18.Mar.06

Stolen Virtue

By: Sinead

Author’s Note: Kudos to Lady Venom continue on though this chapter as well. Thank God that someone was finally able to help me untangle a thread to keep this story going. And more thanks to her for both Beta-reading this AND finding me more Evanescence songs, of which the title “Where Will You Go” was instrumental for keeping the tone of this chapter wistful, tentative, and above all, deep. *shrugs* And if you don’t find it deep, that’s all right. That’s only my interpretation.

Chapter Fourteen: Berserker

Rampage had enough time to turn around, the question “What have you done to annoy him now, Vermin?” ready about to pop out of him, when he was slammed into by Dinobot. The sword first sliced open a neat gash in his upper left arm before opening a straight incision down his chestplate before Rampage could get himself to react. He batted Dinobot away and into a tree in two fluid movements. The wounds were nothing, and healed almost instantly. “What in the Inferno has gotten into you?”

Dinobot didn’t answer, only charged again. Everyone was still in shock. Everyone, but for three figures running out from the house. Rampage distracted himself enough to notice that Lady Venom was among them, then returned his concentration to the bot charging at him, sword upraised, poised. Sidestepping, seeing the warrior mimic and continue, Rampage jumped straight up and over the Maximal, turning in midair to land in a crouch, the fingertips of his left hand resting lightly upon the ground. Dinobot’s optics locked upon Rampage’s, causing the Transmetal to use his empathy.

Hatred.

Pure, unbridled hatred.

“You did this to me.”

“I do not understand.”

“Do not lie!” shrieked the broken warrior, not charging.

“I am not lying.” Rampage was confused again. What is this bot thinking? What did I do to him? I haven’t.

“It was you. Do not lie to me. I know. It. Was. You.”

The three authors were close, now. They stayed out of range, but were close enough to hear the conversation.

“Dinobot, I do not understand.”

“You faked your own death. You staged it.”

Rampage readied himself for another charge. The voice of Sinead’s Bonded had deadened, losing all tone. Losing all emotion. He was going to attack . . . now.

Sinead felt nothing from Dinobot. Everything had been walled up in his rage. She couldn’t read his body language, other than he was going to kill. All she saw was malevolent intent.

He wasn’t the bot she had somehow befriended.

This was the true Dinobot. The one that once had been locked up, bound arm and leg, almost killed . . .

Raped.

She continued walking towards the fray, watching his movements. She knew his fighting style, or the “safe” version of it. The version that was used in practice, not as the methodology for preparing another for death. Dodging a swipe quickly, she held onto the inner part of his left elbow, opening her mouth to speak his name.

She never got the chance.

Too quickly, she was tossed without even a glance from him. Training took over, and she flipped her feet over her head to come earthwards not a moment too soon. The impact of her hitting the ground and sliding drew a grunt of concentration out of her as she maintained balance. The momentum from the throw sent her skidding towards the waterhole, and yet it mercifully ran out three feet from the edge. Sinead didn’t know if she would have had the capacity to turn what would have been a crippling fall into a jump to clear the rock by the edge of the waterhole wall.

Looking up, she saw that Rhinox and Optimus were readying to hold him back, to restrain him. He wasn’t going to like that, but it was inevitable.

How could she calm him down? How could she get him to listen to her? To come back to reason?

Call.

In the literal blink of her eye, she had fully and completely opened the bond between her soul and Dinobot’s, calling to him through that. She started walking closer, watching to see if he’d falter. He didn’t. She called harder, still silent.

Optimus dodged in to grip Dinobot’s left arm fiercely, not about to let go. Sinead reached his right arm, gripping his wrist as hard as she could, some part of her mind registering that Rampage was on the verge of living his name out. He didn’t understand what was going on in Dinobot’s mind, and he was about to take action and ask questions later. Sinead didn’t understand what was going on either, but she could imagine. She could feel the darkness that held Dinobot’s mind captive to his memories. A darkness that needed to be dealt with.

She had just gotten both hands around his wrist before he turned, disengaging Optimus’ hold, gripping her wrists in one hand, literally flinging her across the waterhole where she tumbled over the thankfully grassy clearing upon the other side. Unfortunately, two young saplings stopped her tumble, one snapping as her thigh hit it, the second holding strong. The point of contact between Sinead’s back and the young tree was almost directly over one side of the scar from all those months ago.

Come back to me!

Snort. Parry. No! Get him off!

Dinobot, Dinobot! Can’t you hear me?

He heard. The words meant nothing.

Beloved, hear me.

No. Never beloved. Never would be beloved.

Bonded, hear me!

He was Bonded no more.

