Stolen Virtue

By: Sinead

Author’s Note: I’m sorry that this has taken so long to get in and all, but things on this end are getting increasingly more hectic. I work at a HAM store, and of course everyone wanted ham for Easter . . . and that was a pain. I have an art show that I’m going to be participating in on the eleventh of this month . . . AND at the end of the month I’ll be attending Anime Boston, meeting David Kaye and Scott McNeil! And a few other people for a friend who is down in sunny Florida, but I really don’t care about them. It’s SCOTT that I care about! David’s just a bonus. Hehehehe! Two costumes to get ready . . . and I’m known to procrastinate! I hope this update will tide you over for the next month or so!

Chapter Ten: Facing the Nightmare

            “Dinobot?” Sinead asked, blinking in the blackness of their new house. He had fallen asleep next to her on the couch, so she had left him there with a pillow and a soft, thin blanket. She knew that she should be near him, so she stayed in the bedroom, ignoring her childhood instincts to close the door before she slept.

            Another moan, this time more desperate, child-like, afraid. Then, with a partial roar and a start, Dinobot awoke, feeling Sinead gently putting pressure on his shoulders, holding him back. “Easy. It’s two in the morning.”

            With a half-sob, the young man clung to Sinead, unable to do anything but that. It felt as if it were the first day that he had been back in the Axalon after . . . after the . . . after what the Predacons had done to him.

            He felt broken.

            And he didn’t know what to do.

            Half an hour later, he was back asleep, this time in the bedroom and with Sinead holding his hand, shamelessly begging her with his eyes to just stay with him. She had stroked his brow until he fell back into slumber. She approached the first cabin and entered it, hearing the familiar whirring of a chaingun powering up. “Rhinox.”

            “Primus, don’t try slag like that this late at night.”

            “I know, I know,” she replied as the large tech turned a light on. “Old habits die hard.”

            “Do they ever,” he replied in a mutter, watching her face. “Dinobot’s nightmares.”

            “His mind is relapsing. I . . . I didn’t know that it could do that.”

            “Neither did I.” Rhinox sighed, turned human, and leaned against a wall. Rattrap came out of the room he currently lived in and listened while Rhinox asked, “Are you sure that you shouldn’t be with him?”

            “Believe me, he just woke up, and I just got him to sleep again. I wanted to check in with you about this: How many times in a night would he have those dreams?”

            “Lately, only once. I hope that they don’t get any more frequent than that. We’ve all noticed how sleep-deprived he looks.” He grimaced. “But none of us say anything to him. We can’t.”

            Rattrap pitched in. “Sapph’s nearly here. She’s just in England right now, with some family. Kiddo, dis ain’t good.”

            “Do you think his Spark is relapsing?” Sinead asked softly, scared.

            “No. Not with your own soul supporting his,” Rhinox replied, tone still pensive. “It’s been, what, almost six months since we met you? Something like that, anyway.”

            “Not on this end. It’s only been about four.”

            “But it’s just under six months altogether that you and Dinobot have been Bonded.”

            “That’s right.” Sinead paced across the room once. “Did the Cybertronian who Bonded with a human go through this?”

            Rhinox blinked, then looked down at the floor, concentrating upon remembering those files. “Maybe. It really didn’t say.”

            “Well, that’s not going to do us any good,” Sinead grumbled. Seeing that Rattrap was watching her with clear worry written over his face, she ruffled his hair as a sibling would, then rested her hand upon his shoulder. “Things will be fine, Rattrap.” Blinking, she looked back at Rhinox. “Possibly, do you think, could the Bonding have just postponed the . . .” Sinead stopped.

            “What? Sinead?” Rhinox asked softly.

            “Grief and depression. Crap. I have to get back to him.” She turned and stopped at the door, looking over her shoulder. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

            “Okay,” Rhinox replied.

