"Um," "I kinda don't know where to start since I never thought I'd be saying this while flying to a mission."
Orcariner didn't capitalize on opportunities like this when they arose, whereas Optimus, as busy as he often was at times, had to take advantage of every minute in every day for private talks because something always came up to inevitably interrupt him. He was not a leader who wasted time for such discussions because they were important to the one who needed his ear to listen to them or who was in search of his advice. Whitegrazer had given him practice with his efficiency of time. The blue ape remained quiet so Orcariner could focus and gather his thoughts.
"I guess I might as well be blunt about it," "I disobeyed orders and watched the security footage of Icebreaker's death. I know who killed him."
Primal closed his eyes for a moment, as if bowing his head in sorrow and prayer. He finally admitted to him that he breached the security on the video logs and it hurt a little more than Optimus thought it would hearing those words in his voice. He trusted Orcariner and thought highly of him. He was a great Maximal and a gentle giant, but he was about to see a darker side of him that he never thought he'd discover.
"Steelclaw was the last Predacon I would have imagined to have taken a life. As you read in my previous debriefing report, he and I fought side by side in the Vok's labyrinth. We practically left that pit as brothers-in-arms. Just knowing that he was responsible for killing my best friend is... is... I don't even know how to properly describe the feeling. Look, I know you didn't want me to see those tapes, Optimus, and I'm sorry for going behind your back but it's done. I've seen what happened, and yes, and I feel hurt. I don't even know if you could relate to this feeling, but it's like he..."
Yes, Optimus was well aware of his and Steelclaw's sprouting "friendship", for lack of a better word, since their teamwork in that mess of an underground maze. And he would bring the bear up again later. As for the video of the security footage, that was the whole point. This whole situation was the point of him keeping it away from Orcariner's eyes because this was exactly what Primal was trying to avoid and protect him from anchoring such dangerous thoughts and dwelling on it day by day.
"It's like he stabbed me in the back doing this. It's weird, I know, finding comradery in a Predacon but that's just how I saw it. Maybe I just hoped that we could be friends off the battlefield. Maybe I just hoped that he could even join us, kinda like how Dinobot switched sides. Then to find out that he stormed into our bas- no- into our home! Taking the life of one of our own without even hesitating! It just wrecks me up inside, Optimus! It's not right. It's just not right."
Could Optimus relate to that feeling? Not necessarily. Although, he could relate to the heartache of losing friends... of losing all of them in a single moment. And it still haunted him. It haunted him because there was nothing he could do. There was nothing anyone could do to the Vok and make them answer for their misguided and unethical actions. All one can do is move forward. Listening to Orcariner's voice escalate, Primal could feel his emotion and stress and outrage. It saddened him and made him worry greatly for his larger comrade. This clearly had been bothering him for quite some time, and that lead Optimus to believe that he probably wasn't the first one that Orcariner had approached about it. Perhaps he had spoken to Whitegrazer, who would have provided just as much wisdom if not more than he could. What the flying whale said next was what the Commander feared the most...
"I want to kill him. I do, I really do. I want to kill this Pred, Optimus. I know it's not exactly something you'd preach to us. Definitely not something you'd approve, but that's why I'm coming to you first before I do anything on my own. I want you to know how I feel about all of this, and if you can somehow convince me that paying back Steelclaw in kind for what he did to Icebreaker isn't the answer to all of this, then please... convince me! I don't like the idea of murder, but somehow I just can't shake this feeling that there is no other form of justice that could make up for this. There's nothing else that I could do that would make up for Icebreaker's death, because how can I possibly justify letting him walk freely in this war when he's the cause of death and sorrow. I'm sorry, Optimus, I just... it's been on my mind for while now. I can't seem to shake it no matter how hard I try to. If I see this guy, I really don't think I could stop myself from trying to end his life."
