primal is because I brought something to the character that they liked and I think that people responded to it in a positive way and so I continued to do it for a long, long time. I did it for, I guess it was over ten years.
CARCASS: I got a couple more things and then I’ll let the girls talk to you for a minute, which I’m sure you’ll enjoy.
GARRY: There are girls there?
CARCASS: Yeah, actual girls.
GARRY: Like real girls? Ooh yeah, I know those. They’re cool. We like girls.
CANDICE: Come on, Garry!
GARRY: Candice, we love you baby!
CARCASS: Garry, the times that I’ve met you, you’ve always been extremely cordial and interested in making times for your fans. Why so nice all the time?
GARRY: Why? I guess it’s because truly, I really enjoy what I do. And I really enjoy the people who make what I do happen. Without them, I have no job and without them there’s no real point to doing it. Why make a record if no one’s gonna buy it, you know? I just enjoy performing and I enjoy being with the fans and meeting fans and it costs nothing to be kind and it costs nothing to spend a few minutes to yak.
CARCASS: Is there any advice you might be able to impart to someone looking to get their foot in the door of the voice acting industry?
GARRY: Key is get acting lessons. (laughs) Go to acting school and learn the foundations of your craft. If you don’t learn the foundations it’s like building a house of cards. One little puff and you’re done. So, you know, everybody can do twenty voices, lots of people can do Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck and all that stuff. But can you do it in Shakespeare? Can you do it in Chekhov? It’s making the characters believable. Acting is 80% of your character, voice is 20%. Getting a job, well that’s a whole different skill set. You’ve gotta make yourself a demo reel and, I’ve talked about this a few times, but, you’ve gotta get yourself a demo reel and you’ve gotta get it out to the people that count, a reputable voice agent, a production house like, well, it’s hard to get your tapes out to places like Hasbro and Mattel and Disney and so on, and Pixar and all those, so you’ve got to find yourself a reputable agent. But most important of all, you have to get a really good demo tape and really, really get your acting chops down pat because without acting a voice doesn’t really mean crap.
CANDICE: Who is the wackiest character you have ever played.
GARRY: The wackiest character I’ve every played was Metalhead on G.I. Joe. Metalhead on G.I. Joe was probably the craziest character I’ve ever played. The other one I think is King Hippo on Captain N: The Gamemaster.
CARCASS: I haven’t seen it in years, but, I knew that was you on that cartoon!
GARRY: You knew that was me?
CARCASS: Yeah, it was almost a Whiplash kind of voice.
GARRY: Oh yeah. (impersonation) “Excuse yourself, ya pig! BLBLBLBLBL!”
CARCASS: Exactly!
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: So much fun! So much fun. And Metalhead even had his own heavy metal song that you can find on youtube or somewhere that goes, (singing) “Metalhead! Metalhead! He’s right out of control! Metalhead! Metalhead! (indecipherable) your soul! Bang!” (simulated guitar sounds)
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: It was like Eddie VanHalen kind of ripping metal song and it was quite fun. I was quite flattered.
CANDICE: What is the greatest role you would ever like to play?
GARRY: The greatest role that I would ever like to play? JESUS! No, let me see. It’s hard to say, there’s so many. If I had one and if it was ever remade, I would love to play the character of Quick Draw McGraw in cartoons. (Quick Draw impression) “Cuz I just loooooove that character, Ba-Ba Looey!”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: He was great! Dawes Butler was just my hero. I thought he was just a tremendous, tremendous cartoon character. He did so many great cartoons!
CARCASS: I’d like to hear your rendition of El-Kabong.
GARRY: “I am ELLLL-KABONG! Ooops. Sorry, Ba-Ba Looey!” I just loved that show.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
CANDICE: Are there any roles that you would absolutely refuse to play?
