The VR’s Most Hilarious Quest 

By: Lady Scale

Disclaimer: Disclaimers are in the first scenes of the fic. 

Scene 5 

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INTRO: We see a hand holding a clapboard. 

Smaranda^MP: (off scene) “Okay, ‘MonthyDino and the Humor Grail’ Fic, Scene 18, Take 1.” 

[The clapboard snaps, the hand goes down, and we see a group of medieval-dressed bots, including Transmetal 2 Dinobot^ARR on a make-believe cliff with a castle in the distance, all of them reading their scripts.] 

TM2 Db: “People, I don’t know how we are going to get through this scene without Megatron^ARR, but…” ::puts his script in sub-space:: 

Smaranda: “Okay, action!” 

[The wooden bunny is catapulted, and the bots flee in terror.] 

Tarantulas^ARR: (off screen since he’s one of the French guys) “Uh… Who are we hitting again?...” 

Waspinator^ARR: ::gets on screen:: “Zzcary raptor-bot right about-“ (gets squished by the wooden bunny himself) 

[We see that it’s part of a movie that is rolling in the testing cinema, where Sapphire^ARR, Lady Scale, (who’s not looking too pleased) and TM2 Dinobot are seated.] 

Sapph: ^_^() “Heh…” 

LS: *-__- “Okay, first you gave me the writer’s block, Megs is gone, and I really need him for something very important later. You will have to get him.” 

Sapph: “Me?! Why me?!”  

LS: “Too many things to juggle. And besides, where’s the fun if I simply made him appear here?” 

Sapph: “Okay, when do you need him?” 

LS: “By Wednesday. Don’t procrastinate, please…” 

Sapph: ^^ “Okay, I’ll get him back before you know it!” 

[LS teleports out of the room, leaving Sapphire in a real pickle.] 

Sapph: ::looks at TM2 Db:: 

TM2 Db: ^^ “Heh. That went well… And believe me, Miss Sapphire. If I know Megatron, he’s already probably on the go by now.” 

SOMEWHERE ELSE: We see Megatron getting kicked and skid to a stop out of a wrecked-y old van, which is actually senior Autobot Kup. 

INSIDE KUP’S ALT MODE: We see Rattrap^ARR (kinda’) relaxing in the driver’s seat, leaving the elder Autobot to do the driving. 

M: ::pops out of the glove compartment/sub-space pocket and stretches his joints:: “Ah, yeeesss. Its good to stretch…” ::relaxing in the passenger seat:: 

RT: --* “’Ya know, ‘Ah’m really getting’ tierd of dumpin’ ‘ya outta’ ‘da car.” 

M: “Exactly my plan in a peanut shell. Heahahaha. Now listen. If we encounter anything that requires super spy skills, like saving lives, smooching dames, you better leave that to me. However, if we have any ‘security-guardinings’-” 

RT: “Heh. Fat chance, Megabutt. Ahnd Ah’m not ah security guard. It's just ah job, what Ah do ‘fer money.” 

M: “Yeesssss?...” 

RT: “Ah’m really ah… Ah’m a stunt rat…” 

M: “HA! You a stunt rat? PA-leeese!” 

RT: “Ah am! Didja’ see ‘dem movies, Ah’m in ‘dem more ‘dan myah clone-double.” 

M: ::bored face::  

RT: “Ah no, ‘yah couldn’ stan’ ‘dat! One day ‘da ‘Cat’ said “No no no, ‘yer clone-double ‘wall do ahll ‘dah smoochin’!”” 

M: ::facepalms:: “Listen rodent. If this rusted heap ever makes it to Party Central, I’ll do all the stunts, capiche’?-” 

*Beep-ba-Beep-Beep-Beep-ba-Beep!* 

M: ::opens his comm.-link (with downloadable ring tone):: (exasperated) “Beast Wars Megatron here.” 

[The screen divides in half for that phone-call effect] 

TM2 Db: “Hey, dad! How in Cybertron-?” 

M: ::pushes the line on Dinobot:: “Yeah yeah yeah. Shove it down your catacombs…” 

TM2 Db: ::pushes back:: “No, listen to me. I think I know how to get your reputation and job back. And with less of the pay cut than usual.” 

M: “Sooooo not interested… I’m off to Party Central with my new minion, Rattrap, to mingle with spies and showgirls. It’s a little thing I like to call ‘Megatron’s quest for the Eye of Sargeras’.” ::pushes the line again out of the screen:: “-And you're not in it.” ::closes comm.-link::  

*THWACK!* 

[Megatron is squished in the little half he’s got left of the screen, while the raptor looks at his own comm, strangely.] 

