More Beast What...

[Wicked Woman]

Since it's been a while and I'm dealing with a little writer's block, I'm going to repost my Beast What fic but with a little more added.

BTW, here are the legends so you can understand:

OS = Off Screen
A Beat = A moment pause
(*insert action*) = Character's movement/reaction/instant action towards character.
INT = inside building/ship/ect...
EXT = outside building/ship/ect...
_____________________________________________________________


BEAST WHAT
Episode #1:

BEAST WHAT

Written by:

Wicked Woman (note I'm using my last name in the script)


Episode One: “Beast What”

Act One


FADE IN:

EXT: SPACE – UNKNOWN

PATRICK STEWART
Space: The final frontier. These are the~

DELAIN
STEWART!!! WHAT THE HECKARE YOU DOING HERE!? GO BACK TO THE SET OF YOUR UPCOMING MOVIE!!!

PATRIC STEWART
But who will narrate the story?

DELAIN
I HAVE~

Delain suddenly grabs a remote and presses down on the lower volume control. Then, throwing away the remote, she continues.

DELAIN
I have someone by the name of Mr. Narrator to tell the story. Now go!

PATRICK STEWART
Ok.
(runs off)
I’m free! FRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

MR. NARRATOR
What’d he just say?

DELAIN
Just shut up and start the story.

MR. NARRATOR
But if I shut up, how will I tell the~

DELAIN
JUST DO IT!!!

MR. NARRATOR
Fine.

EXT: SPACE – UNKNOWN

MR. NARRATOR
Here we are, in space. Nothing new, just out in space. Infinite in its dark stars and planets around like~

Suddenly, the Darkside comes out of a space portal and nearly hits Mr. Narrator.

MR.NARRATOR
Hey watch it!
(nearly gets hit by Axalon in same manner)
(now shaking fist)
CRAZY FRIDAY DRIVERS!!!

Both ships continue firing at each other over a familiar blue planet. The Darkside suddenly sets up a missile. With the sentence: “Don’t tred on me” written in bright red words on the side of it missile launches and hits the Axalon. The ship plummets to the planet.

VOICES IN THE DARKSIDE
(OS)
HA!

Unfortunately for the occupants inside, the Darkside slams into one of the three moons orbiting around the planet, causing them to lose power to the ship’s engine system.

VOICES IN THE DARKSIDE
(OS)
D’OH!

As the Darkside begins to fall, the third moon crumbles and breaks apart.

EXT: SURFACE OF MOON NEXT DOOR – UNKNOWN

Two skull-faced beings pull a giant bag of popcorn when one of them looks up.

SKULL-FACED BEING #1
What was that?

SKULL-FACED BEING #2
Shut up man, we aren’t even supposed to be here right now!

SKULL-FACED BEING #1
Why now?

SKULL-FACED BEING #2
I dunno, something about ruining the suspense of a future mystery but showing ourselves on screen too early.

SKULL-FACED BEING #1
It’s not that far off, just a couple of episodes away.

SKULL-FACED BEING #2
No, a plan of ours is introduced but we’re not mentioned anywhere in the episode.

SKULL-FACED BEING #1
Aw, crap.

The beings then run off with the large bag of popcorn.

EXT: PLANET SURFACE – SUNRISE

MR.NARRATOR
(OS)
The ships glide gently down to the planet.

As Mr. Narrator says, the ships, separate and glide gently down below.

MR.NARRATOR
(OS)
Oh wait
(Both ships stop in midair)
They crashed miserably. My mistake.
(Both ships crash onto the ground)

EXT: DARKSIDE CRASH SITE

The Darkside is in a volcanic area, surrounded by molt, rock and lava without it exploding and causing destruction.

MR.NARRATOR
(OS)
(CONTINUING)
Which is surrounded by lava and has no grass…
(Continues in tune of ‘Home on the Range’)
…and the sky is grey all daaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!

VOICES INSIDE DARKSIDE
(OS)
STOP THAT!!

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Fine, have it your way.
(clears throat)
The team inside the ship, known as Predacons, surprisingly survived without a scratch and are now checking the landscape around them.

All five robots (Predacons) stand by the front entrance of the ship.

BOT #1
You go out there!

BOT #2
No, you go out there!

BOT #3
(snarling)
Well, I’m not going out there.

BOT #4
Hmmm… I think I know how to settle this.

The fourth bot picks up the bot closest to him and throws him outside. The bot stands up and dusts himself off.

BOT #5
(British accent)
Wait… why I do believe that I’m~
(suddenly gets a surge and falls to the ground unconsciousness)

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Y’know you could’ve used the navigation system on your computer.

BOT #4
Meh, This seemed better… and fun.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Ok…

The five Predacons quickly drag their comrade back into the ship.

BOT #5
Ooooh. Me feel all funny inside.