GARRY: Yes, I don’t play the part of gratuitously violent characters, child molesters… I am virulently against what I call ‘pain porn.’ For example, ‘The Hills Have Eyes,’ the ‘Saw’ franchise, the Jason franchise, any of the slasher, you know… ‘Four campers in the woods encounter a crazed killer.’ ‘Four campers on vacation from college in a mountain cabin encounter a crazed killer.’ ‘Four guys on a beach encounter a crazed killer.’ I just go, ‘shut up with the crazed killer!’ There’s a gazillion of these films out there and they’re just like pornography, they’re all the same plot and they all rely on… the more gory and the more suffering that the characters have the better people like it. To me, that’s ‘pain porn,’ pornography and I just don’t go for it. I wish it would just disappear from the planet. I have very strong opinions about this.
CANDICE: I remember that one, what was that show called..
GARRY: Freddy vs. Jason?
CANDICE: Not that… well yeah, of course, but you were still a good guy in that one, so…
GARRY: That was comedy.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
CARCASS: It was pretty funny actually…
GARRY: It was funny. (laughs)
CARCASS: I think the only reason I have that movie on DVD is just because you’re in it.
GARRY: Awww, so sweet, thanks.
CANDICE: So true, so true. But there was that show you did, ‘Haunted’ I think it was called. You were in the pilot episode.
GARRY: Oh, like a ghost cop?
CANDICE: Yes.
GARRY: Yeah, yeah! That was fun!
CANDICE: That was kind of creepy. You were kind of creepy in that.
GARRY: I was a creepy bad guy. I didn’t mind that character because he got killed in the end. No, he got the crap beat out of him. And you never actually saw him do anything, he was just this creepy guy and then you found out he was a creepy guy. But that was in ‘Haunted.’ I actually liked that. And besides, I got to work with Matthew Fox who just rocks in my world! Very nice guy. I really like him, he’s a nice fellow, you know the guy on ‘Lost?’ Isn’t he great? And I got to write all the commercials in that show. I think that’s the one, Haunted or Ghost Cop, one of the two. I wrote all those, “And here are my assistants, Faith, Hope and Charity. Need a hand?” and I take my hand off. “Let’s talk turkey! (gobble gobble noise)”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: It was a very bizarre TV show. It’s by the same guys who wrote… umm, what’s that sci-fi show on Sci-Fi called? About the town…
CANDICE: Oh, Eureka?
GARRY: Eureka! The same guys who wrote Eureka wrote this other show called Ghost Cop. It was very funny and very dark and I played a used car salesman and I got to write all my own commercials and it was very funny. NEXT!
CANDICE: This fan writes, I see Garry as being able to act in a wide range and I would love to see him be someone like the Marvel Kingpin of crime. Would he be interested in that sort of role? Why or why not?
GARRY: Yes, I would, because I’ve always wanted to play a Caesar character, like a Caesar, a leader. And I played one in a show called Viper. Remember that TV show called Viper?
CARCASS: I remember that show!
GARRY: I played in an episode as a crime kingpin. It was great, he gets his comeuppance at the end. Like remember John Colicos in the original Battlestar Galactica?
CARCASS: Yes. I’m probably the only one here who does.
GARRY: I’d love to play that character, John Colicos’ character. He was great. I don’t mind playing evil characters. I like playing bad guys. I don’t like things like, you know, hostile and those kinds of shows. Gross. But yes, I would! Give me that part!
CANDICE: If you could have a superpower, what would it be?
GARRY: You’re gonna laugh! You’re gonna laugh. I wish I could speak every single language living or dead.
CANDICE: That’s pretty cool! I like that.
CARCASS: Is that a superpower or does that just mean you’re really well-schooled?
GARRY: No, it would be a great superpower to be able to speak every single language living or dead or extraterrestrial, can you imagine? You could be the ultimate interpreter.
CARCASS: You’d be like C-3PO.
GARRY: Yeah! You could communicate with the universe. I mean, that would be so cool!
CANDICE: Does that include sign language?
GARRY: Sign language as well. And the famous drum language of Africa. The drum languages and the whistling language of the Pyrenees or the bird-song language of the Mayans, oh it would be very, very cool. Can you imagine? You’d be the ultimate communicator. You’d be a stand-up comic in every single language!