TM2 Db: 0_@ “Eye of Sargeras? …Where have I heard that before?”  

[We zoom in into space and see a huge satellite.] 

“Eye of Sargeras?” 

SOMEWHERE ELSE: We see G1 Megatron^ARR looking at a huge screen that is playing the recording from the earlier conversation. 

“Eye-Eye of Sargeras?- quest for the eye of Sargeras-Sargeras…” 

[G1 Megatron shuts down the screen and closes the book ‘Legend of the Eye of Sargeras” he () was reading, leaves the room and goes down a metallic hall.] 

SOMEWHERE ELSE: We see the interior of an office overlooking a city where a lot of people (strangely in black robes) are discussing. 

[We zoom in on the biggest office chair that is facing the other side from the camera] 

?: “This is unacceptable!” ::turns the chair around and the man sits up:: 

[We see that is actually Voldemort^ARR in person. (Resurrected and all) and gives us the idea that the others in the office are actually the Death Eaters^ARR.] 

[G1 Megatron comes in... who turns out to be only 7 inches tall (dragging with him a little pinned-down chain that has a shackle around his neck) from the doll house/radio station in the middle of the office’s huge table.] 

V: “We can’t have magic factories without wands. Not when every other wizard in this world has one.” 

Snape: ::pushes the ‘question button’ in front of him:: “But my dark lord! They ‘canceled’ our wands, remember?” 

V: “Then put double spell points in spell books.” 

[The other Death Eaters nod in agreement.] 

V: “So, what is next on the agenda? What’s coming up? What’s the next thing?-” 

[He gets interrupted by G1 Megs, who then whispers in his ear. The wizard has a surprised look on his face.] 

V: “Ahem. Thank you, slave.” ::to his group:: “Great news, minions! Direct your attention to the huge muggle-made video screen in front of you all.” ::searches the huge remote with dozens of buttons:: “Uh. Cable, Imput, VCY, Satellite,-“ 

[The screen shows the Rainbow Factory^ARR, and the Death Eaters look at each other strangely.]  

V: ><* “Ugh… Imput, Satellite, Tape, Menu, Rewind, Power, On.” 

[The screen shows the road where Kup is driving, and BW Megs is sticking his head out the van’s window, his tongue lolling out.] 

V: “So, it seems that this friend of Optimus Primal knows about the Eye of Sargeras, and is on his way to Party Central.” ::turns around to the others:: “We have to find the whereabouts of it before they do.” 

[The screen switches to a scene of the Conehead Decepticon Seekers^ARR (now human-sized) trying to maul the Maximal Leader^ARR, but it looks like Primal was winning, even if he’s got his arms tied to the chair.] 

V: (to the ‘Cons) “So, how is the interrogation going?” 

Ramjet: (is badly damaged) “Uh, he’s about to crack, boss.” ::gets his head in Optimus’s leg death-lock:: “AYEEE!!!” 

V: >_o “Eww…” ::tries to shut off the TV, but gets tangled with the remote again:: “Argh! Cable, Imput, VCR, Satellite, Off.” ::to the baddies group:: “We cannot let the good guys win this time. We must capture this son of a garbage-dumpster, and we must locate the gem for our own diabolical ends! Heahaha-hoa-hoa-hoa!” ::is about to fall backwards:: “Ahem. Tell that to all the departments.” 

Simona^MP: “Uh, excuse me. I didn’t quite get that.” 

{TM2 Db: Simona is a random character LS made because she liked the ‘Wacky Racers’ game. Simona is the only ‘creepy’ driver in those races.} 

V: “Didn’t quite? What? Something about capturing the spy, get the gem for our own diabolical ends?” (she nods) “Are you sure you use the laugh?” (nod) “Cause I like the laugh. Don’t you?” (nod) “AND WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!” 

Si: “Simona.” 

V: “Wellll… Simona. How about we do a little kissing?...” 

Si: 0_o() “Uh… Um… Uh.” 

V: “Heh. That’s what they all say first.” ::looks out the huge stained-glass window overlooking the city:: (victory music in the background) “Soon, I shall tower over every world and everything existent!” 

[Hey all laugh in sync while the camera zooms out and over the gloomy castle.] 

*BEEEEP!* 

[Pause] 

Lucius Malfoy: (off screen) “-Uh, wait a minute…” 

[Rewind] 

V: “What?!” 

LM: “What about the tyrant?” 

V: ::gets rally close to his face:: “Extra crispy…” 

*Dum dum DUUUM!* 

End of Scene 5