By: Lady Venom
I closed my eyes, I just did not want to see the look on Cheetra and Michelles’
face when they saw him. At the last possible second, I turned to Rampage and
hissed,
"Why can’t you act normally for just this once? Goddess, this would be
sooo much easier if you were human!"
when the robot simply blinked at me, I sighed in defeat, and turned to watch my
friends as they had a heartattack. Michelle was the first one inside, she
glanced at him then went straight for the shower, while Cheetra went to the
fridge, opening a can of Vanilla Coke. I looked over to the shocked Rampage, to
make sure he was still there, then back to Cheetra.
"Uh…Cheets, don’t you notice anything, um… different?" I
suddenly realized that Starath and Michael had fallen silent, listening in to
her reaction.
She glanced at Rampage, then at me, "Yeah, one of your dates followed you
home."
Despite the situation I blushed at the inside joke, then moved to the kitchen in
order to talk to her privately. "Look at him, what do you see?"
She looked at Rampage, who was finally cleaning the yogurty mess off of his
head, then back at me.
"A very hot muscled guy, early twenties, really dark complexion, almost no
hair –and what he does have is black and curly-. Oh! And he has a really sweet
tribal tattoo on his left arm." She smiled and pointed to the coffee
flavored goo on the wood floor. "I thought we told you no foreplay in the
living room?"
I smacked her arm lightly, but smirked at the thought.
Ack! Dirty thought!
She took my flustered face for another reason and sipped the pop thoughtfully,
"Me and ‘Elle were going to out, but now." She peeked over my
shoulder, to where I could hear Rampage still talking to Micheal, "I think
we should all have supper to get to know your new flavor better."
The years of teasing her and Danny have come back to kick my karmic ass.
Leaving, I went back to Rampage, sitting in front of the computer, I waited
until Cheetra had left before talking.
"Why do they see a human? Apparently he’s really hot."
"Obviously." I heard Rampage scoff from beside me. Ye gods, gloat
much?
Starath seemed just as perplexed, "I don’t know LV, I see only Rampage,
so do you and Megs. Maybe it’s a fan thing?"
I heard Micheal snicker, "So Miss Venom, what’s on he menu for
tonight."
"Well, ‘Elle’s a vegetarian, I’m trying hard to be one too…damn
chicken…so it’ll be mostly veggies except for probably some pork for Cheetra."
I looked at Rampage, who was seething.
"So I guess it’s time for an explanation." He crossed his arms and
looked down at me, which is really annoying I might add.
"Okay, at around…ohh, 11 am this morning, I took a quiz about you guys
and the Beast Wars, the computer crashed before I knew who I was most qualified
to be with. Five hours later, I get this letter," I hand it to him, pausing
as he reads it over. "It says that I originally chose to host someone else,
but you were chosen instead. Which, come to think of it, I am curious as to who
I should’ve had."
I watched the letter as it floated to the floor, and looked up at the crab
curiously.
"Fine, so I have been sent here by some divine invisible group of people
because they think we match?"
I pointed to my favorite red hiking boots / sneakers that were still on my feet,
and then to my red T-shirt I was wearing. "Well, we do kinda match."
When he growled at me I threw my arms up in frustration.
"What? You think I’m gonna enjoy this too? I’ve got a date with
Jonathan tomorrow night."
"You do?"
I turned to Michelle, who was pulling her hair up into a towel. I turned back to
the computer, saying goodbye to Starath and Micheal before closing MSN and
trying to divert the insane ones’ attention away from Rampage.
"Uh, yeah he asked me out yesterday at work."
She stared at me, "He knows where you work? Shouldn’t you be
worried?"
I gave her a duh look, "He knows where I work because he works with me. Doi."
"Doi?"
I shrugged, "It’s my word of the year, baka was getting old, and didn’t
apply to everything like doi does."
She looked back at Rampage, who was surprisingly, behaving. Which made me
suspicious, but then again, maybe Megatron threatened him or something. One
could only hope.
"So…what’s your name?" She looked at Rampage.
"I am Ra –" I stomped on his foot, obviously not causing pain, but
buying me time to think up a real name.
"His name is uh.. is…" Think! What could fit into what he
started…oh! "His name is Raphael."
She looked him up and down, god I hated when she did that, I could hear Rampage
sputter from beside me.
"Yup his name is Raphael, and we’re leaving now, bye."
She pulled out a frozen package of veggie lasagna, plopping it onto the
cupboard.
"Oh, I thought Cheetra said we were having supper together. Besides,"
She pushed me away from the door, smiling. "That way we can get to know
your friend better."
He’s not my friend, he’s a killer that will rip us to shreds given the
chance. I looked at Rampage, who was poking the now revealed lasagna curiously.
"What is this? A form of weaponry?"
I snickered, "The way Cheetra cooks it could be."
"I heard that!"
Touchy!…
"Look uh…Raph, just go sit down on the couch, here’s the remote, now
watch television and please, please don’t destroy anything."
He gave that psychotic grin of his at my fear, but remained civil. He turned on
the T.V after I explained how it worked, and instantly was drawn to a show on
the history channel about WWII. I left to help Michelle with supper.