CARCASS: I work in customer service and I think I’m glad that I don’t speak every language sometimes.
GARRY: Why is that? (chuckles) “Oh sorry, no speakie English!”
CARCASS: There you go!
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: “I don’t speak Japanese. Sorry, I don’t speak German.” Yeah, so then you flob them off onto somebody else.
CARCASS: Absolutely.
GARRY: But can you imagine? You could go to the rain forest and do a stand-up show and everybody would understand you. You’d be out in New Guinea or somewhere like that and you could stand there and crack jokes about the enemy next door and they’d all know! I mean, it’d be great and you could find out so much stuff. That’s my ultimate superpower is to be able to speak every language. AND see through walls.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: No, I take that back! To speak every language and… remember that movie, ‘Jumper?’ I’d love to be able to teleport. That would be so cool because I really hate flying. Not because I’m afraid of flying, I love being in an airplane if it’s like, you know, for an hour. But when you’re on a plane, like I just flew back from London a day before yesterday and it was a nine hour flight, and I’ll tell ya… sitting in those little chairs, even the business class chairs are big, but they’re not that comfortable and sitting there for nine hours, eeeeehhh, I’ll wake up in the morning, my neck is cricked, my hip is cricked, I’m going, “God, people pay money to get tortured!” And the standing in line and having people go through all your stuff and look at everything, it’s just like, ugh! So you gotta sit there for three hours before you get on the airplane. I’d much rather take the train or transport. Because, you know it’s funny, coming back to that movie ‘Jumper,’ I recall (I don’t know if there’s any sci-fi buffs out there), but I recall reading a book, a sci-fi novel when I was a teenager, called ‘The Konvs.’ And these characters could teleport anywhere, anytime. They were always being chased, they were being pursued by another race who couldn’t teleport and they always thought that these guys were a threat to them because they could teleport anywhere in the universe. They were called Konvs. Now, this could be an interesting exercise because it was a novel or a short story I think, and I cannot remember who wrote it, but when I watched ‘Jumper’ I went, “oh, I read this back in the 60’s!” So there you go.
CANDICE: Wow! I got a Stargate question here…
GARRY: OK?
CANDICE: I think most of us here know you were Colonel Chekov, which is awesome because I loved your Russian accent…
GARRY: Mhmm?
CANDICE: If you were to play a Goa’uld, what would your personality or traits or backstory be like? What would your bad guy influence be if you were a Goa’uld?
GARRY: My bad guy influence if I was a Goa’uld would be… hmmm… mmmm… hmmmm….
CANDICE: You’d probably have your own Stargate, your own ship…
GARRY: I would think… I would love to be the character of Captain Bligh on Mutiny on the Bounty, remember that?
CANDICE: I have not seen that.
GARRY: Well, Captain Bligh would be my villain. He wasn’t actually a villain, but he was a very cruel, harsh taskmaster to his crew. He was played by Charles Laughton, you know, (Charles Laughton impression) “Mr. Christian! He had that kind of a voice! Charles Laughton! Mr. Christian, you will take that man for punishment now!” And I thought, oh my god! I love that character and that’s who I would have for my Goa’uld.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: Or uhhh… hmmm… Candice *insert last name*.
CANDICE: Oh ho!
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: She’s quite the character, I mean, I gotta tell ya, I mean some of the things she comes up with. And then she goes, “Oh, just kidding!”
CANDICE: Do you know where I get that sense of humor from?
GARRY: No…
CANDICE: I get that because I work with three guys all day at work and that’s all they do.
GARRY: And they torture you like that?
CANDICE: And it has grown on me.
GARRY: What a horrible bunch.
CARCASS: Yeah, play them that, Garry saying ‘what a horrible bunch.”
GARRY: What a horrible bunch! Leave my Candice alone! She’s the only girl and she’s your BOSS.
CANDICE: Well, sometimes.
GARRY: You know what? I was just looking at wikipedia? I was going through wikipedia and they finally got my birthday correct!