            Once back in her cottage, Sinead lit a fire, then tended it while thinking about how to plan the next week. Rustling in the bedroom was soon heard, and Dinobot walked out, still human, and looking rather weary, even though he had slept five consecutive hours, and then another half hour. Sinead didn’t look up as he sat behind her on the fur rug, wrapping his arms around her and completely refusing to let go, pressing his face against her shoulder. With a sigh, the young woman closed the door to the woodstove, then gently turned in his arms and rested their foreheads together. “You’re so tired.”

            “I don’t know why this is happening.”

            “Oh, you. I know that you don’t know.” Rubbing at his shoulders, Sinead whispered, “I’m staying here for at least until Tuesday. I have two sick days saved up, so that should cover that. On Wednesday, I’m going to tell them that I’m moving, and that I will move either with the job, or without. But I’m moving here. Everything but the things I use every day is packed.”

            Dinobot only closed his eyes and sighed. “You’re really going to listen to me.”

            “When haven’t I, my Bonded?”

            “When you made me admit.”

            “That was something necessary that had to happen. You wouldn’t be where you are now if I hadn’t forced you to admit something like that.”

            Dissatisfied with her reply, Dinobot stood and walked to face the bookshelves, reading the titles in the light of a dimmed oil-lamp to distract himself from snapping back at her. After a moment, he looked back at Sinead. “I know. But it still didn’t feel . . .”

            “It released something, though, right?”

            Looking back at the shelves, the ex-Predacon muttered something hardly appropriate that had to do with the second word she had said in her last sentence, letting into his old personality a bit more than he had intended, replying sharply and nastily.

            And Sinead laughed.

            Eyes wide, Dinobot look over to see her laughing, holding her sides, shaking her head at him. She stood and walked over to his side, reaching up brush her fingers along his jaw.“Well, we can see to that sometime in the future, but just not until we’re married. Not that I blame you for having male thoughts, DB, but please, just don’t say stuff like that around Rattrap while I’m there. I’ll die laughing.”

            “Shin . . .” he whispered. Her only reply to that was her eyes locking with his. He shifted to being his robot self, kneeling and pulling his Bonded into an embrace, wanting to just lose himself to her. Nothing more.

            “Dinobot, I know you’re feeling horrible right now. I know that these dreams have you about ready to jump at the slightest shadow. And I think that I know why.”

            “Then why don’t you just tell me already?” Dinobot growled against the human’s shoulder.

            “The Bonding only put the grief and depression at being violated on a back shelf until we were closer, more attuned to each other, and more willing to express ourselves around each other without the fear of wondering if we were acceptable.”

            “Then why didn’t it happen before now?”

            “Because subconsciously, you knew that you couldn’t break down around the others again. You knew that it would hurt you more to see them pitying you and trying to do everything for you, when really, Dinobot, it’s you that has to do the things that only you know which have to be done.” She smiled, and pulled his head away from her shoulder, pushing back his hair from his face easily after six months of having to do so. “Do you understand?”

            He nodded. “But it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with.”

            “I didn’t think that it would.”

            Dinobot sighed, then rubbed at his optics wearily. “My head hurts.”

            “All right, all right, I’ll massage it again. Sit somewhere.”

            “Bed?”

            “Excuse me?”

            “I’ll stay like this. Sinead, I don’t want to be alone again.”

            Smiling, kissing his nose, she whispered, “I know, love. All right, but let me bank the fire for the night. It’s too nice to put out again.”

            “Are you cold?” Dinobot asked, neither of them moving.

            “Not really, even though the nights are cooler now,” Sinead replied just as softly, still watching him. “It’s just nice, and comforting to me, to have a fire going.”

            Dinobot let his hands wander through her slightly-longer hair, seeing her face relax just that bit more, and smiled. “You can’t resist being put at ease when someone plays with your hair, can you?”

            “You’re susceptible to that, too, you big softie.”

            “Hn. ‘Softie’? Primus, Sinead.”

            “Oh, hush and get in there.”

            “Why so impatient?” Dinobot teased, standing and smiling.

            “Because I wanna snuggle, and you’re not helping by finding every reason to pause. I’m losing sleep here, too, you know!”

            Dinobot leaned over to kiss her forehead. “And I appreciate it more than you know.”