The leader's spark sank and he momentarily closed his eyes again while they continued flying to their destination. He wished it hadn't gone this far. He wished Icebreaker was still with them; just to save all the heartbreaks his death had caused and to never see this side of Orcariner because it was ugly and disconcerting. However, because of the effort he had just shown in coming to Optimus first told him that there was still hope to help him and to try to talk him out of the hatred and suffering despite how deep it felt rooted inside of the killer whale. Words needed to be chosen carefully, and there should be firmness as well as empathy.
"Orcariner, I appreciate you approaching me about this before you do anything reckless," Primal began.
"I understand what you're going through, what you're feeling - the rage, the anger, the sadness, the need to correct it and make it fair. Truly, I do. And it's good to see that you know me so well, that I wouldn't encourage such behavior from my Maximals, but I suddenly feel like I don't know you at all. I can't express how disappointed I am." His tone fell a little deeper as he continued, implying that there may be repercussions for his actions.
"You bypassed my security measures on the footage and betrayed my trust for your own satisfaction because you couldn't leave it alone despite the message I gave to you from Icebreaker himself. And I never thought I'd hear those words from you." Optimus shook his head in disappointment referring to him saying that he wanted to kill someone, as if it was the only option left and the only way he could feel closure.
"Killing Steelclaw won't heal your pain and suffering, Orcariner. And it’s not a way to avenge Icebreaker’s death. I won't tolerate any of my crew taking a life for their own justice, gratification or revenge.” Defending one’s self was an entirely different situation.
“Not taking a life is what separates us from Megatron and some of his Predacons no matter what they have done. It's too easy; it's the coward's way to defeat their opponent. If you want to avenge your friend, then you stay true to yourself, help those in need, be merciful and forgiving, and be the leader and role model I know you can be." He gave a brief pause before adding,
"There are some paths that shouldn't be taken… paths that are full of darkness and regret... and murder is one of them. Orcariner, once you cross that line, there is no return. You have to live with the consequences of your actions for the rest of your life, and it will tarnish your career and your spark. It will follow you and haunt you until the day your spark expires." His stern voice eventually climbed uphill for a somewhat different approach.
"But truth be told, I'm not always around," which was true because Optimus didn't partake in every mission he sent the TransMetal whale out on,
"so the decision will ultimately fall into your hands if you cross paths with him again. Let me ask you this, Orcariner. Have you even thought about how Steelclaw might be feeling about it? Maybe he never meant to fatally wound Icebreaker; he was under a great deal of pressure after all, not that that is any excuse. But judging by his history and character, I have no doubt that he regrets what happened, that it wasn't anything personal against you, and the guilt and remorse that he must be feeling for what he did that day and how much it must have hurt you because he knew how close you were to Icebreaker.” How crazy would it be if Steelclaw truly was sorry for what he did, and if Orcariner could ever forgive him, that they would become the best of friends in the end when they would need each other the most? Not so crazy.
“When was the last time any of us saw Steelclaw? It's been a long time. Is he too ashamed to show himself after such an act for no consideration of life? Or, Primus forbid, did he take his own life because he couldn't live with himself? If murdering someone, especially if it was unintentional, doesn't change a bot, then there's something wrong with their programming." He meant that toward Steelclaw as well as a warning to the orca.
"Obsessing and dwelling on this will only hurt you more, Orcariner, as well as the ones you love who surround you every day. It will tear you apart inside, and you can’t focus on what matters now in the battlefield. How can I be certain any of my crew is safe in your hands if you’re leading them with this kind of distraction? You must know that we're here for you. I'm always here for you," he emphasized.
"You are certainly not suffering alone. Megatron and the Vok have put us through a lot, and I must take responsibility for the conduct of my crew and the lives of friends that are lost, but what I can not do is let them control me. I can not resort to revenge or justification because I value life and I’m better to show mercy. As much it pains me, I use our friends’ deaths to push me forward, to strengthen me, and not let their sacrifices be in vain. You’re better than this to be seeking death. This war has had enough of bloodshed already." Optimus turned his head to his aerial partner and said sincerely,
"Orcariner, I urge you to speak with Steelclaw about it before resulting to something that you will never be able to take back. And if what he says speaks true to you, then all of this anger and hatred that you’ve been harboring will have been for nothing but your own undoing. Please, my friend, heed my words."
