By: Starath

Note: To avoid confusion, you should know that the Beast Wars in this series is a little different than the one of the television show because Starath’s presence messed up the timeline. Megatron never attacked the Autobots in the Ark, therefore Optimus didn’t become Optimal Optimus and the Maximals still have the Axalon. Also, Terrorsaur and Dinobot are alive. Lastly, the Beast Wars and its characters belong to Hasbro and Mainframe Entertainment. Special thanks to my two proofreaders! Enjoy the insanity!

The couch was a comfy place to take naps, especially when Depth Charge managed to get in the right position. He sat sideways so his fins flared out on both sides and not bent into painful angles, with his feet propped up on several pillows on the coffee table in front of him. The only place he dared to sleep for long was on this couch, which was in Starath’s house. Her home and the surrounding yard was neutral territory between the Maximals and Predacons; but he wasn’t overly worried about being attacked anyway. No one was dumb enough to try and fight him… well, except for his archenemy. Rampage wasn’t allowed in the house if Depth Charge was already present, and vice versa, a rule Starath created to prevent them from killing each other in her home. For today only Depth Charge was in the house though, so things were very quiet. He managed to nap for several hours until continuous poking on his shoulder brought him out of slumber. He pretended to be asleep for twenty minutes more without moving, which took all the will power he had. The poking was really, really annoying.

“KNOCK IT OFF!” He finally bellowed, then smiled when a startled yelp answered, followed by a huge thump against the wall behind the couch.

“Geez! Depth Charge, are you trying to scare me to death?”

“Since you seemed to be trying your best to annoy me to death, so it’s only fair.”

“Yeah, but, sheez! Yell a little louder and you might blow the roof off.”

“So?”

Starath rubbed her head where it had struck the wall, then leaned on the back of the couch and swatted his shoulder. “Don’t do that! You know I scare easily.”

“So?”

“Dorkbot,” she muttered, resting her chin on the couch edge.

“Yeah, I know I’m a swell guy too.” Depth Charge yawned and stretched out of the position he’d been sleeping in. “What do you want, kid?”

“I’m bored.”

“We all have our issues.”

“Nooooo,” Starath whined, “I’m BORED. All my chores are done, my brother is off with his friends so I can’t play catch with him, I don’t have to be at the Darkside until tonight for my reconnaissance duties, and the Maximals won’t let me into their base since the time I accidentally got silly putty into their computer systems…. There’s nothing to DO. I’m so BORED!”

The large Maximal suppressed a chuckle. Optimus had not been happy about that ‘accident’. It was a shame he’d missed it. For now, though, he had to get Starath to go away if he wanted to get any more sleep.

“Don’t you have three more pictures to draw from that video game book?”

“I’m all drawed out. I gotta wait for my art-ness to recharge.”

“What about all those stories you say you have to get done?”

“I’ve tried continuing them, but I get writer’s block.”

Depth Charge refused to give up. “Why don’t you annoy Grape-face, then?”

“Cuz I annoyed him yesterday and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, too. He said if he saw me before I come in to do my duties tonight he’s gunna scream and tie me upside-down in a tree somewhere where he’ll never see me again.”

Depth Charge blinked. “Really?”

“Or something like that. He was yelling pretty loud, and it’s always hard to understand him when he gets like that.” she shrugged, grinning.

“I see….” And I am VERY grateful I’M not the one she has a crush on. “Well kid, then you’re on your own. I have more sleeping to do.”

“But you’ve been sleeping all DAY!” the girl complained, poking him. “You were sitting here even before I got up this morning!”

“It was more like noon.”

“Whatever. It’s your turn to get up now. Let’s do something!”

“I’d rather not.”

“Pleeeeeease Depth Charge?”

He was about to reply when a cry of outrage erupted through the open basement door at the bottom of the stairs.

“WHERE ARE THEY?”

A panicked voice replied, “I—I don’t know!”

Starath jumped with a start and grabbed one of Depth Charge’s fins before she fell. He helped her back up in a gentle move that sharply contrasted the fury in his narrowed red optics. “X is here!”

“Aw slag. Tarantulas too. Don’t get up!” She pushed him back down onto the cushions when she regained her balance. “I’ll talk to Rampage and figure out what’s up. You two are NOT going to start a war in here!”

“He’s bending the rule again. He knows I was here first,” the Maximal warrior growled, and then mused aloud grimly. “I wonder what his lame excuse is this time…”

“I’ll worry about that, you just stay put. The last thing I need is you two fighting in the basement again.” Starath watched him until he relaxed, only a bit, from a battle-ready pose.

“Hey, we haven’t done that since Landray stuffed X into the freezer down there,” Depth Charge grumbled.

“Which was only a few weeks ago.” Starath reminded him. She watched him a moment longer, then, sure he wouldn’t move, she bounced down the stairs and disappeared into the basement.

