The VR’s Most Hilarious Quest! 

By: Lady Scale

Scene 7 

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INTRO: It's night time, and we see Kup^ARR in alt. mode going down a road overlooking a huge, shiny, bustling city. Party Central. 

Megatron^ARR: “WHOOHOOO, PARTY CENTRAL!!!” 

(Insert ‘Keep Hope Alive’ by The Crystal Method for background music) 

[We skip to see different casinos, restaurants, clubs, hotels, etc. One, “Cheetor’s^ARR Spotted dollar”, another, “Blackarachnia’s^ARR black bra”, “Quickstrike’s^ARR wooden nickel”, “Depth Charge’s^ARR Dunk’n’Dine”, “Hot Rod’s^ARR silver tire”, “Platinum Coneheads^ARR”, “Constructicon^ARR construction site”… Heh. You get the point… This part of this ‘phenomenon’ looks like Las Vegas.] 

[We zoom in on a casino, that’s named “Emperor Starscream’s^ARR Golden Wing” that has shiny lights forming a picture of Starscream (You know, him with the crown and cape), and in front of the entrance there was ‘video’ bill-board that says “Now playing on stage, Deltaraka^MP!”. We zoom in even further to the inside of the casino and see scores of bots, random FVs^MP and people gambling and generally enjoying themselves.] 

M: ::sniff:: “Ah, yeessss. Do you smell that, rodent? The sweet aroma of money, gold, glamour, and bustload upon bustload of senior citizens!” 

Rattrap^ARR: “Cool it, Megabutt, ‘we're on ah mission…” 

M: “Yess. We find Deltaraka^MP, save Primal^ARR, get the gem, and apply karate literally if needed.” ::starts doing his goofy karate moves:: “Yah! Heah! Ho! Ey!” 

[We zoom in and through an office window, where G1 Starscream, right now wearing his crown and cape, and G1 Megatron^ARR, both human-sized, watching a screen where it shows Voldemort’s^ARR face, giving the instructions.] 

V: “Under no circumstances are you allowed to make the tyrant and the vermin leave that casino in one piece! Is that clear?!” ::the screen goes blank:: 

SS: (to G1 Megs) “Okay, I have your intruders and what they’ve come for. But what’s in it for Emperor Starscream?” ::takes an authority pose:: 

G1M: *-- ::sets a huge metal box in front of him, and opens the lid to reveal a mountain of gold and treasure:: 

SS: ::sets his hands on the edge of the lid and starts drooling over all the gold:: ”Heheheheheheeheahhaha!-“ 

G1M: ::shuts the lid over Screamer’s fingers:: 

SS: O.O “YYYEEEEAAAAAAAOOOOOUCH!!!” ::retrieves his flattened fingers:: >< “Ugh. I get the point! I get the point!…” 

[In the casino, Megatron starts playing on one of the vending machines, and Rattrap looks at the tour guide he’s got.] 

M: “Hey. Did you know that Deltaraka can sing fluid Evanescence songs?” 

RT: “Yeah. ‘Ah know. Big-Banana tol’ me.” 

M: “You're friends with Optimus Primal?!” 

RT: ::looks at him surprised:: >< “YEAH!!!” 

M: ::gives him a friendly arm punch:: “Relax, vermin, I was just joking!” 

[From the stage in the back of the casino, the lights go out, we hear a whistle, and G1 Cyclonus^ARR starts talking.] 

Cyc: “Listen up all you flyboys! Please keep your wings folded for our next act! If you heard her before, you're not here now, give it up for the Flight Saint, Deltaraka!” 

[A swing with the FV goes down, the spotlight shines her white form, and the crowd goes wild.] 

Del: ::starts singing:: “If you want to be good, boy, get yourself a-“ ::strips her armor off to reveal a really snazzy red ‘swimsuit’:: “- Bad Girl!” ::behind her step in Hip-Hop and Rap-Pop and 5 chibi Starscreams::  

RT: O.O ::his eyes get too big for his head:: 

Del: “If you want to be wild, you know I won’t be mild, baby!” ::sways her hips:: “That’s me!” ::two of the chibi Screamers fire their null-rays and little clouds of glitter fall:: “If you really like it hot, I’m the one who hits the spot, honey!” ::all the little seekers ‘fly’ around her:: “Oh yeah!”  

M: ::punches him on the arm:: ”We have a mission here, rodent!” 

RT: ::stops drooling:: “Oh, yeah.” ::sees a sign ‘Backstage Dressing rooms à’ and goes there:: 

[Rattrap makes it to the side of the stage.] 

RT: ::whispers:: “’Yo! Delta! Over ‘ere!” 

Del: ::looks at him but ignores and continues with the show:: 

RT: -_- “Ugh.” ::sees the little Starscreams get ready in his side of the stage and gets an idea:: 

“Get yourself a Bad Girl! Bad Girl! If you really want it that much, get yourself a Bad Girl!” 

[The chibi Screamers go one by one on stage, and RT grabs the last one.] 

Chibi Screamer: “What the-? Hey! Let go!” (*WHACK!*) 

[Hip-Hop and Rap-Pop each pick up 2 chibi Starscreams and swing around with them.] 