As both Maximal fliers approached the area where Dinobot and his team had converged on to rescue the protoform, Optimus opened his comm. link to the raptor and alerted him,
"Orcariner and I are in the vicinity, Dinobot. I'm going to assume Tarantulas headed toward the Darksyde." If his presumption was incorrect, then the warrior could tell him otherwise, but at least now the lizard knew his team had help.
"Do you know the name of the protoform?" he asked.
"Orcariner, stretch your sonar as far as you can. We need to find Tarantulas," the blue and silver gorilla pleaded as his neon pink eyes diligently scanned the terrain below them and toward the horizon. Both of them could be heard in the sky as they quickly flew over Dinobot's location within seconds.
"Of course, sir. I'll tell you once we have some free time and thank you."
Saber-Fang's words lingered in the back of Primal's mind while he waited to see if Orcariner was going to protest or say anything more on the matter. He was open for discussion, of course, but they couldn't distract themselves too much on the matter at hand, which was finding their kidnapped ally.
(( OOC: Alak, I don't mean to rush through their discussion, so keep Orcariner talking if you want. I just wanted there to be progress in their rescue mission (despite them being too late already) so it doesn't seem like they're lollygagging around because it's quite serious.
Megatron could very well use Banshee as a trade for Optimus or Sonar or something... at some point... ))
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Aye, finest oilhouse in all the galaxy.
"Got dat right!" Rattrap joyfully agreed with Landslide.
Er.. Listen lass.. if it becomes too much on you, we still got some stasis pods around.. It's not a cure, but if yer that worried, you could go into stasis for awhile. Only thing I'd be worried about is if somethin' happened to ya like that..
Only Rattrap was lazy enough to secure himself in stasis in a pod. He doubted Saber would agree to it, although it was an interesting idea.
"Thank you for your concern, Landslide. But aside from the constant threat of this... Threat lerking about inside me, I still wish to be helpful, being in a stasis pod would counter that."
See? I knew it, thought the rat. He smiled a little after Saber's decision before she turned and walked away, exiting the hangar.
Aye, it's a fine device. Only way I would of been able to perform similar is with my arc welder.. but I can't even catch that witch as she buzzes around at mach 2.. Perhaps I'll need to look into some countermeasures myself,though Nanomachines aren't really effective on me.
"Yeah, well, she's got more weapons so I'd look inta more counta'measures if I were you," he had recommended to the beetle.
Ug.. Maybe I will use the CR chamber for abit..Wake me up if ya need me lad. he then lumbered towards Orcariner's CR chamber.
"You got it, Big L," Rattrap said as he watched 'Slide limp away to the CR.
"Sweet dreams," he teased.
"And then dere were three," he smirked at Whitegrazer and Aurora.
"Oh yeah? That's pretty awesome! Maybe we can improve on the taser to give it a more powerful jolt."
Rattrap squinted an optic at her and pursed his lips a little bit.
"Somethin' tells me you ain't tellin' me somethin'," he confronted her in a playful manner.
"Did you already know about dis?" he inquired. It was no big deal to him whether she did or not, he was still proud of himself for conducting his own experiment in the field under such frightening circumstances.
Stupid Nemesis, he thought as he recalled her picking him up, falling from the sky, and her relentless attacks on him.
"Yeah, of course I'll help,"
The Spy smiled and stepped aside for her to get a closer look at the pod. Then he proudly watched her examine it like a criminal investigator.
"Someone carved these in manually.. They were not part of the original design."
"Really?" Puzzled by her discovery, he leaned over for a closer look and scratched his head as his optics wavered over the symbols.
"I think they're Cybertronian... but I can't read 'em. Must be some kinda ancient dialect or somethin'. But that doesn't make sense. It ain't ours, and nobody was inside of it, so whose is it? Where did it come from? ...And where and who's the protoform...?"
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