At least to say what I'm thinking...

[Blazemane]

So, I'm writing the next part in my fan fiction, the Serengeti Series.

My writing pattern, as I have figured out over the past 18 months is like playing demolition on reinforced concrete walls.

I start with my long term goal. All the way on the other side of the building, I have this finished product that I want to have attained. What stands in its way? The story.

Which is depressingly ironic considering that the end goal I want to achieve is that same story.

Anyways, I face the first wall and generally throw some sort of explosive at it. It crumbles. These are the first 4 or 5 pages of any given chapter. A rush of excitement sweeps over me, and I get things done at a faster rate then any other time. Then, with a hole in the wall, I at least feel the motivation to go at it with a sledge hammer. It is slow. But it is progress.

I finally get through the wall (I've gotten through three so far) and breathe a sigh of relief. And in a fit of self-centeredness, I wait for some spectator or another to notice my efforts, and critique or congratulate me on the way in which the hole in the wall was made.

And then I sit staring at the next wall for a good number of months.

Maybe one day I'm walking my dogs, or I'm just sitting at the computer, and another explosive will be handed to me through some window. And the cycle continues.

And so now, I've just set dynamite to the fourth wall. I had hoped that afterwords I would be able to just tackle my way through it, but it won't budge. Yeah, past the analogy, I have writer's block.

But while I sit on the ground of this building and ponder about how to break through the wall, I begin to ponder other things. And they make me feel slightly guilty, and a bit sad.

For example, as I mentioned earlier, that desire to have somebody notice in some manner that I have written something. I have innocent intentions, in that I want to know whether or not I actually wrote effectively or not, and what I need to work on, but I have bad intentions too. I want to hear that I did really well.

In short, I don't write just for myself. Many people do. Certainly there are those out there who want to see their story played out well. Granted, this writing for one's self is hardly non-existent in my own desires. It's an imaginative release. I love that. It's a chance for me to be a director of sorts, a playwright. I love that.

But there is something incorrectly (of my own stupidity I mean) depressing when I see no or few responses for what I've written. Thoughts rush into my head like "does no one care?"

I am well aware that practically everyone does. The main reason fictions go unresponded to is that we find ourselves really, really busy. That's unavoidable.

But then, I think back to the stories I've heard of what I would like to call the glory days of Beast Wars International. Fictions were communally known and respected. At least, that is what I have often heard. I do not wish to paint it like foreigners saw America in the 19th and early 20th century, where there was a "chicken in every pot", so I know that not every fiction could be given advice. But I hear tell it was a lot better.

The main thing I've thought of in response to this is the growing size of the community. Simply put, there has been too much to keep up with. A great deal of fictions were already posted by the time I got here, and just as a I am a slow writer, I am a slow reader. Terribly slow.

And then I get back to the whole conceitedness thing. What did I begin my series for? For praise? That's certainly not what God would ask of me. But is it true?

Yes, partly. I work on stories, I guess I just want to hear back for it. Then again, I did want to write it just so I could say "That's right, I have a fan fiction on here, it's done (you'll notice, as I've mentioned, that in about 18 months, I still haven't finished), and hopefully, its epic." That seems fair enough in itself to me.

The sad thing is, I'm probably one of the least to talk. I guess the biggest thing I think of is the wonderful review I received from Nyx in the very first Bwint newsletter.

But I guess, in a way, I feel like the well has run dry. I have one person, 7knightwolf, who has reviewed all three parts of my story, and that is it.

But I didn't write this to complain about my "oh so terrible review streak" (which is not so terrible after all). I wrote this to complain about my selfishness.

I guess I'm writing this all to ask a few questions: What is the motivation for writing fan fiction? Is it to write for one's self? Is it to better one's writing skills? Is it to have fun?

Most importantly, is it wrong to have expectations for feedback? Because, I'm finding most everyone is in the same boat, especially with my experiences on Fanfiction.net. Over there, you've got people who's stories have been up for months, and they have like, two reviews. From a global reading community?

And then, I suppose, an author's supreme reward, even above receiving direct feedback, is to at least have their story read. It is less satisfying, and far more fulfilling at the same time. So, how many fictions do you all find yourselves reading even if not necessarily writing back about?

And when is it, perhaps, wrong to write fan fiction? Can it be wrong?

There, I've said what's inside my head.

[Wayward]

My style? Depends on what I'm doing. The unholy monster of doom that is Other Vengeance is pretty much completely outlined already - I know where it starts, I know the major plot points that need to be covered and when, and I know where it ends. Individual chapters end up with five or six pages of outline ( I have sixteen characters to keep track of and a bad memory. I need extensive notes. ) Previous fics have had far less prepwork, but they're shorter and have fewer characters.

I always write very slow and out of order. Alas.

Do I like feedback? Hell yeah. Is feedback the reason I write? I'd have given up long ago if it was.

