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Learning to Walk Again

By: Sinead

 

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Chapter Five

 

 

I was up and at the stone square, clearing it off of last night’s two-inch snowfall. Luckily, it was light, and all I had to do was sweep it. My breath hung on the air in white clouds, as I started a path down the center of the square. With every pass I made, I widened it on one side, then on the other, using the monotonous task to think about yesterday. I was married, and to a . . . a person that I had once believed only existed within a television show. He was also different from the way they had portrayed him. He wasn’t as cold and harsh as they had said. He actually seemed to be more understanding, more level-headed, than he “should” be.

 

But, then again, he’s still in shock, a bit. His body had been mangled, and he was healing.

 

“Alessa?”

 

I looked up briefly, and saw Optimus. I smiled, as I flicked another bunch of snow towards the edge of the pond. Many a time, I had fallen in, when I mis-judged a step. “Good morning.”

 

“Is this punishment?”

 

I chuckled, and replied, “Not at all. This is my warm-up. I sweep the square, and then I start into my exercises.”

 

“You practice daily?”

 

“Of course. I have to keep my edge, no matter what.”

 

He nodded, and I did a second pass of the whole square, spreading a sand/salt mixture from a pouch onto the icy patches. After about five more minutes of silence from Optimus, he asked, “Would you mind if I watched?”

 

I shook my head. “Of course not. I’m used to crowds watching me, yelling insanely for me to rip everyone else’s heads off.” I turned to look at him. “But I have the feeling that you’ll watch pretty much silently.”

 

“True,” he replied, chuckling.

 

I knocked the bristles of the broom against the base of one of the round wooden pillars that held up the roof of the veranda, and placed it in a closet. Before I walked into my room, I peeked in, to see if Dinobot was awake or not. If he was, I would grab my practice sword. If he was asleep, I’d go and take one of my swords from my armor room, which was just to the right of my room.

 

“Well? Who is it?”

 

I opened the door, and said, “I was hoping that you’d still be asleep.”

 

He blinked, and sighed, but it seemed to be painful for him. “And why would you wish that?”

 

“I wouldn’t have to hear you complain that you can’t get up and out.”

 

“Again, tell me why?”

 

“I’m practicing outside.”

 

He blinked. “Slaggit. You’re right.”

 

With a chuckle, I reached around my door, just to the right, and took the sword that hung there down, slinging it over a shoulder. “I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes. I’m only doing a light workout this morning.”

 

“Your palms are bleeding.”

 

I looked at them in shock, then swore. “Go figure.” With a sigh, I carefully reached into a drawer, and pulled out two handkerchiefs, and wadded them against my palms. “Thanks.”

 

“Why did they reopen?”

 

“You’re full of questions.”

 

“Can you blame him?” Ito-chan’s voice asked.

 

I turned, and smiled. “Hey. Itosugi, this is Dinobot. My husband.”

 

He bowed, and Dinobot nodded, trying to sit up. I didn’t say or do anything, but he fell back onto the futon, much to his chagrin. I said quietly, “You’re still much too weak, Dinobot.”

 

Ito-chan asked, “Would you mind if I wrapped your wife’s palms for her? She can’t tie the knots as well as others can.”

 

Dinobot shrugged. “If you wish to. She’ll most likely balk at your help.”

 

I glared at him, while replying to Ito-chan. “And what do you think I’ve been doing while nobody was around, and my palms bled?”

 

The Japanese young man grinned. “Tried to tie them with your teeth.”

 

“Bingo. And, Ito-chan, I succeeded. So don’t you start giving me any of that kuso.”

I grinned at his shocked expression, but he knocked me on my butt, and said, “Do you actually wish for me to get your mother in here?”

 

I winced, and said, “Iie. Sumimasen, Ito-chan.”

 

“Hai. Apology accepted.” He allowed me up, so that we could move closer to Dinobot. “What were you doing, so that your palms cracked and bled?”

 

“I was out, clearing the square.”

 

“You forgot your gloves.”

 

“Yep.”

 

Dinobot chuckled dryly, and I sighed, leaning back against him a little, while Ito-chan finished wrapping my palm. Not only was the palm wrapped, but it extended to about three inches above my wrist, making it look more like the wrapping I used when fighting in my armor, to keep my wrists from hyper-extending. He did the other hand, and I sighed. “Ito-chan, what have you heard about the Regional Championships?”