CARCASS: You can edit that yourself, you know.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: Really? I didn’t know that! They had me as the 14th of November, 1951 and I’m going, ‘Wait a minute, I’m not that old!.’
CARCASS: I can’t find ‘Konvs’ anywhere.
GARRY: K-O-N-V-S. Konvs. No?
CARCASS: I’m gonna find it!
GARRY: Cuz, I am telling you, if you find the story, I cannot remember the story but as soon as I saw the movie ‘Jumper’ I went, “holy moly, that’s that short story!” It’s just like when I watched Blade Runner, you know… ‘Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep’…
CARCASS: Right!
GARRY: and the other one was the one that uhh… oh god, my mind is such a sieve. About the time cops that go back in time and prevent…
CARCASS: Time Cop?
GARRY: Nope, not Time Cop, it was the one with…
CANDICE: Sliders?
GARRY: No, not Sliders. You know, the one with Tom Cruise. It was a science fiction movie where they would go back in time and prevent a crime before it happened, temporal police…
NIGHTSHADOW: Minority Report?
GARRY: That one. That was based on another Philip K. Dick short story from the 60’s, and I went, ‘huh! I read that.’ There’s a lot of sci-fi movies that are based on really old pulp, that are very, very cool. There’s some great stories out there. I mean, we’re living in a science fiction story right now even as we speak. Have you ever read the book, ‘The Feeling of Power,’ an Isaac Asimov short stoy?
CARCASS: Yes!
GARRY: Where people never left their homes, they lived on the internet and they ordered everything in on computers…
CANDICE: (mumbles) Nightshadow…
GARRY: … they never saw people face to face and they couldn’t do anything like math or physics cuz they all did it on calculators. They couldn’t add and subtract in their head and this guy was arrested because he was the only one who could calculate sums without using a calculator. It’s a great story, but look at how much of a parallel there is when that story was written in the early 60’s to now. It’s quite incredible.
CARCASS: I’m still waiting for those moving sidewalks from ‘Caves of Steel.’
GARRY: The moving sidewalks are out there, but they’re only at the airport.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: Well, I’ve just read the latest sci-fi novel that I’m absolutely mad for that I think is just the best science fiction story that I’ve read so far. It’s called ‘Altered Carbon.’
CARCASS: Here I go looking it up.
GARRY: ‘Altered Carbon,’ if you get a chance to read it, is absolutely great. It’s almost like ‘Avatar.’
CARCASS: Richard Morgan.
GARRY: Yeah! It’s super! It’s SOOOPA!
CARCASS: OK, let’s move on a little bit, Candi. We don’t want to waste all of Garry’s time, just a little bit of it.
CANDICE: Yes, we do.
GARRY: You’re not wasting my time! (laughs) Next question, please!
CANDICE: I’m getting there! You keep talking and I don’t know what you’re saying!
GARRY: I’m just saying, ‘next question, please,’ darling’!
CANDICE: If Beast Wars ever had a reboot or live action adaptation, would you return to the role of Optimus Primal.
GARRY: YES.
CANDICE: Of course you would. Because we love you!
GARRY: See, that’s a quick question. It’s a prompt question that I can only answer yes or no to.
CANDICE: Some of Optimus Primal’s character bios describe him as a veteran of the last Great War. In season 1 of the series, he seemed to be portrayed as a ‘n00b’ in command for the first time, particularly in how some of the crew treated him. Which way did you see Optimus when you first started playing him?
GARRY: Wow, that’s a very clever question! I really like that question! But my approach to the character, was I saw myself as an old veteran, I’d been around the block. I tolerated this new crew that I have who weren’t all that new, but they were quite young, so I tolerated them because they were young and full of get-up-and-go. So, I always saw myself as a veteran. I never saw myself as a ‘n00b.’
CANDICE: What was your overall opinion of Optimus Primal?
GARRY: My overall opinion of Primal? What an idiot!