            As he disappeared into the rustic bedroom, Sinead called after him, “Oh, I know all right. We do share a part of a soul, remember! And that means that I often catch parts of thought-processes that you try to hide from me!”

            A snicker emitted from the darker room.

            “Manager.”

            “Chris. It’s Sinead.”

            “Oh, hi! How are you?”

            Dinobot and a bunch of the others were listening in on another speaker-phone, watching Sinead as she replied, “So-so.”

            “So have you made up your mind about that promotion?”

            Promotion? Dinobot mouthed to Sinead.

            Bait, she replied just as silently, then aloud, in an easy voice, “Yeah, I have, actually.”

            “So you’ll take it?”

            “Not in a million years, Chris. I’m moving to the Berkshires. And that’s either with a transfer to another store here, or without a job at all. I’ve already applied to some places up here, and I think that they’re interested in me. I’ve had three interviews already.”

            There was a sigh. “Look, can you come in, then? So we can talk this face-to-face?”

            “I’m with my fiancé, Chris. He’s not feeling all that well, and I came up early. And I’m glad that I did. He’s in bad enough shape that I have to call in for Monday and Tuesday.”

            “Look, Shin, I’m sorry about him, and I’m sorry that I can’t do anything about–”

            Sinead cut him off. “What, I want you to? Hah, not likely. We’ve known each other for years, and you’re always saying that you’re sorry about this, that, or the other. Stop apologizing and get something done! I can’t leave him the way that he is, and I don’t want to. That, and I’m moving over here, and you have no say in what I say or do. And you know that. So tell me out fair and square, Chris: Do I have the transfer?”

            His reply was reluctant. “Yeah. Regional said that they didn’t want to lose you to another regional area, but they also said that you do have your own life to live. You’ll be working in the Adams store starting Friday.”

            “Good. And why are you so depressed about it?”

            “I don’t want to lose a good assistant manager.”

            “My left foot. I have to move, and that will take the rest of the week. I can’t come in. So I won’t see you at all after this. My checks are direct-deposit.”

            “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

            “So?”

            Another sigh. “Look, Sinead, could you tell your fiancé that you have to do something on Wednesday and come out to dinner with me?”

            Dinobot would have gone through the phone to kill him, if Rhinox hadn’t gripped his right elbow and firmly grasped his other shoulder. Sinead let her eyes lock with her Bonded’s, telling him to calm himself down. Her voice was the angry silk that was an indicator to others that she was not happy with something. “Chris, I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that. No, sorry, I won’t pretend that. I’ll be talking with Travis soon enough. But be glad that I won’t find any excuses to ‘drop in’ to work. And I don’t want you calling me. Good bye.”

            She slammed the phone into its receiver, seeing Rattrap cut the connection on the other phone just as quickly. And then Dinobot let his anger out, as most of those who were listening in to the previous conversation let themselves back against a wall or on the other side of the table and watch the assumed argument. Sinead watched passively for a few moments before asking in a pause of breath, “And what good is rending him limb from limb?”

            “Primus, woman!” Dinobot roared, going into another short rant, seeing a smile start to spread across his Bonded’s face. “And what are you smiling about?”

            “Because I’m proud of you.”

            “What?! Of what are you proud of?!” he snarled into her face, seeing her eyes start to hold the gentle warmth that came with her most genuine of smiles. That only irritated him further. “Of a broken warrior who can’t even hold off the advances of another male?!”

            “Some guys make it a specialty to hit on girls that they know are already taken. He’s one of them, so don’t take it personally.”

            “‘Don’t take it personally’? Are you mad?! He asked you out!”

            “And so now I’m proud of you, Dinobot.”

            “And again I’ll ask you: for what.”

            “Your pride.”

            Glaring at her, he snarled, “My pride. Pride this.” And with a swift movement, he pulled her to him, kissing her fully, not caring who was watching.

            And then it hit him.

            He didn’t care who was watching.

            They broke off the kiss, Dinobot looking down into Sinead’s face, whispering, “You, my lady, have an interesting way of working problems out.”