 

“I’m on the judging committee. Apparently, they think that I’m going to give up my career, the kisama. They’re complete idiots.”

 

I pulled my hand away, feeling the gauze loosen. “You’re . . . you’re really retraining?!”

 

He smiled, grabbed my hand, and pulled it back, tightening the gauze again. “Of course, Are-chan. Why not? I can’t disappoint those who have looked up to me in the past. I would be betraying their trust. There. Done.”

 

I embraced him, then pushed him over, and kicked his good shin. “You know, Kedamono, you should be shot.”

 

Dinobot chuckled, and said, “Are you going to practice, Alessa?”

 

I blinked at him. “Me?” I shook my head. “Regionals are in two weeks, and I have to start pulling my real armor into fighting shape!”

 

I was out of the room, using the door beside my closet, and in the armor room in an instant. Itosugi called after me, “Are you using the armor that you showed me?”

 

“Yeah!”

 

Dinobot and Ito-chan started up a conversation, but it stopped, when I dropped my helmet accidentally by Dinobot’s head, causing him to flinch. He looked at the chest-plate that I carried, as I set it down, worried. “Are you okay? I’m sorry I dropped it.”

Ito-chan laughed, and patted my shoulder. “I’ll tell Jett that you’re starting ahead of him. He’ll want to catch up.”

 

I looked at him, as I balanced on my haunches. “Could you get Fear and Brute’s numbers, so that I can call them, too?”

 

“Don’t you worry about it. I’ll get in touch with them. You have more important things to deal with.”

 

He left, and Dinobot reached over slowly, then picked the helmet up, looking it over. I could tell that he was seeing every detail, every strength, every flaw, although flaws were basically nonexistent. Extinction’s forges turns out high-quality, rather expensive armor. Fortunately, this was a gift.

 

Dinobot nodded finally, but before he could say anything, there was a knock on the door. I stood to open it, and I saw Optimus there. He smiled. “I thought that you would be practicing.”

 

I chuckled. “So did I, but I have to get my armor into full working order.”

 

I stood to one side, and let him in. He picked the chest-plate up, and looked it over carefully. “How are you faring, Dinobot?”

 

His reply was delayed. “Well enough.”

 

“Well enough for what, Dinobot?”

 

The question wasn’t answered. I could tell that Optimus was trying to get through to Dinobot, to try to get him to see that this, that leaving him here with me, was for the best. I stepped in, and picked up the armor gauntlet, rubbing at a tarnish that I saw there. “Well enough, that in two weeks, he can travel into Boston, the Fleet Center, for the Regional Championship. In three days, he should be well enough, so that if we bundle him up in enough blankets, that he would be able to watch me and my team practice outside in the stone square.”

 

Optimus watched me silently. I looked back up at him, and he said, “So you agree.”

 

“A warrior without a war isn’t a warrior anymore; simply a fighter without a cause. I don’t agree on any level. Dinobot is comfortable in the Wars. He isn’t comfortable here, even though I’m with him. Before you even offer, Optimus, I cannot join the Maximals. I have duties here, to my mother, to my work, to my college, and to prove my loyalty the WeyQuinTree Arena. I can’t give that up. That is my cause, just as serving in the Beast Wars is Dinobot’s. Can you try to understand?”

 

He was still watching me. Finally, he nodded. “I can see that it was Dinobot’s choice after all, no matter what we said or didn’t say.”

 

I stood, and picked my sword up again. “I have practicing to do. Armor polishing can wait until later.”

 

As I walked out into the square, it occurred to me that I had left, because I didn’t want to know what Dinobot had chosen.

 

 

 

I walked into the room, to see Rhinox kneeling by Dinobot, talking quietly. He looked up as the door opened, and I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

 

Rhinox chuckled. “You weren’t, Alessa, don’t worry. You and I do have to speak, though.” I nodded, and he left, patting my shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll come and get you, when I have time.”

 

Dinobot didn’t look at me. I decided to bring the subject up, and then cry about it later, when Hoshi was around. She always had been my best friend, as well as my assistant. She knew what would heal heartbreak . . . heartbreak? Where did that come from? I shook my head slightly, and knelt next to Dinobot, picking up my helmet, which was by his head. There was a rough sketch under it, of the helmet itself, with lines upon it, in red. I looked at him, and asked, “Did you do this?”

 

He growled indecisively. “It . . . is merely a suggestion.”

