10.Dec.05

Tree-Climber Meets the Sourpuss

By: Blackbolt52003

            It was a brand new day.  Tree-Climber was up and about, pestering Rattrap with questions.  Optimus smiled and shook his head as he saw this.  It had only been yesterday when Tree-Climber had managed to transform.  Rhinox had told him that part of Tree-Climber’s memory had been erased in the crash and could not be regained.

            It was funny, though.  Rattrap wasn’t his sarcastic self when Tree-Climber was around.  Perhaps he wanted to make a good impression.  But Optimus knew Rattrap better than this.  There was a reason behind this.  But he didn’t know what.

            “Hi Optimus!  Hi Optimus!” said Tree-Climber childishly, when she spotted him.  She was still a child, but her speech had improved greatly and had a better vocabulary than most children.  It was partly the fact that all the Maximals had pitched in to help her, but her determination to learn to speak English helped her past the hard parts.

            “Good morning, Tree-Climber.” He greeted her.

“When do I get Monitor Duty?” she continued excitedly.  “Rattrap says it’s the most boring thing in the world.  Cheetor says so too, but Rhinox and Silverbolt say it’s important.  I don’t know who to believe so I want to try it myself.  Can I?  Please, please, please?  Besides, not everything Rattrap says is true.”  Rhinox chuckled at this.

“Hey!” said Rattrap, annoyed.

“You don’t need to do Monitor Duty right now, but you can go on a Scout Patrol is you want.  We need someone to scout around Grid Beta.” Optimus told her, ignoring the rat.

“I’m your bot!” said Tree-Climber, and she ran out of the Control Room, almost knocking down Dinobot who was just entering.

“What is *snarl* the female up to now?” snarled Dinobot.  He disliked Tree-Climber.  According to him, she was so annoying that Rattrap was the only one that surpassed her.

“I sent her to a Scout Patrol in Grid Beta,” Optimus answered.  Suddenly, Blackarachnia came in, supporting Silverbolt who was badly damaged and off-line.

“Did you say Grid Beta?” She asked breathing heavily as she passed the wolf-eagle fuzor to Rhinox who put him in the CR Chamber.  “What about it?”  Optimus repeated what he had told Dinobot.

“Why so cocked up on that, she-spida?  Someone injured the bird-dog?” asked Rattrap jokingly, in his Brooklyn accent.  The femme was in no mood for jokes.

“Of course someone injured him, you dolt!  In case you haven’t noticed, Silverbolt is badly damaged!  But that’s not the point,” she said, dismissing the rat’s joke.  “The point is, we were in Grid Alpha looking for stasis pods.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.” Muttered Cheetor, who had just come in.  She ignored him. (Helpful to know (or is it?): The next paragraph contains nicknames that I will try to translate.)

“Silverbolt heard a gun shot there so we decided to check it out.  Unfortunately, we found Quagsar Brain (Tarantulas) and the cowboy (Quickstrike).  I just barely managed to get Silverbolt back here all in one piece.”

“How come ye’re not damaged?” asked Rattrap.

“Use your brain, rat face.  How do you think Silverbolt came to be that way?” retorted the black widow.

“Scanners report that Tree-Climber is nearing Rampage’s location.” Reported Rhinox, looking up from the Scanners.

“Good, let her stay there.” Muttered Dinobot.

“We have to warn her.” Said Optimus, ignoring Dinobot’s comment.  He pushed a button on the control panel.  “Optimus to Tree-Climber, are you there?  Tree-Climber?”  All that answered him was static.

“You won’t be able to reach her,” said Cheetor, uncomfortably.

            “What do you mean?”

            “Well, you see…” Cheetor said, looking at the ground.  “Tree-Climber didn’t have a COMM link so Rhinox and I offered to give her one.  She didn’t want one, so we didn’t give it to her.”

            “Well, that’s just Prime.” Sighed Optimus.

________________________________________________________________________

            Tree-Climber happily jumped from branch to branch.  ‘I should have called myself Tree-Jumper!’ she thought, giggling.  She was in Beast Mode and was nearing Grid Beta.  The day before, Rhinox had informed her that she had a built in scanner.  He had explained how it worked, and now she could use it without confusing the symbols of Cybertronian writing.

            Her scanner suddenly beeped a warning and out of nowhere, a well-aimed shot found its way to the upcoming branch as she jumped to it.  Startled, she transformed and landed on her feet, looking left and right for her attacker.  Millions of questions poured in and out of her mind.

