- Runner-up for Best Co-written Fic '04

Megatron's Nightmare

By: Erik the Viking, Domie, Wicked Woman and Rakshash

(PG - some foul BW language)

Rattrap was having a pleasant stroll through the savannah.  The sky was clear, the sun was warm on his back, the grass was knee length but that did not trouble him as ticks did not like the taste of metal.  He was on scout patrol but for once he was glad for it, because it was such a nice day he didn't want to spend it fixing broken hatches and machines inside the base.

Another bot that day was having a stroll, but for different reasons.  Megatron seldom left the base unless he had to, but his bath was being cleaned by Inferno and he needed to get out and away from the bumbling idiots that were his troops.  He also needed to ponder, and if he could not ponder in his bath, a pleasant walk outside in the fresh air would have to do.

It just so happened that these two bots chose paths that would end up meeting each other, and they were both so engrossed in their thoughts that they nearly collided.

"Vermin!"

"Grape face!"

They stared.

"What are you doing here?" Megatron asked suspiciously.

"Looking for snakes and I found you!"  Rattrap replied

"I could kill you now if I needed to."

"And I could save your great purple butt if I needed to but I'm not goin' to," Rattrap answered.

"What are you talking about?" said Megatron

"Well if ya don't know it, right behind ya is da most dangerous snake on dis planet, it's fifteen feet tall an' it has a poison that'll melt yer metal!"

"You're trying to trick me, aren't you?" said Megatron.

"Well if ya think so just bend over," said Rattrap.  "Look between yer legs, an' ya don't have ta kiss your skidplate goodbye, an' then see if I'm lyin' ta you."

Megatron did it.  And then slowly, slowly, raised himself up.  He was still about three times the height of the rat but his eyes had a new respect.

"That thing is about to take me out and you warned me about it.  Why?"

"Because I'm da good guy, an' da good guys only kill when we have ta.  An' I was just tryin' ta save yer butt, even though it's a great hairy spotty purple blot on da landscape."

There was a pause. 

Megatron said:  "There's still a snake behind me."

Rattrap looked at him and said:  "Yes there is and now I'm gonna leave because I've warned you about it an' you know dat it's there."

Rattrap grinned at Megatron, turned and sauntered off.  He stopped, turned back and said:  "I suggest you don't move for a long time.  Snakes only have to eat every six weeks, and if you move, this one might think that, well, why wait six weeks when I can have a meal now?"

Megatron glared at him.  "Yesss, I see your plan," he said.  "You're trying to trap me!"

Rattrap smirked at him.  "Then go on an' move and see what happens."

"I'll think about it,” said Megatron.

The rat turned, grinning to himself and left without looking back.  He knew he was still standing there, because he would have heard if he'd moved. 

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"Where've you been vermin?" said Dinobot.

"Nowhere," said Rattrap.

"Well then why have you got such a silly grin on your face?" he asked.

"Um, because I got da purple dinosaur ta have second thoughts about whether he should keep on pursuing us or jus' stay where he is."

"I don't know what you are talking about," said Dinobot.  "Don't talk in riddles, tell me what you have done!"

Rattrap sighed.  "I haven't done anythin'.  I just found Megatron, told him there was a snake behind him an' luckily didn't scare da slag outta him or da snake would've been dead.  But he is frozen to da spot wonderin' whether there is a snake on dis planet dat can actually poison metal monsters which is what he is.  As a rat I know about snakes, which is why I hardly ever use my beast mode when I'm down here."

Dinobot stared at him.  "Where is he?"

"Oh, not far from here."

"Well let's get him while we can!"

The rat looked at him and said: "Look, I'm tired, an' as usual it is a very simple plan.  I suggest we go an' take out everybody else, while he's still stuck there worrying about da snake."

"I'll speak to Optimus said Dinobot, despite your small size and tiny brain, you might have a point."

It has been a full hour while Megatron stood there, debating whether or not there was actually a snake with poison that can melt the metal right off his gears. He thought to himself:   "If I am to move, I'll become energon soap or if I stay here a while longer, it will go away but how would I know because I CAN'T move!?!?!” Was it worth the try? The chances of him living were about 50/50 but what if? He sighed irritably; this was going to take a while.

