Anyway here I go...........
CHAPTER 1 MEGATRON
"Welcome to the insane fanfiction talk show!" the host, who also happens to be the author, shouted as a huge audiance goes wild with cheers and clapping. "Today we will be interviewing the characters from the Beast Wars and Beast Machines cartoons!"
The crowd cheered again.
"Okay," the host said, sitting back in her big plush sofa chair. "Let's get this started. our first guest is that rubber ducky loving, Predacon villian that we all love to hate (or love to love). Please welcome Megatron!"
The crowd went wild as Megatron (in his transmetal 1 state) came out of the guest lounge and walked toward the stage. On his way up a fangirl from the audiance got loose and glomped his leg.
"Hey!" he shouted, looking down at the fangirl and trying to shake her off. "That is off limit, yess! Let me go!"
"Kawaii Megatron-san!" the girl exclaimed in bad Japanese. "Megatron-SanxTerrorsar-san forever! KAWAII!"
Megatron's big eyes bugged out at the weird yaoi fangirl as he viggerously tried to shake her off his leg. "You're insane, human!" he exclaimed. "I am not inlove with Terrorsaur, no!"
"Securty!" the host shouted, after a moment. "We have a rabid one here! Can you get the tongs!"
After security pried the yaoi fangirl loose Megatron sighed in relief and rushed to the stage where he sat down on a couch that looked like it had recently taken a beating. (It had, by Sonic characters) "That was close, yess."
"It sure was, Megs," the host said.
"Why did that human think I was inlove with Terrorsaur?" he asked.
"Ever read fanfiction?" the host asked.
"No. What is that?"
The host shook her head. "Best you didn't know."
"Oh."
"So, Megsy," the host began. "How do you like being the leader of the Predacons?"
"It could be better if I wasn't surrounded by lunatics and traitors and idiots," he said.
"How's that?" the host asked. "It can't be that bad."
"You try living with a fire ant that thinks you're a woman, a whiny wasp that isn't worth CR-ing everytime he gets his butt blasted, a mad scientist spider that half the time I have no idea what he's doing, a bitchy spider witch who flirts with half the base, a traitorus flying dinosaur that sounds like he's got something lodged in his throat, a cowboy wannabe, a raptor who can't figure which side he wants to be on, and a hermit crab that enjoys watching me lose my temper, then tell me it's not that bad!" he growled.
"Wow you just about covered everyone," the host said. "Except Scorponok. You forgot him."
Megatron blinked "I did?"
"Yes."
"Well he kinda blends in with the woodwork sometimes."
"I see," the host said. "Speaking of Dinobot."
"When was I speaking about Dinobot?" Megatron asked.
"About now," the host began. "Speaking of him, how come you're so obssessed with cloning him? I mean what's the big deal? You clone him like two or three times and he still defected. If he's gonna keep doing that why bother?"
Megatron thought about that for a moment. "Now that you put it that way I don't really know," he said. "The writers of the show never really specified why they wanted me to keep doing that. I can tell you soem nights I'd go to bed and dream about raptors chasing sheep over fenses...."
"Eh........I think it had something to do with the toyline," the host said. "I mean, if they wanted him transmetal 2 why didn't they just give the original a makeover?"
Megatron snorted at that. "He'd never go for that."
"You know what I think?"
"No."
"I think you're inlove with him and that's why you keep cloning him."
"WHAT!? I'm not inlove with that traitor!" Megatorn exploded. "What would give you such an idea?"
"Well you keep cloning him and the way you act toward him makes me think otherwise," the host said.
"You fanbrats have sick minds," Megatron said, folding his arms. "Me inlove with Dinobot? Indeed."
"Okay then," the host said. "How come in Beast Machines you hated your dragon form? I mean it made you 100000 times cooler. Why would you wanna remove it?"
"I was on drugs at the time and had no idea what I wals talking about, yess," megatron said.
"Oh." the host said. "Why do you like rubber duckies?"
"Oh no, you don't!" Megatron said. "You leave Mr. Squeekers out of this!"
The host snorted. "Mr. Squeekers? You gave it a name?"
"So what if I did?" he loomed over her. "Got a problem with that, human?"
"Oh no," the host said, putting up her hands as she chuckled to herself. "I was just wondering. Anyway, why do you always said a stretched "Yesssss" or "nooo" at the end of most of your sentences?"
"Cuz it's cool."
"It's not cool. It's annoying."
"Yet I heard you didn't like it when I didn't say that in Beast Machines." he pointed out.
"Well yeah, I was used to it," the host said. "And I never thought of you being the kind of person who'd go around stealing sparks and hating plant life."
"Like I said someone gave me crack before I began that show," he said. "I happen to have a giant pirahna plant that eats tax collectors when they come a-calling."
"Oh," the host shivered at the thpought. "Are you still on crack?"
"No I went through rehab."
"That never works."
"It works for me."
"Whatever. Did you know your face always reminds me of a dog?"
"What?!" Megatron stared at her like she'd gone crazy. "I beg your pardon."
"Yeah," the host said. "Whenever I saw you in your first form and you'd transform I always thought "He looks like a dog" but not in the ugly sense." she added quickly when she saw the look on his face.
"Why a dog?"
"I don't know. It has something to do with your helmet......."
"My helmet?! My helmet!" Megatron exclaimed, offended. "My dear girl, that's not a helmet! That's my head!"
"Looks like you're wearing a helmet. Did you know Dinobot's helmet thing makes me think of egyptians or samuris?"
"Oh great you just have to think his head looks like something cool while you think mine's a dog-face."
"Sorry," the host said, giving a helpless gesture. "I'm a Dinobot fan."
"Then interview him instead!" he said, standing up. "I will not be humiliated by being told I look like a dog-face, no! I can just imagine the vermin using that against me the next time we meet!"
"Well sorry," the host said. "It's not my fault you remind me of a dog."
"That's it! I'm outta here!" he stomped toward the exit.
"For what it's worth I don't hate you!" the host called after him. "Hey! Say hello to Mamatron for me!"
"You leave my mother out of this!" he called back before the door slammed shut.
The host stared at the door a moment then shook her head. "I was only being nice..."
A/N
I hope you enjoyed that. I got this idea about a month ago but reframed from starting it because ofthe flames I'll probably get. All well. I can take it. Till next time. Oh and I'm only putting Beast Machines characters in this because there isn't a lot of Beast wars Characters and I want this fic to be pretty long... all well. I am not insulting yaoi fangirls or people who don't know japanese very well but use it anyway.