- Winner of Most Thought-Provoking and runner up for Best Tear-jerker '04

Eternally Damned

By: Lady Venom

Note: This story is one written originally as something personal, because I usually don't post something so much about myself as this, I find it takes away from the character too much....that and I find it embarrassing to write stuff about myself! So, that's why I hope you enjoy it. A large thank you to Sapphire for editing it for me, and prodding me to finish it, otherwise, it'd still be collecting dust under my bed! Also, the poem that the title of the story is from, and also the inspiration for the whole shebang can be found here. Now, enjoy! 

Things are never easy, which is why I've always been a quitter. To start is always the first step towards failure, I will admit to preferring a good fight (verbally or otherwise) instead of being rational or civil. But you, you were so much different; I thought I had you pegged. But then you would do something extraordinary, a small spark in a light of eternal damnation. You hated being the monster, but you were all too eager to play the part expected of you.

I guess that was the reason, the reason that you and I bonded so well, we each had a darker tendency that we reveled in. You could literally know when something wasn't right, you could see past my smile, my jokes. You stripped me bare, and refused my walls, this was one thing for you that immortality couldn't withstand. But, it hurt. What you did for me; to me. I was ill-prepared to see myself as the cruel trickster I had created. You refused to believe, and followed your instincts, blind and resolute in your expectations. So willing to free me from my self-bound hell, that you couldn't see past the suffering for the tortured.

I know this all seems like an odd way of saying thank-you, but I always loved the abnormal. How else could I have stumbled upon you and the others? I must finish this quickly, I can hear you stirring restlessly in your sleep. I often idly wondered what you dream that causes the anguish in your eyes first thing in the morning before your mask slides into place. Do you dream of a cold sterile place, or of broken screams that you've caused on a demolished stretch of road? Or, will you shrug off my inquiries as always, never letting me in?

It doesn't matter anymore, because I will never have to see the haunted look in your eyes again, except for in my dreams. I am human, and will always be so, despite your ideas and theories. And as such, I have no place in your war, it was my earlier childish whims to ever believe I could co-exist between the two worlds.

For that insane vision, I offer my sincerest apologies. It was a fantasy of a young girl you tried to retain immortal, as yourself. But five years have passed to no avail, all that has changed are my views and opinions.

And so,

Goodbye, my love.

His footsteps echoed through the hallway as the large leader made his presence known to the intended victim of his displeasure.

Pounding on the door, Megatron bellowed again, "Rampage! You crazed crustacean! Get out here this instant!"

Trying the digital keypad lock beside the door, he found the code to have been changed. "Argh! You'll pay for this! Computer, override manual locks, voice code: Megatron."

There was a minute beep as the ships computer acknowledged the command and complied. Upon entering the sparse quarters he spotted some loose paper by the computer. His eyes quickly scanned the farewell note, ignoring all rights or privacy in the process. Beside the paper, a screen saver popped up, indicating that the owner had left not too long ago. Tapping 'enter', the picture of a noose-hung Megatron bouncing off the edges of the screen vanished. To be replaced with a typed document, something of either little value to the owner, or forgotten in the obviously hasty retreat.

Megatron felt his eyes widen as he read what he know knew to be a poem. At first believing it to be written by the crab's human companion, the meaning was much darker, and come the end. The author had signed with a simple X.

A noise from the door jolted the tyrant from his enjoyed musing, turning he spied Inferno.

"My Queen! Are you displeased? Shall I search for the ?"

Swallowing the growl he felt rising at the title, Megatron cleared his throat. "No, that won't be necessary, but I must ask. Have you seen or heard from the human lately?"

At her mention, Inferno brandished his flamethrower. "She is a deserter of the colony!"

"Deserter? What do you mean Inferno?" Turning around, Megatron advanced on the ant. Still angered, the drone explained to his ruler. "She has abandoned her colony for another. A colony of her own."

"Her own you say?" Megatron grinned. "And, ....harrumph....did she happen to mention a 'return' from her colony?"

Inferno glared at his surroundings, as if contemplating burning it as to make his Queen happy by destroying her property.

"No Royalty. She expects no return."

Crossing his arms, Megatron tapped his chin in thought. "Very well, meet me at the bridge, I suspect this war will go more swiftly without her interference."