BOT #4
Yeesss… anyways, it appears that there is far too much energon, our planet’s power source, for us to stay in robot for too long. Therefore I
suggest that we scan this planet of alternative forms, and not for techno gadgets either for I refuse to transform into a gun.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
So much to the dismay of the Generation One fans…

GENERATION ONE FANS
(OS)
AWWWWW….

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
(Continuing)
… the Predacons decide to settle for beast forms based of the most powerful local creatures. three wanted dinosaurs, two wanted arachnids and one wanted insects. After several hours of shooting lasers are one another, they decide to obtain the forms that they each want. However the Dinosaurs would be higher in command.

BOT #4
Yeesss, for we simply must have at least one democratic decision made for our team.

After scanning and replication being completed, Bots 1, 3 and 4 become dinosaurs, bots 2 and 6, the one who didn’t say anything, become arachnids and after running around in circles on an imaginary sugar binge, bot #5 becomes an insect.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Is everyone happy now?

PREDACONS
Yes.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Good. Now on to the other team.

PREDACONS
WHAT!!!

EXT: AXALON CRASH SITE

The scenery looks wonderful. Birds curping, grass growing, and the flow of the waterfall eases the mind… only thing not organic is the Axalon which crashed into the area.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Unlike where the Darkside landed, the Axalon landed in a tropical place…
(contunues in tune of “Home on the Range” again)
…with two waterfalls, and rock climbing walls and the sky’s never cloudy all DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!

VOICES INSIDE AXALON
(OS)
SHUT UP!!!

INT: AXALON

Inside, a cheetah, a rhinoceros, a gorilla and a rat wait to be noticed.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
So… you’ve all decided to abandon your ancestor’s traditions?

All four animals nod.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Ok then.

RAT
Ah, it sure is good ta be da rat, right kido?

CHEETAH
(speaking very fast)
I wanna be ‘Cheetor’, no wait! How about ‘The Spotted Cat’ no, Chee—
(sees fly buzzing around)
—Ohh, fly, must squish!
(tries to squish fly)

RHINOCEROS
So why am I the Rhinoceros?

RAT
Because, my friend, you picked da second shortest straw.

GORILLA
And I’m the gorilla because...?

RAT
Da shortest straw went ta you.

GORILLA
Shouldn’t my role as commander override—?
(gets interrupted by rat)

RAT
(interrupts gorilla)
WUSSIE!!!

GORILLA
I am not a wussie.

RAT
Den shut yer trap and get ta—wait, dat’s a good name fer me. Rattrap.

GORILLA
Well that’s a stupid name. Glad I don’t have to change mine.

RAT (RATTRAP)
And you say my name’s stupid? What has an Optimus eva dun fer us?

Rattap receives a glare from the gorilla known as Optimus.

RATTRAP
What?

OPTIMUS
(turns to Rhino)
So what’s your name gonna be?

RHINOCEROS
Rhinox.

OPTIMUS
Why?

RHINOCEROS (RHINOX)
*shrugs*
Easy to remember.

OPTIMUS
I see…

RHINOX
…

RATTRAP
…

OPTIMUS
…

CHEETAH
(yells all of a sudden)
I like chocolate frosting!!!

RATTRAP
(ignores Cheetah)
So-ah, when do we git ouffa dis planet?

OPTIMUS
Who knows, we don’t even know what planet we’ve—
(gets interrupted again)

RATTRAP
(Interrupts Optimus again)
Yeah, yeah, I don’t wann hear yer life story I jist want my question answered.

RHINOX
Well, it’s undetermined. It may take three whole years and a big budget to figure out… not to mention the fact that we’re outnumbered.

OPTIMUS
What are you talking about? We have an undetermined amount of stasis pods in the hanger.

RHINOX
Wha—no we don’t! When we began falling, you panicked and released them all?

OPTIMUS
(after a beat)
N-no I didn’t.

RHINOX
(imitating Optimus)
‘We’re gonna die, we’re gonna die. Let the pods live to tell our stories!’
(stops imitating)
Does that ring a bell?

OPTIMUS
(clears throat)
W-well, they’re safe aren’t they?

RHINOX
Yes, that is true…
(yells)
…but we’re still outnumbered!!!

EXT: AXALON

OPTIMUS
(OS)
D’OH!!

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Ok… back to the Predacons.

EXT: DARKSIDE

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Meanwhile…

DINOBOT
I quit!

MEGATRON
WHAT? WHY?

DINOBOT
This isn’t the right planet,
(snarls)
the crew you chose sucks and I don’t like you!

MEGATRON
Those don’t sound like good reasons to—

DINOBOT
(interrupts Megaton)
SHUT UP, SHUT UP OK JUST SHUT UP!!! I’ve had it up to here with you!
(throws golden disk at Megatron)
You are an idiot and no one here likes you. In fact,
(snarls)
before I go, I challenge you to battle!

MEGATRON
(muttering)
How did I know that was coming?

DINOBOT
Do you accept my challenge?

MEGATRON
I would but… I just don’t want to.

DINOBOT
WHAT!?