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: God, he was such… I mean, the guy was such a wuss! Sat around in his chair, telling everybody else what to do… him and Rhinox would sit and get drunk and he’d come home in the morning, see Cheetor and Rattrap screwing around the ship… “Get your hands off the controls, go out and play on the planet! Get out of my hair, you guys are just driving me nuts, I can’t stand it, my head is pounding…”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: Of course I loved that character. I always saw him as a warm, tough but fair father figure character. And I quite liked him. There’s not much about him I didn’t like. Except for the fact that he drank to excess. (laughs)
CARCASS: Well, that could be like a father figure for some people.
GARRY: Yes, oh yes… but that’s a whole other show. (laughs)
CANDICE: How much input did you get to give in developing your character of Optimus Primal? If you could change anything about Optimus, what would it be?
GARRY: All the input into developing the character of Optimus Primal, aside from basic bio information that was given to me, was supplied by me. What changes I would make? I wouldn’t make any. I was very, very happy with the character that I created. The only time that I was unhappy was the way the scripts were going in season 3. That’s the only thing that sort of took away from it, but for everything else, that’s my input. My baby.
CANDICE: I heard once that you get cast as a cop and leader a lot, but what kind of roles do you actually prefer to play?
GARRY: Well, I like to play cops and police captains, they’re great fun and I play a lot of them. But I like playing grandpas and I like… I like playing characters that have a lot of emotional depth that have something going on and something to say. I hate being moveable scenery. I hate cliché characters, I try not to make them cliché. I’m just sort of going through my imdb and I’m still scrolling through it as I’m talking to you, I have some pretty cool characters. I quite liked my character in ‘Outer Limits’ where I was taken over by the alien, that was really fun. I really, really enjoyed Chekhov in ‘Stargate’ because he was sort of an antagonist to Richard Dean Anderson, but he was funny, he had a sense of humor and he was great. I liked that.
CANDICE: I agree. I also liked your characters like Slash on ‘Reboot’…
GARRY: Loved him.
CANDICE: … and Grounder on ‘Sonic’
GARRY: (Grounder impression) “Heeey… I just lost my head for a moment! Scratch, Dr. Robotnik is gonna kill us if he finds out.” (Dr. Robotnik impression) “I hate that hedgehog!”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: It was wild because in the first go around of that show I played Grounder, and in the second go around I played Dr. Robotnik! Which was a bit odd. But I so admired Long John Baldry who played the character of Dr. Robotnik, he passed away several years ago. So they asked me to play the part and I thought, ‘Yes, I could do that,’ because I used to mock him good-naturedly all the time because I loved the way he talked. (Dr. Robotnik impression) “Only the finest lubricants!” He used to make me laugh. Yeah, so I loved those.
CANDICE: This question kind of goes back to Carcass’ question about who your favorite characters were in Beast Wars. If you could choose a character from Beast Wars to have played other than Primal, who would you have wanted to be?
GARRY: Silverbolt! I loved Silverbolt. And I loved… if I could play it I would love Megatron. (Megatron impression) “Yessss. Auto-sideguns!” I loved that character, he was great. That was his key phrase, you know. When he wanted to get into character, Dave Kaye? “Sideguns!” I loved that. I could do that. “Sideguns!” Yeah, no problem! I’ll do that no worries!
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: Yes, I’d love to play Megatron. I’ve love to… “Yessss.”
CANDICE: What inspired you to become an actor, voice and live?