            “Uh-huh,” she replied breathlessly. “And I’ll create a few more problems if you kiss me like that again in company.”

            “Ooh, I’m tempted,” the ex-Pred said through his chuckle. Seeing the others watching, he blinked, glared, then snapped, “And what are you all looking at?”

            “My daughter kissing like that in public, for starters,” a slightly-accented voice said from the back door.

            Dinobot’s face drained of color and he stepped behind Sinead slightly, who took his hand in hers the moment she had a chance. “So you like the small renovations we’ve managed to get done to this place so far?”

            “Yes, actually. And I like the design of the addition that you’ve gotten up.” Sinead’s mother replied, looking around her. “Oh, and I brought someone else.”

            “Who?”

            The older Irish woman stepped to one side, revealing a slim girl. “Picked her up from the airport just last night. Hey!”

            For, you see, Rattrap had already taken Sapphire in his arms and had planted multiple kisses on her cheeks and lips in two swift seconds. Sinead smiled and leaned back against Dinobot slightly more, saying, “Here, I’ll show you the second cottage that they made. Rattrap, Sapph, if you two start anything, please, get it done in a room?”

            As they left the house, both Sinead and Dinobot had to duck out from under a few well-thrown rocks from beside the driveway, laughing at the face of indignation Rattrap sported, as Sapphire chuckled, her own face a bright red. The day was spent in a glorious idle fashion, the most happening being a swim in the waterhole and a wrestling match between Rampage and Rhinox, who were still both convinced that they were each stronger than the other in this form.

            Rhinox won.

            “This is simply beautiful.”

            Dinobot smiled, comfortable enough around his Bonded’s mother to be in his Cybertronian form. “Thank you. But this is merely the living space.”

            “So you designed the bedroom better?”

            “Not enough for her liking,” Dinobot grumbled, watching as Sinead made a face at him.

            Meara laughed. “All right, all right, show me.”

            Sinead opened the door, and her mother walked in. “Fireplace with a romantic picture . . . and when was this taken?”

            “About . . . oh, gosh, that was back on the Axalon, wasn’t it?” Sinead replied, laughing. “Around six months, for them, four for us.”

            “How does that figure out?”

            “We spent about two months there, then there was two months here that was between us leaving them and our big get-together bash and all, and now another two months since that.”

            “Oh. Well, that makes sense. In a strange sort of way.”

            Sinead chuckled, walking to the back wall of the house to look up at the loft that Dinobot had designed would be over most of the living area. She didn’t ask what was in it, yet, but she knew that it would make excellent storage space.

            “So you have no electric here?” her mother was asking.

            “None, yet,” Dinobot replied.

            The younger Irishwoman caught the tone of his voice. “Yet? What have you and your friends been hiding up your metaphorical sleeves, dearest?”

            “That we will, soon. Everything is set up for it, but is just needs a few ‘tweaks’ on the system, or so Rhinox said.”

            “I somehow don’t want to know.”

            Somewhere in the darkness of that night, in a different place, a sigh sounded. The owner of the sigh typed into her computer, So where are you now?

            Massachusetts, came the reply. With Sinead and Lady Venom. Miss Special, Starath and Nurann should be coming soon.

            This author blinked, then starter typing again. Why? What for? Didn’t you six just get together recently? I don’t mean to sound mean or anything, but what’s in Massachusetts?

            Sapphire rested her hand upon a sleeping Rattrap’s head, which resting upon folded arms upon the desk, brushing her fingers though his hair. I there really isn’t a way to explain it, other than I guess that you would just have had to seen it to believe it.

            Huh?

            Oh, it’s all right. I’m just being rhetorical.

            This author suddenly had finally had enough about the secrecy that those six authors had been keeping. And it was chafing at her that whatever they had been keeping secret was big, bad, and dark, by the solemn way they had been talking for the past four months.

            In short, she snapped.

            What in the seven circles of hell are you six keeping secret?! It’s getting on everyone’s nerves, and nobody can seem to shake anything out of you six to what happened! Not to mention that Dannn, Skyfire and Sharpshot have been more of lurkers than usual! I want to know what’s going on, Sapph, and I want to know now.