MEGATRON
Well, you see DinoBot, I’m not the kind of bot who would order someone else to shoot away anything that troubles me, nooo. I’m the type who would talk things out, then I’d—
(suddenly yells)
Scorpinok now!!

Scorpinok transforms from scorpion to robot and shoots DinoBot away.

DINOBOT
(voice fading out)
AH DAMN YOU ALL!!!

RED PTERODACTYL
(after a beat)
Well…didn’t see that coming. So now what do we do?

MEGATRON
Entertainment.
(yells dramatically evilly)
Dance puppets DANCE!

All four Predacons exchange worried glances.

PURPLE TARANTULA
(after a beat)
O-or, we could look for the other ship that crashed.

MEGATRON
Hmmm… excellent idea. But leave the captain to me. He’s probably the brains, brawn and anything else of the team, as our ancestors had it deemed. In fact, I’ll go too.

OTHER PREDS
(as they leave)
Fine, whatever.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Ok… everyone seems to be doing their part here…

EXT: AXALON CRASH SITE – DAY

RATTRAP
Man, I’m bored. I’m actually sick of not doin’ nothin’

OPTIMUS
(OS)
Then why don’t you try helping us find salvageable parts of the ship?

RATTRAP
‘Cuz I said I was bored, not desperate.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Yeesss… and so the Maximals are doin’ their part… except for Cheetor who is running around in circles like a complete idiot.

Camera pans to Cheetor, the ADHT Cheetah, running in circles.

CHHETOR
(talking very fast)
Now that I made the bug go ‘squish’, I’m gonna help, no wait, I’m gonna climb up a tree, no a cliff, no a—
(gets interrupted by others)

MAXIMALS
(yelling)
(interrupts Cheetor)
Cheetor! Shut up and take your Cyber-Ritalin.

CHEETOR
(still talking too fast)
Aww… but that stuff makes me sleepy and there’s so much things to do before we leave cuz it’s such a cool place to be in and—
(spots two cheetahs running around)
Ooooh! Playmates, see ya!

MR.NARRATOR
(OS)
And so Cheetor moves at the speed of light to catch up with the two Cheetahs… which is surprising in itself since he stumbles and falls down every five seconds.

Cheetor keeps falling down every five seconds as Mr. Narrator stated. Both cheetahs look on in disbelief.

CHEETAH #1
(snarls and growls)
(Translation: What is that cat on?)

CHEETAH #2
(snarls and shakes head)
(Translation: Don’t care, he’s creeping me out)

Both cheetahs notice that Cheetor is catching up.

CHEETOR
(yelling)
I’m catching up!!!

CHEETAH #2
(snarls and panics)
(Translation: KEEP RUNNING!!!)

Both cheetahs take off at top speed. They stop when they see a wasp floating by.

CHEETAH #2
(growls)
(Translation: Oh great, more freaks)

CHEETAH #1
(Whimpers and meows)
(Translation: Slip up, they’re everywhere!!!)

Both cheetahs sprint off in separate directions. Cheetor stops and looks at the wasp for a second before transforming and shooting it, whom turns out to actually be Waspinator.

WASPINATOR
(while dodging bullets)
Oh no, Maximal attackzzz Wazzzpinator! Maximalzzz must be zzzmarter than Predaconzzz thought.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Meanwhile, in Cheetor’s point of view.

CHEETOR
(speaking very fast while shooting)
Shoot the bug shoot the bug shoot the bug shoot the bug…
(continues)

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
(sighs)
This is gonna take a while so lets head back to the heros.

EXT – AXALON

OPTIMUS
We have to go after Cheetor.

RATTRAP
Why?

OPTIMUS
Because Cheetor forgot to take his Cyber-Ritalin.

RHINOX
He didn’t forget, he refused. Don’t you remember what happened a scene ago?

OPTIMUS
(raises eyebrow)
Scene?

RHINOX
I mean, a few cycles ago…
(mutters)
…yes, cycles…

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
(yelling)
Will you three just get going?!

MAXIMALS
(unison)
Sorry.

MR. NARRATOR.
(OS)
That’s better.

EXT – BATTLEFEILD

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Meanwhile, Waspinator is getting sick of being shot at by Cheetor.

WASPINATOR
(buzzing)
Wazzzpinator izzz zzzick of being shot at by zzztupid Maximal. Wazzzpinator TERRORIZE!!!

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
And so the battle continues… which is quite pointless since neither one of them can’t hit the broad side of a barn!

Neither one of them have any better luck at shooting each other.

EXT – RESCUE TEAM

Rhinox, Optimus and Rattrap head to the battlefield.

RATTRAP
So why do I gotta be here?

OPTIMUS
Because we have to help Cheetor.

RATTRAP
Well, maybe I should stay back at ship, jist in case.

OPTIMUS
We don’t need to protect the ship right now.

RATTRAP
(sarcastically)
Oh really? Well now I tink ‘cuz a yer lack of tinkin’ skills, someone’s gonna git inside da ship and prevent us from getting’ in!

