Wake Me Up Inside
Author’s Note: This isn’t for those of you who are emotional, since it’s written with all my emotions packed into it. These are my thoughts. I don’t own Beast Wars, and Evenescence owns “Bring Me to Life.” I only use the inspiration, on a lonely Valentine’s Day, wondering what it would be like, to have someone to love on this day . . .
How
can you see into my eyes like open doors
Leading you down into my core where I’ve become so numb
Dinobot
curled up on his recharge bed, optics unseeing, as he listened to past regrets
of his grieved Spark. His whole being longed for someone . . . someone who he
couldn’t place a name for, but someone, nonetheless, who knew him. Someone,
who was inside his head, seeing every single move, hearing every thought,
feeling every emotion.
Without
a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it back home
A
girl shuddered, and pressed her hand to her chest, wincing as if she had
physical pain. She flung herself to her feet, and paced. Who was he? Who was
this person, who haunted her mind?
Wake
me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
Rattrap
watched the ex-Predacon pace as if he were a mad creature, beset by some odd
plague. He sighed, and looked at his hands. The Choppuhface deserved his
privacy. Rattrap turned off the small hidden camera.
The
girl looked out into the dark of night, starting to despair.
Bid
my blood to run
Before I come undone
Save me from the nothing I’ve become
The
warrior drew his sword, and started to move fluidly through his stances,
practicing, exercising body and mind, as he pondered over these strange
thoughts.
Now
that I know what I’m without
You can’t just leave me
A
form started to form within his mind, a feminine one, mimicking his movements,
running through the same exercises he was, thinking the same thoughts that he
was, wondering the same things he was.
The
girl stopped, as she looked into her mirror, and saw herself, with another, in
his arms, comfortable, calm, at peace, for the first time in what has felt like
years to her. Her mind had been coveted by grief for months now. Life was hard
for her, now, ever since . . . ever since the accident . . .
Breathe
into me and make me real
Bring me to life
Dinobot
was looking into the polished piece of metal that the other Maximals had called
their mirrors, all in their separate quarters. He saw a girl there, her dark
blue eyes even darker with sadness, but with a sadness that seemed to match his
own.
Wake me up inside
Wake me up inside
Call my name and save me from the dark
The
girl reached out towards the mirror, and brushed her hand against it, then
collapsed, sobbing, to the floor, her hair falling free around her shoulders.
Her hands were clasped into fists, one pressed to her forehead, the other
holding her up. Her mind was still trying to heal itself, after witnessing the
accident. It was still trying to become whole again, still trying to forget the
images that she would not let herself release.
Bid
my blood to run
Before I come undone
Dinobot
saw the girl fall, and frowned. He reached towards the mirror, then pulled his
hand back. He was afraid to see what could happen. He didn’t want to disturb
something that he had no power over, that could hurt the time-continuum more
that it already was, with the Maximals and Predacons there on Prehistoric Earth.
With
each body-racking sob, the girl hurt more. Her heart cried out, her soul wept,
for the life that had been taken on that fateful night, those months ago. With a
yell, knowing that she would awaken her mother, she pulled her fist as far back
as she could manage, and hit the mirror with all she could.
Dinobot
reached out, and his fingers grazed the sheet of metal.
Save
me from the nothing I’ve become
Bring me to life
The
girl fell through the mirror, and into Dinobot’s arms. She looked up, and saw
him, looking at her curiously. She blinked, but neither said anything. Dinobot
didn’t move, not wanting to scare her, as she was already frightened. But . .
. of what?
The
girl bowed her head, and sobbed quietly, as Dinobot watched her, ashamed of the
emotion she was portraying.
Dinobot
sighed, and touched a piece of wavy chestnut hair, and against all his
instincts, pulled her closer to him, cradling her, holding her close, as if he
could prevent what she was frightening her. As if he could stop her mind from
showing her the images of a man lying upon the pavement, a small stream of dark
blood slowly running downhill. As if he could erase from her mind, the sound of
tires screeching, and the sound of her own voice yelling.
Frozen
inside without your touch without your love darling
Only
you are the life among the dead
The
girl clung to him, seeing not a mechanical being, but one who was there to help,
there to comfort, there to bring her peace. She wanted to forget, but she wanted
to remember. She wanted to cling to his comfort, but she wanted to push him
away, saying that he doesn’t understand, that he doesn’t know what she had
been through. That he doesn’t remember seeing the man carried off of the
street, not knowing if he was living or dead.
Dinobot
held her a little tighter, and whispered the first word spoken between them.
“Cry.”
All
this time I can’t believe I couldn’t see
Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me
She
wept into his chest, wishing that he could see her pain. Not meaning to, not
even knowing that she was doing so, she started to speak, telling him of her
pain. When all was said, the Maximal asked, “Who was driving?”
And
she answered, “My father.”
He
sighed, and cradled her closer. The girl’s head rested against his chest,
listening to two separate beats . . . one of his mech-pump, the other of . . .
of his Spark. She closed her eyes, and sighed, letting herself fall into the two
sounds of life. She let them clear her mind, focusing upon the two alone, and
started to hear a third beat.
Her
own heart-beat.
I’ve
been sleeping a thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Dinobot
felt her start to fall asleep, and he cradles her more gently, looking into her
face. It was still pained, but a peace now surrounded her. He carefully looked
at her right hand, which had broken the mirror. Not one scrape marred her skin.
Not one bruise was starting to form.
He
looked up at the mirror, and then whispered, “You have to return.”
Her
voice was tired. “I know.”
“Please,
tell me your name.”
“Sinead.”
Without
a thought without a voice without a soul
Don’t let me die here
There must be something more
He
looked at her, meeting her gaze unexpectedly. Her cobalt-blue eyes pleaded with
his, not to let her go. He twisted a strand of her hair around a finger, then
sighed. Her arms went up to wrap around his neck. He buried his face in her
hair, and asked, “What is the date, in your time?”
“February
14, 2003,” she replied, not moving. “Valentine’s Day.” Her voice faded
off, and she fell into slumber.
Dinobot
stood, and held her like a child against his chest, cradling her like an infant.
He looked at the mirror, and then stepped forward, expecting to bounce off, as
he would, if he ever came into contact with any ordinary physical object.
Yet,
he went through, into her room. He looked at his feet, and saw not one shard of
glass. He walked across her room, and placed her on her bed, then pulled her
sheets around her, sighing. He touched her cheek tenderly, then reached into his
sub-space pocket, and drew his sword. He saw a paper and pencil upon her desk,
and wrote a few words, then placed the sword reverently next to the note, and
with one last look at the girl, and smiling gently at her sleeping form, walked
back through the mirror.
Bring me to life