The VR’s Most Hilarious Quest 

By: Lady Scale

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Scene 9 

INTRO: We see Mehmed^MP in jet mode flying over the shiny Party Central, and into ‘Grid Scortch’^MP which is The Great Desert of the VR. 

Meh: “ETA you to ‘The Tower’, 30 minutes.” 

{’Truly Madly Deeply’ by Savage Garden^ARR starts playing as the background music.} 

[Sapphire^ARR looks out the window amazed over the huge city below them. Then we see the Autobot, G1 Skyfire^ARR in alt mode, is flying below them.] 

Skyfire: (faintly) “Please put on your seatbelts, passengers…” 

Sapphire: ::resting her head on Rattrap’s^ARR shoulder:: “Okay… So what are your plans now, if I may ask?” 

TM2 Dinobot^ARR: “Don’t worry. Megatron^ARR will save us.” (sarcastically) ::hands together and making the cute look:: “He’s the hero…” 

Megatron: ><* ::pushes him back:: “Grr. Alright, freak-eye, stick a claw in it will you? Oh yesss…” 

Rattrap: “Cah’m down, ah’right? ‘Ah can handle ‘dis!” ::pulls a lever:: 

[Mehmed’s engine stops.] 

All: O_O 

[Mehmed plummets towards the desert ground, it’s passengers all screaming.] 

M: “MOOOMMMMYYYYYYYYYY!!!” 

TM2 Db: “AAAAAAAAAHHHH-!!!” *cough cough*” ::sprays his mouth with the anticough:: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!” 

M: (to his comm. link) “Fellow Predacon stock! I have a new inside tip that TM2 Dinobot is about to die!” 

[Sapphire and Rattrap are both hanging to each other, screaming.] 

Meh: ::suddenly stops only a scant meter off the ground:: 

[The passengers are flat on the windshield, all messed up.] 

Meh: “Heh. Out of gas.” *FART* ::resumes the fall:: 

*CRASH!!!*  

[Mehmed’s now dead.] 

TM2 Db: -_@ *shrug* “Thanks, Meh…” 

LATER: We see our heroes on a make-shift camp with a roaring fire in the middle, TM2 Dinobot and Megatron are both in beast mode, Rattrap was nice enough to give Sapphire the only sleeping bag and we hear crickets in the background of the rocky desert. 

TM2 Db: ::gives Megs a huge drumstick:: “Camel?” 

M: (is in Beast Mode) “No thanks. Nooooo…” 

TM2 Db: ::munches it himself:: 

[Sapphire sits up from the laying position it the sleeping bag, and looks at the rat that is really looking intently at the playing card.] 

Sapph: “You sure that card will save Primal^ARR?” 

RT: “Uh‘huh.” 

Sapph: “You know this is really silly, right?” 

RT: “Nah. Dis’ sum’tin about ‘dis card ‘dat gives me ‘ah fuzzy feelin’, but ‘ah just don’ know wat’s it yet.” 

Sapph: ::lays down:: “Ah well. I’m too sleepy now, please tell me tomorrow.” 

RT: “Uh… ‘yah sure smell nice, ‘yah know….” 

Sapph: ::half asleep:: “Hmm?” 

RT: “Uh. Nevah’mind…” ::goes to sleep in beast mode next to her:: “Gud’night…” 

WITH DB AND MEGS:  

TM2 Db: “I’m telling you, Megatron, I heard L.S.^MP say you where the best megalomaniac.” 

M: ::places his hand on his chest in an authority pose:: “Flattered though I may be,-“ ::squishes his head a bit with his palm:: “-fla-tened, I will not, in order for you to get the laughs. Oh noooo…” 

TM2 Db: ::eats and looks at him boredly:: 

M: “It’s all-“ ::does wacky movements:: “-‘Whoohoo!’ ‘Yak-yak!’ and then-“ ::hits himself:: *insert toony banging sounds* “Bam! Wham! Plam!” ::his head is upsidedown on his shoulders:: 

TM2 Db: *munch* <_< “And your tail is on fire…” 

M: ::claw up:: “Exactly my point. It’s-“ 

TM2 Db: “No. Seriously, your tail is on fire!” 