RHINOX
(thinking)
Wow, he read the script too?

OPTIMUS
Don’t worry, the ship is safe. Why I’ll bet the Predacons don’t even know where it is.

EXT – AXALON

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Meanwhile, back at the Axalon…

DinoBot lands on the bridge. The missile carrying him wave ‘buh bye’ to him before leaving.

DINOBOT
(looks puzzled then after a beat angry)
DAMN YOU MEGATRON!!! I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
I know of a way to get revenge.

DINOBOT
How?

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Behind you.

DinoBot turns to see the Axalon right behind him.

DINOBOT
(muttering)
What kind of idiot would park it here?
(realizes opportunity)
Oh… I have an idea…
(smirks evilly)

EXT – RESCUE TEAM

The Maximals head off to rescue Cheetor. Optimus notices a pile of boulders blocking their path.

OPTIMUS
(trying to be polite)
Um… Rhinox, m-maybe we should go another route—
(gets interrupted by Rattrap)

RATTRAP
(interrupting Optimus)
(yelling)
Oh fer bootin’ up cold, turn away, TURN AWAY!!!

Rhinox keeps moving towards the boulders. Optimus and Rattrap both shrug and put on hard helmets.

EXT – RESCUE TEAM – STUNT DOUBLES

A mini-sized King Kong and a Hamster riding the Balerina Hippopotamus in Disney’s Fantasia leap over the boulders and land on the ground.

EXT – RESCUE TEAM

OPTIMUS
(after a beat)
...right! A Rhinoceros!

RATTRAP
(same time as Optimus)
hey-yeah –yeah… y-y’know I – I…I knew dat.

EXT – BATTLEFIELD

Back at the battlefield Cheetor and Waspinator still miss each other with every shot fired.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Finally, we return to the battlefield.
(after a beat)
Well, there’s nothing new…
(after two beats)
(yells)
They’re still missing each other at close range!

After a few more seconds of humorous missed shots, Cheetor’s gun jams up.

CHEETOR
Uh oh!
(runs off like crazy)
WEEEEEEEEEEE I’M A PLANE!

Waspinator flies after Cheetor as the young catbot stumbles and falls, stumbles and falls, stumbles and falls and slips down a hillside and hides behind boulders.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
What the slag are you doing? You could have eventually shot him!

CHEETOR
(talking really, really fast)
I ran outta things that make the gun go ‘bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!’

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
(yelling)
That’s it! I’m sick of you and your excuses and your foolish behavior. I’m done with you!

Cheetor looks dumbfoundedly to the fourth wall and waves at nothing. Meanwhile, Waspinator is still firing at Cheetor.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Pssst! Wasp.

Waspinator looks around before pointing at himself with his gun in hand.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Yeah, aim at those top boulders.

Waspinator shrugs and shoots at a boulder, causing a small chunk of it to roll over and hit Cheetor on the top of the head.

CHEETOR
(OS)
(talking really fast)
Ow, watch it, I’ll be with you in a nano click!

WASPINATOR
YAY
(dances happily)
(in tune)
Wazzzpinator did it! Wazzzpinator did it!

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Good! Now keep shooting like that and you’ll get him for sure.

OPTIMUS
(OS)
(yelling)
Cheetor! Get to cover. We’ll swat that pesky Predacon!

Optimus, Rattrap and Rhinox finally arrive and stop at a cliffedge towering over the cannon Cheetor sits at.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
(little nervous)
Oh, thank goodness you’re here. I was just getting to the climatic part where you all—
(gets interrupted)

MEGATRON
(OS)
(yelling)
Oh which side are you on anyways?!

The Predacons have also arrived on the scene. Waspinator flies over to his comrades.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
(really nervous)
Oh… er uh, I didn’t expect to see you both here at the uh same place so soon...
(laughs nervously then coughs)
Continue on.
(mutters)
Where’s my giant bag of popcorn?

MEGATRON
…

SCORPINOK
…

PTERADATYL
…

SPIDER
…

WASPINATOR
…
(looks into firing part of gun with hand on trigger)

RHINOX
…

RATTRAP
…
(hits Optimus)
Yer line, stupid!

OPTIMUS
Huh? OH!
(picks up script and actually reads it out loud)
We do not have to do this Megatron. There has been peace between the Maximals and Predacons for centuries. Why start this up again?

Rattrap slaps his forehead.

MEGATRON
(also reads out loud from script)
Peace perhaps on your side Maximal scum… er…
(takes out reading glasses and put them on)
Ah.
(continues reading)
Yeesss… but not on ours.
(normal)
Eh,
(throws away script)
I’m not going to go into the whole conquest bit of my plan because it’s to long and admittibly, to boring…
(continues on)

Bored with Megatron’s babbling on about the glory of the Predacon raceme, Cheetor looks around. Finding a rock, he picks it up, examines it and then puts it inside the gun.

