The Intergalactic Highway

((OOC: This was fun to write. Any way the OC's Flare and Panzer are mine. And just to warn you readiers that this a rather violent fic, but either way i hope you enjoy it. I'm only putting the first chapter/prologue on here. If you want to read the rest you'll have to go to Fanfiction.net.))


Had he known that it have come down to this he would have never let his younger brother join the Decepticons, but there are times where you can not fight nature. It’s hard and almost always impossible but there are times where you must let nature take it course and roll with the punches. Sadly, when it comes to family and friends sacrifices must be made and in the end blood must spill blood. Even if you die later on.

“Did you really think you could get away that easily?” A voice said from behind him.

Panzer turned around and looked his younger brother in the optics. “I managed to get Elita out, she must be half way to the Autobot base by now. So yeah I kind of did,” Panzer chuckled. “But I forgot how good you are with a sniper.”

His brother’s optics narrowed. “I was never good. I was great.”

“That you are, little brother. That you are.” He replied, rolling his injured left shoulder.

“So, shall we finish what we started? Because you knew that would come down to this eventually.”

Panzer sighed, his wings drooping slightly. “You gonna fight fair this time and not call for back up?”

“I don’t now about the whole fighting fair part. But you have my word as a Decepticon… no as your younger brother that I won’t call for back up,” Flare promised then looked at Panzer. “What about you, Panzer, will you fight fair?”

“When it comes to you? No. But I promise I won’t call for back up, you have my word as your older brother and not as an Autobot.” Panzer replied.

“Very well.” Flare replied then tossed his assault rifle to the side as well as other firing weapons.

Panzer did the same, he knew that his shoulder would slow him down but he wouldn’t let that stop him.

There was a flash of silver and Flare’s swords were out, the blades reflected off the moon light. He tossed one over to Panzer who caught it easily.

Panzer looked at the sword for a moment, then tossed it aside before saying. “I don’t need a sword to fight you.”

Flare raised an eye plate and chuckled. “Same old, Panzer. You never change.”

Flare suddenly bolted toward Panzer, sword posed to strike. Only to be knocked back by Panzer’s tail, luckily it was the club part of the tail and not the slashing part of the tail. Flare simply chuckled as he got back to his feet.

“Even after every thing I’ve done, you still can’t bring yourself to hurt me. Pathetic.”

“The only reason I can’t bring myself to harm you, even though you’ve put me in the med bay more times then I can count is because I know that if do, it will make me no better then you.” Panzer replied as he narrowed his silver-blue optics.

“Your just afraid that you’ll like it to much. Your friend Ironhide seems to enjoy it, maybe there’s some Decepticon in his blood.”

Panzer growled slightly.

Flare smiled darkly, he loved goading his brother, almost as much as he loved killing Autobots. An idea came to him making him smile even more, using the tip of the sword he cut a wire in his arm. Energon spurted from the cut wire for a few seconds before becoming a slow current that ran down his arm, he looked up and saw Panzer’s optics widen in horror, not at what he had done but at the smell of fresh energon.
He knew that once Panzer smelled fresh blood, his beast mode instincts would kick in. He smiled even more and took a step toward him older brother.

Panzer was fighting the urge to transform and attack his brother in a wild haze of drunken blood lust, making him vulnerable to attack. He took a few steps back when Flare came closer, this was the reason why he hated fighting, the smell of fresh blood caused the beast in him to surface, wanting to spill more blood no matter who it came from, whether it was from friend or foe it didn’t matter.

“Stay away from me, Flare.” He warned.

“I don’t think so, Panzer,” Flare replied as he continued to walk toward his brother. “There is darkness in you, I’ve felt it in our bond as you slaughtered that Decepticon. Admit it, your just as much a Decepticon as I am.” He bathed the tip of the sword in his blood before he thrust the sword toward Panzer without letting go.

Fresh blood splattered against Panzer’s chest and before he could stop himself the need for more blood overwhelmed him and he transformed into his beast/alt mode. Panzer growled deeply as his golden eyes locked onto Flare, letting out a furious roar he charged blindly at his target.

Flare smiled as he felt the darkness of his brother consume his spark, so that only rage and the need for more blood-shed replaced his honor and restraint. He readied his sword and waited for the moment to strike, he knew that killing his brother would result in spark-shock and it would kill him eventually but if he had a bond mate, it would keep him alive. That was exactly what he planned to do after he killed Panzer.
Flare moved at the last second and lashed out with the sword, the blade made contact with the left side of Panzer’s muzzle, making a deep diagonal gash that bled freely. He smiled as he heard the roar of pain, then turned to look at his brother.