"Royalty!? What about the drone?"

Pushing a button on the computer, the CD containing the poem was released into his awaiting fingers.

"Let him chase after that pathetic fleshling, I have a better way to injure him at the moment."

Rattrap looked at the beeping message suspiciously, the sender was of Predacon origin.

"Ahh, hey Rhinox, c'mere. What do you make of this?"

The large technician made his way to the console, tapping a few keys he was able to scan the message. Detecting no virus piggy backing on the email, he opened the letter.

"What the...? Rhinox to Optimus, I think you'd better come take a look at this."

"Rhinox, what am I looking at?" Optimus asked his friend, after reading the letter.

"I'm not sure, but the signature at the bottom says X. Do you think Rampage really wrote this?"

"Hoo hoo, man! If crabby really wrote that....!" Rattrap chuckled, shaking his head at its absurdity.

"Hmm...I never really pegged X as a poet. Although it does look like something he would write." Optimus mused, crossing his arms and rubbing his chin.

"Hey, look at this!" Scrolling down, Rhinox pointed out some small writing.

"Well don' keep us waitin', what is it Rhinox?" Rattrap queried.

"It's a date, according to this, it was writen only four megacycles ago."

"If Rampage really did write this, then why was it sent to us? And by whom?"

"Who knows," The large green robot shrugged, answering his leader.

"Heh, maybe he wants a little feedback...whaddya say Rhinox? Shall we?" Rattrap's fingers were poised with anticipation over the keys.

Waving his hand at the screen, "Optimus nodded. "Be my guest."

"Hoohohee.....man, this is gonna be sweet!"

Sitting in his self-proclaimed 'throne', Megatron watched the replies pour in. "Hmm, most of these are from that accursed rodent. Although, they are quite amusing." He read aloud, opening some of the letters. "Take this one for instance Inferno :

'A little over the top, doncha think crab legs? I mean, if all it took to make you kill yourself was to have ya look in a mirror, I'd have gladly helped ya find one!'

Inferno stood beside his commander, and nodded appropriately. Not quite sure why his Queen would want such a strong drone dead.

"Hmm, Primal's is so generic! By the Pit, you'd think even he could be more original!"

'Dear Rampage,

Thank you for choosing to share something as personal as this poem with us. Lady Venom must be very proud of your skills.'

With a roll of his optics, Megatron continued through until all had been read. "Yes, these will do nicely." And, pressing a certain key, he began to print them.

"My Queen, I apologize, for I do not understand the meaning behind this measure of punishment."

"It's not a punishment. It's more like adding salt to the wound. His optimistic little human already gave him his punishment when she left." Standing, printouts in hand, Megatron turned to his trusted second-in-command. "Come, it is time we put these in a nice, safe place."  And with an evil smile, they disappeared down the dark corridor.

With an insane thrust, he punched his hand through the tough blubber of the outer skin, and sunk his blood-covered hand down through the fractured ribs. Large fingers closed around the still pulsing heart of the great white shark, the finger tips caressed the organ momentarily, letting itself feel the life that flowed through such a powerful organic being before closing painfully around. The fluttering pulse struggled to continue its work in the confined space, but its valves were destroyed as the walls met each other in the center. With one last jerk, the hand and arm released its prisoner on death row, taking the heart with it like some sacrificial offering to a long forgotten deity of destruction.

Rampage watched the shark attempt to go belly up in his grasp, but his hand on its tail kept it from doing so. Using his free hand, he moved to the wound, and began to rip chunks out of the oily meat. This was the only way he found himself able to forget the days events. Stalking, hunting and the glorious kill.

He had known that something had been bothering his bonded, but not its severity. Somehow, she had been able to mask her emotions from him; but the worst, he though, was that she chose to.

A Few Days Earlier

Setting aside her book, Lady Venom stood to open the door to her shared quarters. It slid open to reveal Rampage, who was leaning heavily on the door frame.

"What in Hades happened to you?!" She cried out, grabbing his arm to help him to his bed.

"Shizeur! That hurts." He swore softly, having picked up the German curse word from his bonded.

Sitting down on the bed, he still clutched his chest ."That insane slagging tyrant was not 'pleased' when I left to go play." He said lightly, beginning to recover.

"B-but even a spark blast shouldn't do this much damage!" She said, kneeling down in front of him to look up at him.