Tarantulas felt his feet leave the ground as Rampage picked him up by the front of his armor with death glittering in his emerald optics. The spider struggled as hard as he could to free himself but all he seemed to do was amuse Rampage. Memories of the first encounter he had with monstrous Predacon flashed through his mind. He did NOT want to be torn to pieces again!

“Honest! I didn’t touch them! I have no reason to! Please… just let me go!”

Mixed with pure fear and terror, Rampage’s empathic sense told him that the trembling scientist was telling the truth. Pity… He thought, then smiled coldly, that doesn’t mean I have to let him go, though…

“RAMPAGE!”

He didn’t bother to look at the girl, keeping his optics locked on Tarantulas. Bah! She ruins my fun again!

“Put him down. He didn’t do anything worth bodily harm.” After a pause, Starath eyed the spider with uncertainty. “Right?”

“Yes! I swear it, I didn’t touch his frozen chickens!”

“What? Is that what this is about? Oh, for bootin’ up cold! Ram-page!”

Finally he faced her, looking bored, as if it were perfectly normal to threaten someone’s life for stealing frozen chickens. “Do I have to?”

“Yes! Put him down!”

“Then where are my chickens? Our plans for world domination cannot be delayed!”

“Oh geez…. What IS it with you and—no, I still don’t want to know….” Starath sighed. “Mom hasn’t brought any chickens home for ages, okay? You have no business digging in our freezer anyway! Now put the spider down. He didn’t do anything.”

With great reluctance he dropped Tarantulas, who fell in a heap when his shaking knees couldn’t hold him up. After regaining his breath, he jumped up and ran to Starath and hugged her.

“Thank you thank you thank you! I owe you!”

“—Ack! Erm, you’re welcome, but I’d like to breathe soon!”

Rampage watched them with a frown, disgusted by the hasty display of gratitude. He tapped Tarantulas on the shoulder, who turned automatically.

“BOO!”

“AAAaaarrrrggghh!” Tarantulas fainted on the spot. Starath dodged at the last moment before he could fall on top of her.

“Rampage!” she cried angrily.

“BwahahahahaHAHA! It never fails to amaze me how that always WORKS!”

“Okay, that’s it. You—outside. NOW. You aren’t even supposed to be here to begin with.”

“Hmm… yes, I’m sure old FISH FACE blew a GASKET, DIDN’T HE?”

Rampage purposely spoke loud enough so Depth Charge would hear him upstairs.

“CAN IT, crab cake!” roared the Maximal.

“HEY!” yelled Starath, “NOT in the house!” She glared at Rampage and used the threat she hated to say: “Do I need to get Megs and his spark box?”

Immediately the Predacon crab’s amused disposition vanished. “No.”

“Good. Be careful when you go outside cuz there’s a huge thunderstorm coming in.”

“I won’t bother.” Rampage opened a portal and disappeared into the Beast Wars world.

After a long moment Starath let out a sigh, then nudged Tarantulas with her foot. He was still out cold, and he would need a little time in the CR tank at the Darkside in order to regain consciousness. Well, at least that meant he wouldn’t be haunting his corner of the basement for a while…. She opened a portal right beneath him and he fell through, landing in the CR tank with perfect accuracy. Marching up the stairs she suddenly felt very tired. Depth Charge was still sitting on the couch when she appeared at the top of the stairs.

“Is he gone?”

“Yeah…”

“Good riddance.”

Starath leaned on the back of the couch. “I wish I didn’t have to be so strict with him…”

“You have to be. Otherwise he’d tear you apart. You should consider yourself lucky though, since he seems to tolerate your existence out of curiosity and amusement.”

“Really?”

“Well… you ARE a weird kid.”

“Could be worse. I could be like you instead.” She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Ha! You don’t have the discipline.”

“Sure I do! --Ooo.” Starath saw dark clouds out the kitchen window and scurried to the sliding glass door to look outside. “The storm’s coming in and the wind has kicked up! Depth Charge, c’mon, let’s play in the wind!”

He hauled himself off the couch and went to stand beside her as she started to bounce up and down. Shaking his head, Depth Charge always found it odd how such a playful person was also a Predacon fighter. But he wasn’t like her. “I don’t ‘play’.”

“Sure you can! It’s fun! In high winds like this, it’s like flying but not! Come on!”

“Um… no. I’d be a giant lightning rod out there.”

“There isn’t any lightning yet, silly.” Starath tugged on his hand. “Let’s go!”

Reluctantly the Maximal followed the girl outside, realizing he was going whether he wanted to or not. The wind blew hard with whipping force that threatened to blow the raybot over. Starath climbed onto the railing of the deck and sat down, taking a deep breath. The air was heavy and sweet with the smell of rain. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Thick dark clouds raced in from the northwest.