M: ::looks at his behind:: 

[Indeed it was.] 

M: O.O ::jumps 10 feet:: “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” ::runs around the camp screaming, and trying to put the fire out:: 

TM2 Db: ^_^ *chuckle* “Megatron, you're accident-prone…” 

M: ::looks bored and with a claw, put out the fire on his tail easily:: -_- “Ugh… Why am I talking to you?-” ::lays down on his side on a rock next to the fire:: “-All you have to do is slice something up… and people love you….” ::goes to sleep:: 

TM2 Db: ::looks at him doubtfully but then goes to sleep himself:: 

THE NEXT MORNING: The sun in the sky is really making things hot. 

Sapph: (still wearing the dress because she has no choice) ::has a cellphone and in trying to call an S.O.S::  

*Beep! Beep! Beep!* 

Sapph: ::looks at cellphone:: “What?!? No signal?!! Oh god….” ::goes into crying convulsions:: “I can’t just die out here!... *sniff*… After this… comedy!” ::sarcastic laugh:: 

RT: ::looks around the horizon:: “Okay, ‘de’s a cactus in dat,-“ (points) “-dat,-“ (points another way) “-an’ ‘dat way.” 

Sapph: -_- *shrug* 

[We see that TM2 Dinobot is in an apron that has written on it ‘Fear the cook!’ and is frying an egg on Megatron’s head.] 

RT: ::flips a coin and points at a random way:: “Okay, that way.” 

[We see the egg getting flipped.] 

Sapph: -_- “…ugh…” 

M: “Who are you kidding… WE ARE GONNERS! Oh Yess…” ::latches on to Sapphire’s leg who is really getting irritated:: “Oh, ROOM SERVICE!! Oh, think of the million of children who want me to have the gem!” ::is dragged on the sand:: “Ohh, the poor children!!” 

TM2 Db: ::notices something in the distance:: “Ladies and gentlemen, observe the object in the distance!” 

[We see a HUGE green shopping center that is called “Univers’All”^ARR in the distance.] 

*Insert song of holy angels saying ‘Univers’All’* 

RT: 0_0 “Is that a mirage?” 

Sapph: (looks at the raptor) <_< “You knew of this, right?” 

TM2 Db: -_@ “Ask Lady Scale. She put it here…” 

M: “Ah, who cares. ^_^ Just think! ALL the shopping conveniences in the universe you get here at such low prices!” ::jets in beast mode towards the shopping center:: “Water! Pepsi^ARR! ‘Frutti Fresh’^ARR! Ketchup! You name it! Oh Yeeeeeeessssssssss!!” 

LATER: We see Rattrap carrying a big shoulder water-bottle, Sapphire traded the blue dress for some army styled trousers and shirt, and TM2 Dinobot and Megatron are sipping some ‘Brifcore’^ARR. 

TM2 Db: “Nice of Puss^ARR to give these free juices.” ::sip:: 

{TM2 Db: Puss is from the Shrek 2 animation film.} 

SOMEWHERE ELSE: In the bad guy’s office, Voldemort^ARR watches the huge video screen that the satellite recorded. 

V: “Grrrr.” ::gets the remote:: “Imput,… VCR,… Menu,… Satellite,… Power,… Off.” ::puts the remote down:: “Where’s G1 Starscream^ARR?!” 

[We see a tied up Screamer hanging upside-down by a chain] 

Ss: “Here.” 

V: “What is your report?” 

Ss: “Boss, it wasn’t me, that slagging rat and the crazy T-rex and that dame, Deltaraka and ah… well…” 

V: “You know, that makes a lot of sense… Thank you.” ::pulls Starscream down and lets go:: 

[Like the rope was like a rubber band, the jet shoots through the roof of the office and makes the shooting star bit again.] 