Blood filled his mouth and dripped onto the ground as it fell from his chin and open jaws, but it only fueled his rage and need for blood. All he needed to do was get that slagging sword out of his hands, then the real fun could begin. Before attacking again, he extended his wings then let out another frightening roar.

As Panzer charged again, Flare readied himself for another strike, but he didn’t expect Panzer to leap into the air, every claw he possessed aimed straight for him. Next thing he knew Panzer was on him, he used his sword as shield when Panzer went to take a bite out of him, the sword was ripped out of his hands then broken into several pieces when Panzer snapped his powerful jaws shut.

After spitting out the shards of the broken sword, Panzer turned his attention back to Flare, his gold optics locked with his brother’s crimson optics then lunged forward jaws open.

At the same moment Flare kicked out with his left foot, it hit its mark as the force of the blow made contact with Panzer’s left ankle, breaking it.

The Autobot dragons optics widened then roared loudly in pain, allowing Flare to shove Panzer off him using his feet. He quickly rolled away from Panzer and got to his feet he smiled as Panzer struggled to his feet.
Pathetic. Flare thought.

Panzer let go a throaty groan then fell onto his side, his sides heaving as he tried to calm his breathing. He opened his optics and looked at Flare as his younger brother calmly walked over to him.
Their optics locked again and threw the bond, Flare could feel the rage and darkness that had consumed Panzer’s spark slowly vanish.

-What... What are you waiting for? Finish it.- The dragon said through their link they once cherished.

Flare just smiled then walked around him, he noticed that Panzer was watching his every move. He then knelt down and paused for a moment then looked at Panzer through narrowed optics. Instead of finishing him off, he walked over to where the other sword had been tossed before the battle and picked it up.

“You must think I’m stupid,” Flare said coming back sword in hand. “You never give up, you’d fight even if it killed you.”

“Well, it worked for second.” Panzer said before bolting to his feet and attacking his younger brother.

-You forget, Panzer. If you kill me, you’ll die as well.- Flare said.

-I know that. But I don’t see you as my little brother any more. I see you as a Decepticon!- Panzer replied.

That wasn’t true, yeah he little brother was a Decepticon but Flare was and forever will be his little brother and nothing, not even the war between the Autobots and the Decepticons would change that.

Flare suddenly wrapped his arms around Panzer’s neck and started to squeeze, next thing he knew he was airborne still holding onto his brothers neck. With every beat of Panzer’s wing brought them higher and higher into the sky until Panzer stopped and they both went into a free fall. Thinking quickly, Flare let go of Panzer’s neck and kicked off him, knowing that Panzer had intended to use him to break his fall.

While Flare landed on his feet, Panzer landed hard on his back breaking his left wing and knocking all the air out of his body in the process.

It took several seconds for Panzer to recover, he forced himself back onto his feet and looked at his left wing as it hung limply at his side. He wouldn’t be flying in either robot or beast mode for a while, he quickly remembered that he was fighting his brother. As he quickly got to his feet he transformed into his robot mode growling in pain as he did so. He swung his head from side to side trying to locate the Decepticon he once called his brother.

A massive weight blind sided him knocking him off his feet and sending him rolling. He came to a stop on his stomach and just laid there, he didn’t see the point any more, there… there wasn’t any thing left for him to fight for.

“Oh, now your giving up? I was hoping you’d have some fight left in you. I have to say I’m rather disappointed.” Flare said crossing his arms.

Panzer didn’t reply.

“You always were weak.” He said before pushing Panzer onto his side so he could get a clear shot with the sword.

-You failed Panzer,- Flare said through link. -You failed as an Autobot, and you failed to save that piece of trash that’s bonded to Prime.-

Again Panzer didn’t reply, he just didn’t have the energy any more.

Flare used the flat part of the sword to make the defeated Autobot look at him. “Before you die, I just want you to know some thing. I helped kill all those sparklings and younglings and I enjoyed every single minute of it.” Then raised the sword above his head and plunged into Panzer.