            She heard a cannon click as it readied and aimed for her.  She smartly leapt out of the way when the missile hit where she had been.  Her attacker was a…king crab?!!?  The king crab transformed and Tree-Climber gazed at the tall transformer at a loss for words.  When she finally found her voice, she said something that the crab-bot wasn’t expecting.

            “Uh…  Nice horn thingies…” she said.

            “Horn Thingies?!!?  You’re supposed to be afraid of me!!” he thundered.

            “I should?  Because you’re not very scary.  You’re just tall, that’s all.” She told him.

            “What?  But- but- what-how-why-Who are you?” he demanded at last.

            “Tree-Climber, and pleased to meet you.” She said, shaking his hand.  “Are you Rampage?”

            “Yes, how do you know?  Did someone tell you?” he asked.

            “Yeah.  Rattrap told me that you and Captain Minnow are mortal enemies, but he never said why.  So, why?” she asked, curiously.  Rampage told her the whole story and she listened to every word he spoke.

________________________________________________________________________

            “Ah hate goin’ on Scout Patrol.  Ya get no chance ta kick them Maxi’s kigsirs!” complained Quickstrike to Tarantulas.  They were on Megatron’s orders to get the new Maximal to the Predacon base.

            “I don’t like it any more than you!” snapped Tarantulas.  “But at least we’re nearing the Maximal!”  Quickstrike muttered something about wasting time, but he ignored it.  If the scorpion could be injured ‘accidentally’, he could bring the Maximal to his lair and reprogram it to serve as his slave!  Then, he’d have a chance against Megatron!

            Rampage wasn’t loyal enough; he’d scrap Megatron’s hide willingly if given a chance.  Unfortunately, the tyrant was smart enough to have half his spark ready to be squeezed at a moment’s notice.  Quickstrike would join his side willingly if there was fighting involved.

Inferno couldn’t snap out of his faulty programming if he had tried, but that didn’t bother him.  Waspinator would be easily tired of being bossed around and might have joined the Maximals, but who cared?  Once he had the Maximal on his side, (he was sure the Maximal was a good fighter) he’d be able to overthrow Megatron.  He cackled.

________________________________________________________________________

            “So let me get this straight…” said Tree-Climber after Rampage had finished speaking.  “You killed Depth Charge’s colony and now he’s after you?  He wants to kill you?  That’s pretty impossible from my aspect.  I mean, you have an immortal spark, well you claim to.  This ‘Megatron’ guy has half your spark?  And if he feels like it, he can squeeze your spark?”

            Rampage nodded.  He felt close to this child.  They had so much in common.  She didn’t have any family and neither did he.  She didn’t really belong in either faction and neither did he (sure, Rampage might be a Predacon but it wasn’t like he had a choice!).

            Suddenly, a shot blasted out of nowhere, appearing on her scanner and making her turn around.  The shot hit her in the stomach and she fell onto her back, slipping into unconsciousness.

________________________________________________________________________

            “Well, well, well.  It seems our guest has awakened. Yeeesss.” Said a large purple…Dinosaur?  Or was it Barney?  Who was Barney anyway?  He looked like a T-Rex, but her instinct told her that Dinosaurs were extinct.  One creepy thing was…he was smiling.  She felt nauseous when she looked at his large teeth.  She was on a lab-table, the table floating up and down every nano.

            “Who’re you aside from fat, tall and ugly?” she asked, using the lines that Rattrap had taught her.  His smile vanished.

            “I am the all mighty Megatron.” He said, transforming (in his seat/throne, take your pick, if I might add).  She gaped at him before speaking.

            “Primus help you!” she exclaimed.  “You really are ugly!  Maybe you should have been named Sourpuss because you certainly look like one.  And maybe that’s why your troops don’t obey you very well.”

            “What do you know?” he asked, haughtily.

            “Not much, other than the fact that two of them are sneaking away behind your back.” She told him.  He turned to see a scorpion-bot and a tarantula-bot trying to sneak away on hover pads.

            “Quickstrike!  Tarantulas!  What are you doing?!!?  If you are disobeying me, you will pay, yeeesss!” he thundered.  The two gulped meekly.

            “Well… Ah had a run in with Tarantulas here and he offered ta show where he found raw energon!” said the scorpian in a cowboy accent.

            “It was nothing personal, Megatron.  We were only helping you find the energon you needed.” Said Tarantulas.

            “The day he helps you is the day both humans and I grow wings and fly.” Retorted Tree-Climber.

            “Why do you say that?” asked Megatron.  “You have never seen them before, have you?”