            “Ouch,” Lady Venom whispered, reading over Sapphire’s shoulder. “I think that we might have to let a few people know some things, Sapph.”

            “What happened?” Sinead asked, walking over to the computer from where she had set her laptop up, and was reading fanfiction on Halo 2 at a favorite site. She went over the conversation, then sighed, bowing her head. “Yeah. The only thing is that we have to do is ask the other three how much they want said.”

            “Not to mention them,” Lady Venom said softly, indicating her own sleeping warrior.

            Sinead smiled at how strange Rampage’s human face looked while human and peacefully asleep. He looked almost handsome enough to rival Dinobot, who, of course, was the most handsome one of all in her opinion. “Yeah. D?”

            “Can’t you just call me ‘Dinobot’?” The weary question drifted over to Sinead from where Dinobot was sprawled upon the floor of the dark living-room, trying to fight a losing battle against a headache.

            “Maybe later.”

            “Who’s this author that you want to tell?” he asked, sitting up slowly, hoping that he had heard of her before.

            The three girls smiled to one another, before Sinead replied, “A certain convention-going author by the name of Hacker.”

            “Oh, her?”

            The three laughed at his response, while Sapphire asked, “Can I tell her?”

            “That we live; are real? Sure, if you can.” His eyes darkened. “But not too much else. Some circumstances must remain within the circle.”

            She nodded solemnly, Lady Venom looking down at her hands. “Dinobot, I’ve never really asked you much.”

            “Then ask what’s irritating you,” he replied, his voice kind, causing all three to look at him. Sinead smiled and sat behind her Bonded, resting her forehead between his shoulders. He rested his hand upon one of her own briefly before adding, “And I say so simply because I understand the need to try to set things right on one’s mind, and how frustrating it can get when questions go unanswered.”

            Smiling, Sapphire returned to the screen, typing, Will you promise not to tell ANYONE?

            Shouldn’t something so big it’s eating away at Sinead’s bubbliness be shared? Came the reply. As well as Starath’s open-heartedness, and Nurann’s easy way of smoothing rough words over, and YOUR usual way of just being the steady pillar? And not to mention that Miss Spesh and Lady Venom have become more recluse than usual?

            Sapphire heard Lady Venom ask, “Are you sure that you’re all right? Are you sure that you’ve recovered?”

            Hacker, please try to listen to me. We’ve been sharing the burden that we’ve encountered between us. It’s not something that many people would want to deal with, I’ll admit, but it’s definitely not something that we would give up, having seen and been around. Sapphire hit the “enter” key, waiting.

            Dinobot sighed, rubbing at his eyes. his voice was low. “I’ve never recovered. I’ve just managed to hide the pain easily. And I’m learning now that if someone does that for too long, there are repercussions.”

            So what are you talking about, then? I want to help. You guys mean so much to me, and to see the majority of the core BWINT group down and struggling . . . well . . . it’s depressing. I want to do something, and I’ve tried to do something, but nobody will let me.

            “Sinead, could you get to Optimus, Megatron, and Inferno, then tell them what’s going on, and if they’ll tell their Bonded . . . ?” Sapphire asked.

            “You got it.”

            Lady Venom watched as Sinead kissed the top of Dinobot’s head before leaving. He watched her silently for a moment, then looked down at his hands. The older girl spoke in a whisper. “She’s the only thing that’s been keeping you sane.”

            “She always has been, from the moment we met,” Dinobot said, his voice cracking. “I can’t be as strong around her as I want to be, and I can’t . . .”

            Sapphire typed a brb, something big just came up, and immediately embraced the shaking Maximal. Her motion disturbed Rattrap into consciousness, and he also went to support his friend, sitting back-to-back with him, the action and actual meaning of “I’ll always watch your back” breaking the fragile wall, sending Dinobot to just clinging to whatever comfort was offered to him. Lady Venom looked to Rampage, who awoke at the brush of her mind. He saw what was going on, and whispered, “I’ll make sure that nobody but Sinead gets in. Lady, you take the front door, if it pleases you.”

