My Last Breath

Author’s Note: Here I go again with my creativity streak! First a picture, then this! I’m on a roll! . . . I hope that it doesn’t run out anytime soon . . . Evanescence owns their songs, and Mainframe/Hasbro own Beast Wars, therefore, Dinobot. Now, if only I could figure out a way to try to convince them that he’s real . . . it’s not ethical to own someone, you know . . . but if there’s a chance of becoming friends . . . *shrugs, grins*

Hold on to me love
You know I can’t stay long
All I wanted to say was I love you and I’m not afraid

Dinobot closed and locked the door behind him, crumbling to his knees, and breathing heavily. The events of the past twenty-four hours were too much. The simple fact that Optimus had been killed, brought back to life, and then acted as if it had been nothing at all, was overwhelming. He looked to the mirror, seeing Sinead sitting at her computer, typing away furiously at the keys. He moved carefully, to see if her door was closed.

And so, it was.

He walked though silently, after verbally overriding the camera, turning it off. Rhinox wouldn’t be happy, but that was his own slagging problem. One little secret . . . okay, one large secret, especially this one of this younger, female, human warrior, wouldn’t kill anyone.

Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?

After checking the date again, (it was April 20, 2003), Sinead chuckled, as she was reading the next e-mail. It was a fellow author, who was a good friend as well. As she typed back, she occasionally looked to a sketch beside her. By the author’s description, it was there, in anime, as best as the girl could do, on limited descriptions. But the other author had been surprised with the similarity that had been shown in the first sketch. Sinead was now e-mailing the second draft to her. Once she hit the “send” key, Dinobot rested his hands upon Sinead’s shoulders. She didn’t jump, but instead turned to look up at him. She stood, and asked, “Are you okay, Dinobot?”

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself

He shook his head, then indicated the door. Sinead shook her head. “Nobody’s home.”

He sighed, and he sat on her bed, watching her reactions, as he said, “Primal was killed today. Wait! Let me finish.” The human sat back, as he continued. “Rattrap and Cheetor were given new bodies; we call them Transmetals. And Primal was revived. We have a new comrade, Silverbolt. He’s a slagging idiot. Doesn’t know scrap about how he should behave around senior warriors.” Dinobot looked up at Sinead. “But I couldn’t get my mind off of one question.”

“Tell me.”

“If . . . if I were to be killed, what would become of you? Who would tell you? That portal might not last past one of our deaths.”

Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

Sinead walked over to him, and sat next to him, watching his face. “I would go on, Dinobot. I would live my life, as you would have wanted me to. It would hurt, knowing that you were dead, but I would try my best to accept it. Dying is only another beginning. It’s the final test.”

“What do you mean?” Dinobot asked, curious.

“Imagine that your life is like a period of training. After you train in something, you usually have a test of some sort. I believe that life is one long training session, with it’s successes and defeats, but in the end, after all is said and done, after that, you find that some of the training will be put to use, after you die.”

I’ll miss the winter
A world of fragile things
Look for me in the white forest

Dinobot looked over at her dresser, with another mirror there, resting on top. There were no shadows dancing around within its depths, as the mirror that linked the two together, did. He sighed, and saw in the mirror, as Sinead took his hand in hers, and rubbed at his cold fingers. He sighed, and pulled his hand free, only to place it around her shoulders, looking down at her. She wrapped her arms around his torso, sighing, as she saw the scar upon his side. Biting her lip, she traced it, and then sighed, wrapping her arms tighter around him, trying not to let her emotions show.

Hiding in a hollow tree (come find me)
I know you hear me
I can taste it in your tears

Dinobot blinked, then looked down, as he felt a drop of wet rolled down one of the ribs upon his side. He smiled, seeing that, once again, she was crying. Attentively, he pulled her up closer to him, and wiped her tears away roughly, and yet, gently. She whispered something that he couldn’t hear, or understand, and Dinobot sighed. Then, without even meaning to, he dipped his head, and kissed one of the tears away. “Quiet, now, and tell me what I said wrong. You’ll be okay.”

Another sob was the answer, and Dinobot chuckled gently. It was that, that caused Sinead to look up, into his face, sadness forgotten. He smiled, but said nothing.

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself

Sinead allowed herself to be tucked closer to him, under his chin, and whispered, “I . . . my pet died recently, and I . . . I miss her.”

“Talk to me. You know that you can.”

“You wouldn’t approve of her.”

“Try me.”

“She was a rat.”

Dinobot laughed, surprising Sinead, and tugged on one of her bangs. She blinked at him in curiosity, and he smiled. “Just because I disagree with the Vermin on many things, and even though I dislike him, doesn’t mean that I do not like rats.”

“Really?”

“They taste good, especially when roasted.”

Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

Unable to hold in her laughter, Sinead held onto him tighter, then sighed, and said, “But I really don’t want to hear about death, whether it be hers . . . or yours.”

Dinobot nodded, and replied, “I know how that is. You, yourself, have had to deal with a lot of death, so that is understandable. However, you understand that death is inevitable, and that we all have to deal with it.”

“I know.”

Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here

The ex-Predacon sighed, and deactivated his optics. “I don’t want to have to lose you, Sinead, but I can feel that my time is growing closer. Don’t cry, please, but it is something that I know will happen.”

“How?”

“Hn?”

“How do you know?”

But still you wake and know the truth
No one’s there

Dinobot sighed again, and looked down at Sinead’s stormy-blue eyes. He sighed, and told her. “All Cybertronians know when, roughly, at what age, they will die. I knew that I wouldn’t make it to see my child, if I ever did have one, grow and mature to adulthood. It is, they say, a gift from the Matrix. I know that death will take me soon.”

“But . . . Dinobot, I don’t want you to die.”

“I know. It’s different, for you humans. Even for some Cybertronians. That is why we live for the present, for the now, so that we have no regrets.” He stood, holding her hands, still, as she sat, but didn’t break eye-contact. “I have to get back.”

Say goodnight
Don’t be afraid
Calling me calling me as you fade to black

She held onto his hands tighter, not letting go, as he started to walk away. He looked back at her, then pulled her to her feet, and asked, “Is there something else?”

“I don’t want you to die alone.”

“It isn’t for a while, Sinead.”

“Still, Dinobot . . .”

Holding my last breath
Safe inside myself

He sighed, and then nodded. “All right. But I don’t think that it would be wise for you to stay with me in my last moments. I . . . hn . . . I plan to go out fighting. It’s what I believe in, and I can guarantee you, that it will not be pretty.”

“But I want to be there.”

Slowly, he forced her to let go of his hands, but only embraced her, before turning towards the mirror. He looked back over his shoulder, at the human, who was watching him forlornly. He smiled, and then reached back over, handing her a piece of paper, saying, “Then you will be.”

Are all my thoughts of you
Sweet raptured light it ends here tonight

On the paper, was the message that he had left behind with his sword, when they had first met. She read them aloud, whispering . . .