GARRY: I’ve always liked to perform, I’ve loved to sing, but I was very shy in school when I was younger. Even though I did plays, I wasn’t much of a ‘mixer.’ And there was a fellow when I was in grade 11 I think in high school… there was a fellow named Keith Tavernor who was an actor-type of guy. I was a football, rugby player. And he says, “you know, Chalk, you can sing. I know you can sing, you should come and be part of our play!” And I said, “What play?” They were doing the show that was called, ‘The Boyfriend’ and it was a musical. And I said, “I’m not doing a musical, man, that’s kind of gay!”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: “My buddies will kill me!” And he said, “No, it’s a lot of fun and you’ll get the chicks!” And I said, “OK, I’m in!” So he convinced me that if I went in and became a part of this musical then I would get the chicks. I didn’t realize that he was gay at the time and he was sort of, you know, ‘hey, I kinda like ya!’ And I’m going, ‘I had no idea if I’m gay.’ But I did meet some very nice girls in the theater, so I stayed in it. I can still… (laughs) I remember my signature song in ‘The Boyfriend’ was,
(singing)
It’s never too late to have a fling
For autumn is just as nice as spring
And it’s never too late to fall… in… love
wackadoo, wackadoo, wackadoo
EVERYONE: (raucous laughter)
GARRY: I’m gonna tell ya, that was 40 years ago. I never forgot the show and I never forgot the song and that’s what actually launched my career. So Keith, if you’re out there, thank you man!
CARCASS: He came out already, right?
GARRY: Oh yeah, way, way, way…
CARCASS: Cuz you just kind of blew the lid off that if he didn’t.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: No, no, I thought he might be and it turns out that yes, it was quite conceivable that he was. And besides, I have not seen him in 40 years. And besides, I have no idea, I have not seen him in 40 years, so there you go.
CANDICE: If Optimus Primal had a pickup line, what would it be?
CARCASS: Maybe he would just sing that song that he just did?
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: (singing) “It’s never too late to have a fling…” Yeah! No, what would Optimus Primal’s pickup line be… (Optimus Primal impression) “Hey! Wanna hang around? Can I show you my banana?”
EVERYONE: (long fits of laughter)
GARRY: My god, I just disgusted myself. Sorry, it’s out! (laughs) Ewww!
CANDICE: Well, I still love ya.
GARRY: Oh, thank you. Candice, you are so sweet to me, thank you so much. You know that Candice is a very talented artist, huh?
CARCASS: Well, we’ve known Candi for years, haven’t we?
GARRY: Really?
NIGHTSHADOW: Yeah, about ten.
GARRY: Wow! So…
CANDICE: Yes, SO we shall move on. What iconic cartoon character have you always wanted to play if it was ever remade or revamped?
GARRY: Huckleberry Hound. I love Huckleberry Hound. And I also love Sylvester the Cat. (Sylvester impression) “Hey, son! I just love that character! That’s a big mouse!” I just love it!
CANDICE: Are there any roles you’ve done that you look back on and they make you cringe with regret for one reason or another?
GARRY: Umm, let me see, cringe with regret roles… Nope! I’m very happy with all of them. I’m telling ya, I think all of the characters that I did I really enjoyed doing them. If I had a character I’d love to do over again, I would love to have done Boyd Paul Downs on ‘Small Sacrifices,’ I would love to have done that character again cuz that was one I thought when I looked at it, I thought I could have done a lot more with that one. And the other one… nope, I think I’m very happy with all of them. Not that I’m Mr. Pleased-With-Myself, but I think if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well, it doesn’t matter what it… OH, I know! One show that I sort of had misgivings about was a movie called ‘Blonde and Blonder’ with Denise Richards and Pamela Anderson. I came out of it not too bad, but apparently people tell me it’s not a very good movie.
CARCASS: Well, I’m gonna see it now!
GARRY: Are ya? They’re quite fun, the two girls. Well, Pamela was fun. I never got to talk to Denise Richards very much, but… there you go…
EVERYONE: (laughs)
GARRY: I’m looking on my imdb, it just goes on and on and on. Good god. Some things I forgot. ‘Journey of Natty Gann,’ you know I still get residuals on that show and I did it in 1985? Oh yeah, here’s ‘The Legend of Hiawatha!’ 1983. My first cartoon and it actually is for sale somewhere. The director was Sebastian Grunstra. The author, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. The release date was 24th of November, 1983. So we recorded in 1982. And uh… there I am! Barry Blake, Tim Atkinson, Garry Chalk, Aline Van Dine, and Michael Voss. I can’t believe it, it’s actually there! It was filmed at Atkinson Filmworks! Fun trivia, the musical score was comprised entirely of stock cues from the network music library. In other words, they did it really, really cheap.