“Woo! Look at them go!” grinning like a loon she let the wind mess up her hair. “See, this isn’t so bad!”

“The storm does look impressive,” admitted Depth Charge, then turned sideways to reduce the force of the wind blowing at him. Out of the corner of his optic he saw her stand up on the railing. “Hey, what are you—”

“Terrorize!” Starath jumped off and transformed to her robot self. She let the wind push her as she hovered in front of Depth Charge.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it!”

“Warn me before you do that,” he scolded, “The wind could have pushed you off the railing and you could have broken your neck!”

“Hey, I said I was sorry.” She smiled, reminding herself that Depth Charge had become a parental figure and was protective of her. She was glad she’d made friends

with him. A gust of wind suddenly shoved her to the left. Giggling, Starath started flying to the middle of her backyard where it was flat and the wind blew even harder. “Come on Depth Charge!”

“I have NO idea why you find this fun,” he grumbled, fighting the wind that tried to turn him around. Eyeing the grey clouds overhead, he jumped off the deck, running to catch up with the small femmebot flying circles in the air, laughing.

“Wheeeee!”

He watched her, gradually becoming more and more annoyed with the wind. Although he was very heavy, the wind howled at him with relentless force and could move him even if he tried to stand firm against it. Sometimes an aerodynamic form had its disadvantages.

“Are you done yet?” He called.

“No way!” Starath flew down to him, “This is fun! Just let the winds carry you!”

“I’m a bit big for that. It just wants to blow me over. And besides, the thunder is getting closer. We should really go inside before the lightning arrives.” He grabbed her hand and started to pull her back towards the house.

“Aaaaaawww! But Depth Char—”

They heard the tremendous crash of thunder before they saw the blinding lightning flash. The two friends were thrown apart and landed a few yards away from the smoldering scar left by lightning. Rain began falling, gently at first, then came down in great torrents of water that pounded the earth. Sheet lightning speared the clouds in bursts of white and blue, then took to striking the ground as if punishing its existence. Small round pellets of hail fell. Time froze when lightning flashed, suspending the hail in midair. More rain melted the hail pellets but it was falling softly now. The vicious lightning moved on, now only speaking as rumbles in the distance. Black clouds followed and the summer storm left as quickly as it came.

Starath woke up with a terrific headache. Her optics flickered on and water droplets filled her immediate vision. Shaking her head she watched the droplets fly off and regretted it when her head pounded in protest. After a moment she activated her optics again. She was on her back on the wet grass staring at a grey sky. Out of her view the sun emerged from the clouds. The sudden brightness aggravated her headache and she raised her hand to block it off. At first she reveled in the shade, resting, when something occurred to her. Since when was her hand that silver? And last she checked she had five fingers, not four. Her gaze trailed down her arm. A massive arm. It had to be at least a foot and a half thick.

“What the--!”

She jack-knifed upright. Ignoring her disagreeable headache she checked her other hand. It was also silver atop a barrel-like forearm. It was purple. And blue. She also had the sensation of weighing much more than usual. Turning her head she saw rain-splattered fins. A groan from several feet away made her turn. There, a small purple and silver body—her body—was getting up on its own. For a moment she and the other bot stared at each other. Recoiling back, they screamed.

“Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!”

Starath gasped for breath. “Depth Charge?”

Crystal blue optics widened. “Kid?”

They screamed again.

“Aaaaaaahhhh!”

“I’m you!”

“I’m YOU!”

“How did this—”

“This can’t possibly be—”

“Aaaaahhhh!”

“Aaaaaahhh!”

“Oh this is so WRONG! I’m supposed to be a girl! Now I’m a boy! I even sound like you! Ew ew EW!”

“Oh Primus I sound like a whiny girl! X would never let me hear the end of this!”

“No wonder you’re so grumpy! I can’t smile!” Starath wailed in his deep voice.

“And you have all this energy! No wonder you’re so blasted hyper!”

By now Depth Charge had gotten up and was pacing frantically back in forth while Starath watched, sniffling. She wiped at a tiny pug-like nose.

“Maaan, this just sucks.” She complained.

“No friggin’ slag. I feel so weak in this body!”

“Hey!”

“Well, comparatively, you are! And we are in deep trouble!”

“Why?”

“X! Think about it! If he knew that you were me and I was you, he’d take the opportunity to bring you down! I’m the only one strong enough to fight him effectively!”

Starath crossed her arms and pouted, something that looked very bizarre on Depth Charge’s face. “Hey, I can fight him too, y’know.”

“You could but you wouldn’t know how! X would rip you apart in a nanosecond and then come after everybody else. There would be no one left to stop him. He’d be free to destroy and kill like he’s done before and I would be nigh powerless!” Depth Charge’s newly acquired feminine voice squeaked out the last word as he kept pacing, working himself into a hyper frenzy. Starath was still sitting in the wet grass and reached out to catch him before he paced a furrow into the ground.