            Her assent came without hesitation. Which, of course, baffled Dinobot totally and completely, and he . . . just couldn’t understand. Why would they . . . just do things like this for him? He had Sinead, who tried her best to be the strength for both of them. But . . . that wasn’t supposed to be that way.

            Cool hands rested upon him, and he saw that very woman sitting next to him, letting Sapphire keep her embrace around him while she just rested the backs of her fingers upon his cheek, smiling sadly. Nothing was said for almost a quarter of an hour, while the three did their best to try to help Dinobot stand on his feet emotionally. With a shuddering sigh, he turned to look at Sinead, who smiled kindly, whispering, “I love you.”

            Instead of letting that throw him off his delicate emotional balance again, he nodded, using it as a hand-hold to keep him up. Rattrap reached over his shoulder, and rested his hand upon Dinobot’s head. “Next time, Choppuhface, tell us. Talk. We ain’t gonna turn away. We nevuh did. Heck, I’ve done my slaggin’ best just ta make sure dat if you ever needed someone ta talk to . . .”

            “I know, Rattrap,” Dinobot replied hoarsely. “And . . . thank you.”

            Rampage looked down at the group, saying, “Don’t think that you can come crying to me, though. I’ve got better things to do with my time.” He grinned. “Like making completely sure that my Lady is content and in good spirits.” The grin disappeared once the chuckles died down again, replaced with a solemn look. “But I will keep a vow I’ve made, and that is to protect you.”

            “Just him?” Sapphire asked.

            Rampage shook his head. “No. All of you. Both Lady Venom and Megatron made me promise right after I got my entire Spark back. So I was bound by a vow to both of them to prevent me from berserking.”

            Dinobot nodded, still trying to hide an instinctual fear he felt for Rampage. The human Predacon sighed, feeling that fear be suppressed. “Sapphire, please return to the conversation. Your friend must be livid.”

            As she left, Rampage took her place, and just sat next to the still-broken man. “You know that I am not the one who tortured you.”

            “It’s not that easy.”

            Lady Venom sat upon Rampage’s lap, leaning her head upon his shoulder sleepily. His tender smile and gentle brush of his hand over her hair caused Rattrap to fake gagging noises, while Sinead thought that it was just so cute. Rampage returned his attention to Dinobot. “I could never harm you.” He sighed. “Slaggit, but I would kill someone who would try to harm you, Rattrap, Primal, any of you blasted Maximals. I would willingly allow myself to berserk for all your sakes.” He held his hand out. “Now no more of that fear, my friend. It doesn’t suit you.”

            “I can’t control it . . .”

            “Yes, Dinobot you can,” the once-maniac growled out forcefully. “And you will.”

            “How?” was the defiant reply.

            “I’ll show you.”

            Dinobot blinked at the hand, then reached out and gripped it, raising his gaze back to Rampage’s, nodding.

            I’m sorry, Hacker.

            What was that “something” that came up?

            It all has to do with one fact which I don’t think I can say. But first, will you promise not to say anything to anyone?

            Hacker read the screen, sighing. And replied. I promise. The next words shocked her.

            The Beast Wars were real. They happened. We were there, the six girls who you’ve noticed a change in, and the three boys. We participated on missions, got close to some of them. Sinead even risked her life for Dinobot. And they’re here. With us. On earth, in our time.

            Hacker swallowed, then asked, When will you let me come there?

            Chuckling, Sapphire looked over her shoulder, saying, “Can we let Hacker come over?”

            “Bring it on,” Sinead replied.

            When can you come?

            Within the week. The teachers at my school are on strike. Started yesterday.

            Then come when you can. Can you get a map from Mapquest?

            What’s the address?

            Sapphire gave it to her, then smiled at seeing Sinead’s face radiant and smiling while she was looking at Dinobot. Rattrap was still leaning with his back against the warrior’s but he was looking over his shoulder at Sapphire, who smiled back, letting him feel the complete love she felt for him.

            Things would be better.