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: But the video cover looks… you can buy it on Amazon Books, my very first cartoon! Wow, I can’t believe it’s for sale, but there you go!
CANDICE: Here’s an interesting question from someone…
GARRY: Uh-oh…
CANDICE: If you had a choice between being killed by a decrepit grizzly bear or a dying shark, which would you choose?
EVERYONE: (long silence)
CARCASS: What kind of a question is that?
CANDICE: I dunno, I just… these are the fans.
GARRY: If I had a choice between a disgruntled grizzly bear or a shark, I think I’d go for the grizzly bear because grizzlies are really fast and they’d just knock your head clean off. When they got you, you’d be done. But sharks, that means you’d have to swim out of the ocean and then feel something creepy crawly rubbing against your leg before it struck. And the terror of that would drive me crazy… and being bit and spit out and left to die. You know, when you ask these questions… sometimes you just have to answer them. (laughs)
EVERYONE: (laughs)
CANDICE: Here’s one getting back to normal…
GARRY: Oh, good. We like normal.
CANDICE: What do you find to be more challenging, voice acting or acting in front of the camera?
GARRY: Acting in front of the camera is a bit challenging because you have to memorize all the lines and dress up and look the part, so you can’t hide. That’s the biggest challenge and the technical aspects of film-making is a big challenge in maintaining character even though scenes that are next to each other in a movie might be weeks apart in the shooting script. That’s a bit of a challenge. The main challenges I have for voice acting is creating that movie in your head so that when the animators draw the character they give a very faithful and accurate vision of what you’re portraying. That’s the biggest challenge, to make people see the movie when you’re talking. Short, concise answer. Sorry!
CANDICE: How about your hobbies? You have a lot of hobbies.
GARRY: Well, I’m a golf nut. I love golf. I paint on occasion, do watercolours. I haven’t done any this year because last year I injured my leg and the idea of sitting still and painting was just too painful because my leg would seize up and I just could not sit still for almost a year enough to concentrate on painting. That takes a lot of concentration. So I play a lot of music. I play piano and guitar and sing and that’s a great hobby of mine. I read a tremendous amount of books. Those are my real hobbies. I was making model airplanes for a bit, and model ships. I still have one, I’m still doing a PBY model airplane, it’s about a 5-foot wingspan that I’m building downstairs. It’s one of those things that you really have to dedicate… you can’t be interrupted, you can’t have any noise, you have to sit down and apply yourself. It’s very technical, it’s very tough to do. You ever try to make a model airplane? I mean, not one of those little plastic things from Revell that you just stick together, but these gigantic bombers that are made up of a gazillion little balsa wood parts and then you put on the paper and glue it and make the wings and…. ugh. I made a B-24 Liberator Bomber a few years ago and it had a five and a half foot wingspan and it took me a hundred and eighty hours to build it, but it looked great! It’s hanging up in a hobby store over on the west side. But yeah, that’s basically it. I love to travel, I love to journal, I love to meet with people… I collect accents, those are fun. I’m always listening to people’s accents and what they do and how they say it and the music of it, but mostly these days I’m just playing a lot of music and singing a lot. That’s really fun. That’s my new hobby for this year.
CANDICE: Since you brought that up, I have personally seen you play the piano a little bit…
GARRY: Uh-huh?
CANDICE: … and sing, which I thought was absolutely fabulous…
GARRY: Mmhmm?
CANDICE: Cuz you really are a good singer, Garry.
GARRY: Thank you very much, m’darlin’.
CANDICE: You’re welcome! Why haven’t you recorded an album yet?
GARRY: I’m going to, this year, as a matter of fact! I’m getting that set up as we speak. I’m going to get that together, no problem. I’m working on it right now, I just haven’t had the time at the moment. I think I’m going to have some guys come up who’ve said they’ve written songs that they’d like me to sing and I think I will do that!
CANDICE: You had better!
