KAOS
By: Nurannoniel

It was a very dark and stormy night on the unknown planet. Everybody just *knew* something bad was going to happen, they just didn’t know *what*. Then disaster struck.
“Unknown ship detected.” Sentinel alerted everyone in the ship. Alarms began to blare. Rhinox sat down at the controls.
“Where?”
“Unable to estimate location.” The ship crashed, between Maximal and Predacon territory, causing the ground at both bases to shake.

Megatron held on to his chair firmly. He had nearly fallen when the unknown ship crashed, but had managed to hold on. When the quake ceased, he began giving orders to the Predacons. “Get to the fallen ship immediately! If they are Predacons, welcome them. If they are anything but, destroy them!”

Because The Lair had crashed exactly between the two bases, both parties reached it at the same time. They began trading threats immediately, not noticing the two ‘bots watching them from the open hatch.
“You shall not find new allies here, Optimus Primal, nooo.” Megatron challenged.
“Nor will you, Megatron.” Optimus replied.

“Exactly, we aren’t joining anyone, yet.” One of the ‘bots from inside the ship added. She stepped forward so they could see her. She was a human/silver, black striped cat fuzor. She transformed, and tossed her unusual long black hair aside. Threateningly, claws shot out from her fingers, elbows and heals. A tail swung behind her restlessly. She placed he hands on her hips and looked back into the ship at a shadowed figure behind her. “What do you think, Lian?”

A lion/American kestrel fuzor literally bounced up beside the first ‘bot. When she spoke, she sounded as full of energy as she looked. “Kit’s right we’re not joining anyone right now I mean we don’t even know you guys yet so why should we join you?” She didn’t even gasp for air. She transformed to stand by her sister. Her gold mane shone, falling down to her shoulders. She clapped her beak, shooting out claws like her sister’s. Her tail also swung behind her, the razor-sharp tail feathers gleaming a bright blue whenever lightning struck. She perked her metallic ears as Megatron charged his laser and aimed at her.

“If you will not join the Predacons, then you will perish instead!” He growled.

Kit, the first ‘bot to appear shook her head. “I don’t think so. We’re not joining anyone right now, and we’re not getting turned to scrap either. How ‘bout a deal?” She looked at the two factions in front of her and her sister. Not waiting for an answer, she continued. “I’m Kit, this is my sister Lian. If you’re nice to us, maybe us Kaos Kitty Sisters will be nice and join you. Well?”

No one answered for a moment, but a pale Dinobot stepped forward to ask the question forming in everyone’s minds. “Are you… the two renegades that terrorized Cybertron with your ‘pranks?’”

Lian pounced on Dinobot, knocking him to the ground. “You’ve heard of us? Aw, how sweet!” She giggled. The surrounding Transformers quickly disappeared at the young fuzor’s confirmation. Lian stood up, confused. She began to whine to her older sister. “I think they might be scared of us, Kit!”
Kit just shrugged. “C’mon Lian, we need to unpack.”
“Okay!” Lian bounced into the ship, the hatch closing behind her. Both factions sure the two were not sneaking up on them, they returned to their bases and began for what they knew was coming; endless April Fool’s Day.

***

Optimus was getting worried. The sisters hadn’t come to the Axalon yet, and it had been three days since their arrival. Oh, it wasn’t that he was worried about the Maximals. He was worried about what the sisters had done to the Predacons, because they hadn’t shown up either. Reluctantly, he decided to contact Megatron to make sure they were still… alive. He pressed a key on the consol.
“That is not logical.” A monotone voice answered back. He tried again with the same result.
Optimus shook his head in despair. “I think we have a problem…”

“That is not logical. That is not logical. That is not logical…”
“Slag!” Scorponok slammed his claw into the control panel.
“That is not logical.” It argued. A shadow appeared behind it, grumbling.
“The sisters.” Megatron stated more than questioned.
Scorponok pressed a key again in futile hope. “How could they do this? The autoguns have been online since they arrived!”
“They are famous for their stealth skills.” Megatron said as he turned to leave. Scorponok noticed something on Megatron’s back, and called out. Megatron turned around once more.
“There is something on your back!”
Megatron attempted to reach it, but in beast mode he could not. Scorponok peeled it off for him. He stared at it for a moment before forcing back a laugh. Megatron transformed and looked himself over. Scorponok finally managed to gasp, “Purple and green streamers!”
“I know that!” Megatron hit Scorponok on the head, and sulked off.
Scorponok kept laughing. “He was covered with wet purple and green streamers!” He collapsed onto the control panel he had been standing next to.
“That is not logical.”