But he hit nothing, he did however feel Panzer’s growing rage in their link. Before he could so much as breath a clawed fist smashed into the side of his face, the force of it knocked him off his feet and onto his back. As he went to sit up a dragon like foot pushed him back down then met the barrel of his own assault rifle. He looked up into Panzer’s face and saw that his optics had become so blue that they almost looked black.

“I can over look the fact that you chose power over our bond as brothers. But I can not and will not over look the fact that you killed innocent younglings!” he snarled.

Flare chuckled. “I guess that’s the difference between you and me. And when you have a gun pointed at some ones face, you better pull the trigger.” He then kicked Panzer’s already broken ankle.

Rolling to his feet, Flare ran to his sword and quickly turned only to be barreled into by Panzer who had transformed back into his dragon form. He screamed in agony as he left arm was ripped clean off, mech blood spurted every where, he looked at Panzer who still had his severed arm in his jaws. Despite his missing arm Flare ran at Panzer sword out to the side, he was dead set on finishing this.

Panzer narrowed his golden optics before spitting out the arm, then charged toward the Decepticon. They crashed into each other, both hell bent on killing the other, mech blood stained the ground as they fought.
Flare managed to get onto Panzer’s back, he raised the sword above his head and before he could impale the Autobot threw the back he was on the air falling back ward as he realized that Panzer had reared up intending to crush him with his weight.

Panzer suddenly slipped as the ground gave way beneath him but he managed to dig his claws into the ground stopping him from falling. Flare wasn’t so lucky, he hit the side of the wall and rolled down the steep slope before stopping when the slope leveled out.

Flare looked up and saw that Panzer was struggling to keep himself from falling in with him. He then noticed that the sword was several inches away from his hand, he painfully got to his feet and grasped the sword then went to his knees and positioned the sword so that the blade was level with his chest.

“You will die alone, Panzer. I promise you that.” He then plunged the sword into his chest and into his spark.

Panzer roared in agony as searing pain just tore through his spark and he knew that Flare had taken his own life and in the process condemning him to die a slow and painful death. Some how he managed to pull himself back onto stable ground and he just laid there spent and in pain, it was over Flare was dead and he would follow, maybe not right away but he would die none the less.

You will die alone, Panzer. I promise you that.

Panzer thought that Flare was right, he had no one he was alone and he would most likely die alone. With what ever energy he had left, he walked away from the edge before collapsing again, he then closed his eyes but not before looking up at the stars with a small amount of hope warming his dying spark.

((OOC: Well what do you guys? Helpful tips are welcome. Hope you enjoyed it. ^_^ ))

So if I'm reading this correctly, this story isn't part of a larger series, right? It's just one fight scene in a potential fictional setting? You said yourself that Flare is normally a femme-bot when you write her, which would seem to suggest that this story doesn't precisely fit in with your other stories.

But again, I might not be understanding this correctly. I ask because whether or not this writing is part of a larger frame-work helps me make some conclusions. Since I think it is a stand alone, I'll work off that.

I think that you did a good job of writing in the emotions inherent in this battle, through your use of tension and allusion to the tragedy of a sibling rivalry taken too far. In your pursuit of that emotion, however, I think you should be careful how you use specific plot points. Some of the things you wrote in here can take your reader out of the imagination and enjoyment of the story because they seem too forced, too... sudden and familiar.

For example:

Flare used the flat part of the sword to make the defeated Autobot look at him. “Before you die, I just want you to know some thing. I helped kill all those sparklings and younglings and I enjoyed every single minute of it.” Then raised the sword above his head and plunged into Panzer.

But he hit nothing, he did however feel Panzer’s growing rage in their link. Before he could so much as breath a clawed fist smashed into the side of his face, the force of it knocked him off his feet and onto his back. As he went to sit up a dragon like foot pushed him back down then met the barrel of his own assault rifle. He looked up into Panzer’s face and saw that his optics had become so blue that they almost looked black.

“I can over look the fact that you chose power over our bond as brothers. But I can not and will not over look the fact that you killed innocent younglings!” he snarled.

Murder of that variety is a very cruel action, and as a result, if it elicits a response out of a reader, that response will be strong. But that emotional response requires the audience to be somewhat familiar with those who were murdered, and with the murderer. In this story, we have never heard of these 'bots who were killed until Flare issues his callous statement about them.

