Cryin’

By: Sinead

Lyrics Transcribed on: 9 September 2004

Date Written: 16 January 2005

Date Revised: 30 January 2005

Author’s Note: And here I was hoping that I wouldn’t write another tear-jerker for a while. I definitely got misty-eyed when writing the end of this story. My thanks to those who have allowed me to write this, and especially Miss Special. So that said, I don’t own her (Thank God, ’cause she’d kill me, I’ve seen her with a chainsaw in a picture somewhere), Inferno, her character who Inferno will be changed into (Name will not be released here, but if you can find that pic in my gallery and translate that writing of mine into something legible . . .), and I don’t own Boston, or the song. Even though it’s really cool, really sweet, sappy, and just plain nice. BUY THE CD!!! IT’S SO GREAT!!! . . . especially their title track, “Corporate America” . . . that’s just . . . SO well mixed and all . . . ooooooo . . . *goes and listens to track*

Different eyes with the same old screen

We laugh, we love, we cry from what we’ve seen

“Hey, you awake?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Everyone’s out of the house, finally. Follow me.”

Inferno smiled, and walked through the mirror, only to find that they were facing two humans: a serene girl and a mischievous boy. Inferno blinked at them, then at a shocked Miss Special. “Did you not say that people had left the house?”

It’s crazy, it’s how we feel

We’re staring at the walls and living out of magazines

The girl smiled, and indicated the boy she was standing beside. “Ajax is rather efficient with picking locks. Sorry, but you weren’t online, weren’t answering your phone, and I knew that you were at least at home.”

“Sapph, that’s not fair!” Miss Special said, laughing, crossing her arms across her chest. “You weren’t supposed to get here for another week!”

“Our flight was changed for when we were coming to America, so . . . we thought that it would be a cool idea to road trip for a while.”

“Are the others here?”

Ajax shook his head. “Not for another week, since they had scheduled all their vacations for then.”

Ooh, ooh, cryin’ outside the line

There’s people with disease

Miss Special nodded, then looked out the window, seeing that it was full dark. “All right. That’s good, then.” She looked up at the Predacon. “’Ferno, this is Sapphire and her man, Ajax. He was known as Rattrap in the Wars.”

“You are the Vermin?”

“What? Surprised? Man, c’mon, Inferno, you shoulda guessed. I mean, seriously. Dese good looks? I have all da girls swoonin’!”

“. . . you . . are shorter.”

The young man grumbled at the one thing he should have guessed the Predacon would have noticed. “Gee, thanks.”

If you took a chance, would you like to dance

’Cause my heart is cryin’

As the four made their way to the back woods and the clearing that Miss Special wanted to show Inferno, she couldn’t shake the feeling of foreboding that just managed to twine its way around the small silences, the semi-forced laughter, and the general atmosphere around them. It wasn’t something that was really noticeable, unless someone was to look for it, but then again, it was noticeable enough that it really did feel as if there was something wrong to Miss Special.

She looked up at Inferno, wondering if he felt the same way.

What it would mean to me

It’s like make-believe

“Why do they connect lines between these dots?”

“They show us the different constellations, which are used for finding your position. See that bright one? That’s called Polaris, or the North Star.”

“I assume it points north?”

“Yeah, and it doesn’t really move too much.”

“The stars move?”

And my heart is cryin’, cryin’

Can’t you see my heart is cryin’

Sapphire watched the exchanges, a small part of her heart sad. Miss Special answered every question to the absolute best of her ability for Inferno, but he seemed not to grasp all the notions that she was telling him. And that was worrying Miss Special, somehow. There was something not right here. Something that said to her that . . . that she had seen something like this before. A certain detachment, one that spoke of imminent separation.

Ajax took her hand in his, gently holding her trembling fingers still. His golden hazel eyes spoke volumes, telling her that he saw the same things that she had, and that . . . that he knew. He just knew. He had been Cybertronian. He had seen his own death . . . just as Dinobot, Megatron and Depth Charge had.

Different minds with the same old dreams

We live a life of imaginary means

“What is this constellation?”

“Orion, the Warrior. These three stars here are called ‘Orion’s belt.’ Those stars are . . . lesse . . . those, there. Then you have his shoulders up there, and an arm there and there.”

“And this is . . . Ursa Major?”

“Uh-huh. And if you look at its butt, you’ll see that it looks like a dipper. That’s the Big Dipper.  If you follow those two stars there, they point to the North Star.”

“So that is how you can find your way through wilderness?”

“And how sailors found their way across the seas back before there was any real digital technology that would tell you these things.”

“It . . . it appears to be almost easy.”

“Yeah, but you’d have to triangulate your position to find out how many miles you’ve made out on an ocean that looks the same no matter which direction you’d look in.”

It’s crazy, it’s how we feel

A pilot always tries to fly without a winning pace

“D’you think dat she notices?” Ajax asked softly, almost too softly to really be a whisper.

Sapphire nodded. “She’s taking extra time so that she can fully explain things to him. It’s like he’s almost regressed.”