CARCASS: Do you think maybe you could do a duet with Jim Byrnes?
CANDICE: Oh!
GARRY: Oh, wouldn’t that be fun! Ah, Jimmy won’t do it with me. He won’t do it.
CANDICE: What?
GARRY: He’s got his gospel thing going and his band and the radio show, he’s got very little available time on his hands. He’s doing his radio show and you can hear it on 104.3 (Jim Byrnes impression) “The Shore, 104.3 in Vancouver. Every Friday night from 8 to 11. The Edge of Darkness with…” what’s his face?
CANDICE: Mel Gibson?
GARRY: (Jim Byrnes impression) “… Jim Byrnes. JTB” It’s true, I’m not kidding. It’s there.
CANDICE: Does he stream that online as well?
GARRY: I think so, yeah. It’s a really good show. I listen to it on the radio and he plays a lot of songs and music that he likes. You know Jimmy Byrnes, he’s just, (Jim Byrnes impression) “Hi, this is JTB, we’re on the Edge of Darkness tonight on 104.3, the Shore FM. We’ve got the best of blues and rock-n-roll…” I’m a fan. I am!
CANDICE: Have you had any obnoxious or bizarre encounters with fans from conventions. Besides me.
GARRY: Besides you? (laughs) Well, the funkiest one I had was with a guy who looked like he just stepped out of Columbine. He had a long, black leather trenchcoat and wearing a samurai sword…
CARCASS: (laughing) Don’t they all look like that at conventions?
GARRY: Sometimes! But a lot of people are very nice at conventions. But this guy was very nice, but he goes (southern drawl) “Mr. Chalk, I’ma gon’ be yer bodyguard fer the whole show.”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: And I said, “I’m sorry what?” (southern drawl) “Now, I’ma gon’ protect ye. I’ma be yer bodyguard fer the whole show, don’choo worry ‘bout a thang, anybody come close I’ma take care of it.” And I go, “I really don’t need to be taken care of,” and he goes (southern drawl) “Nope, nope, it’s no trouble ‘tall, I’m gon’ do it.” And this guy, he had like a real samurai sword and I’m going, ‘this is too weird! This is way too weird!”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: Then I had one guy come up to me and I was sitting at the bar in Chicago and this guy walked up to me with his friend and they had been drinking and he says, “How in the hell can you hang out with all these losers?” And I said, “Well, you’re here, you’re part of this group.” And he says, “Yeah, but I’m not a loser.” And I said, “well, how do you say that?” And he says, “Cuz I had sex with a woman last night. A real one.” And I went, “you had sex with a real woman?”
EVERYONE: (laughter)
GARRY: He said, “yeah, you see that?” and he pulled down his shirt and showed me a little hickey on his neck and I went, “WOW! That’s amazing. You had sex with a real woman,” and the only thing that conjured up in my mind was, what do you have sex with normally? Does it require a lot of breath power to blow up that doll? It just conjured up very uncomfortable images, but it made me laugh. “I had sex last night with a woman. A real woman.” And I went, “Yep… you’re in the right place, buddy!” But I don’t get any obnoxious fans. I never really met any. I mean, there’s always the guy who comes up and goes, (silly impersonation of a fevered fan) “Mr. Chalk, let me ask you just one question, just one more question, please, I just want one more question…”
And I say, “OK? What’s the question?”
“Well, in episode three of the first season of Beast Machines, you said to Rattrap that he’s… could you explain what was going on in that scene?”
And I go, “Ummm. Hmmmm… Nope, I can’t.”
“Mr. Chalk, just one more question, just one more question…”
“Uh, I really gotta go.”
“I know, I know, just one more question…”
It drove me crazy because, you know, I didn’t realize that there was something a bit odd with him, like asperger’s or something, but… could not just ask one more question, it was like fifty questions and then I’m like, “I gotta go, I gotta go, please leave me alone!” The horror. The… horror…
CANDICE: Poor Garry.
GARRY: Ahh, it happens, you know. These things happen.