8.April.06

Power of Love

By: Blackbolt52003

            Hello.  I waved.  How do you do?  The boy just looked at me strangely, as if I were some kind of fungus.  Well, you can’t expect anything else, considering that I’m dead mute and not a lot of people know sign language.

            He walked away and I slumped onto a chair, totally depressed.  Maria, the supervisor, sat down next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.  I froze and edged away.  I’m not used to emotional contact with people.  It’s just the way I am.

            She looked at me sadly.  “Erika, you ok?”  I shook my head, and walked towards my backpack, grabbing out my inhaler and using it.  Yep.  To add to my total discomfort of being a mute, God had to make me have asthma too, didn’t he?

            Leave me alone.  I want to be alone.  I signed to her.  But Maria, being stupid like the world is and not bothering to learn sign language even though half the day-care uses it, misunderstands because she never did bother trying to go to sign language class.  She tried to give me a hug, but I dodged her arms and quickly opened the door, running out into the hallway.

            Just once, I want to be able to accept any love anyone gives me.  Yeah right.  Like that’ll ever happen.  Ever since my mom dumped me on the day-care’s doorstep and left her 5-month-old child without looking behind, I’ve pretty much stayed away from any hugs or kisses.

            I hate my mom!  I hate my dad!  Where was he when she dumped me?  I know child abandoning is against the law and so do they!  They have to!  Everyone in the world should know!  It’s not fair…

            I see children going home with their parents before the day-care closes.  In day-care, they say they wished they were like a loner, an orphan, with no one to boss me around and me.  Well, it’s not like that.  I have people trying to adopt me all the time and I always have to hide.  I’m scared.  That they’ll take me away and never let me come back.

            Why am I so attached to this place?  Well, because behind it is a forest and whenever I feel upset, I go there and try to find mom.  No, not a human mom.  An animal mom.  I’ve given up on humans a long time ago.  Now, I can only find comfort in them.

            I ran out the back door, slamming it behind me and rushing into the forest where I tried to find mom.  Baby animals looked up at me curiously as I slowed down and rested against a tree.  They’re young and some of them have lost their parents.  I can relate to the experience.  But…they’re still so lucky.

            They still have someone to take care of them.  Even though their parents are gone, I bet they realize that their parents sacrificed themselves for their children and…I wish I could have that too.

            Being an orphan isn’t very nice.  You can’t take care of yourself or feed yourself if you’re young because you don’t know how.  But these baby animals…  I picked up one in my hands.  They…they have relatives.

Me?  I’ll never know if…God put me into this world to make me suffer, to watch me suffer.  I watched the baby squirrel jump off my hands to go to his aunt who washed his face and chided him for getting so dirty.

            I began breathing abnormally but as I patted my pockets for my inhaler, I remembered that I left it at the day-care.  Tears began pouring out of my face.  Mom…  Where was she?  Suddenly, I felt a nuzzling on my cheek.

            Mom!  Mom, a she-wolf lay down and closed her eyes, inviting me to sleep with her.  I did, gratefully.  My abnormal breathing started to get better.  I buried my face in her fur and started crying.

            I was all alone in this world, but someone, someone up there had given me friends down here.  As my vision clouded over because of my tears, I smiled and began to think wonderful things.

            I won’t be alone anymore.  Because now, I realize how powerful the power of love is.  I sniffed, and curled up against mom.

            I love you, mom.  I signed to her.  Most people would think that this is weird, signing sign language to an animal, but somehow, I think mom understands what I’m saying through my body language.

            She nuzzled my check once more and licked me lightly.  I smiled and closed my eyes.  Thank you, mom.