Rattrap Vs Dinobot
By: Sharpshot
Throughout the ages there have been infinite numbers of cataclysmic, monumental battles between 2 titans:
Bush Vs Hussain
Sliced Bread Vs Microsoft
Sponge Vs Towel
Sharpshot
Vs
However none of which have been as equaled in terror and power as
DINOBOT VS RATTRAP!
It was perfectly normal day on Prehistoric Earth, however little did the Transformers know that this day would be the powerful confrontation between DINOBOT AND RATTRAP. However the fact their fights were very frequent suggest that a normal day usually involved Dinobot and Rattrap at each other throats, so this leads us to believe this probably was a very normal day indeed.
Being a Saturday morning most of the Maximals were slowly stirring from the hangovers of Friday night. As usual Optimus was still in bed with the shutters closed trying to drown out the constant screams “Big Bot. Big Bot we’re out of cheese doodles WHAT’LL WE DO WHAT’LL WE DO” in his head, Rhinox was gingerly crawling about his room trying to brew some coffee, Silverbolt had gotten up at 6:30 being the only Maximal big enough of a nerd not to stay up all Friday night, Cheetor had his eyes glued to the Monitors watching Saturday Morning cartoons, yes even before human civilization the evil essence of Saturday morning cartoons still existed and surprisingly adverts accompanied them, but what they advertised is a mystery, and Dinobot and Rattrap were sitting at the main console eating a breakfast of Energon-Os. However little did they know this peaceful situation was about to turn as sour as the milk they were using.
“YUCK! This milks sour!” Rattrap yelled, choking on a spoonful of Energon-Os.
“Don’t look at me Vermin! You’re the one who always leaves the fridge door open.” Dinobot snarled.
“Me! You’re the one who’s always scoffing your face!”
“I’m a growing bot!”
“Growing fat more like!”
“Why you little!” Dinobot screeched and began strangling Rattrap, who let out muffled cries. Yet before any real havoc could begin Silverbolt walked in, took a deep breath and bellowed in his best hero voice.
“Fellow Maximals! You can not begin fighting without first warning our readers of the violence that will soon follow. We have younger readers out there who may be upset by this fic…” But before he could finish Dinobot and Rattrap glanced at each other and punched Silverbolt square in the face. The 2 nodded at each other and with smiles on their faces they waltzed off. Unfortunately the 2 soon remembered they were in the middle of a fight and ran back into each other and began a staring contest.
“You did it!”
“You did it!”
“You did it!”
They both yelled for an hour or so however so much shouting they had to take a few breaths before they could resume
“You…did…..i…t!”
“You…..ahh screw it” Dinobot began and proceeded to slap Rattrap across the face.
“You slapped me!” Rattrap retorted.
“Yes…Yes I did,” Dinobot smirked.
“YAHHHHH!” Rattrap screeched as he pulled his foot down on Dinobot’s. Dinobot winced, grabbed his foot and began hopping about in pain. Soon Dinobot retorted grabbed a bowl of Energon-Os and smashed it on Rattraps head. After much bellowing Rattrap he soon gathered himself together and pulled up the coffee pot preparing to hit Dinobot however Rhinox immediately burst in and yelled.
“DO NOT EVEN THINK OF SMASHING THAT POT OF COFFEE!”
Dinobot and Rattrap’s face soon became full of fear and Rattrap handed over the coffee to Rhinox with a trembling hand.
After a while the shock wore off and the 2 turned to each other.
“Where were we Chopper face?”
“I think you were about to hit me!”
“Oh yeah,” Rattrap chuckled and punched Dinobot right in the nose.
“Ahhhh…I shouldn’t have said that….” Dinobot moaned but before he could swipe at Rattrap the small bot had transformed to beast mode and began scurrying off down the ship.
“Come back Cheese eater!” Dinobot roared and also transformed chasing after Rattrap. The 2 scurried along down the dark corridors of the ship, tripping over boxes and other junk: scrap metal, bottles, Silverbolt…, till eventually they reached the Maximal Kitchen. Yes they have a Kitchen. What you think Transformers don’t eat? What’s the matter with you?
Rattrap burst through the kitchen doors that swung on week hinges and smashed into the skull of Dinobot. Rattrap clambered up onto the long counter top and ducked and weaved through the hanging pots and pans. Dinobot skidded after Rattrap and unfortunately tripped and crashed along the counter top slamming his head into every single pan. Rattrap couldn’t help himself stop and laugh. Unfortunately this allowed Dinobot to gain his postured and loom over Rattrap bearing his teeth.
“Eeep!”
Dinobot lunged his head crashing down into the floor and ripping up all the grating. Rattrap only had moments to avoid the blow, however Dinobot soon slammed his tail down onto Rattrap’s spine.
“Ow that really hurt.”
“Really?”
“NO!” Rattrap yelled and bit down on Dinobot’s foot. Dinobot screeched.
Meanwhile outside the base the Predacons were busy setting up their next evil deed.
“YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS” Megatron laughed. Yet the rest of the Predacons just stared blankly at their leader.
“Eh, My Queen you haven’t told us the plan….you just went yyyeeesss.” Inferno perked up.
“Oh…..oh well BEHOLD! The mighty weapon that will ensure victory for the Predacons and destroy the Maximals…” There was a long silence.
“Waspinator you fool show us the weapon!” Megatron bellowed.
“BzZz Waspinator have no weapon…BZzZ.Waspinator just have net…BzZz”
“That’s the weapon you fool!”
“That’s the great weapon??!!” Tarantulas gasped
“Yes”
“But…But???”
“The way I see it the more complicated the weapon the easier it is destroy. So the simpler it is the harder it is destroy”
Tarantulas ran his hand over his face.
“Set it up!” Megatron ordered.
Suddenly Rampage let out a blood curling scream. All the Predacons slowly turned and stared at him.
“What? I wanted to get at least one line in this fic.” Rampage then turned and shot Waspinator, still the Predacons stared.
“He was gonna get shot anyway.”
Back inside Rattrap had taken refuge in a rather large mouse hole.
“Hmm where have I seen this before…aha!” Dinobot thought and dragged in a rather large mouse trap outside the hole.
Rattrap soon spotted the cheese and licked his chops.
“So Hungry….even though I have no stomach….oh well.” Rattrap darted out from the hole and bit into the cheese.
“Hmmmm Frenchy…” Unfortunately this brought the huge blade onto Rattrap’s back.
Dinobot beamed however soon looked disappointed. The blade had just trapped Rattrap, not cut him.
“Hello, I’m a Robot, metal. Jees, idiot.”
Dinobot slumped and began moping. Rattrap soon squirmed out of the trap and leaped into the main control room. Dinobot rammed into him and the 2 fell through the port hole and landed outside the base. Immediately the net fell on them both and Megatron boomed with laughter.
“YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IT WORKED!” Megatron cheered “…oh” Megatron moaned as during his celebration Rattrap and Dinobot had already ran off and continued pummeling each other.
As the 2 finally stopped hitting each other and gave into exhaustion they collapsed and stared into the sky.
“Ya know Chopper face…I guess you're right…”
Dinobot blinked and immediately guessed he should agree.
“Yes as always.”
Dinobot and Rattrap stared at each other and said in unison:
“What were we fighting about again?”