Back inside the Maximal base, the temperature was steadily rising. Cheetor collapsed in beast mode on the floor, whining. “It’s too hot!”
Rattrap didn’t even look up. “Eh, I think we know dat kid.” Something clicked beside him, and Rhinox slid out from under the consol. He stood up and flicked a switch. Suddenly the base felt much cooler.

“AC.” He said as he sat down. “There are also individual controls in everyone’s quarters. It should help.”
“Phew! Thanks!” Cheetor recovered in time to see Tigatron come up the lift. He was dripping with orange paint. “You look… Different, Big Cat.”
Tigatron just groaned and resisted the urge to shake off, but he did transform. “The sisters are outside, wondering if our base is cooler than The Lair. They said their air conditioner broke when they crashed. They seemed to be exhausted from the heat.”
“Then we should let them in before they overheat.” Optimus walked into the command center, looking as relieved as everyone else at having A.C. Everyone scrambled to hide as the two sisters came up the lift.

Lian walked in beside her sister, panting. “Hi ya Optimus wow it’s a lot cooler in here mind if we hang out for a while?” When the hiding Maximals saw that they were actually walking, they wearily decided it was safe to come out. If they weren’t bouncing, they were too tired to play pranks… Right?
“Thanks for letting us in. The Lair was about to hit melting point when we bailed, not to mention the Pred’s have no A.C. and a lava problem, so yeah…” Kit trailed off.
Cheetor spoke from partially in his hiding place. “Just, don’t play any tricks on us, okay?”
“Whatever.” Lian lay down on the floor and started to snore.

Later that afternoon, everyone was “relaxing” (in a cautious sort of way) around the base. In the command center, Rhinox was trying to get the virus out of the computer, and Rattrap was playing his easiest video game, and losing.

“Dat’s da 20th time! It’s been messed with, I swear!” He threw down the controller.
“Maybe,” Rhinox sat back from the computer. “But at least I got that virus out of the computer. I was getting sick of hearing ‘That is not logical.’ By the way, where did the Sisters go?” Dinobot, who ran into the command center freaking out, soon answered his question.
“What is it, Chopper-face? The Sisters?” Rattrap picked up his gun without even thinking about it.
“You… could say that.” He looked around nervously. A rubber snake fell from seemingly thin air, causing Dinobot to yell and run once again.
Rattrap casually walked over to it and picked it up, looking at it. “I didn’t know he ‘disliked’ snakes!” His laughter was cut short when the lift activated. Both Rattrap and Rhinox turned in time to see Optimus, dripping wet, step out. He sulked past them.
“Kaos Kitty Sisters. River. While I was asleep.” He answered, replying to the other two ‘bot’s questions before they even asked them.
“Oh,” Rhinox just turned back around in his seat. “That leaves Cheetor and Airazor to have something happen to them today.”
As if on queue, Airazor walked into the command center with a very “different” color scheme. She was now mostly white with light purple patches. She was shivering. “Someone turned the A.C. in my quarters on full blast. It’s a freezer in there!”
“Correction. That leaves Cheetor to have something happen to him today.”