CHEETOR
(grinning)
This’ll make a really REALLY fun bullet.

MEGATRON
(continues from before)
…so I don’t think I really need to state that this is the perfect opportunity to strike.

Cheetor perks up after hearing the very last thing Megatron said, gets up and turns around to face his enemy.

CHEETOR
Did someone say ‘STRIKE’?!

Cheetor fires the rock at Megatron and, not surprisingly, misses the target completely. Megatron looks unimpressed.

MEGATRON
(yelling)
Your aim sucks Maxi—
(gets interrupted)

Megatron is blasted in the jaw but a blast. Optimus and Rhinox both turn to a transformed Rattrap holding onto a smoking gun.

RATTRAP
Oh c’mon, ya didn’t honestly expect me ta jist sit tight an’ wait until da kid actually hit ‘im didja?

Optimus and Rhinox both admit Rattrap has a point while transforming to robot mode. The Predacons transform right after and the battle begins.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
And so, the battle rages on!
(both teams fire on eachother)
And continues…
(more firepower)
And continues…
(blasty, blasty)
And…
(waves imaginary hands in the air)
oh just forget it. It’s basically the same thing for about 25 seconds to half a minute!

Scorpinok lowers his weapon out of boredom and accidentally sets it off. Cheetor, who just now begins climbing up the hill gets knocked down and jams his foot in between a bunch of rocks.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
FINALLY! Someone gets a shot in!
(hands Scorpinok an award)
You are the Character of the Week. Here’s your award.

SCORPINOK
YAY

Optimus looks down and sees that Cheetor is stuck.

OPTIMUS
Oh no! Cheetor is stuck in the middle of the canyon!
(to RT)
RT—er I mean Rattrap, go down and help him!

RATTRAP
Now lemme get dis straight: you want me ta go down a really, really steep hill in between firepower jist to save da ADHD kid?!

OPTIMUS
(nods)
Oh and give him his Cyber-Ritalin.

RATTRAP
No wa—WHAT? Would ya just stop talkin’ ‘bout da damn Ritalin! Dat’s it I’m definitely not goin’.

OPTIMUS
But I can—
(gets interrupted)

RATTRAP
(interrupts Optimus)
You can just kiss my furry @$$ fer all I care, I ain’t doin’ it.

Optimus mutters something about Rodent Shishkabobs before flying down into the canyon to rescue Cheetor. Megatron then shoots Optimus and sends him freefalling down.

MR. NARRATOR
(takes award from Scorpinok and gives it to Megatron)
You are now the Character of the Week for shooting down the most annoying Character in the series.

MEGATRON
But I thought Cheetor was the most annoying.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
As the series progresses, you’ll know why.

Optimus lands in front of Cheetor, moves the rocks away and helps him up.

CHEETOR
(talking really fast)
Wow, the missile hit you like ‘BAM’ and you were falling like ‘AHHH’ then you landed like ‘THUMP’ then—
(Optimus gives Cheetor his Cyber Ritalin)
Thanks, that’ll keep me sane for the next thirty minutes.

OPTIMUS
Then we’d better hurry.

The Maximals suddenly begin running like mad.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Pathetic, you were defeated by a bunch or rookie explorers!

MEGATRON
Why you little—
(gets energon surge)
(ARGHS Charlie Brown style)

All the Predacons get energon surges, fall down and struggle to move.

SCORPINOK
Wait a cycle, why didn’t Waspinator get an energon surge before up?

WASPINATOR
Wazzzpinator hazzz five zzzecond zzzafety feature on Wazzzpinator!

MEGATRON
(yells)
Return to Beast Mode!

Mr. Narrator laughs as the Predacons transform back to beast mode.

EXT – BACK TO OUR ‘HEROS’ – Sunset

Rhinox and Optimus beat the crud out of Rattrap.

RATTRAP
What da heck did I do?

OPTIMUS
You mean besides disobeying a direct order… from your superior?!

RATTRAP
Yeah? An’ where’d ya git da gig from, da bottom of yer cereal box?!

RHINOX
Don’t make me hurt you.

RATTRAP
How, by sittin’ on me?!

CHEETOR
(talking very fast)
Wow, this is fun. What’re we gonna do next should we tie him to a tree and leave ‘im there…

RHINOX
(while Cheetor is talking)
Dear slag, it wore off!

OPTIMUS/RATTRAP
RUN FOR IT!!!

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
And indeed, they do run.

Optimus, Rhinox and Rattrap run like mad.

EXT: AXALON

DinoBot lies on a lounging chair in beast mode working on his tan with a sunhat on when he hears noises from the east of him. He looks up and sees Optimus, Rhinox and Rattrap from a distance running towards the bridge by the base. He then puts down the Cybertron Warriors magazine he read while waiting.

DINOBOT
Well, it’s about time.
(gets up)
Did Megatron bore them with his conquest speech?
(walks to the bridge)

Optimus, Rhinox and Rattrap stop by the bridge and try to catch their breath while Cheetor finally catches up with them as energetic as ever.