“Would you chill for a minute?” Not used to Depth Charge’s strength she inadvertently pulled him down beside her. “Okay fine, you might be right about Rampage but this isn’t the end of the world. This has happened before.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. It happened before you were a frequent visitor. Optimus and Megatron swapped bodies once a few years ago on Megatron’s birthday. Yeah, it was freaky but within about three hours they were swapped back right where they were supposed to be. Tarantulas fixed it. All we have to do is find him at the Pred base and then—”

“Absolutely not!” Depth Charge was already on his feet and pacing again. Starath huffed.

“Why?”

“Because that’s where X may be!”

“Rampage isn’t at the Darkside very often, if at all. He’s only around if Megatron needs him for something.”

“Neither is the spider. Even I know that. We go to the Maximal base. Maybe Rhinox can do something.”

“Depth Charge…”

“No! I will not risk bumping into X!”

She narrowed a red optic at him. “So you’d rather have Rattrap laugh at our butts instead?”

He paused in his tracks, cringing at the thought. “… Yes.”

“Alright, suit yourself. I guess I should attempt to get up now… This is sooo weird…It’s like you’re talking to me, only not cuz I’m you and you’re me…” Starath hefted herself up, only to wobble like a giant toddler and fall down with a resounding thud. She took a breath. “Geez! What do you weigh, a ton?”

“About three tons,” He corrected.

“Hmmm… must be all those sour gummy worms you like so much.”

“Shut up and stand up, kid. I’m supposed to be that heavy!”

“Hey, are you saying I’m fat?”

“No, I’m saying I’M fat!”

“ ….. That still sounds wrong.”

“Wait… no… Never mind. Just get up!”

“I’m trying to!”

“Obviously not enough!”

Starath let out a hearty laugh. “You know, to anyone else this would sound like I’m bossing YOU around? Whoa,” She finally managed to remain steady on her feet and took in the view. “Geez you’re tall…” Depth Charge seemed like a small child in her body when he stood next to her. “Wow! I feel like I can take on the world!” She shadow-boxed a couple punches until Depth Charge stomped on her foot. “OW!”

He watched with little compassion as she hopped around on one foot in exaggerated agony.

“Knock it off. We have to go to the Maximal base.” He took to the air with surprising agility and flitted to and fro in front of Starath. “You’re a slagging feather!”

“ I know! Ain’t I neat?” Somehow Starath managed to make Depth Charge’s face look incredibly cheerful. At the same time, Depth Charge was putting nonexistent frown creases on Starath’s face.

“I cannot WAIT until this is done and over with,” he grumbled.

After a bit of trial and error (which included several minor accidents), Starath gave up trying to fly with Depth Charge’s anti-gravity jets and transformed to flight mode when they crossed over to the Beast Wars world. Ordinarily they could have appeared right in front of the Axalon but Depth Charge wanted some time to figure out a script of what they would do and say simply to get things done. Unfortunately their trip took longer than he wanted because Starath kept insisting on doing loop-the-loops and barrel rolls in the sky no matter how many times he told her to stop. Depth Charge thought he had the solution when he decided to sit on top of the flying manta. Until she took him on a trip that could easily be called The Corkscrew Of Doom if it were made into a roller coaster attraction. Needless to say, by the time they arrived at the Axalon Starath was happily exhausted and Depth Charge had an unhealthy green tint in his face.

When the flipped friends arrived at the Maximal base it took some persuading to convince Optimus of the situation. He wasn’t about to allow Starath into his base after the silly putty incident. He was finally convinced when Starath saw a cute bunny rabbit, squealed, and went after it. The sight of “Depth Charge” cooing to a tiny furry bunny disturbed the other Maximals at first. And then they laughed their skidplates off. Depth Charge vowed to wring Dinobot’s neck as soon as he was placed in his rightful body because of some of the comments the raptor made about “soft-hearted warriors”. The only reason why he didn’t then and there was because he had more pressing concerns…

Soon enough he, Optimus and Rhinox were in a tight room where Rhinox built and stored all his technical gadgets. The green scientist had cleared a space on one of his workbenches and piled a messy stash of technical components on the top. Starath was not present because she felt too claustrophobic in the Maximal base while in such a big form and stayed outside with her new pet bunny Skippy. Rhinox sorted through the pile of components, pausing only to pull a lamp closer to the workbench. He frowned while inspecting the various gears, power supplies and bundles of wire. Depth Charge was pacing on one side of the room, unable to keep still. It was literally hard to do. He was making a mental note not to scold Starath next time she unceasingly bounced around when Rhinox straightened up on his stool with a grunt.

“I’m afraid I can’t do it,” he announced.