"That's because it wasn't. Any time he feels I misbehave, he is going to inject liquid raw energon directly into my spark." He explained with a frustrated sigh, now fully recovered.

Eyes wide, she shook her head. "But, he can't do that! Too much exposure could seriously damage you, or even kill you!"

With a low growl , he turned and laid down, his back to her. "He has and he will."

"That's it! That jackass has gone far enough!"

Her freckled nose wrinkled up with determination, Lady Venom marched outside and down the corridor. Upon reaching the leader's quarters, she alternately banged her fist on the door and kicked it.

The noise reverberated around the hall, and her peripheral vision caught the flash of optics watching her. Thankfully none of them were green. Three successive minutes later, the door opened on a very irate Megatron.

"What. Do. You. Want?!" He bellowed.

Glaring up at the large robot, she pointed her finger at him. "I want you to stop being such a bloody prick! And leave Rampage the hell alone, you self-absorbed, self-deluded, egotistical pompous little airhead!"

Glancing past him into the room, Lady Venom spotted the spark box. Ignoring Megatron's curses, she darted past him, running straight for the box. Her fingers barely brushed the purple spark-holder when metallic ones closed about her shirt collar, and yanked her back into a wall. Hitting the upper half she fell to the floor with a loud thud. Pocketing the object of her desire, he advanced on the slowly standing human.

"Let that be a warning! Bonded or not, you are still no match for a transmetal such as myself. Hmph, you are lucky that I don't kill you where you stand." Grinning suddenly, he took the box back out, "And for your troubles, I believe a reward is in place."

And from his subspace pocket, he withdrew a syringe filled with blue liquid. Lady Venom watched in horror as he jabbed the needle into the rapidly pulsing spark of Rampage. A tortured cry of rage and pain echoed through the base.

" Yob tvoyu mat Megatron!! Leave him alone!!" Her voice cracking at the scream's intensity and heart thundering with a mingled rage of both souls, Lady Venom, in a moments indecision, tried to rush the leering tyrant.

Firm hands planting themselves on her shoulders prevented the attack, with a snarl she looked up, preparing to attack the newcomer.

"Let it be." Rampage told her, squeezing her shoulder for emphasis. He was obviously still very weak from having two doses of raw energon so close together. Turning her around, he led her to the door.

"I'll be back in a few cycles," he told her.

"No!" She shook her head violently, clutching at his arm. "If you stay, I stay!" Then, a little softer, "You can't take him on 'Page, not now. If you do, I- I don't think you'll win. Wait a little longer, at least until you're at full strength...please..." she pleaded.

"Ho ho, what a precious sight this is! Even your silly little human doesn't believe in you!" Megatron chuckled.

Cracking her knuckles, Lady Venom released Rampage's arm. "That's it, I'm sending you to the fricken' Inferno, you slag-suckin' saurian!" Trying to push Rampage out of the way she re-attempted to rush the Predacon leader. But strong arms encircled her waist and lifted her off the ground.

"Really Miss Venom, such talk does not befit a young lady such as yourself," Megatron lightly scolded.

The snarled reply from the human female was unintelligible.

"And you my dear Rampage, you really must keep a tighter hold on her leash."

The adrenaline was leaving her system, making Lady Venom tremble in its wake. She was glad that Rampage was still holding her, because her legs felt like jelly at the moment.

His eyes blazing with hatred, Rampage turned and left Megatron's quarters. Ignoring the jeers and goading to get him to fight. Once finally alone in their own room did he finally set her down. Breathing heavily, she collapsed on the floor and laid her back against the cool metallic wall, playing over in her mind what had happened.

"What in the Inferno did you think you were doing?!" Opening her eyes with a weary sigh, Lady Venom listened to the ranting robot. "He could have seriously hurt you! Or even killed you!" When he glared at her, she merely shrugged.

"I'm sick."

Blinking at the unexpected answer, he repeated curiously, "You're sick?"

"Yes, I am sick of watching you day in and day out being a toy for him to amuse himself with. And I'm tired of trying to help you and only causing you more grief than before. I just want you to be happy, and I want some peace. The problem is," Here, she stood, leaning on the wall for support her aching body. "Neither of us will have that. Not until you agree to my offer."