It was getting dark, and slowly the temperature dropped to a tolerable level. That meant trouble for the Predacons, because now the Kaos Kitty Sisters could invade the Darkside without overheating. Which was exactly what happened…

In a dark hallway, Terrorsaur was creeping around, trying his best to see in all directions at once. **clank, clank, clank** He spun around quickly. Someone was coming! He dove into a corner came face to face with Waspinator’s head. Terrorsaur screamed and ran away, not even stopping to notice pieces of Waspinator were scattered all over the floor. Megatron came out from the shadows, a very puzzled look on his face. He shrugged it of, then proceeded to pick up the remaining pieces of Waspinator again. In the background, two, web-covered figures hung from the ceiling, muffled calls for help coming from within…

In an even darker room, Kit and Lian were reading through a “Hypnotizing For Dummies” book. Inferno was tied and gagged in the corner. Finally Lian got up and walked over to him. She took off the energon crystal she usually wore around her neck, and started to swing it back and forth. “You are getting sleepy, very sleepy… You are asleep!” Inferno blinked twice, but did not fall asleep. “…You are asleep!” Still nothing. “YOU ARE ASLEEP!” She yelled in frustration. “Never mind…” She re-tied the leather thong around her neck and opened the book to where she’d left off.

Two megacycles and a few hundred attempts at hypnotizing Inferno later…

“I think we’ve got it this time Lian. Lian? LIAN!” Kit yelled. Lian awoke with a start.
“Wha-? Oh, did you do it?”
“I think so. And stop falling asleep on the job, you wanna get caught or something?”
“No… Let’s see if it worked.” She untied Inferno and shoved him out the door. The sisters nodded to each other, then transformed and crawled into the air vents.
Outside the room, Inferno left to find Megatron…

Megatron was lazing around on his throne. He’d stopped worrying about the sisters half an hour before, sure that they had left for the day. -It’s quiet, so they must have left.- He assured himself. –Wait…- “Inferno? Where did that ant go, yesss?”
On queue, he stepped up beside his master’s throne. “I’m right here, Megatron. You know, you gotta do something about that “yesss” and “nooo” speech problem of yours.”

Megatron stared at Inferno for a moment, speechless. He tried to say something, but the words just didn’t come out.

“Oh by the way, The Kaos Kitty Sisters said something about doing a favor for you, and that you could thank them later. What’s that about?”
Megatron fainted from shock… Or maybe even happiness.

Megatron came to the next morning with the sense that the previous night had been a dream. It had been too good to be true. Inferno and normal just didn’t go together, but that’s what had happened. Or had it? He wasn’t sure. He finally decided that the only way he would ever know was to find Inferno and see if it had been a dream or not. And if it wasn’t… He’d really have to remember to thank the sisters. He set off down the hall towards Inferno’s quarters.

He opened the door a little ways. “Inferno?” He stepped into the room.
“Yes, my Queen?”
Megatron sighed. So it had been a hopeful dream. “Never mind, nooo. By the way, Inferno, are the Kaos sisters gone?”
“I believe so, my Queen.”
“Did they play any pranks on you? And I do wish you’d stop calling me that.”
“As you wish, my Queen. Only once was I attacked. They called it ‘hypnotizing.’”
Megatron perked up. “Hypnotizing?”
“Afterwards I had a dream that I was disrespectful to you, my Queen. Forgive me.” He bowed.

So it wasn’t a dream! But Inferno was back to his usual self. Megatron sighed again. “Yesss, well…” Without anything left to say, he went to his quarters to sulk, leaving behind a very concerned pyro-ant.

At the Maximal base, everyone was busy trying to find places to hide, or installing new locks on their doors. Those who felt that they were some-what safe the next time the Kaos Kitty sisters came by gathered in the command center.

Optimus looked around and thought about the day before. Everyone had had some prank pulled on them at some point now, all except for Cheetor. -Where is he, anyways?- Optimus thought in sudden realization that the cat-bot was no where in sight.

In one of the empty storage rooms of The Lair, Cheetor sat tied to a chair. From the doorway, Kit stepped forward. She was holding a thick hairbrush and a large red bow. Cheetor screamed, then with a miraculous burst of strength he broke free and ran for his life.

Kit stepped out of the front door of The Lair and watched as the cloud of dust settled. She smiled.
“Cheetor… Here kitty. I will track you down.”