Back at GGC (Good Guy Central). Dinobot stood in Optimus's office, explaining the whole Megatron situation, along with listing the optional plans of taking over Pred central with Megatron being absent. The transmetal ape listened carefully, taking in what was being said to the full extent but the whole thing seemed to be like a joke, but then again, this was Megatron they were talking about... Sure Megatron had a lot of power but it was the brains he lacked.

Optimus took his turn to speak after Dinobot was finished. "You and I know that no matter how stupid Megatron might be, he will realize that he has been tricked." The commander went into deep thought, "But if we were to take over the Predacon base, and Megatron were not to realize what was going on..." He smirked as he looked over to Dinobot who nodded in return.

"We will be in control of the Predacons and win the Beast Wars," the prehistoric reptile added.

With that, Optimus pressed the button to his comlink.

<<Optimus>> To all Maximals, this is Optimus. I would like to meet everyone in the Command Center to discuss an important matter. I expect everyone to be there in one cycle. Optimus out.

Megatron was taking no chances.  The snake was still, but could rise up at any moment.  He reached slowly into his sub-space pocket and took out his spare rubber duck.  He energized it immediately and having been enclosed for so long it was hugely hungry.  It looked balefully at the snake.  "Over-sized worm; that'll make a nice snack!" it thought.

Megatron watched as it took two huge waddles and swallowed the snake.

"Yesss," he said.

"I'll have to take you back to the bathroom, but you won't be in the bath for a while until you get rid of the remnants of that snake.  Thank you, my little yellow friend."

Megatron yawned.  He had been standing, frozen, for a long time.  One thing it does for you, he thought, is give you energy.  I was going to kill that snake myself.  In fact I should have, but now I will deal with that smirking monkey and his vermin friend.  I've got an idea...   Come on my little ducky friend!  We will speak to Tarantulas and see if we cannot clone an army of energon-infused ravenous rubber ducks to sneak into the Axalon and infest those complacent Maximals.  They will never try another snake trick on me, no."

It has been a very long time since Megatron, their so called Leader, has returned from his little trip to the pathetic wild life that lies beyond their volcanic landscape, (so totally not a Predacon thing to do). Without their leader here to sit there and tell them what to do because seriously, they didn’t know what to really do even though a very panicked Inferno suggested that they should find their "Queen" before the "Colony" has their heads. Yeah, like they really wanted to find their leader THAT badly. There was only one thing for them to do.... Duh, time to PARTY!!!

An old earthling disco tune by the name of "Celebration" filled the Darkside as the Predacons danced with glee, except Inferno, who was busy sulking in the corner of the room.

After his flawless victory over the so-called "deadly poison melting" snake, Megatron and his yellow rubber ducky friend, whom is now called Daisy, strolled into Tarantulas's secret lair. Secret? That’s an understatement; there ain't nothing secret about it, just a nice big hole in the middle of nowhere, such a big secret.

Tarantulas was busy working on something until he was interrupted by a loud burp, and then followed by a scolding Megatron, "Daisy, that’ll be the last time I make you eat a 16 foot long snake, you're going to have gas for the rest of the slaggin' day," said the transmetal tyrant as the little rubber duck in his hand burped yet again. A pretty freaked out Tarantulas decided it was time to say something before this got out of hand.

"Sorry to interrupt your little chat, Megatron, but I have to ask what your sorry excuse of existence is doing in my lair," the spider said with his arms crossed over his chest and his chair leaned back a bit, staring an imaginary hole through Megatron to get an answer.

Megatron snorted at the spider’s statement " If I were you Tarantulas, I would be careful of what I say because it would result in something very dreadful, yesss." Tarantulas just rolled his optics at his leader, not really feeling threatened. "Whatever, but that still doesn’t answer my question," he said, wanting to get this whole thing over and done with.

Megatron just simply placed Daisy on the control panel of Tarantulas's computer/monitor. He smiled to the spider. "I am here to ask of you a simple little favor, Tarantulas.  All I want you to do is create an army of rubber ducks that shoot laser beams from their eyes," the leader explained.