"You need your rest, you're sore and exhausted." Coming up beside her, he steered her to bed, pulling back the blankets that she had brought for her own comfort after moving in, she climbed inside. Giving a cat-like yawn she flopped back onto the pillows.

"Why do I even bother to help? I only ever end up making things worse."

Lying down beside her, he moved his crab-legs up so she could get comfortable. "You help because you care, because you are an optimistic, if not temperamental human."

Laughing softly she draped an arm over his chest, while using the other one to prop herself up. "Why 'Page, is that a compliment? I do believe that you're becoming sentimental on me, you emotional sap."

"A passing insanity, don't worry."

Nodding , another yawn escaped her mouth as she settled down again for sleep. "R'page," She asked sleepily, closing her eyes. "What would it - take ta have you come back with me?" She finished, referring to her world.

"A miracle," he lamented, listening to her already even breathing.

Present

Having his fill, hunger sated. Rampage reverted to tank mode and made his way back to the base. Upon entering he immediately noticed the camera's following him more closely than usual. Ignoring them, he made his way to his room, whereupon entering he instantly noticed pieces of paper strung up to every available surface. Walking up to the first one, he ripped it down, eyes scanning the letter.

Dear Predacon,

This piece of writing is unique in its dark complexity, surely someone such that could write such fantastical words cannot be all evil?

Silverbolt

Writing? Reading more, he realized what they were referring too. But the worst one, was from Rattrap.

Yo, X

I don't remember installin' a personality into that hunk o' junk you call a brain. All in all, it's a screwed up poem from a screwed up 'bot. How you can keep your girl is beyond me.

Ripping them all down, he threw them in a nearby lava pit outside his door. He wanted to kill whoever did this. No, he wanted to torture them to the brink of death, but not allow them the pleasure of crossing over.

*

Drawing his missile launcher, Rampage looked around, hoping that the perpetrator would be stupid enough to stay close to the crime scene. It was faint, but he could feel someone nearby, turning left he stomped toward the emotional waves. His footsteps reverberating through the hallway, the elated feeling faded from the being, quickly replaced by fear as he realized he had been found out.

"Uh, hiya there crab-legs. Whatcha lookin fer?" Quickstrike asked the approaching transmetal with a nervous chuckle as he gave up hiding his game of poker with the computer. "Heh, Ah thought you were the boss-bot...or ol' blender-butt. Wouldn't do me good to -urk!"

Rampage grabbed the tiny fuzor around the neck and lifted him up to eye level, deciding that if he did know anything, the fuzor's head would become permanently detached from his body.

"The letters, in my quarters, what do you know of them?"

Quickstrike merely stared dumbstruck, Rampage shook him for emphasis. "Speak! Lest I extract the information from your memory banks personally!"

"Ah don't know nothin'! Ah swear!" The flustered cobra/scorpion robot choked out.

With an enraged growl, he flung Quickstrike head first into the computer screen, pausing momentarily in order to watch the body twitch from the electricity overload. That momentary lapse of cause for the sheer pleasure of pain cost the crab greatly. A sudden burst of fiery pain erupted from his spark cavity and traveled through every pore, every pump, every fibre of his being with such a disarming pain, that it caused him to curse every scientist of that epoch in his damned life. But the same life spark that he swore to damnation began to restore his tortured shell.

"Tut, tut Rampage, see what you made me do?" Came Megatron's derisive laughter.

"Are you then, to blame?" Came the half snarled reply of a cornered beast.

Stepping closer to the crustacean, the Predacon leader displayed his mirth. "Those? Oh my yes! Why, did you not like them? Funny, I thought feedback was good for the soul." Here he paused, contemplating what he had said. "Or, something like that."

"You will pay for that you cretinous saurian!"

Pushing aside the pain from Megatron's sudden spark blast, he fired his missile gun at his own spark. Knocking it to the ground, the release was momentary as he dove for his captive soul. Red fingers closed around the small box as a triumphant cry sounded from his mouth. A large foot stamping on his hand compressed the split spark, cutting short Rampage's ululating cry. Writhing on the floor from the completely compressed box, Megatron found little resistance as he kicked aside the weakened hand.

"I think you need a reminder of who your master is, my dear Rampage. Yess."

Still compressing the spark, Megatron removed an energon filled syringe, and before it was even inserted the screams began.