 

I looked at it again, and saw that the lines represented the scars upon my face. I smiled, and replied, “I like it. That’s an idea I’ve never thought of before. I guess that I should also stripe the palms on the armor that goes over my gauntlets, as well as the chest-plate, huh?”

 

He shrugged, still not looking at me. “It is your choice.”

 

I put the helmet back on the ground, and leaned over his head. He looked up at me, and I asked, “Will you leave with them?”

 

His optics dimmed, and he said, “Negative.”

 

“But . . . you . . .”

 

“I do not belong in that war any longer. It is not my place, as it once was a mere week ago.”

 

I nodded, and he sighed, starting to fall asleep again. I put my hand on the side of his head, and he looked up at me, his face showing his despair. I traced his brow, and then sighed. “Your heart’s breaking, Dinobot, don’t deny it. You still love that rush of . . . of whatever, adrenaline, in human terms, that you get when a battle is raging around you. I know. I understand. I feel the same way about fighting within the arena. Do what you feel is right. I’ll back you up all the way.”

 

He looked away, almost as if he were staring through me, and nodded. I touched his shoulder, and he focused upon me again. I smiled, and said, “You need your rest, Dinobot. I’m sorry that I kept you up.”

 

“You said that in three days, I should be well enough to watch you practice.”

I chuckled. “Outside, Dinobot. I stretch and practice enough in here. I’m lucky enough not to trip and fall through any walls.”

 

He smiled, tired. “Through the walls. Not into as one normally would.”

 

I nodded, and he started drifting off into sleep. I picked the helmet up, as well as the three other pieces of armor, that I had mentioned, and grabbed my paint, a clear shellac, thinner, and four brushes, just in case. I lugged everything outside, and then set it down, facing everything up. First, I started upon the helmet, carefully taking off any of the paint and the clear final coat in the areas that I was going to be painting. I pained the five stripes, and set it down, letting it dry. Next, I moved onto the palms of the armoring for my hands, and then let that start to dry. When I reached the chest-plate, I looked at the helmet. The paint had started to drip. I blinked, and then smiled, setting the hand-protection up, so that they would drip as well. I liked the effect. I painted the chest-plate, and set it up, leaning against the house. I looked over my shoulder, and saw snow starting to fall lightly.

 

Two hours later, everything was finished, and was drying outside, in the cold air. That was how I always dried everything. The cracked paint made it look like it was old and antique. It’s been commented on before, since once it happened completely upon accident. I’ve kept doing that since, and I’m not just about to stop now.

 

I entered the room, and Dinobot looked at me, awake once more. I smiled kindly, and said, “Are you bored now?”

 

“Please. Anything to keep me busy.”

 

I chuckled, and propped him up, so that he was in a semi-sitting position. I handed him a mechanical pencil, as well as a fresh pad of sketching paper, and said, “Knock yourself out.”

 

He looked at me, and I shrugged, as if to say, “What? You said that you were bored.”

 

Dinobot looked at the paper, and then at the pencil, and started something. I smiled, and examined the helmet that I had worn yesterday, that Fang had basically destroyed. I opened up the sides, and looked at the insides of the cuts. Soon, I looked up at Dinobot, who was absorbed in sketching. With a chuckle within my mind, I returned to looking over the battered helmet. There were many scratches upon the paint, as well as dents that it had received, when I had made many nose-dives. Those were from when I was still trying to get used to the armor, and the ways that it would let me move.

 

There was a touch upon my shoulder, and I turned to look at Dinobot.  He seemed to ask a question with his eyes, but I couldn’t really understand it. Finally, I asked in a whisper, “Yes?”

 

He shook his head, and asked to lie back down. I helped him, and then left the room, after quietly organizing the rest of my armor in a corner. I walked out to the frozen Japanese garden. Rhinox was there, also looking at the scene, with Tigatron and Airazor. I walked across the stepping-stones that went across a lake, into the center, over to an island. I brushed off the small stone bench that I had placed out there, for thinking purposes, as well as anything else that came up. Hoshi and a former boyfriend once sat out on it all night. What they did, I never asked her, and I don’t plan on doing anytime soon.

 

“May I come over?” I looked over at Rhinox, and patted the sturdy bench next to me. He walked over, and stood before me, his face kind. “I hope that you don’t mind me.”

