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Warning: This is a random parody of Beast Wars pt 1 & 2 and will probably confuse the heck out of you. Confusion leading to walking around the room, laughing and/or screaming, wondering how and why this parody was made or wondering how it comes together is not the author’s fault
. Please place a pillow, mattress or anything else soft for future falling out of chair laughter before reading this story . Please consult your doctor and/or theorapist before reading this story . If you are already randomly insane then good for you . Please enjoy this fic and thank you for reading the warning.…
…I like chocolate frosting!!!
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Patrick Stewart: Space… the final frontier. These are the…
Author: STEWART! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOIN’ HERE?! GO BACK TO THE X-MEN 3 SET!
Patrick Stewart: But who will narrate the story?
Author: I HAVE… *grabs remote and turns down volume to sound* I have a man by the name of Mr. Narrator doing the job.
Patrick Stewart: Ok. *runs away* I’m Frrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Mr. Narrator: What’d he say?
Author: Just shut up and start the story.
Mr. Narrator: Fine.
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Mr. Narrator: Here we are, in space. Nothing new, just out in space. Infinate in its dark stars and planets around like~
Mr. Narrator nearly gets hit by the Darkside, which suddenly comes out of a transwarp portal.
Mr. Narrator: Hey watch it! *nearly gets hit by the Axalon* *Shakes fist angrily* CRAZY FRIDAY DRIVERS!!!
The Axalon and the Darkside shoot at each other until the Darkside ship throws a giant missile that says “Don’t Treed on Me” and hits the Axalon, which then falls to the big blue planet below.
Bots in the Darkside: HAH!
The Darkside then slams into a third moon.
Bots in the Darkside: DO’H!
The Darkside also falls down to the big blue planet. Third moon crumbles.
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Away from the fic:
VOK #1: Hey what was that?
VOK #2: Shut up man, we technically aren’t supposed to be introduced until like the Trigger pt 1!
VOK #1: I thought it wasn’t until Chain of Command.
VOK #2: No even though it was our doing, we don’t get mentioned in the episode.
VOK #1: Oh.
Both VOK run away with a giant bag of buttered popcorn.
Back to the fic:
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Mr. Narrator: The Darkside glided down to the planet be—
The Darkside glides gently down below while the Narrator speaks.
Mr. Narrator: Oh wait. No it didn’t.
The Darkside stops falling in a cartoon pause.
Mr. Narrator: It crashed miserably! ^___^ Silly me.
The Darkside crashes miserably on the ground of the volcanic area.
Mr. Narrator: *continuing* which is surrounded by lava, it has no grass *starts singing in the tune of Home on the Range* and the sky is grey all dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!
Megatron: *coming from inside the Darkside* Stop that!!!
Mr. Narrator: Fine, have it your way! *clears throat* The Predacons, who were inside the Darkside, surprisingly survived without a scratch and were now checking the landscape around them.
The Predacons are standing in the front enterance of the Darkside all together.
Red Bot: You go out there!
Purple (smaller) Bot: No, you go out there!
Tanned Snarling Bot: Well, I’m not goin’ out there!
Megatron (Giant Purple Bot): I know how to settle this.
Megatron picks up the green bot and throws him outside.
Green Bot: Wait… why I do believe that I feel… *suddenly gets a surge and goes unconscious*
Mr. Narrator: I thought you’d be using the Navigation system.
Megatron: This seemed better… and fun.
Mr. Narrator: O…k…
The Predacons use a giant pair prongs and drag the green bot back inside before his circuts got fried… further.
Green Bot: Green Bot feelzzz all weird inzzzide.
Megatron: I see… anyways. There appears to be too much energon for us to handle, so I suggest we choose alternative modes. And not like our ancestors had either for I refuse to transform into a hand held gun where one of my comrades can use me for their own selfish deeds!
Mr. Narrator: So much to the Generation One fans disappointment…
G1 Fans: AWWWWWWWWWWWW…
Mr. Narrator: The Predacons decided to settle with beast forms based on the most powerful creatures in the area. Three voted on dinosaurs, two voted for insects and only one wanted spiders… after a few hours of shooting lasers at one another, they decided that they would get what they wanted in an alternative mode… but dinosaurs would be higher up!
Megatron: Of course, there has to be at least one democratic decision used in our group.
Mr. Narrator: Are you all happy now?
Predacons: Yes!
Mr. Narrator: Good. Now onto the other team.
Predacons: What!!!
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Mr. Narrator: Unlike the Darkside, the Axalon landed in a tropical place *starts to sing in the tune of Home on the Range* with a waterfall and rock climbing walls and the sky is not cloudy all dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Bots inside the Axalon: SHUT UP!!!
Inside the Axalon, there’s a rat, a cheetah, a rhinoceros and a gorilla.
Mr. Narrator: So, you all decided to go against you ancestors traditions as well huh?