*

The glass Lady Venom had been holding smashed onto the floor as she clutched her chest. The pain was nothing she had ever experienced before.

I'm having a heart attack! She thought numbly as her legs gave out and she collapsed onto the glass strewn floor. I can't breath!

Clawing at her neck, she tried in vain to open her airway, to no avail. The edges of her vision grew fuzzy as her eyes began to water, her oxygen depraved lungs burned. Placing her hands on the floor she tried to stand, but the glass skittered away under her palms, cutting her as well as she fell back against the wall. Trying one last time to move, her lungs felt like they suddenly exploded, and she felt the black close in as she passed out.

*

"She's still weak, but very lucky to be alive."

"What exactly happened to her?"

"We're not quite sure, it was as if she went into cardiac arrest. Her heart had in all physical aspects, stopped."

"But...what happened? She's alright now isn't she?"

"It's a miracle is what it is. Three full minutes after she was declared dead, her heart started beating again! It seems she just didn't want to go. Heh, that's quite the little spitfire you have there."

"Thank you doctor."

Opening her eyes slowly, Lady Venom took in her surroundings of white-washed walls and sterile objects and deduced that she was in a hospital. Her mother, noticing her awake, came quickly to her side.

"Hey sweetie, how do you feel? Here, take a drink first." The blonde woman handed her a plastic glass filled with water, taking a sip she breathed deep, feeling very drained.

Setting the glass down, she asked her first question. "Can I go home now?"

Giving her daughter a reproving look, she shook her head. "Look, it's only for a few days and the doctor - Leave that alone!"

Lady Venom looked up from where she had been trying to remove the intravenous tube in her hand.

"I don't like being stuck with needles, and I don't like quacks probing me either," she replied huffily, but leaving the needle alone nonetheless.

"Look, why don't you rest and I'll go discuss your release with the doctor, okay?"

Nodding, she watched her mother leave after a gentle good-bye hug. Suddenly feeling antsy, Lady Venom threw aside her covers, only to sigh in frustration as she looked at her hospital garments.

"I don't even want to know," she whispered, referring to who had changed her.

Grabbing the drip hanger, she shuffled outside into the hallway after double-checking that the gown she wore was indeed closed. Hearing a television, she followed its sound to the source, hanger prattling behind her, finding its source, she discovered a sitting room for patients, feeling winded from the short excursion, she sat down on a nearby sofa. Pulling her feet up under her for warmth. There were only two others in the room as well as her. An older, balding man wearing pinstriped pajamas, and a younger man in his early twenties, also in pajamas. After a few minutes, the show playing on the mounted set lost its appeal, so she amused herself by looking out the window, daydreaming. Even so, she caught herself stealing glances at the young man across the room. He was slouched back in a chair, long legs stretched out in front of him. His fine chestnut hair fell in his face, partly obscuring some of his facial features. The man beside him leaned over, talking and pointing at the t.v, the pair chortled at something, then continued in a quiet discussion. As the time wore on, the elder of the pair stood and bode him good-night.

Trying to make eye contact with the now alone man, she felt that it was futile until he spoke up, eyes still on the mounted television.

"Is there a reason you feel compelled to stare?" he asked.

Blushing, embarrassed at being caught she opened her mouth to defend herself, but all that came out was a soft, "Sorry."

Smiling, he finally looked at her, brushing the hair out of his eyes with fair skinned fingers.

"It's okay." Blushing, she scratched the area surrounding her needle nervously. He watched her curiously, "You don't seem very happy to be here."

"Yeah, I make it a point of avoiding hospitals and doctors in general."

He laughed softly, "I know what you mean. They always seem to think they'll find some miracle cure to cancer if the prod you long enough."

Chuckling, she nodded. Standing, the man made his way over to her, extending his hand.

"Hi, m'name's Gabriel, the tonsil patient. You?"

Hesitant, she accepted his proffered hand. "Uh, L.V, the screwed up heart patient." Noticing his raised eyebrow at her name she smiled encouragingly. "It's a nickname."

As their hands touched, Lady Venom felt a currant pass between them, and felt an odd sense of deja vu. She wondered if he had felt it as well, because his friendly smile suddenly froze on his features. Slowly, the connected hands detached their grip from each other and Gabriel sat down next to her.