She groaned, nearly passing out with the renewed pain and the mental agony of hearing brief thoughts from Dinobot. The door from the Mainframe cabin slammed opened and shut, feet from that area pounding over dirt to her side. “Sinead?”

“No . . . don’t touch me,” she groaned out, looking up at the actor. “Get back inside.”

“What-what’s happening?” he asked, completely shocked at the sight upon the other side of the waterhole.

Sitting up, yelping at the pain blossoming upon her right thigh, she fought back tears. This time, however, she didn’t push away the arms that wrapped around her firmly yet gently; a father’s embrace. “Don’t move. You don’t know how serious you could be hurt.”

“Scott, I have to reach him,” was her reply as she accepted that last bit of comfort, using his shoulder to stand. “Get back inside. Don’t come back out until this is over.”

Scott shook his head, eyes worried and angry at the same time. “I can’t do that.”

“You will,” Sinead hissed. “Because so help me, if you get hurt because of what’s going on over there, I’d never forgive myself. Get back inside to your wife. Someone will come over when everything’s done.”

“But-”

“Do it!” Sinead roared, infuriated by now.  She was in immense pain, but she knew what she was doing, and didn’t need someone to cause her to doubt! One moment of indecision could end up with someone dead. “I know you mean well, but you won’t be doing anyone any good if you're hurt.”

“But neither will you!”

“I know!” She snapped. Shaking her head, she sighed. “But some things are inevitable.”

Turning away from him, she limped towards the bridge. He sighed, then called after her, “Outtsyder’s going to kill me for letting you do this.”

“Outtsyder isn’t here,” she retorted over her shoulder wearily.

“He will be. Tomorrow.”

“That’s tomorrow. This is today.” She winced, turning her face away so he wouldn’t see it, and crossed the bridge.

You hear me.

No. I hear my own insanity.

Do not lie to yourself. I love you.

You are foolish for doing so.

Then I am foolish. Know who I am. I gave everything for you to live.

You wasted your time.

I wasted nothing.

Keep them off. Keep them away. Stop the voice in the head.

My Bonded, the other side of my coin, hear me.

No. No. No. No. No.

He is not who you think he is. Nor are you.

No!

Dinobot was fighting anyone who even laid a finger upon him. All the humans were behind something that wouldn’t likely budge. Depth Charge was watching both the berserker and Rampage, who was fuming, but not doing anything, now that he wasn’t being attacked. His frame shielded Hacker from anything that could come towards them. Or anyone. Now wasn’t the time for talking, but he had a lot of questions that needed answering. For instance, why did Dinobot snap like that? Why? And what does it have to do with Rampage? He hadn’t heard very much of what had been said between the two, having been upon the other side of the cottage and gathering wood from the front of the house, but from what he could see, this went beyond serious.

“Depth Charge?”

“Stay back. I’ll not let anything past me.”

“Sinead . . .”

“She’s moving; standing up. That Scott guy is arguing with her about something.”

“She all right?”

“In pain, and not hiding it very well. She hit two trees after rolling.”

Hacker held onto Depth Charge’s leg, trembling. This was worse than she could have ever thought. This . . . this was . . .

This was something that defied description.

I love you.

Get out of my head.

I am not in your head, my love. We are Bonded. Married.

I . . . get out!

I can’t.

You are the one oppressing me! You are the one binding me! You are the one who tied me down while you laughed, reopening wounds! Speaking as if you cared!

No. Helping you open yourself to life. Helping you break free of what would have indeed bound you for the remainder of your life. I cut the bonds upon you, that first day we met. I helped you heal gaping wounds, closing the painfully damaged skin. I do not just care . . . I love you unconditionally. I love you now, as you’re fighting your own friends, comrades . . . your own family.

My family is dead.

Not all families are defined as being blood-relatives. These are the people who accept you as who you are. That is was a family does.

Faltering, slowing, staring. Human. Blue eyes. Calm eyes. Peace? Peace. Love. You.

Me. Yes, Dinobot. Remember me.

He slowed, staring over at Sinead, the Maximals fanning out around him, waiting for the next attack. Slowly, Dinobot’s optics changed. They watched this human approach, limping, bleeding from her lip and scratches all along her arms and shoulders. Her breathing labored.

She reached up, one hand almost touching his chest, but paused.

Her eyes widened, and her breath caught.

Dinobot’s optics were glittering rubies.

He spoke. “No.”

“Sinead!” voices called out, just before she was thrown almost harder than before, slamming into the side of the cabin Axalon. She slid to the ground, already unconscious.

You’re silent. What happened?

Where are you?

Answer me, voice of madness, of insanity . . .

Of . . . reason?