All animals: *nods*
Mr. Narrator: Ok then.
Rat: Ah, it sure is great ta be a rat.
Cheetah: I wanna be Cheetor, no, how about “the spotted cat”, no how about Chee—*sees fly buzzing around* Hey a fly! Must squish!!! *starts trying to squish the fly.
Rhinoceros: Great, now I’m gonna be made fun of… Why do I have to be the rhino?!
Rat: Because my good friend, ya got da second shortest straw.
Gorilla: And why do I have to be the gorilla?
Rat: ‘Cuz ya got da shortest straw.
Gorilla: Couldn’t my rank as commander have overruled the…
Rat: *points to gorilla* WUSSIE!!!
Gorilla: I’m not a wussie.
Rat: Den shut you trap and get ta—hey, dat’s a good name fer me! Rattrap!
Gorilla: I’m glad I don’t have to think up a new name.
Rattrap: Ya still got it worse. What did an Optimus ever do fer us?
The gorilla, now known as Optimus, glares at Rattrap.
Rattrap: What?
Optimus: *to rhino* So what are you gonna be called?
Rhino: Rhinox.
Optimus: Why?
Rhinox: ‘Cuz it’s easier to remember.
Optimus: I see.
Rhinox: …
Rattrap: …
Optimus: …
Cheetah: … I like chocolate Frosting!!!
Rattrap: *ignoring the cheetah* So-uh… when do we git home?
Optimus: No clue. We crashed landed on an unknown—
Rattrap: Ok, ok, I didn’t want ta hear ya life story. I jist wanted my question answered.
Rhinox: Well, it’ll be a while I’m sure. We’re outnumbered.
Optimus: What do you mean by that?
Rhinox: The Predacons have six comrades, and there’s four of us.
Optimus: We have a whole crew in the stasis hold.
Rhinox: No, we don’t. When we started falling, you panicked and launched the pods out.
Optimus: …they’re safe right?
Rhinox: Yeah, but we aren’t.
Outside the Axalon:
Optimus’ Voice: DO’H!!!
Mr. Narrator: Ok, going back to the Darkside!
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Mr. Narrator: At the Darkside…
DinoBot: I quit!
Megatron: Why?
DinoBot: This isn’t Earth, *snarl* the crew you chose sucks, and I don’t like you!
Megatron: Those don’t sound like very good reasons to—
DinoBot: Shut up OK, just SHUT UP!!! I’ve had it up to here with you! *throws Golden Disk at Megatron* You’re an idiot and no one here likes you! And you know what? Before I leave, I challenge you to battle!
Megatron: *mutters* How did I know that was coming?
DinoBot: Do you accept my challenge?
Megatron: I would but, I just don’t want to.
DinoBot: WHAT!!!
Megatron: You see, I am not like those tyrant leaders who would have someone attack… I’m the kind who patiently waits until the bot finishes complaining before I—Scorpinok, NOW!!!
A blue scorpion transforms into a blue robot and shoots DinoBot to the other side of the planet.
DinoBot: *voice fading in the distance* AH! DAMN YOU ALL!!!!
A red pterodactyl, a purple tarantula and a green and yellow wasp has seen what happened.
Red Pterodactyl: Didn’t see that coming. So, what now?
Megatron: Entertainment. DANCE PUPPETS, DANCE!
All three Predacons look worried.
Purple Tarantula: Or we could look for the Maximals who crashed landed on this planet too and destroy any who survived the crash.
Megatron: That can work too. But I’m looking as well. I want to find whoever is in charge of the crew and destroy him myself.
Other Predacons: Fine, whatever.
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Mr. Narrator: Meanwhile…
Rattrap: Man… I’m sick of not doin’ not-ting.
Optimus: Well, you can help out by seeing what parts of the ship are salvagible.
Rattap: I said I was bored, not desparate.
Mr. Narrator: Ok… it appears that everyone is doing their part...
The ADHD cheetah, who finally decided to stick with the name ‘Cheetor’, is now running around.
Mr. Narrator: (Continuing) Except for Cheetor, who is running around like an idiot.
Cheetor: I caught the bug, so now I’m gonna help you guys out! No, wait, I’m gonna climb a tree, no, a cliff, no a—
Other Maximals: Cheetor! Shut up and take your cyber Ritalin!!!
Cheetor: But that stuff makes me sleepy, and I wanna do a lot of things here before I leave cuz it’s such a cool place to hang out a— *spots two cheetahs* ooh! Playmates! Gotta run! See ya!!!
Mr. Narrator: Cheetor runs off at the speed of light after his new found playmates… which is surprising in itself since he stumbles and falls every five seconds.
Cheetor does what Mr. Narrator said he does… stumble and fall every five seconds.
Cheetah #1: *snarl hiss growl* (Translation: What is that cat on?)