G1 Megs^ARR: (human sized) ::lowers the cage:: 

[In the cage is revealed a chained up Optimus Primal^ARR.] 

V: ::to OP:: “Your friend’s efforts will prove to be futile.” 

OP: “Rattrap is going to kick your butt…” ::tries to punch him one but can’t due to the chains holding him:: 

Snape^ARR: “Dark Lord!” 

V: “What?” 

S: “Our ‘One-Person Army!” 

V: “Ah, yes. Unit *.” (*=Xy) 

IN THE DESERT: We see Carnage^MP running after October^MP on a dirt road, but the blue FevraVonar is faster than her. 

*RIIIING!* 

Carn: ::she stops in mid-run:: 

*RIIIING!* 

Carn: ::opens up a cactus:: 

*RIIIING!*  

Carn: ::answers the phone in it and holds up a sign saying ‘Hello’:: 

LATER: From a binoculars point of view, we se our heroes walking through the desert. 

TM2 Db: “I told you we should have took that right turn!” 

M: “Don’t start that again!” 

[We see that it’s Carnage on a cliff, looking intently at them and she has a big, nasty grin on her face.] 

Carn: ::tiptoes and opens up a laptop and logs on to www.DangerousWeapons.com:: 

[We see a lot of choices, she picks ‘Destroyer Ultra Magnus’, it loads, and a Pop-Up appears saying ‘Gift-wrap? It’s Free!’ and under it ‘Yes’ and ‘No’.] 

Carn: ::grins and clicks ‘Yes’::  

[We see three choices: ‘Ground’, ‘Airmail’ and ‘Instant’.] 

Carn: ::clicks ‘Instant’:: 

*THUMP!!* 

[A huge crate lands right next to her.] 

Carn: O_o ::does a cross:: 

LATER: The good guys are walking towards a road. 

RT: “Okay, ‘ya guys wait ‘ere ‘fer ‘da next car or truck or wha’ever… Take Megabutt an’ Chopper-face’s clone and finish that fic.” 

Sapph: “What are you going to do?” 

RT: ::points at a random direction:: “’Ah go ‘dat way.” 

Sapph: ::stops in her tracks:: “That’s your plan?” 

RT: ::looks back at her:: “Yep.” 

Sapph: ::is dumbfounded::  

ELSEWHERE: Carnage, at the cliff, is setting up the weapon. (which is actually Ultra Magnus in alt mode, but instead of the car-carrier, he has a huge missile launcher-thing.) 

[Carnage launches the missile, coughs from the smoke, looks at it go with the binoculars, but sees that it’s coming back.] 

Carn: ::lowers the goggles from her eyes and looks boredly at the camera:: “Boys are dumb…”  

WITH THE GOODIES: Sapphire is trying to reason with the transmetal rat. 

Sapph: “Look, this idea is just crazy.-” 

[There is an explosion in the background, but they don’t even notice it.] 

Sapph: “Let’s just assume that Optimus being a spy is abnormal.-” 

RT: “Super spy.” 

Sapph: “Okay, but what’s the point of wandering aimlessly through the desert?” 

RT: ::gives her the water bottle:: “Take care.” 

TM2 Db: “Heh. There you go. Trust your instincts!” 

M: “Yeah, except for the Fic Studio, the M.I.B car and the ruins that is the west of Party Central…” 

TM2 Db: “Actually, we are closer than we think.” ::leads the way:: 

M: ::sarcastically:: “Yeah. Sure…” 

TM2 Db: <_@ “I know where I’m going.”  

[He disappears.] 

Sapph,RT&M: O_O 

Sapph: ::taps the air, and it rippled like water:: 

RT: ::taps it too:: “Sudde’tly ‘ah feel like ‘ahm in aunt Arcee’s gello’ mold.” 

[The top half of the raptor appears in thin air.] 

TM2 Db: “People, there’s air conditioning in here. Come on in!” ::he drags them all in leaving the water bottle behind.:: 

End of Scene 9