“WHAT?” Depth Charge cried, wincing when the female quality of his voice made it a high-pitched shriek.

“Sure you can, big guy.” Optimus patted his old friend’s shoulder, making an effort to keep a straight face. He wouldn’t allow himself to show that he found Depth Charge’s and Starath’s predicament rather funny. Rhinox shook his head.

“Nope. I don’t have all the parts I’d need, and some of what I do have is slightly damaged. Plus, I’ve only heard of Tarantulas’ invention and never saw it. I haven’t any idea how he made the device in the first place.”

“Great! Just GREAT!” Depth Charge flailed without even realizing it. “So we have to find the spider or I’m going to be STUCK like this?”

“It could be worse.” Offered Optimus quietly, keeping his expression one of concern.

“Shove it, Primal! I’m in a girl’s body, for bootin’ up cold! There isn’t much worse than this, than, I don’t know, having swapped with X! And do you have ANY idea what he’s going to do when he finds out? Starath doesn’t have a chance and we’re all going to screwed!”

The Transmetal Maximal opened the door to the room, and, unable to stop himself, asked,

“That’s too bad. Do you need some chocolate to make you feel better?”

At his workbench Rhinox snorted in suppressed laughter. Depth Charge glared at him then switched his venomous gaze to Optimus. What he couldn’t admit was the thought of chocolate did sound very tempting. Optimus’ serious look wavered when a smile threatened to take over his face.

“I swear, Primal…”

“I’m sorry… heh heh… Did you… heehee… want a… hahaha... hug instead?”

Optimus couldn’t hold it any longer. He laughed. And Depth Charge did swear before leaving the room.

The atmosphere of the bridge of the Axalon did little to improve Depth Charge’s mood. He emerged from a hallway to find Cheetor and Dinobot lying on the floor, laughing so hard cleaning fluid ran from their optics. Rattrap’s condition wasn’t much better but he had at least managed to stay in his chair. Silverbolt stood behind him, watching the monitor screen that showed a view directly outside the Axalon. He didn’t know about the current situation and was very puzzled as to why he was seeing ‘Depth Charge’ singing. Yes, singing.

“Is there life after looooove? I can feel something inside myself, but I really don’t think I’m strong enough, nooOOOoooo…”

Silverbolt was about to comment on the song choice when the purple robot in the hallway let loose a string of profanity that made him blush. From his chair, Rattrap gasped for breath, saw Depth Charge scowling at them through Starath’s ice blue optics, and started laughing all over again. Meanwhile, Silverbolt spun around.

“Miss Starath! Such language coming from a lady like yourself is unacceptable! You must be spending too much time with that Depth Charge fellow—”

“#$#$ off, Dogface!”

Rattrap, Cheetor and Dinobot started new fits of laughter when Maximal-in-Predacon’s clothing left the bridge down one of the manlifts. Silverbolt’s shocked expression inspired Rattrap to join his comrades rolling on the floor.

“Da best part is I got everythin’ on TAPE!” He cackled.

Starath was having a good time. She easily became bored after building a “pen” for her new bunny Skippy out of rocks and random bits of metal, so she decided she’d sing for her pet. The rabbit watched in confusion, or perhaps amazement, when she launched into one song after another. Starath loved to sing and was thrilled to find that despite being so low, Depth Charge’s voice was smooth enough to carry any tune she wanted. She was halfway through Cher’s “Is there life after love?” when the proper owner of the body she was trapped in came ripping off the manlift and was in her face.

“Are you INSANE?” Depth Charge demanded, this time not caring that he sounded like a typical fuming female.

“I like to think so, yes.” She answered, somehow grinning.

“Are you TRYING to destroy my reputation on PURPOSE? I don’t sing! EVER! That rodent has RECORDED you!”

“Oh really? Cool!”

“No, NOT cool! They are NEVER going to let me forget this!”

“Whoa, geez dude, calm down. There’s no need to get so pissy. Is my body going through PMS?”

“How the slagging heck would I KNOW? Don’t EVER sing again until we’re swapped back!”

“Aaaw, Depth Charge…” she whined.

“And don’t whine! I do NOT whine! And stop being so happy! I am NOT happy!”

“Only if YOU stop looking like you want to kill someone! I don’t kill people!”

They stared at each other for a long moment in angry silence until Starath grinned again.

“Want to know what songs I sang?”

“NO!” Depth Charge hovered ramrod-stiff in front of her and could barely hear the Maximals in the Axalon erupt into new laughter. “We have more important things to do. Rhinox can’t build us something to change us back. We have to find Tarantulas.”

This time Starath made an expression Depth Charge always used: A smug one. “Told you so.”

“Oh shuddup. Do we have to go to the Predacon base?”

“Hmmm… Well, I dropped Tarry into a CR tank since Rampage scared the slag out of him. He should still be there, so at least we know exactly where he is and won’t have to go hunting all over for him.”