“He has. I’ve nevuh seen ’im like dis.” Rattrap/Ajax sighed, rubbing at his face for a moment. “Slag, but Don, Mike, even Damien would know what t’ do with dis. I don’t. Dey would know how ta handle sumthin’ dis big. An’ I dunno what . . . what I’d do if . . .”

“Please, don’t think about it. It still hurts.”

“I know. It hurts everyone who’s gone through it.” He sighed, watching as Miss Special watched Inferno with a certain look in her eyes . . . one that spoke of her wish to do anything that could make the Predacon feel safe, calm . . .

Needed.

A runner can never decide to end a winning race

Staring outside, a child’s made a big mistake

Inferno stood, neck craned back so that he could look up at the stars. They shone brightly on the moonless night, and . . . he was peaceful.

Odd.

Knowing that his death was not all that far ahead of him, and he did not mind. He knew that he would come to be with his human soon enough. But . . . how soon was “soon”? He did not want her to hurt. He did not want her soul to be hurting while he was looking for her again.

That was why she was teaching him how to look for constellations. So that he could find her.

If you took a chance, would you like to dance

’Cause my heart is cryin’

“Inferno?”

“Yes?”

“Are you all right?”

The Predacon knelt on one knee so that he was closer to Miss Special. As he looked into the worried eyes that watched his face, darting around, he whispered, “Things are falling apart in my mind. I . . . the logic is not logical, but it is . . . they are . . . distorted. Frayed. What else can I tell you, Miss Special?”

“When.”

“When?”

“When will it happen. I . . . I want to be prepared.”

What it would mean to me

It’s like make-believe

Inferno stood, looked up at the stars again, and was aware that the other two humans were watching them silently. They had been for quite some time, now. He looked at the far side of the clearing, then back at Miss Special. She, in turn, looked once at Sapphire, who in turn nodded once, grinning and putting on a show of tickling Ajax, then started walking. Inferno matched his pace with hers, before resting his hand upon her shoulder timidly. She looked up at him, not losing her footing once. And then he spoke.

“Within the month. Or a week. Time . . . time is not logical anymore.” His optics grew distant. “I do not want to be alone when that time comes. I believe that I fear it.”

And my heart is cryin’, my heart is cryin’

My heart is cryin’

Can’t you see my heart is cryin’

Miss Special felt hot tears fall down her cheeks, but she wiped them away before Inferno could see them. She had asked. She got her answer. She would be there when he needed her the most. The author rested her hand upon Inferno’s, whispering, “If you want me to be there, I will. I will.”

Different minds with the same old dreams

We live a life of imaginary means

Inferno looked down at the young woman. “If you do not wish to . . .”

“Look, ’Ferno, you said that you didn’t want to be alone, right? Then I’ll be there. All . . .” She swallowed, then continued. “All of the others were with their . . . their love when the time came.” She gave a nervous chuckle. “Even though Sinead had to chase a few miles after Dinobot.”

“I . . . feel that I have to apologize to him. For the valley. And I have wanted to apologize to you, and to everyone who knows . . .”

Ooh, ooh, cryin’ outside the line

There’s people with disease

“But you didn’t know any better then, did you. You didn’t see that you would . . .” she stopped, feeling that she had already gone too far.

In an increasingly-more rare moment of complete clarity, Inferno finished her sentence. “I did not see that I would fall in love with one. And here I am.” He sighed, and held onto the moment as long as he could, trying to tell her that with his gaze. “I do not know when I can speak like this again . . . Sara. But I must tell you now that I do love you. And I do not want to have to leave you, so that I can come back to you in a form that will allow me to be with you for as long as is possible. I do not want you to be hurting. Because . . . because . . .”

His optics lost the sharp edge of intelligence, and Inferno blinked once.

If you took a chance, would you like to dance

’Cause my heart is cryin’

Swallowing her tears, Miss Special kept her hold upon Inferno’s hand, even though the most primal of her instincts told her that she should release it. Turning dry eyes up at the Predacon, she whispered, “Are you all right?”

“I said . . . I said something important.”

“Yes. You did. And I thank you.”

What it would mean to me

It’s like make-believe

“It was good?”

“Yes, Inferno. It was good. It was wonderful.”

Inferno nodded, happy that he had given Miss Special a small bit of happiness, whatever he had said to make her smile up at him, for him. Her smiles were rare . . . and he treasured the ones that he remembered her giving to him. And yet she was sad, deep down, and sad was not good for her. Sad was not good for anyone. But he knew that he had made her sad and happy at the same time, somehow. But he was with her, and that was what mattered the most. “Can you tell me about the stars again?”

“All right. Let’s go back this way.”

And my heart is cryin’, my heart is cryin’

My heart is cryin’

Midnight found Inferno back in his quarters at the Predacon base, Ajax on the couch in the living room, and Sapphire camped out in Miss Special’s bedroom.

And it also found a certain pillow upon Miss Special’s bed drenched with silent tears.