CHEETOR
(talking very fast)
Wow! That was a fun race we had, great end to a great day don’t ya thing?
(Optimus Rhinox and Rattrap gasp in horror)
So who won? Who won who won who won who won who—hey who’s that guy?

All three Maximals look up and see DinoBot at the bridge.

RATTRAP
Who’s dis new character?

OPTIMUS
I don’t know, but he’s blocking our way of the base and the precious Cyber—

RATTRAP
(interrupts Optimus)
I taught I said ‘Enough with the damn Ritalin’!

DINOBOT
(clears throat and gains Maximal’s attention)
Attention—
(removes sunhat)
Attention Maximals; my name is DinoBot. I have left the Predacons to join your group—as leader.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
What will our heroes do? Will the cower, will they face our newest character…
(All four Maximals are laughing on the ground)
… and will they stop laughing enough to continue this scene?

RHINOX
Is this bot serious?

OPTIMUS
Yeah, you can’t be leader, I’m the—
(stops laughing as he realizes what this means)
Oh.

DINOBOT
I hear by challenge you,
(points to Optimus)
Optimus Primal, to a one on one battle!

OPTIMUS
(flings arms in the air)
I knew it, I KNEW it! The second I got premoted as commander I told them ‘someone’s gonna challenge me to a fight to the death’.

CHEETOR
(talking very fast and bouncing)
He’s right, he did say that.

DINOBOT
(angrily)
Will you let me finish!?

MAXIMALS
(unison)
Sorry.

DINOBOT
(clears throat and continues)
The winner, shall lead the Maximals, and the loser… shall be destroyed!

Serious music plays as Optimus stands on the bridge across from DinoBot.

RHINOX
(sighs)
I knew I should’ve listened to my horoscope.

Rhinox pulls out a page in the newspaper with ‘Taurus: Your friend/employer will face challenges today’ circled in red ink.

Switch to:

EXT: AXALON - sunset

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Beast What, will return… Right now!

DinoBot looks on as the Maximals play Old Maid.

RHINOX
(puts matching cards down)
I win again.

RATTRAP
(as Optimus groans and Cheetor bounces happily)
I know ya cheated… I jist can’t prove it yet.

DINOBOT
Did you not hear me?
(snarls)
I said I challenge you to battle!

OPTIMUS
Yeah, but… I’m just waiting until the ‘last time’ clips are finished rolling.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
(yelling)
There are no clips you idiot!

OPTIMUS
Dammit!
(thinks)
I mean, well I’m not one for fighting, I’m more into voice acting.
(sings using voice of Slash in Reboot)
I don’ like LA…

DINOBOT
You do not have a choice.

OPTIMUS
You don’t really look so intimidating with that sunhat on your head.

DINOBOT
What in the—?
(sees sunhat and yells)
Who put this back on me?!
(glares at nothing after sunhat disappears)

OPTIMUS
O…k… We’ll just be going.

DINOBOT
No.

OPTIMUS
Come again?

DINOBOT
I’m afraid that no one shall cross this bridge, the ONLY bridge to your command center, unless you face me.

RHINOX
What about that bridge over there?
(points to second bridge)

DinoBot suddenly pulls out a device and presses the button. The bridge then explodes two seconds later.

PEOPLE WHO LOVE EXPLOSIONS
(OS)
YAY!

DINOBOT
(yelling)
No one crosses this bridge, until you
(points to Optimus)
face me!
(begins to breathe heavily)

RHINOX
(after a beat)
Better do as he says.

OPTIMUS
But I don’t wanna.

RHINOX
He’s blocking our path to the ship.

OPTIMUS
We’ll find another location.

RHINOX
Energon surges.

OPTIMUS
I like my beast mode now.

RHINOX
Cheetor’s Cyber-Ritalin is in there.

OPTIMUS
Fine, I’ll do it.

DINOBOT
(grins)
Excellent
(snarls)
(mutters)
‘bout time anyway.
(out loud)
Now I have a surprise for you.

CHEETOR
(talking very fast and bounces up and down)
Surprise! I love surprises, don’t you love surprises, surprises make the world go—

DINOBOT
(interrupts Cheetor)
Will you shut him up!

Rattrap slaps duck take over Cheetor’s mouth.

DINOBOT
Now, in my anticipation of my role as Leader, I have already changed my activation code.

RHINOX
That was a complete waste of time.

DINOBOT
(frusterated)
What, do you all have some kind of Smart-Ass badge!?

RATTRAP
(while others nod)
There’s a smart-ass badge?

DinoBot transforms using Maximize instead of Terrorize, Optimus does the same.

MR. NARRATOR
And so, both begin their battle by waving their swords… and the shield, we must never forget the shield.

OPTIMUS
(about the swords)
They’re titanium swords.

DINOBOT
(interested)
Hmmm… you don’t say.
(realizes)
Hey! We’re supposed to be battling!