[On stage a little later, Rattrap, wearing the chibi Screamer’s armor witch is kind of one size too small but with the helmet too big, starts dancing. The crowd starts laughing in hysterics.] 

M: (watching) 0_o “What?” 

RT: (still dancing) ::whispers:: “Delts! ‘Ah gotta’ talk to ‘yah.” 

Del: “Huh?” 

RT: ::grabs her and starts dancing with her:: “Ahm Prih’aml’s buddy, Raht’trap.” 

Del: “How do I know it is you?”  

RT: ::show’s his shiny incisors:: *Ding!* 

Del: “Oh. You are Optimus’ friend.” 

RT: “Uh, is ‘dere someplace ‘weah can talk?” ::his helmet falls down over his eyes:: 

LATER: Deltaraka, Rattrap and Megatron go to her dressing room. 

Del: ::pushes Rattrap out:: “Excuse me, I have to change.” 

M: “Alright, Miss Deltaraka, hand over the giant gem!” 

Del: “What are you, a J-rex?” 

M: “T-rex, thank you.” 

RT: ::comes back in with a sore hand print on his face:: “Uh, ‘hyah. Hehe.” 

M: -_- “You again.” 

SOMEWHERE ELSE: the original Starscream scolds his wingmates, Skywarp and Thundercracker. 

SS: ::slaps them on the face:: “Listen you imbeciles! We have to get the intruders and what they’ve come for!” 

TC: ::scratches his head:: “And then we blast them?” 

SS: ::facepalms:: “Then we blast them…” 

BACK IN THE DRESSING ROOM: Megatron is searching in every nook and cranny. 

M: “Now, if I were a giant gem, where would I be.” ::sticks his hand under a table::  

*SNAP!* 

M: 0_0 “YEAHOUCH!!!” ::his hand is caught in a mouse trap:: “Not there…” 

RT: ::standing opposite from the changing cubicle Deltaraka is using:: “Uh, Boss-Monkeys’ ‘ihn trouble-“ 

(M: “Not here…”) 

RT: “-so, uh, ‘heah said dat ‘Ah shoul’ ask ‘yah about ‘dah ‘Eye of Sargh’eras’.” 

Del: “Oh, so then you know.” 

RT: “Uh, yeah.” 

Del: “I think something must of happened. Sorry, but that's what it comes from being a spy.” 

RT: “Ah. So ‘yer ah’ spy… too.” 

Del: “Heh. The Ballad singer thing, that’s just one side of me. I also sort for the VR security agency. Professional assassin.” 

RT: 0_o *gulp!* 

Del: “Its really hard to juggle so many things at the same time. If I whd kids I don’t know what…” ::comes out wearing a black suit and dozens of weapons and gismos strapped on her:: 

RT: *whistle* “Wow. ‘Ow many times do ‘ya have ta’ go ‘dah gym ‘tah make ‘da little number?” 

M: <_<*, >_> “Okay, what about this ‘Eye of Sargeras’?” 

Del: “Optimus Primal was assigned to track it down before anyone else did. The gem has supernatural powers, and it will be devastating if it fell into the wrong hands.” ::reaches for something on a mirror:: “I was supposed to give you this.” ::gives Rattrap a playing card:: 

M: ::snatches it:: “Hey! This is not a king-sized gem! Noooo. This is and Ace of Diamonds!-” 

[On the card, instead of the diamond symbol, its replaced with the image of a green gem.] 

M: “What kind of a sick joke is this?!” *Whack!* ::gets karate whacked by her, and she retrieves the card:: *Thump!* 

RT: “Uh, can I have that?” 

Del: “Oh how sweet. Trying to take over for your old friend. These evil forces? Their bad people.” 

M: “Relax, madam. I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘fear’.-” 

[He opens a door that reveals the Seekers and a huge cannon!] 

SS: “Say your pairs, tyrant!” 

M: O_O *gasp* “Fear! Now! In a state of terror! AAAAAAYE!”  

RT: ::gets himself over Deltaraka:: “INCOMING!” 

[Megatron shuts the door but goes flying anyway.] 

M: ::goes flying through another dressing room where the ChaseTail Cress (Tackleblush, TwinStar and UnoDuo) is changing:: “YYYIIIPE!” 

CTC: ::look around but finds nothing:: 

M: ::’Rewinds’ and ‘Pauses’ in the room:: *whistle*  

CTC: 0_0 “EEEEEEK!!!” 

M: ::goes back to ‘Play’, goes flying though the stage and hits the fire extinguisher in the distance::  

*CRASH!* 

[Now Megatron is on the floor and covered in foam.] 

BACK WITH RATTRAP AND DELTARAKA: 

Del: “You know, a mission like this could require years of experience and training.” 

RT: ::with the card in his mouth:: “No time ‘fer ‘dat right now. Gotta’ save Boss-Monkey.” ::gets up:: “See ‘yah.” ::goes out:: 

Del: “DON’T LOSE THAT CARD, IT'S IMPORTANT!” 

[The Seekers brake the door down, and they chase Rattrap who’s going up a ladder.] 