"Okay, I’ll prepare the chicken for me and Cheets, hand me that lemon
will ya?"
"How do you know him? I mean, he really doesn’t seem like your type. Can
you get me a knife from the drawer?"
I passed her the large chopping knife, and started to squirt some lemon juice
onto the chicken, throwing it into the skillet.
"Well, we kinda bumped into each other, I knew him a while ago. And no,
I’m not dating him. Are you sure that lettuce is fresh?"
She ripped off the one wilted leaf, and gave me a look, "Better? Okay, but
he looks like he belongs in some kind of jail," Rampage laughed
hysterically from the living room when this one war veteran explained what
happened to him at a POW camp. "Or an institute."
I groaned. Why couldn’t they have sent me Depth Charge? Or maybe Waspinator?
Clutz’s I can handle, and at least Depth Charge knew how to behave. Why oh why
did they have to send him to me now? Just when life was finally starting to look
up? I shook my head and moved around the chicken, adding some of the vegetables
Michelle had chopped up for me.
"So where’s he staying? Close by, or is this just a one time visit?"
I stopped. Realizing that he would have to stay here, with us, where we slept…
Dear Goddess we won’t survive the night…
"Um, well, he kinda needs a place to live for a while, while he looks for a
job and apartment." Okay, plausible enough. "He can sleep out here, on
the couch." I looked at her, a pleading look in my eyes. She held up her
hands in defense, "Hey, don’t give me that look honey, it’s not me you
gotta convince, it’s Cheetra."
"I’ll tell her after supper." I concluded, flipping the chicken,
causing Michelle to wrinkle her nose. But she always held her tongue, thankfully
not imposing her ways on those who didn’t want it.
"I know, I know, don’t worry I’m almost done." She simply
shrugged.
Cheetra came out, having changed into a pair of jeans and a tiny black shirt on
it that said ‘Little Miss Bitch’ and I remembered how much controversy Penny
had made of the shirt. She sat down on the couch, right beside Rampage. I
watched carefully to see if he made any sudden movement, when he didn’t I
watched even closer, not trusting the crab at all. But when She actually
suggested a different show, and he agreed, I relaxed. Satisfied that he wasn’t
going to be slaughtering anyone tonight.
I grabbed the dishes, and began lifting the food onto the green plates. Goddess
I hated when it was my turn to cook.
"Alright, come and get it."
Rampage looked up and over at us as the three of us began grabbing food onto the
plates. Finally getting some energy to get up he lumbered over to us. Great, a
couch crab, just what our cable bill needed.
"Get what?" He asked suspiciously.
Cheetra looked at him funny before pointing to the plates before him.
"It’s food…that’s mashed potatoes, that’s lasagna, and that’s
lemon spiced chicken. Take what you want. Water, milk and pop is in the
fridge."
I took his plate and loaded up on the lasagna and chicken for him, praying that
he liked something. I watched him dig in with his fingers and pick up the piece
of chicken, taking it in with one bite. I quickly handed him a fork, and
explained that the fork picks the food up, and that you use it to shovel the
food into your mouth. I forced myself to stop laughing at the sight of such a
tiny fork in his big hands. But of course, that’s not what my friends saw,
which made me look like the fool.
After finally eating everything we had cooked, Rampage sat down, seemingly
content. And he should’ve been. He ate over half the large lasagna, four
pieces of chicken and a small bowl of mashed potatoes, and ate some chocolate
ice cream! The lout should look content!
But of course, now the fun starts.
"Cheets, ah… can I ask you something?" I closed the door to her room
behind me as I entered. "Well, ya see Ramp… I mean Raph needs a place to
stay and I thought that he could stay with us. Michelle already said she
doesn’t mind, so the last veto is up to you." I paused, waiting while she
thought it over, knowing that she was making me nervous.
Finally though, she grinned. "’Course he can stay, he’ll be a great
clubbing friend." I grinned widely and ran over to hug my friend.
"Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou." I thanked her some more before
leaving, passing ‘Elle in the hallway.
"So I guess we’ve got our first houseguest huh?"
I nodded, and went into the living room, realizing that the girls would be out
here using the computer, with Rampage. Alone. I walked out to find him watching
television again.
"You. Up. Follow me."
He didn’t even look up, "You presume to tell me what to do?"
"Oh bull, I’ll always presume to order you, you’re my houseguest! Now.
Move!"
Well, whatever Megatron said must’ve been harsh, because he just took crap
from me and didn’t try to blow me up. Two points for me. I led him to my room,
pointed to the double bed and then to the little sofa on the side.
"I sleep here, you sleep there, any sudden movements on your behalf and
your ass is grass."
He grumbled, but sat down, shoving my stuffed animals onto the floor in order to
get more space, and found the remote to my little TV
Great, day one is over, tomorrow is Friday and I have school, a date, and a
killer crab to worry about….Just…Peachy….
The television blared to life on an old Humphry Bogart movie. Loudly…
Oh yeah, karma loves me….