OPTIMUS
(sighs)
Fine.
(raises sword)
For Cheetor’s—
(is interrupted)

RATTRAP
(OS)
Don’t say it!

OPTIMUS
(lowers sword and sighs again)
Fine.

MR. NARRATOR
And so, the battle really begins this time…
(looks around)
…now if only I could find my big bag of popcorn…

Swords clash as Optimus and DinoBot battle while the other Maximals look on, cheering, booing or just bouncing in duration. Suddenly, Optimus trips over his own feet and nearly falls off. The Maximals gasp in shock but when Optimus regains his balance, they sigh in relief as Rattrap boos again. As a shadow looms over him, Optimus turns and accidentally smacks DinoBot in the face with one of his swords. The warrior collapses to the ground.

OPTIMUS
Holy frag!

RHINOX
Ouch.

RATTRAP
(as Cheetor nods)
Dat one hurt ‘im.

MR. NARRATOR
(looks up from his search)
Aw man! I missed it!

OPTIMUS
(stands over DinoBot while panicing)
I am soooo sorry! It was an accident I seriously didn’t know you where right there.

RATTRAP
(OS)
What are ya doin’? Yer sapposed ta hit ‘im!

Optimus turns to comment when DinoBot’s optics open. He grabs for Optimus who jumps in reaction.

MAXIMALS AND MR. NARRATOR
(screams)

Optimus slips off the edge and nearly falls but his legs from his new form keep him on the ledge. DinoBot walks over to him, still holding his sword.

MR. NARRATOR
(as the other stare in shock)
Finish him! Finish him!

DinoBot grabs Optimus and brings him back onto the ledge.

OPTIMUS
(catching his breath)
What are you doing? You’d won.

DINOBOT
You slipped.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
It was your fault.

DINOBOT
(yells at Mr. Narrator)
Shaddap!
(to Optimus)
To defeat you in that matter would have lacked honor. I would not have earned the right to lead.

RATTRAP
Aw man, jist when dis guy was starting to sound cool, he brings up dis ‘honor’ crap!

DinoBot angrily blasts Rattrap to the wall of the cliffs with his laser optics. After three beats, Mr. Narrator slowly moves away from the others.

OPTIMUS
Hey! No one does that to him but me…
(thinks)
…and Rhinox.

Mr. Narrator turns to Rhinox, who simply nods at the comment. Optimus raises his remaining sword.

OPTIMUS
Let’s go!

DINOBOT
(yells like Joe Swanson from Family Guy)
Bring it on!

MR. NARRATOR
(turns on ‘He’s a Pirate’ from Pirates of the Caribbean)
And so, the fight begins for real this time!

Swords collide and make loud sounds as Optimus and DinoBot battle until they both hear the lollipop song instead of the Pirate’s music. Everyone turns to Cheetor, who is transformed and snapping his fingers to the beat.

CHEETOR
(talking very fast)
What I like this song.

EXT: Near the Axalon

The Predacons (beast mode) watch from afar while Megatron (robot mode) stands in front, using binoculars.

SCORPINOK
(OS)
What do you see Megatron.

MEGATRON
Just our own turncoat fighting against…
(realizes)
PRIMAL! I should be his opponent, not someone who’s afraid of fighting me!

TERRORSAUR
Well, he did get there first, and anyways he wasn’t afraid, you had Scorpinok shoot—
(is interrupted)

MEGATRON
(interrupts Terrorsaur and lowers binoculars)
Lalalalala I’m not listening! Lalalala
(continues)

Waspinator reaches for the binoculars when Megatron suddenly moves them away from his reach.

MEGATRON
These are mine, no you may not have them!
(Waspinator groans in defeat)

TARANTULAS
Humph, how boring. Neither one winning impresses me.

MEGATRON
Then let’s kick it up a notch!

TERRORSAUR
Huh?

SCORPINOK
He’s been watching cooking shows.

MEGATRON
Predacons! Bring out the destructo-bot 5000!

SCORPINOK
Uh, Megatron, that was destroyed in the crash.

MEGATRON
(to himself)
Ah yes, that’s true.
(to Predacons)
Then let’s just blow up the bridge, shall we.

The other Predacons agree as they transform. They all begin to fire at the bridge. Cheetor notices the missiles coming.

CHEETOR
(talking very fast)
Hey! It’s mister missiles come to say ‘hello’! Say hi to the missiles Big Bot!

OPTIMUS
The what?!

DINOBOT
(goes in front of Optimus)
Do not worry. I shall stop them!

DinoBot extends his right arm in front of him. Nothing happens as the missiles continue their approach.

DINOBOT
(angrily)
Damn you Keanu Reeves!

Optimus transforms to beast mode and pushes DinoBot, and himself, over the ledge. The missiles fly passed the bridge completely.

RHINOX
No! Optimus!

RATTRAP
(after a beat)
Dibs on all his stuff.

CHEETOR
(talking very fast)
I’m really gonna miss him!