Cheetah #2: *snarl snarl shakes head* (Translation: Don’t care. He’s creeping me out.) *looks behind him and sees Cheetor catching up*
Cheetor: I’M CATCHING UUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! ^______________________^
Cheetah #2: *snarl panic snarl* (Translation: KEEP RUNNING!!!)
Both cheetahs take off at top speed and then stop when they see a wasp flying over them.
Cheetah #2: *Snarl grow hiss snarl* (Translation: Aw great, more weirdo’s.)
Cheetah #1: *snarl and whimper* (Translation: Split up! They’re everywhere!!!)
Both cats go in separate directions. Cheetor stops, takes one good look at the wasp, transforms and fires at it. Surprisingly enough, it’s Waspinator.
Waspinator: Oh no! Maximal attacking Wazzzpinator! Maximalzzz muzzzt be zzzmarter than Predaconzzz thought!
Mr. Narrator: Meanwhile, in Cheetor’s POV…
Cheetor: *still shooting at Waspinator* SHOOT THE BUG SHOOT THE BUG SHOOT THE BUT SHOOT THE BUG SHOOT THE BUG… (*keeps saying it*)
Mr. Narrator: *sighs* this is gonna go on for a while so let’s head back to where the good guys are.
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Back at the Axalon:
Optimus: We must go after Cheetor!
Rattrap: Why?
Optimus: Because he forgot to take his cyber Ritalin.
Rhinox: He didn’t forget, he refused to take it. Don’t you remember what happened a scene ago?
Optimus: Scene?
Rhinox: Er… I mean a few minutes ago. *mutters* Yes… minutes.
Mr. Narrator: Will you all just get moving!!!
Optimus/Rattrap/Rhinox: Sorry.
Mr. Narrator: That’s better.
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Back at the battlefield:
Mr. Narrator: Waspinator was beginning to get sick of the Maximal firing on him.
Waspinator: Wazzpinator izzz zzzick of zzztupid Maximal! Wazzzpinator TERRORIZZZE!
Mr. Narrator: And on the shooting did continue… even though neither one of them could hit the broad side of a barn.
Neither one of them is having any luck of hitting the other one.
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Back with the rescue team:
Optimus, Rhinox and Rattrap are on their way to the battlefield.
Rattrap: So why do I gotta be here?
Optimus: Because we’re helping Cheetor.
Rattrap: Well I tink dat I shoulda stayed at da ship.
Optimus: We don’t need to protect the ship right now.
Rattrap: Really? Well I now tink that cuz of yer lack of tinkin’ skills, someone could git inta our ship and prevent us from gettin’ back in it again.
Rhinox: *in his head* What? Did he read the script too?
Optimus: Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. The enemy doesn’t even know were our ship is.
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Mr. Narrator: Meanwhile, back at the Axalon…
DinoBot lands on a bridge as the missiles waved buh-bye and fly down the cliff.
DinoBot: O_O *then >_<#* DAMN YOU MEGATRON!!! I WILL GET EVEN!!!
Mr. Narrator: Um… DinoBot, there is a way for you to get back at him.
DinoBot: How?
Mr. Narrator: Behind you.
DinoBot looks behind him and sees the Axalon.
DinoBot: What kind of moron would leave it here unguarded? *gets an idea* Oh I know what to do. *smiles evilly*
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Back with the ‘Heroes’:
Optimus notices that the route Rhinox is heading for was blocked off by boulders.
Optimus: Um... Rhinox, you might want to go another route…
Rattrap: *suddenly notices ‘road block’* For bootin’ up cold! TURN AWAY!!! TURN AWAY!!!
Rhinox keeps on heading to the area. Optimus and Rattrap shrug to themselves and put on hard helmets. The next thing that happens is that Optimus, Rattrap and Rhinox (replaced with their stunt doubles: a smaller version of King Kong, a hamster and the ballerina hippopotamus from the Disney movie, Fantasia, in that order) jump over the boulder-up area.
Optimus: *thinks for a second and then…* Riiiight, he’s a rhinoceros...
Rattrap: *remembers why at the exact same time as Optimus* Hey-yeah, yeah… ya know I-I… I knew dat…
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Mr. Narrator: Finally, we return to the battlefield… oh, well, nothing new… THEY’RE STILL MISSING EACHOTHER AT CLOSE RANGE!!!
Cheetor and Waspinator are still missing each other. Cheetor’s gun gets jammed.
Cheetor: Uh oh! *starts running like crazy*
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Although I may write up some more episode parodies for the Beast What series, I wouldn't mind if some of you with Parody episode ideas would like to add to the series.
It doesn't have to have the same personalities as the cast in my fic it can be completely different. Just let me know which episode you're going to make a parody of for the Beast What series and I'll be ok with it.
Hope you like
WW
) DinoBot then sees the Maximals heading for the bridge.