            “Nope, but they, well the tarantula at least, have the look of traitors.  If I didn’t know better, I’d say they was after the Golden Disk you left in your quarters.” Megatron’s optics widened at this.

            “Tell me…  Are you a psychic?” he asked her.  She shrugged.

            “How am I supposed to know?  I only learned English last night!” She exclaimed, throwing up her hands.  Megatron opened his mouth to speak, only to find that there wasn’t anything to speak about.

            Tree-Climber jumped off the lab-table to an unoccupied hover pad and steered it expertly (after inspecting it to see how it worked, of course) to a damaged computer.

            “What are you doing?!” he snapped.  He was very worried.  That computer had stored some of his information on the Golden Disk and had broken down the day before.  The computer could be damaged even more if repaired carelessly.

            Needless to say, Tree-Climber ignored him and opened up a panel on the side.  She inspected the circuitry, gave the computer a good, swift kick from her place on the hover pad (which nearly gave him a spark-attack), and put the panel back in its former place.

She pressed the ‘power’ button and the computer went back from being damaged to being repaired (or as good as new).  Megatron’s jaw dropped open all the way.  If it hadn’t been attached, it would have fallen into the lava and have never returned.

He, the leader of the Predacons, couldn’t fix it after megacycles of pouring over the repair books, but the whelp repaired it with a measly kick!

“How’d I get here?  Wait a minute!  Hey, where are you- Freeze people!!!” she yelled when Tarantulas and Quickstrike started to move their hover pads away from the Maximal.  She glared at them, making them feel like they were in the Pit (a transformer word for Hell).

She took out a small handgun from her subspace pocket.  Tarantulas laughed when he saw the size of it.

“What do you plan on doing with that tiny thing?” he laughed.  She said nothing, but shot at the wall.  There was a ‘bzzzzt’ and a very large part of wall disappeared.  A nice burnt edging showed evidence of that part of the wall actually being there.

“Like my vaporizer gun?  I sometimes like to stick it behind someone’s head and watch their head blow off!” she shouted with glee, childish eagerness to blow them up, shining in her optics.  The two transformers took one look at it, gulped and fainted.  They would have fallen into the lava had Waspinator not chosen to fly by (no offence Flyby).

They landed on Waspinator, who in turn fell and was about to land on lava when Tree-Climber moved her hover pad down and they landed on it.

All three were unconscious (aww…poor Waspy…  And I don’t give a damn though to the- aww shoot!  I already did!) when she promptly dumped them (well, only Tarantulas and Quickstrike, she slapped him awake and helped him in) the repair devices (I don’t know what they’re called so don’t blame me!)

“How would you consider to join the Predacons, my dear?” asked Megatron pleased that this child had valuable fighting skills.

“I’m not your dear, I’m Tree-Climber and I’d consider, but my big brother said never to.  He said it would be a violation and an abomination to my faction.  My true faction.” She said, meeting his gaze.  She jumped off the hover pad and walked out of the Predacon base.

Megatron frowned.  He gazed at the computer that had been fixed and an idea came to him.  “Computer!” he ordered. “Find me everything you can on unit Tree-Climber!  Password:  Megatron.”  The computer beeped.

“Password accepted.” Said the female voice of the Predacon computer.  “Please wait while your chosen file is being downloaded.  Downloading will commence at once.  At 10%.”

“Excellent.” Said Megatron to himself.

“Downloading at 36%.”

“Why do you talk to yourself?!!?” asked Tree-Climber rather loudly, poking her head out of the doorway.  “You’re a Sourpuss alright!” she added, rather quickly when Megatron aimed his tail gun at her, and ran off.

“Downloading at 82%.”

“Kids.” He muttered.  “Why do they have to be so annoying?”

“Could it be because we want to annoy the heck outta ya?” asked Tree-Climber once again, stepping out into full view.

“What do you want?” asked Megatron annoyed.

“Nothing, but you dropped your rubber ducky.” She told him.  His optics widened as he looked around for his beloved ducky (What?!!? Megs has a rubber ducky?).  “Boo-ya!” she added, picking up the toy and tossed it up to him.  “Take better care of your stuff, Mr. I-love-rubber-duckies.” She giggled as he shot at her, dodged it, and finally ran completely out of the base.

“Why me?” moaned Megatron, his face in his hands.

“Downloading at 100%.  Completed.”  Answered the computer, which wasn’t really an answer at all.  Megatron opened the file and began to read.  Little did he know that just by reading that particular file, he could place Tree-Climber at his mercy.  Or, a.k.a. Blackmail.