Tarantulas sat there, with wide optics.  Was he hearing this correctly? An army of rubber ducks that shoot laser beams from their eyes?   Was Megatron sniffing something before he came here?  He looked at the little rubber duck that sat there on his control panel, then at Megatron. He laughed nervously and then replied: "You have got to be kidding me! An army of rubber ducks that shoot laser beams from their eyes. This is all you wanted to ask me?" the spider said, his voice full of disbelief and his facial expression full of shock.  Megatron smiled an evil smile to him and nodded. "Yes Tarantulas, I am being serious," he said as he walked around to the other side of Tarantulas's chair and stroked his rubber ducky's head lovingly. The duck squeaked in response. "An army of rubbery ducks that shoot laser beams from their eyes has got to be one of the Predacons' biggest advantages, think about it. We can take over the Maximals and plus have the Beast Wars won. Personally, I think it's a very good idea, yessss," he said as he looked over to Tarantulas, "And with the Beast Wars won, you could do whatever you want without worrying about being shot at," he added in as he leaned in to be face to face with the spider and extended his hand. "Are you with me or not?”

The spider stared into his leader's optics for a while, looking to be as though in deep thought but that didn’t last for long as the spider shoock his leaders hand, "All right, I'll do it but only under one condition..." he said. " And that would be?" Megatron asked.

Tarantulas giggled insanely but stopped when Megatron gave him a weird look. "I want in return a full batch of energon cookies with energon milk and also a picture of Brittany Spears, man that fleshy is hot," Tte spider said as he giggled like a schoolgirl yet again. Megatron started at him with complete disgust but as long as the spider was on his side and was willing to do what he wants then it's all right. "You've got a deal, yessss."

Finally, it was time to take over the Maximals and have the Beast Wars won once and for all.

Megatron had underestimated the snake. That snake was like every other snake, and had a large family, and despite everybody thinking that snakes were not close, families of snakes got very upset when one of their members were eaten. 

'They think they can just come down to our planet, with carnivorous ducks and take over? Haven't they read the book? The first man that came here and his wife Eve were tricked by us and we can get these twits as well."

"Which idiots?" hissed someone in the serpentine audience. 

"Predacons, Maximals, I don't care. We'll get them all!" replied the king snake.

His wife slithered over to him. She was the most beautiful snake of all.
"How are we going to do this?" she asked.

"We need every snake to join together for once and realize the only thing we have in common is that we don't have legs!"

All the snakes cheered and then said: "Why?"

"Because we were punished! For giving a piece of fruit to a silly human who took a bite and it wasn't an apple, despite what everyone thinks! It was a piece of special fruit that only grew in the Garden of Eden and that fruit still has its power. With the secret fruit, (the name of which we will keep a secret among ourselves) we will use it to rid our planet of these horrific metal monsters. And their ducks! Especially their ducks, in fact as long as we get rid of the ducks we'll be all right. But let's not take any chances. Get rid of all of them!"

A small brown rat, hidden from their gaze in the rafters, had watched the entire slithery performance.

"If snakes take over, my butt will be bacon. I have to tell Rattrap!"

Both Megatron and the Snake colony had their plans all figured out, except for some others who need to get their heads together and think.

It was late afternoon when all the Maximals got themselves together and gathered in the Command Center, wondering what the heck was up with this "important" news. Optimus waited a bit, listening to his fellow Maximals blabber but that didn't last long when the leader let out a loud cough to shut everyone up, and it did: dead silence.

Optimus took a deep breath and began, "You have all been wondering why your here." He watched as the Maximals nodded and continued. "And to answer that, I have been told a rather very interesting story by Dinobot that one of us..." He glared at Rattrap who in return snickered, "Has bumped into Megatron and forced him to believe that there was a huge snake with poison that can melt the metal right off his  gears, which indeed is not true, and now it appears that Megatron is in a tight situation to where he can't move one inch or else...." Before he could finish, he was rudely interrupted by huge fits of laughter coming from each Maximal, even Dinobot.