I understand that since this is one written story, showing us those background characters wouldn't be easy. In my opinion, then, the best course of action would be to either reference that murder very subtly and lead carefully into that reference, or to just leave the reference behind all together. Right now, your characters are discussing the murder in a very declarative manner, which works great at the climax of a longer story, but is difficult to work out in a story who's exposition, main conflict, climax and conclusion are all in one "chapter".

Also, I like that you provided a thematic idea in the beginning of the story to sum its main point up:

Had he known that it have come down to this he would have never let his younger brother join the Decepticons, but there are times where you can not fight nature. It’s hard and almost always impossible but there are times where you must let nature take it course and roll with the punches. Sadly, when it comes to family and friends sacrifices must be made and in the end blood must spill blood. Even if you die later on.

But I think the second sentence is redundant since you already mentioned that, at times, nature can not be fought. The third sentence is also a bit ambiguous- why must sacrifices be made? Does this tie back to the idea that you have to let nature take its course? Is that in itself a sacrifice? Or is raging against nature's course a sacrifice? The last sentence in this paragraph ("Even if you die later on") gives the reader an effective realization of the stakes involved in this story's subject matter, but I feel like you're describing a plot detail (Panzer' possible death) and instead of letting it be a plot detail, you're trying to make it a philosophical observation by putting it with the previous observations in the paragraph. So I don't think that sentence quite fits with this introduction.

I know I've mostly stated criticisms so far, but there really are a lot of things you're doing well here. The fight is described pretty well, and the actions of the characters in the fight seem logical to me. And I know I mentioned that some of the emotions you presented seem too forced, but, with those excesses in mind, the dramatic core of this story is still fairly entertaining. Furthermore, while I admit I haven't read the rest of your stories with these two characters, they seem, at least for this story, to be fairly believable and engage-able characters. So good job.

So if I'm reading this correctly, this story isn't part of a larger series, right? It's just one fight scene in a potential fictional setting? You said yourself that Flare is normally a femme-bot when you write her, which would seem to suggest that this story doesn't precisely fit in with your other stories.

I wanted to try some thing different that has nothing to do with OCxCanon pairings.

But again, I might not be understanding this correctly. I ask because whether or not this writing is part of a larger frame-work helps me make some conclusions. Since I think it is a stand alone, I'll work off that.

I think that you did a good job of writing in the emotions inherent in this battle, through your use of tension and allusion to the tragedy of a sibling rivalry taken too far. In your pursuit of that emotion, however, I think you should be careful how you use specific plot points. Some of the things you wrote in here can take your reader out of the imagination and enjoyment of the story because they seem too forced, too... sudden and familiar.

Some of it was forced because i had a brain fart while i was writing it. And by familiar what do you mean by that?

But I think the second sentence is redundant since you already mentioned that, at times, nature can not be fought. The third sentence is also a bit ambiguous- why must sacrifices be made? Does this tie back to the idea that you have to let nature take its course? Is that in itself a sacrifice? Or is raging against nature's course a sacrifice? The last sentence in this paragraph ("Even if you die later on") gives the reader an effective realization of the stakes involved in this story's subject matter, but I feel like you're describing a plot detail (Panzer' possible death) and instead of letting it be a plot detail, you're trying to make it a philosophical observation by putting it with the previous observations in the paragraph. So I don't think that sentence quite fits with this introduction.

Yeah, i was in my own world when i wrote that.

I know I've mostly stated criticisms so far, but there really are a lot of things you're doing well here. The fight is described pretty well, and the actions of the characters in the fight seem logical to me. And I know I mentioned that some of the emotions you presented seem too forced, but, with those excesses in mind, the dramatic core of this story is still fairly entertaining. Furthermore, while I admit I haven't read the rest of your stories with these two characters, they seem, at least for this story, to be fairly believable and engage-able characters. So good job.

I'm glad you liked it. And when it comes to characters i think one should make them believable and liked.

Sorry for the late reply.

Some of it was forced because i had a brain fart while i was writing it. And by familiar what do you mean by that?

I meant that some of the plot elements seemed to have been used in other stories.

It's been said that there are no new plots to write in the world- that every idea's been covered, and that the only difference in each story is the mixture and depiction of those details. And I think I agree. So, really, every plot than any author writes is going to be familiar in some way. But the more an author can take the reader away from comparing the current story with other stories they've come across, the better.

I'm not saying this lacked originality- I admitted before that I was entertained. It was just a few moments that I noticed- like the murder Flare alluded to.