The Make Rhinox Angry Show

Note: I may be the one writing it, but Wicked Woman's the one who came up with the idea, so big kudos to her. ^_^ I just took the idea and ran with it.

The murmur of the audience quieted as the house lights were turned down. The spotlight shined on the center of the stage, where a figure stepped into the light.

"Good evening, folks!" the person said into her microphone. "Welcome to the Make Rhinox Angry Show, where we make Rhinox- and possibly a few other people- angry! I'm your host, Miss Special."

Though the "applause" sign was turned on, no one clapped. Miss Special scowled for a moment before continuing.

"First of all, I'd like to say that I have absolutely nothing against Rhinox. I rather like the guy. But the thing is, Rhinox isn't exactly easy to anger, unlike some other Transformers we know and love. Therefore, I have risen to the challenge of making Rhinox lose his cool. And because Rhinox agreed to appear on the show today, all the proceeds of this event will go to charity!"

Miss Special paused. Silence.

"So, without further ado, here's the bot you've been waiting to see: Rhinox!" The stage lights turned up, revealing Rhinox sitting on a stool. He waved to the audience, who stood up and applauded with all their might.

After waiting a full two minutes for the audience to shut up, Miss Special said, "Alright, first we're throwing things at him! Scorpinok, if you please."

Scorpinok came out, carrying a toaster oven.

"Why do I have to do this? Why can't Inferno?" Scorpinok whined.

"Because I like Inferno," Miss Special replied.

Inferno came from off stage.

"I agree with the drone! Let me aggravate the enemy of the colony!"

"No," Miss Special said flatly.

"Anyways," she said, turning back to the audience and ignoring Inferno and Scorpinok's protests, "Scorpy's gonna throw a toaster oven-"

"Why don't you do it?" an audience member hollered.

"Do I look stupid?"

"Yes!"

"Look, buddy, this isn't the Make Miss Special Angry show, but you're on the fast track to making it so. Now shut the heck up before I tell Inferno about your crimes against the colony."

"That flesh-bag has committed crimes against the colony?" Inferno gasped. Miss Special assured him that everything was perfectly fine before continuing with the show.

"Scorpinok, throw the toaster oven at Rhinox before I order Inferno to do the same with you!"

Scorpinok hesitated a moment before tossing the toaster oven, which hit Rhinox on the head, bouncing off and landing on the other side of the stage. Rhinox flinched and rubbed his head, but remained calm.

"Ouch," he said.

"Diddly," Miss Special reported. "Okay, try the refrigerator."

"I have been," said Rattrap, walking by unannounced and eating a pickle. "Ya might want t'check da expiration date on dose hot dogs. I think dey formed a central nervous system wid da Jell-o."

"I know they did. They won't let me move them until the pineapple joins their cause."

Rattrap shrugged. "My cameo's done. I'm outta here." He walked off the set.

"A-HEM. I don't see a fridge being chucked at anyone." Miss Special tapped her foot testily.

"I'm….working… on it…" Scorpinok dragged the fridge onstage before hefting it up off the ground and lobbing it at Rhinox. Tiny voices could be heard from inside the fridge as it knocked Rhinox off the stool.

Rhinox pushed the fridge away, got up, dusted himself off, and sat back down on the stool, still cool as a cucumber (or sentient hot dogs).

"Bring out the sink," Miss Special ordered. Scorpinok ran offstage, then came back on, looking fearful.

"It's gone," he said.

"Someone stole the kitchen sink."

"Yes."

Miss Special grumbled something incoherent before barking, "Right, then we move onto Phase 2. Scorpinok, taunt Rhinox."

"But-"

"No, I have a better idea," Miss Special said. "Where're Terrorsaur and Waspinator?"

"I'm right here," Terrorsaur said offstage. "I think I saw Waspinator burying something shiny behind the studio."

"That explains where the sink went," Miss S commented dryly. "Just bring Waspy in."

As Terrorsaur went to get Waspinator, Miss Special took center stage, hoping to stall for time.

"Hey, have you heard the joke about the owls?" she asked the audience.

Silence.

"It was a hoot!"

Silence.

"Have you heard the one about the unresponsive audience?"

Silence.

"They all died horrible deaths in a studio fire, if you get my meaning."

Some of the faint-hearted audience members forced a chuckle and a smattering of applause.

"Alright, Inferno and Scorpinok, block the exits." A fearful murmur rose among the audience as the Predacons carried out their task. Was Miss Special really going to set the studio on fire?

"Relax, people! I'm not going to burn the place down! I just figured if I couldn't keep you entertained while you wait, I should at least make sure you don't leave."

The audience didn't find this very reassuring.

Soon, Terrorsaur returned with Waspinator in tow, obviously miffed because he wasn't finished burying the sink.

"Okay," Miss Special said to them, "I need both of you to stand by Rhinox and make the worst noise you can think of."

Terrorsaur and Waspinator weren't exactly jumping for joy at having the honor of making horrendous noise, but Miss Special wasn't one to disappoint when she had Inferno under her command.

So they stood by Rhinox and let loose with enough screeching and buzzing to rupture one's eardrums if one was unlucky enough to be too close. Miss Special had enough foresight to keep her distance, and the audience was just far enough to keep its hearing intact.

Rhinox covered his audio circuits with his hands, obviously annoyed, but not angry. Miss Special signaled for the Waspy and Terry to stop when the humans couldn't take it anymore. There was a long moment's silence while everyone reveled in the quiet.