SS: “After him, boys!” ::slips:: “Yipe!”

Del: ::punches Skywarp and Thundercracker silly::  

SW&TC: @_@ *Thump!* 

Del: ^_^ “Hehe.” 

[Rattrap goes to the side of the stage, finds Megatron, shakes, and squeezes him like a towel to get rid of all the foam.] 

M: 0_o “Hey! Hey! Easy on the metal!” 

SS: ::shoots with his null-rays:: “Come back here, you cowards!” ::slips on a banana peel:: >.<* “OOOOhhh! Slagging slapstick cliché’!!!” ::tries to shoot the banana peel:: 

M: ::tries to ’run’ on Rattrap’s face:: “Faster! Faster!” ::hangs on to RT's head:: 

RT: ::climbs up a ladder:: 

M: “Climb! Climb like my life depended on it!” 

RT: ::runs down an outside corridor, but can’t see due that Megatron’s hands are over his face:: “GET ‘AHFF!!” 

M: “Hey! You run, I steer! Right! And a left!-” 

*BONK!* 

M: “-Your other left!” 

RT: ::tries to get Megs off his head:: “Agh! Megabutt!” 

*PUNCH!*  

TC: “Hehehehe!” 

M: ::lands on a ‘cigar indian’:: 

TC: “Give up you sagging vermin!-“ 

RT: ::leg punches him and hops up:: 

TC: “That’s all you got?”  

[They get into a fist match, and Rattrap wins easily] 

M: “Eww. That’s going to leave a mark…” 

Sw: ::teleports next to Rattrap, punches him, and pins him on the wall:: 

M: “Hey! That’s not boxing! Nooo! Fight it here!” 

RT: “YEAAAAAh!” ::starts doing kung-fu moves but Skywarp keeps teleporting a step away:: 

[They start doing a really thorough fist match while Megatron keeps saying “And a right! And a left!”. Rattrap hits the dark seekers’ um… ‘region’, and a final punch.] 

M: >_o “Ewww. That has to hurt!” 

RT: ::turns around and ducks before Thundercracker could hit him with a chair:: 

[Rattrap gives him a really good punch and TC goes over the railing and lands on a Roulette table below.] 

Sw: ::gives Rattrap a punch in the face, witch in turn, hits a support-post:: “Heheheah.!” ::reaches in the rat’s sub-space pocket and pulls out the card:: ‘I’ll take that!” 

RT: ::grabs his arm and head-buts him:: 

[Skywarp is a Knock Out, but in turn, the card goes flying over the gambling room.] 

M: o_0 “Quick! After it, stunt rat! Oh yess.” 

[Rattrap looks at a chandelier in front of him, and does the heroic jump, …but he couldn’t reach it, and he falls on a card table where, Phaneex, Fushinra, ShriekScrieam and Mantista the Neopets are playing Cheat. They all nag at him because he ruined their game.] 

RT: ::coughs up some Neopoint chips:: ::sees the card go flying on one of the tables, in one of those automatic card scrambler and runs there:: 

Cyc: “Alright everyone, place your bets! Everyone’s a winner… well, just about everyone.” 

SS: ::comes up to the table and puts a bag of money on it:: “Here’s my money. ::gives his evil grin to Rattrap:: “Now let’s play…” 

Cyc: (to Rattrap) “Card, sir.” 

RT: “Hit me!” 

Cyc: “Sir, you have to looks at your card first! Ugh. This guys about as sharp as a bowling ball…”  

RT: ::looks at his card:: (An Ace) “Hit me!” 

SS: “NO! Hit me first!” 

Cyc: (to SS) “Wait your turn, sir!” (to RT) “Sir?” 

RT: “Hit me!” (Another Ace) 

RT: “Hit me!” (Another Ace) 

RT: “Hit me!” (Another Ace) 

RT: “Hit me!” (A two) 

SS: “HIT ME!!” 

RT: “Hit me!” (TWO Aces!) 

RT: “Hit me!” (Another Ace!) 

SS: NO NO NO!!!! HIT ME, SLAG IT!!!” 

Cyc: ::looks at the camera with a bored face::  

*WHACK!!!* 

[Cyclonus whapped Starscream with a giant mallet] 

SS: (with his head in his cockpit) “WHY YOU SLAGGING SON OF A-“ ::is cursing bloody words:: 

Cyc: “He’s the boss…” 

RT: >_o ::looks at Screamer doubtfully:: 

Cyc: “Card, sir?” 

RT: ::looks scared:: “H-hit me?” >_< 

Cyc: ::hits another card:: [THE CARD!!] “10! A Winner!!!” 

RT: ::snatches the card and runs for his life:: 

M: ::On Rattrap’s tail:: “Let’s GO!!” ::jumps on a table of ‘Krawps’ and destroys it:: 

[While the Neopets there all yell at him, Megatron jumps off the table and goes after the TM rat.] 

M: (to the camera!) “Hahahah! And then they make the heroic escape!” ::splats on the thick glass door out on the exit:: 

RT: ::peels him off the door and drags him out:: 

End of Scene 7