“Good.” Depth Charge let out a long sigh, rubbing at his head. Optimus’ suggestion of chocolate lingered in his mind. Why did it still sound so good?

When the Maximals recovered enough to speak intelligently they agreed to take care of Skippy until things were back to normal. After a tearful goodbye to the bunny (which caused the Maximals even more spasmodic laughter) Starath allowed Depth Charge to ride on the broad manta ray’s head as she flew to the Darkside. Again they attempted to make a plan of approach. They agreed that they had to act like who they looked like this time in case Rampage was around. Starath was worried, though, because Maximals were not allowed into the Predacon base very often. In the end they decided that they would have to simply bluff their way through. Unfortunately obstacles were thrown their way as soon as they arrived. The first one was the perimeter autoguns that nearly shot them both down. Worn and ragged they met their second obstacle: Inferno.

“You know very well that enemies of the colony are not permitted here, drone! And nor are you! The Royalty commanded that you are not to be here until tonight!”

Depth Charge did his best to sound like chipper Starath, which, with her voice, was disturbingly easy.

“It’s okay Inferno, I promise not to bother him! We just want to find something, that’s all!”

He even flashed the pretty blue optics, and took a glance up at Starath, deciding to get even for the singing she did earlier. “Besides, you know how much I wuv my widdle Megsie-Wegsie! Teehee! I know when to leave him alone!”

The display of affection made the Predacon ant uncomfortable but he stayed firm, blocking the main entry. “Pah! Lies! You would bother the Queen any chance you had! Now begone, drone, and you, enemy of the colony!” He waved his massive gun for emphasis.

“Aaaww, pweeeeez?” pouted Depth Charge, “I know you’re a big strong inse—erm, buggy, but you’re smart too! Won’t you please let us in?”

Starath was annoyed. Sure, sometimes she pleaded her teammates but she didn’t talk like that! She chose to see if she could act like the true-blue Depth Charge. Stepping up to Inferno she simply shoved him aside and grumbled.

“Out of my way. I don’t have time for this. Come on Starath, let’s get what we came for.”

“Halt! Drone, assist me in destroying the invader!” Ordered Inferno, bringing up his gun to fire. Depth Charge was about to tell him off when Starath lumbered right up to the Predacon and leaned down into his face.

“Shoot me and you will find your bloated butt punted halfway across the lava pits. You got that, insect?”

For a moment Depth Charge was shocked at how genuine she sounded, then recovered quickly enough to add, “Yeah, we’re just going to find something, no big deal! C’mon DC!” Taking a silver hand he pulled it into the Predacon base.

He was about to compliment Starath on her convincing performance when the two friends found their third obstacle. Or, rather, he found them. Inferno had radioed Megatron on a panic. The Predacon leader intercepted them in the main chamber just before reaching the silver pools of the CR tanks. He stomped down the deckway so hard the sheet metal rattled, going right past Starath and heading straight for Depth Charge, who of course he thought was Starath.

“YOU!”

Grabbing an ankle he lifted the smaller robot off the ground and held him upside-down. “Come to annoy me again, have you? Not this time, nooo…”

Depth Charge squirmed, attempting to bend up high enough to grab Megatron’s hand. “Let go of me you Predacon filth!”

Megatron froze, his optics popping out in anger. He audibly ground his teeth together. “How DARE you talk like that to ME! And WHAT did I tell you about coming here BEFORE you were supposed to? This is it Starath. I am going to find the most desolate, isolated tree and HANG YOU FROM IT so you will leave me ALONE!”

“We weren’t going to bother you anyway!” Depth Charge continued struggling unsuccessfully and cursed. HE was the one used to being bigger than everyone else, not the other way around! Megatron began marching away still raging about how he would find that certain far-away tree but Depth Charge managed to make himself heard above it all.

“Don’t just stand there! Help me!”

Starath had to admit that she was grateful Depth Charge was receiving her Commander’s fury instead of her. She sighed. Still, it wasn’t right to let Megatron tie up her friend when she was the one who had been annoying him too much. Sheesh… Didn’t Megatron know it was her way of saying she liked him? She winced at the high volume he was bellowing at. I guess not. Catching up with the Predacon she automatically tried reasoning with him.

“Megs, put him down! That’s not me! That’s Depth Charge!”

He spun around, swinging Depth Charge with him. The misplaced Maximal groaned when his stomach heaved. “What nonsense are you spouting? Get out of my sight! You shouldn’t even be here, I don’t CARE if you’re one of her friends!”

Considering the matter closed, Megatron headed to one of the Darkside’s exits. Starath watched him, hurt that she’d been completely disregarded. The hurt quickly became frustration. So he doesn’t believe I’m not Depth Charge? Fine! Then Depth Charge he shall GET! She marched up behind him and slipped a hand under one of Megatron’s air turbines, lifting him off the ground.