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
(yelling)
Will you three stop talking and look down!

All three Maximals look down to see Optimus (beast mode) hanging onto the ledge of the bridge with his feet while using both hands to keep DinoBot from falling.

MAXIMALS
(unison)
Ooooh…

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Now go and do something!

All three Maximals transform to robot mode. The Predacons continue to fire at the bridge, making it more unstable. DinoBot begins to get an energon surge.

DINOBOT
I am shorting out. I cannot transform in this position.
(to Optimus)
Release me… and let me fall… and save yourself.

OPTIMUS
Where’s the honor in that?

DINOBOT
Seriously… let me go.

OPTIMUS
Primes don’t abandon anyone.

DINOBOT
You’re Primal! You are allowed to be different.

OPTIMUS
I don’t think that—
(gets interrupted)

DINOBOT
(interrupts Optimus)
You do not understand! Every time I’m helped by anyone, I get it in the end!

FLASH:

INT: PREDACON CAFETERIA –

DinoBot sits next to another Predacon child.

DINOBOT
Thanks for sharing your lunch with me. If there’s anything I can do for yo—

The Predacon child points to three bullies standing by the exit, waiting for something.

DINOBOT
(sighs)
Dammit.

INT: DINOBOT’S DORM -

DinoBot closes his book and turns to the Predacon Femmebot in his room.

DINOBOT
Thanks for helping me with my midterm report. If there’s anything I can—

DinoBot then notices that the femmebot has taken off her armor.

DINOBOT
(annoyed)
Dammit…

INT: AIRPORT – 56 EARTH HOURS AGO

DinoBot stands with Megatron inside an airport as paramedics rush outside with security. In the sky shows plane debris falling into the ocean.

DINOBOT
Thanks for preventing me from going on Flight 180 to Paris. If there’s anything I can do in return then—

Megatron shows DinoBot a contract to his team to help in a theft mission.

DINOBOT
(angrily)
Dammit!

FLASH ENDS:

EXT: BRIDGE TO AXALON – PRESENT DAY

DINOBOT
There is absolutely no way I will endure that horror again.

RHINOX
(OS)
Too late, Optimus saved you.

DinoBot looks around and finds he and Optimus, right-side up, stand on the bridge with Rhinox, Cheetor and Rattrap.

DINOBOT
(angrily)
DAMMIT! DAMMIT! DAMMIT! This happens every time!

OPTIMUS
It’s not that big a deal.

DINOBOT
(angrily)
No, you don’t understand! Now that you’ve saved me, I have to stay with you until I repay my debt.

RATTRAP
(angrily)
(to Optimus)
Now look what ya done!

CHEETOR
(talking very fast)
Look! More missiles!

More Predacon missile fly towards the Maximals, this time, hitting the bridge. DinoBot runs to the other side, followed by Rhinox carrying Cheetor, who’s singing ‘London Bridges falling down’, then by Optimus and Rattrap. The ground under Rattrap falls apart, causing the Maximal rodent to fall. At the last second, Optimus grabs Rattrap and pulls him back up.

RATTRAP
(panting)
Guess I should tank you.

OPTIMUS
Yeah, I guess you shou—

RATTRAP
(interrupts Optimus)
Sorry, I can’t.

OPTIMUS
(while Rhinox holds him back)
That does it!

RHINOX
(holding Optimus back)
Don’t worry. You’ll get back at him later.

OPTIMUS
(calms down)
I wanna get back at him now.
(sulks and crosses his arms)

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Meanwhile…

EXT: NEAR THE AXALON

Megatron backhands the closest Predacon to him (Terrorsaur).

MEGATRON
What kind of Predacons are you anyways! You can’t even take down a bunch or explorers!
(hears explosion)
What was that?

SCORPINOK
(walks over to Megatron)
It sounded like missiles hitting a mountain.

WASPINATOR
(OS)
How very accurate.

TARANTULAS
(points passed bridge wreck)
Look!

The other Predacons turn to see that a mountain cracked open to reveal Energon.

MEGATRON
Energon! Must…have…ENERGON!!!

SCORPINOK
(to Terrorsaur)
He’s so excited that he can hardly speak properly.

TERRORSAUR
(to Scorpinok)
Nah, he’s just suffering from an energon surge.

Megatron enters a seizure due to the energon surge.

TERRORSAUR
(sighs)
Better get him back to beast mode.

MR. NARRATOR
(OS)
Back to our heroes…
_____________________________________________________________

Feedback and ideas are encourage. I have several ideas for the Beast What series (this is just the first episode). I should have more in store later.


WW

[Jagna]

cannot

stop

LAUGHING!

WW, you are a GENIUS! i bow to thee, incomparable irony dispencer!!!

i cannot think of anything wrong with it or any criticism, except....FINISH IT!

way to go!!

[artemis-lady-warrior]

YOU MUST CONTINUE! THAT'S HILARIOUS! hehehe Dinobot was like the only one actually speaking his own lines....