Rhinox was leaning on the edge of the command table to keep from falling, Rattrap and Cheetor were already on the floor, Dinobot was just standing there laughing, and Silverbolt was flat out confused.

"Why would Megatron, or anybody for that fact, fall for such a childish lie? I don't even understand why we should be having a meeting that makes absolutely no sense," the Bird dog said, which caused even more laughter.

Rattrap slowly got up from the floor, took a deep breath and started to explain to the confused Silverbolt.  "Use ya brain for once Bird-Dog, dat pile of slag Megatron is so stupid and gullible to believe or disbelieve anything that has been said to him an' ta add to dat, wit out Megatron der to order da other Preds around, dey will do nottin' but stand der like mindless drones which gives us da biggest advantage to attack an' take over those sorry excuses of space junk an' plus win' da Beast Wars. And dat's the reason why our Fearless leader wanted to talk to us about it...ain't I right Big-Banana?" he finished with a satisfied smile on his face, which was returned by the completely speechless and shocked faces of each Maximal.

"Well that’s just Prime, it looks like Rattrap explained the rest of what I had to say," said a very shocked Optimus.

Cheetor decided to have his say, "Are you sure it's a good idea to attack the Preds, Big Bot? I mean, what if Megatron finds out that he's been tricked, what then?"

"Yes, Optimus. What are your plans going to be if that happens? Oh wait, by the look on you face, it seems as if you don’t have one," stated Dinobot, who had a tiny smile on his face knowing that Optimus didn't think about that.

Optimus blinked; he really didn't have much time to think that possibility over, and he never really thought of Megatron being the one to figure things out that quickly, but yet Dinobot really did hit the spot that time. It was time to think and quick. "Well, ummmm. We attack them anyways!!!"

Every single Maximal's jaw dropped. Were they hearing this correctly?

"So you're saying, that no matter what happens, we attack the Predacons anyway?" said Rhinox.

The leader nodded "Yes, no matter what. We attack with what we got."

This completely tipped Dinobot off his rocker, " ARE YOU MAD PRIMAL!?!?!?!? DECISIONS LIKE THAT CAN GET A BOT KILLED!! USE YOUR HEAD!!!" Snapped the warrior as he is about ready to rip Optimus's head off until...

A small brown rat came falling from the vents above and landed hard on the command table. They all started at the rat for a bit until it started to move.

The rat known as Oscar lifted his head up from the table and examined each of the Maximals, and without fear, he spoke up. "Hey everybody, sorry for busting in like this but I'm looking for Rattrap. Has anyone seen him? I have something important to tell him!!" The Maximals looked wide opticed at the rodent; did they just hear it talking?

Rattrap walked up to the table, ignoring the fact that everyone was staring at him and the little rat, "I'm right here buddy," he said has he picked his rodent friend off the table and held him, "So, what's so important that you have to tell me?"

"It's a long story...." the little rat replied.

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Megatron smiled triumphantly with Daisy in his hands as he watched his army being created. He always wanted a huge and powerful and now it was finally happening.  It's like a dream come true.

"Soon I will finally defeat the Maximals and have my revenge on that blasted Vermin for the humiliation he put me through, yess."

The rubber duck in his hand burped yet again, << Man this gas is killing me>> the duck thought to herself as she watched her kind being built. << Finally, I'm not the only one>>

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After the rat told his story, the Maximals were in shock. They never thought Megatron would go that far and also for not being that stupid for once.

"So you're saying that Megatron finally figured out he was tricked, killed a snake with a rubber duck and now a whole colony of Snakes are out to get all of us?" asked a now confused Cheetor.

"That’s right," the rat replied

All the Maximals turned and glared at Rattrap who raised his arms in the air, " Whoa, don't look at me!! I'm not da one that killed dat snake and in the process got the others ticked!!" The transmetal rat said in defense.

Optimus rubbed his temples and sighed. "Well that’s just Prime, what to do now?"

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What will happen next time? Will the Maximals finally come up with a plan to stop the Snake attack? Will Megatron succeed in defeating the Maximals with his army of Rubber ducks? Will the Snakes destroy everything? And will Inferno quit moping and start partying?

STAY TUNED FOR PART TWO!