Of truth?

Of love.

Of love.

My Bonded.

Primus . . . what have I done?

Dinobot stared at the crumpled form of his . . . his . . . no. No! It wasn’t supposed to happen like this!

He turned, running right into Optimus, whose hands clasped firmly upon his shoulders, optics brimming with fury. Smaller hands, Rattrap’s, took his sword from numb, limp fingers. He didn’t bother fighting or even struggling against the bulkier bot as he stared back at his leader, knowing full well . . . that he . . . was responsible . . .

She lived.

Turning again, he saw Meara watching him. Her face said it all, and yet to put down what it held in words would discredit the sheer volume of emotion that radiated from her. Sapphire was beside Sinead, already preforming first aid . . . what his job should have been.

Pain!

Grunting, he fell to a knee, looking up in confusion at Lady Venom as he gasped for air. Her voice was barely more than a choked whisper. “You bastard.”

He looked away from her, unable to speak.

How does one speak after doing what he had just done?

How can someone move on after that?

Where are you?

Sometime the next day, Dinobot shot awake in his cabin. He was under guard, and wouldn’t be let out of sight for quite a while. “Sinead?”

You did quite a number on me, you jackass.

Yeah. That was Sinead. The feeling of her was prominent within his soul, but the “words” were jumbled and took a little sorting and interpretation to get into what resembled a fluid thought.

“Forgive me.”

I do, but they’re not letting me near you. Rather, they’re not letting me even sit up. I didn’t even know that we could communicate like this . . . did you?

“Not until now.” He sighed, hands running through messy, tangled hair. Memories flooded his inner eye, reliving the mindless bloodlust. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’re talkin’ ta yourself, Choppuhface.”

Dinobot looked up to Rattrap. “No, I am not. Sinead is awake. She is hearing my words.”

“Spark-communication?” Rattrap scoffed. “Not likely in your case. You’d have to listen ta someone else tellin’ ya dat you’re wrong. An’ o’ course, ya can’t have that, now can ya?” He leaned against the doorjamb. “’Sides. She’s not gonna be up for a while more, no thanks ta dat last throw. Rhinox predicts another day.”

Cocky little . . . Silverbolt’s on his way. I want to see you.

Rattrap was about to say something more when he was near-brained by Silverbolt’s wing. “Dinobot, I am to escort you to Sinead’s side. Come with me.”

“Woah, woah, here!” Rattrap yelled. “On who’s orders!”

“The lady’s herself. She is awake, and wants to speak with Dinobot.” He glared at Rattrap. “Alone. No bugs.”

“Slaggit . . .” He swore quietly to himself, then sighed. “Man, I hate it when she over-rides me like dat, the cocky fleshling . . .”

Dinobot entered the building, feeling the glares of those who were to wait outside on his back. The darkness within the rooms stifled his senses for the briefest of moments after he closed the door. Then he saw her.

Sinead watched him stumble towards her, falling to his knees beside the thickly-padded cot she lay upon. One eye was blackened, her lower lip split, but no longer bleeding, the blood was caked and dried. It seemed to be still flaking off slightly, so Dinobot brushed at it gently, hating how she looked, how she was injured by his hand. Sinead reached up to rest her hand upon his mouth, stopping his speech. Her voice was raspy, tired. “No. No apologies. I want to know what happened in your mind yesterday.” It appeared as though even that small amount of words hurt her, draining her of precious energy that she needed.

Dinobot pushed her hand to one side, holding it within his own. “No, Sinead. I have to.” He shuddered, sighing though it. “I should have recognized you, and I apologize for . . . for hurting you. I’m sorry.”

Sinead shifted slightly, trying to ease the pain in her back, then stared at him. “It’s all right.” Smiling, she repeated it in Japanese. “Daijoubu. Hontou ni. I love you. Now speak with me what you’ve been holding to yourself.”

“How can I?” he replied, voice weary. “How can I, when I hurt you? You are taking every one of my burdens upon your own shoulders, and look where it has gotten you . . . us.” His eyes seemed to hold a conflict between self hatred and plain, sheer misery that he was determined to not let his Bonded see. But he knew she would see it anyway. She always knew his emotions. She always knew what he was hurting from, and where to put the proverbial salve of her love for him.

“To a point where we have to do what we should have been doing a while back,” came the soft voice from the young woman.

Dinobot slumped, then shifted to rest his arms around Sinead’s shoulders, pressing his face lightly into her shoulder, holding her carefully. Sighing, the author curled towards him as best as she could, relaxing and falling asleep within his arms almost instantly. Dinobot held onto her, wondering what in the Pit he could have done to deserve her.

And he came up empty-handed.