 

I shook my head, and he sat next to me. The rock didn’t move. Good. I placed it correctly. I asked him about Dinobot, how he was doing, in his current condition. He blinked, and said, “If he continues along the line that he is, at the pace that he is, then he’ll be clinically depressed within weeks.”

 

“Is there anything that could get him out of that condition, if it starts to become that serious?”

 

He sighed. “Not much.”

 

“Well, can you tell me what options there are?”

 

He gave me a look, that plainly said, “Think.” I blinked, and immediately blushed. With a sigh, I said, “Yeah . . . I can see that as an option.”

 

He chuckled, patted my back, and said, “Well, there are other options, Alessa! Activity in an area that he likes, not necessarily that, but something that connects with him on a deeper level, should bring him up again.”

 

“Swordfighting.”

 

“Yep.”

 

I sighed, and he explained something else, that took me literally three minutes to take in. Then, with a jerk, I looked at him, and said in a hissing whisper, “He can turn into a human?! When were you going to tell me this?! When did you find this out?!”

 

He smiled, and said, “When we were having a low week, he was probably thinking about you–” I blushed, and he chuckled, finishing, “–and something happened. He changed into a human, Alessa! Imagine!”

 

I blushed further. “I don’t really want to. Thanks, Rhinox. My mind will be in the gutter for the rest of the night. I am so grateful.”

 

He laughed. “So you’re human after all, eh?”

 

I slapped his arm lightly, and stood, wiping off a plaque that my mother had set here, in memory of my grandmother, who had died of cancer. I looked at the bronze, and heard, “Alessa! Inside, please!”

 

I sighed. “Thanks, Rhinox.”

I was starting to walk over, when Rhinox touched my arm. “Good luck, Alessa.”

 

With a frown, I turned, and asked, “What?”

 

“Good luck. You’re on your own. We’re leaving today. Within five minutes. That’s why you’re called inside now.”

 

I sighed, and said, “Thanks. I hope that we meet again, Rhinox.”

 

“Me too.”

 

 

 

I was inside with Dinobot, three hours later. He was staring up at the ceiling, noticeably more regressed within his mind than this morning. I leaned over his face, and touched his nose, smiling gently. “Hey.”

 

He grunted, and proceeded to stare through me. I sighed, and blinked. “You make wonderful conversation, I hope you know.” He focused upon me again, and I asked, “What did you sketch earlier?”

 

“Something that belongs to me, and me alone.”

 

I smiled, glad that I had gotten a verbal answer out of him that was more than one syllable. “Am I allowed to know?”

 

He sniffed. “You’re not that oblivious, are you?”

 

I chuckled, and realized that I had felt his eyes upon me while I was looking at the helmet. He had been watching me. I smiled up at him, and saw the effort that it took, to smile in return. I touched his nose again, tapping the end, causing him to blink. I chuckled at the surprised look on his face, and crawled into the bed next to him, warming his side. I felt him shift slightly, then his arm went around to encircle me. I turned to face him, and he looked at me, with the same questioning look in his eyes as before.

 

“That look . . . what question does it hold?”

 

A slow blink was the only reply.

 

I smiled, and whispered, “That you can be as human as I am?”

 

He nodded. “I was wondering if you had guessed by now. Or . . . or if you were perhaps told by someone else . . .”

 

I smiled, and replied, “Yes, I was told.”

He nodded slowly, and I sat up, to move the pillow, and replace it with my lap. He needed the comfort, I knew. I’ve had to leave my friends, and an old life, then start anew in a new school. I had to make more friends, and even though I was considered one of the “lower class,” that was constantly picked upon, I made friends that I would remember for a lifetime. Hoshi was one of them. She and I will remember each other until the end.

 

He looked up at me, and I smiled in return. “Sleep. I’ll stay here. I have armor to polish, and  buckles to align. You don’t have to worry.”

 

“What is there to worry about?”

 

I didn’t answer that, but instead, I smiled. He must have realized that I wasn’t going to answer, as he let himself start to fall asleep. With a sigh, he released his consciousness, but I stayed where I was, just watching him. He was worried. What about, though, I didn’t understand. I couldn’t read his feelings.

 

He started to moan quietly, and with a start, he tried to sit up. As he fell back, I caught him gently, and he looked back at me. He looked away, and asked, “How long was I out?”

 

“Five, ten minutes? Not that long.”

 

“You . . . you were sitting there, for that period of time, when you could have been finishing your armor?”