“I said put him down NOW!” She thundered.

Megatron was not used to this. Gulping, he automatically released the cursing ‘bot. Depth Charge landed in a roll, stopping himself just before he fell off the deckway. He stared at the lava below with wide optics and pressed a hand to his chest to stop the frightened pounding of his spark. He scooted away from the edge and carefully stood up, facing a bewildered, scowling Megatron and a grinning Starath.

“Thanks kid.”

“No problem.” she replied, but wasn’t about to put Megatron down yet. She liked that she was holding Megatron four feet from the floor. I could get used to this… Twisting her arm she brought them face-to-face.

“Wha-what do you want?” He squirmed to dislodge himself and snarled, “This had better be good, Maximal!”

“Megs, it’s me!” She managed to chirp through Depth Charge’s deep voice.

“Starath and I have swapped bodies,” Depth Charge clarified.

Megatron went limp. His jaw dropped open. “What…?”

“Yup! We’re here cuz we need to know where Tarantulas is! Do you know?”

“My dear Starath…” the Predacon mumbled, apparently in shock. Starath blinked, snapping her fingers in front of his dull optics.

“Megs? Helloooo?”

“This… cannot be... real…”

“Uh… I think he’s broken.”

“She’s… become a he…”

“Set him down here so I can kick him where the sun don’t shine,” suggested Depth Charge.

The threat coming from a female voice registered in Megatron’s mind. He instantly snapped out of his trance.

“You will do NO such thing!”

“Yay! He’s fixed!”

Megatron huffed, attempting to regain some dignity. “Yess, I am, now would you PUT me DOWN?”

Starath promptly dropped him. He brushed himself off, trying to show some composure.

“How did this happen?” he demanded.

“We’ll tell you later. Where’s Tarantulas?”

“How would I know where that blasted spider is? He left a megacycle ago after recovering in the CR tank!”

Depth Charge flinched. “Do you have any idea where he might be?”

“No.” Suddenly Megatron sounded very weary. He looked from Starath to Depth Charge. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go lie down…” He trudged away, muttering to himself. “I’m getting too old for this…”

Scarcely had the Predacon leader been gone for a minute when Starath spun on Depth Charge. He halted her in mid-I-told-you-so and said they should simply start hunting Tarantulas down. And so the two body-swapped bots left the Darkside. But not before running into another problem. Just before stepping into the sunlight, Starath stopped in the shadows.

“Uh oh.”

Depth Charge was in front of her, already outside. He let out an exasperated sigh. All he wanted to do was get back into his rightful body so he’d stop feeling so hyper. And hungry. And pissy. And hungry. And he wanted some chocolate. He’d never even had any before, and here he was craving it! If he didn’t get some soon he didn’t know what would happen. He might go into a sob-fest or something.

“What?”

“Um… is it a bad thing when a bright red blip suddenly appears on your radar?”

“Red blip…?” His chocolate-occupied mind took a second to realize what it meant. “That’s X!”

“It is? Where?” Not used to using radar, Starath started searching the area visually. She spotted Rampage a little ways off, heading for the base’s entrance. “Aw crap! What do I do?”

“Just act like I would! Don’t let him push you around or anything! Keep your emotions in check! Your life and everyone else’s depends on it!”

“Oh geez, okay. I can do this. And you have to act like me. Be happy to see him!”

“Are you insane?”

“We’ve already covered that! Just shut up then and I’ll handle it!” I hope, she silently added.

Rampage was not in a good mood. He trundled along the lava-hardened landscape in tank mode, grumbling. The afternoon’s events had rubbed him the wrong way. Megatron had called him in for “important business”. Whatever it was, it was surely to become an excuse for the tyrant to torture him. One of these days, my ‘Master’… And again the human girl had ruined his fun. He didn’t quite understand why he put up with her. Was it because she was so easy to scare? Yes, the entertainment value was definitely there. That and he had to keep her alive if he wanted any more stories written about him, which she hadn’t done for awhile. A nasty smirk crossed his crab face. He should give her a little motivation in the next couple of days. The thought brightened his mood a little. A sensation caught his attention and his mood improved even more. There were two sparks nearby that he knew. Well well well, if it isn’t the girl herself and my old friend… Rampage transformed to robot mode, eager to see if he could antagonize Depth Charge into a fight. That would definitely put him in a better mood.

Approaching them he saw Starath standing just outside of the Darkside’s entrance and Depth Charge’s red optics in the shadows. He could sense that they both were nervous and grinned evilly. He tended to have that effect on people.

“Greetings, old friend!”

“Slag off, X.”

Ignoring Starath he pushed past her and got right into Depth Charge’s face. “Always a fine thing to see you too! Nice day for a scrap, isn’t it?”