"This is going to sound strange, but do I know you?"

Tucking light red hair behind her ear, she looked over her shoulder at him. "No, it's not strange, funny...I feel the same." She began to pick at the tape patch holding in the needle.

"Slag, this itches!"

"Uh, I don't think that you should do that."

She peeled off the tape, frowning at the metal that disappeared under her skin. "Well, I want to. Besides, it's not your concern anyway!" She retorted.

"Jesus, no need to be so touchy! I just thought -- "

With her eyes shut at the pain, she slowly removed the needle as he talked. "No, that's just it! You know me not five minutes, and you're already telling me what to do."

Perhaps it was the aftermath of the attack, or the fact that the attraction she felt for him made her think of her bonded. She missed him more than words could describe.

"If it hurts so much, why are you doing it?"

"It doesn't!" She snapped, letting the tube and needle dangle from the hanger.

"Do you always lie?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Watching her focus her attention back to the t.v.

"No." Was all she could come back with, feeling her face flush crimson she muttered a cybertronian curse under her breath.

"That wasn't very polite," he told her, catching the phrase.

Slowly, she turned to look at him, "How do you know what I said?"

Pausing for the first time, he tried to remember, "I...I don't quite know...same as I don't know where I know you from...but I just know that I know you."

Watching him strangely, Lady Venom moved closer to him. "Where are you from?"

"From? I'm from...here....this city...I think...." Turning to look at her he suddenly felt weird. "I should probably be getting back, my operation is tomorrow, and I need the rest." Standing, he made his way to the door way when he felt a wave of despair wash over him. Stopping in mid stride, he turned to look back at the lone woman in the room, she had turned her back to him, and appeared at ease, looking out the window into the dark night.

"You're crying!" He exclaimed. "But...you swore never to cry in public...you...said it made you feel weak..."

"How hell do you know what I said?" She called back bitterly. "And for that matter, why do you care!"

"I said I would always protect you, even if it meant from myself," he said slowly, coming back over to sit close to her. Snippets of memories were swarming in his head, confusing him.

Turning her green blue eyes on him, Lady Venom looked close at the man beside her. "......Rampage....?"

A vision, still white hot from a pain that didn't know it was long dead enveloped the lanky man.

*

"I think you need a reminder of who is your master, my dear Rampage. Yess."

Pain, nothing like the immortal had ever felt before. It encompassed his very being, his very soul and shot out of him at every opening, begging to be released. Megatron smiled wickedly at his work, but the smile soon turned to terror as Rampage's body began to glow. Realizing what was happening, he tried to stop it, tried to escape. But it was too late, the energon had done its work, and as he stared at his own end, Megatron felt nothing but a hated vengeance of being denied the fruits of his labour he had sought so hard to grasp.

Rampage felt the pain detensify in feeling, but not in power. He knew that he should feel the pain, but his mind refused to comprehend it. And he regretted that his bonded and he would never be reunited.

Do you want to be here?

Be where? Where was he?

Your spark is here, with all things that ever was, and all things that ever will be.

The matrix? Is that where I am? Or is this the Inferno that so many have damned me too.

The Inferno demanded your soul, demanded your sufferings to never end. But, we have claimed you.

I don't understand. Claimed me for what?

A second chance. A simple act can redeem a soul for many misgivings, as can it damn them to the Pit. But swearing yourself to protect a human, someone weaker than yourself, you proved that you could indeed be saved.

What good does this do me, when she left me?

As you were, you could never have lived a united life, but we are here to give you a second chance. If you feel yourself worthy, and deserving.

I am not worthy, just as I was not worthy of her. Send me to the Pit where I belong.

Very well...you have made your choice.

*

"Why? I don't understand... I should be dead...they said that I was..." Turning to look at her, Gabriel grabbed onto her for support, together, the two of them hugged as the story was recounted.

"It doesn't matter!" Pulling apart to look at him, she smiled in earnest. "And besides, I wasn't ready to give you up. How could I? I'm a part of you, and to be alone, would be hell for me."

"A second chance....I've been given a second chance...." he muttered in disbelief.

Lightly slapping his arm, she chuckled. "Yea, but try not to screw this one up. I don't feel like dying again anytime soon. Got it crabby?"

~fin~