 

I smiled, nodded, and asked, “Do you think that you can go to your beast mode?” He nodded in reply, and I said, “Then do so. I’ll tell you why in a moment. And my armor can wait. I don’t want to polish it, when it could still have wet spots.”

 

With my help, he stood, and transformed, losing his balance, and falling against me at the last moment. I stumbled, caught my own balance, and waited for him to open his eyes. When he stopped wobbling back and forth, I quickly reached down, and pulled the two blankets he had been under, over his shivering back. He looked at me. “What are you doing?”

 

I smiled, and led him towards the door, at his own pace. “You need to get out of this room. If you don’t, then things could get messy, for the both of us.”

 

I brought him to the small fireplace, where a fire was already laid out. Terrence was there, looking over his armor for the individual fights, when we entered. He looked up, saw me, saw Dinobot, and smiled. I chuckled, and asked, “Is there room for two more?”

 

“Anything, for the Kedakai, you know!” He pointed with a screwdriver to a glass kettle that sat over the flames, boiling. “And there’s the makings for cider. You look like you need it.”

 

He saw the question in my eyes, and quickly got up, and arranged a round futon mattress by the fire, close enough to feel the heat, but far enough away, that it wasn’t too hot. I helped Dinobot curl up on it, and he sighed. “You’re fixing that the wrong way.”

 

Terrence blinked. I could almost see him thinking, What?! It talks?! running through his mind. “Huh? How?”

 

Dinobot leaned slightly closer, looking at the armor that he was fixing, and then said, “It won’t fit you, if you position the buckle at the location that you already have started to apply it at.”

 

“So . . .”

 

Dinobot yawned, and I picked up the shoulder-protection. “Oh. He’s right, you know. It looks like you should either find a longer piece of leather, and chance it getting cut, or move it more towards the point, here, so that it’s more protected. If you don’t believe Dinobot, have Itosugi look at it. He’ll tell you the same thing.” I grinned, knowing how much Terrence feared a certain armorist/fighter. “I know! How about we call Extinction, and he’ll come take a look at it! Gosh knows, he’s cut up enough armor to last him a lifetime.” Dinobot looked to me, a questioning look on his face. I smiled. “Amazing arena fighter, who doubles as an armorist.”

 

Terrence shuddered, and I heard another chuckle. The very Japanese young man who we were talking about entered the room. “I already have, but he was being so stubborn about it, that I let it be. Here, Are-chan. Let me pour that for you. Your hands are moving as if they pain you.”

 

I sat, and replied, “Someday, I’m going to find out how you know these things.”

 

He handed me the mug, filled with hot cider, and breathed the scent in deeply. It always reminded me of the days when I went apple-picking with my family, when I was younger. A talon tapped my arm, and I looked to Dinobot. “Hm?”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Apple cider.” I took a sip, and gasped out, “Very hot apple cider! Ow!”

 

The two fighters laughed, while Dinobot glared at them, for laughing at my expense. I chuckled, and touched the tip of his nose, smiling. “Hey. Don’t worry. It’s not like I have much pride left, after being beaten numerous times in my arena.”

 

He growled softly, reluctant to give in, but I asked, “Once this is cool enough, did you want to try it?”

 

“Not likely.”

 

I smiled, nodded, and replied, “Okay. Your loss, though.”

 

He remained mainly silent, while Mom came in, and handed out fresh-baked cookies, that someone had made over in the café in the store, three miles north of the Pavilion. I ate quite a few, and helped debate upon the areas of Michael’s armor, that needed servicing.

 

Dinobot fell asleep, and the boys left soon after. I could feel Mom watching me, as I looked at my previously-unknown husband, and I looked up at her. She smiled, and asked, “Did you need help bringing him back, or are you going to stay here?”

 

I blinked, then replied, “I’m not going to wake him up, but if he does, then I’ll bring him to my room, and get him back into bed.”

 

“You’ll be sharing the room?”

 

I smiled, and shrugged. “Well . . . we are married, after all.”

 

“By their standards, at least.”

 

I nodded. “Yeah. I know.”

 

She smiled, patted my shoulder, and handed me another blanket for myself. After she left, I made myself more cider, and watched Dinobot’s breathing. It was freeing up, and he didn’t have to struggle anymore. He was healing, granted, but only physically. He held up a front, as if he were fine all around, but I knew that he wasn’t.

 

I would have to wait until he told me himself.