What is the motivation for writing fan fiction? Is it to write for one's self? Is it to better one's writing skills? Is it to have fun?

Yes. But I find bettering my writing for my own satisfaction to be fun.

Most importantly, is it wrong to have expectations for feedback?

Depends on your expectations. But, basically, people is people and cannot be predicted. They will review or not depending on their whim and there's nothing you can do about it without being irritating ( okay, or at least irritating to me. I'm sure there's people out there who love it when a writer says, "I won't put up the next chapter until I get ten reviews kissing my feet!" )

So, how many fictions do you all find yourselves reading even if not necessarily writing back about?

Not a lot. If the summary doesn't grab me, I don't click. If the story doesn't grab me, I don't review. If the story does grab me, expect a two page e-mail singing praises of delight ( and a bit of nit-picking, if there are nits to be picked. )

And when is it, perhaps, wrong to write fan fiction? Can it be wrong?

If the original author has expressly forbidden it, yeah.

Other than that I dunno. I've seen fics that make me wonder why the writer bothered, but none that have ever made me think that the act of writing itself was wrong.

[Jagna]

Blaze, you're only human. It's just natural to want a little attention.

I believe I started off the same way...kinda. I had what I thought wa a great idea, it was a challenge to write about something I loved that wouldn't be marked or assessed, and I went for it. The first chapter of BWR took about a month to complete, I think. I got quite a few comments on it, and that gave a little tingly sensation inside me. So I thought I'd continue. A few months later, Chapter two was up. A few more comments.

Then I forgot about it for a whole year. And once I started writing again, along came that glorious confidence boost that kept me going: feedback and positive comments.

I don't get so much anymore, and I thought it was wrong to feel bad about that, too. But after a while, I thought, 'Sod it. Writing it is just too much fun'. My belief is that if it's fun to write, it's fun to read. At least I hope. Now I just get satisfied when I'm finished with a chapter. For even if no one reads it at all, at least I can go back and read it have a laugh.

I think there are two people that have read every single chapter thus far, and two or so more that are in the process of reading it. Like you said Blaze, people just get too busy. Remember DarkSpark? He and I used to PM each other all the time to help each other out with fic ideas and give feedback and advice. Eventually, we both got swamped with work stuff.

I read a whole series of Beastbot's over the course of a few months, for I too am a slow reader. I like to savour each word, absorb each sentence. I suppose it is critical to write a fanfic, not read/comment on anyone else's and expect someone to comment on yours, but this stuff happens. I do feel guilty sometimes, but I can't email JK Rowling and say whatever. I'm not even sure I would. I just love to read it. Same with some fanfics. And I'd love nothing more than to tell Peter Dickinson that I love his story 'The Kin' to bits, but that he accidentally put Noli's name down instead of Mana

Wow, digressing much?

Then comes the question: Do we want constructive feedback or positive comments? Personally, I think it's fine to want a bit of both. It's a nice feeling if someone bothers to point out your mistakes, or laugh at a joke you put in.

Then again, perhaps I'm just saying that because I do it

*Looks back at the beginning of the post*

Hm...my writing style is like me. Random and done out of order. Though I like structure, I never do things in order. For example, chapter 15 of Volume One was completed long before chapter 10 was even half-way through. In fact, Chpt 15 used to be 13, then I had an idea for a filler that would explain a few things, and so became 14. Then something else happened, and it became 15.

Like Wayward, I plan ahead. But not always on paper. I know what the major plot lines/twists are, but I'm not sure how I'm going to get to them.

THAT's the fun in my writing. I get to hear a story while I write it.

......I'm not sure if that's answered your question or not Blazemane........what was the question? >.>



EDIT: Having said all that...I've been inspired by this discussion to finish the first Chapter of BWR Volume Two. In fact, I'm about to put it up! Thanks Blaze, I needed a kick up the bum for that, it's been starin at me for months now!

[Blazemane]

Thank you for your input you two.

......I'm not sure if that's answered your question or not Blazemane........what was the question? >.> Laughing

Good question.

I think I write like you Jagna- I have a few ideas, things I really want to get to, and simply have to get to them.

But I can't seem to write out of order. I wouldn't dare. The whole time I would be writing the good stuff, I'd be concerned with the boring-ness that was later to come in the writing.

Yes. But I find bettering my writing for my own satisfaction to be fun.

Wayward. I didn't even catch what you were saying there until the second time I read it.

[Wayward]

I didn't even catch what you were saying there until the second time I read it.

Just means I've got to keep working on my writing skills. ( And, yeah, clarity is one of the things my betas are always kicking me about. )

[Blazemane]

Just means I've got to keep working on my writing skills. Laughing ( And, yeah, clarity is one of the things my betas are always kicking me about. Wink )

I didn't mean it like that. I merely didn't catch the joke because I was being slow and likely preoccupied. It was well written.