“Why? Feeling lucky, punk?”

Beside him Starath slapped a hand to her face, shaking her head. Rampage took a quick look at her, momentarily puzzled. Depth Charge’s words sounded tough, but the anger he always kept locked down wasn’t beneath it all. Instead, Starath seemed to be harboring some anger while Depth Charge felt nervous enough to jitter himself straight into the lava pits. A pleasant thought, at least.

“I always do, knowing I have such a playmate like you! You’re so much more fun, not like the rest on Omicron…”

Depth Charge straightened up, crossing his arms, narrowing his optics. “Go ahead X. Make my day.”

“Oh brother…” mumbled Starath.

Rampage was now confused. A comment like that would have gotten a hotter reaction than that. His sharp emerald optics glanced at the two bots in front of him. Something wasn’t right. Something he couldn’t place. Their nervousness nearly suffocated him. They were hiding something… but what? He decided to pry on Starath.

“Taking our friend on a base tour, were you, child?”

The femme flinched, gritted her teeth, then noticeably forced a grin. “No, I just wanted to show him something. We really should be going now, though!”

“Oh, so soon?” Rampage feinted disappointment, roughly patting Depth Charge on the shoulder. “I think we should talk some more, don’t you?”

He didn’t jerk away as quickly as he should have, but he did, giving the crab a hard stare. “Not now. I’ll wipe the floor with you later, X.”

The pair left while Rampage was stunned, leaving him in the shade of the Darkside. Depth Charge never turned down a chance to fight him! He should feel insulted, but curiosity overcame injury. Whatever Megatron wanted him for could wait. He had to know what they were hiding. Rampage transformed to beast mode and scuttled after them, careful to stay hidden.

Starath could not stop shaking. She felt like she had stared a demon in the optics and survived. She’d talked to Rampage before, but it was an entirely different matter when she was eyelevel with him and every fiber of her body screamed take him down. Raising a silver hand she could see it still trembling. Depth Charge walked in front of her, grumbling.

“Well? How’d I do?” Even her voice shook.

“Just fine, minus a small detail…”

“Oh?”

“Since WHEN do I talk like Clint Eastwood? I don’t watch movies!”

“Here’s lookin’ at you, kid.” She mimicked the fancy finger-pointing move of most males and grinned.

“Stoppit!” Depth Charge turned and went into a fit. “We have more serious things to do! We have to find Tarantulas! Otherwise we’re going to be STUCK like this and we may not be so lucky with X next time!”

“…Are you sure that’s not PMS?”

“Starath!”

“Well you’re the tracker guy! You find him!”

“Your body doesn’t have the instruments I have!”

“Hey, I can track things too, you know.”

“The only thing you could track down is a chocolate bar!” Depth Charge paused, blinking off his optics as if imagining something. Mmmm… chocolate… He almost started drooling.

“Umm… are you okay?”

He snapped his optics back on and growled. “Of course.”

“Okay… But you’ve been acting really weird…”

“I’m fine.” He took a breath. “Let’s just find the spider so we can fix this.”

Starath had an idea. “Why don’t we just radio him? His lair is hidden but I think it can get radio transmissions. You’d better call him though, in case he blocks Maximal frequencies.”

Luckily they were able to talk to Tarantulas. Once again it took some persuading before he was convinced of the situation. Like the Maximals he found it amusing and hesitated on helping them, but Starath called him on a solid “You owe me or next time I’ll let Rampage eat you.” Predictably he was all for assisting them after hearing that. Since he wouldn’t allow them near his main lair, Tarantulas gave them the coordinates to a smaller cave nearby and agreed to meet them there. Filled with new hope Starath and Depth Charge flew to a desolate area covered in strange rock formations and hollowed-out hills. They landed near a pile of rocks surrounded by scratchy sagebrush. Starath transformed from flight mode and was pleased when she was able to make a solid impact on the earth rather than an uncontrolled collapse.

“Heh! I’m getting better at being you!”

Depth Charge ignored her, scanning the plain. “This is where we’re supposed to be. Where’s that slagging spider?” He wanted OUT of Starath’s body. He craved chocolate so badly he’d kill for it.

The bushes rustled and parted, revealing a dark entrance. A raspy voice came from behind the bushes.

“In here, quickly! Watch your head!”

Starath promptly whacked her head on the low cave roof.

CLANG!

“Ow!”

“Teeheehee! I warned you!”

The cave was warm and snug, perfectly camouflaged behind the massive sagebrush bushes. Tarantulas’ light bugs illuminated the area as they crawled around the roof of the cavern, adding their brightness to strangely colored liquids bubbling on a small table. A computer and scanning system was set into the far wall next to a dark hole that was the cave’s alternate entry. Shelves of half-finished and busted inventions lined the walls. A workbench was in the middle of the room, covered by empty flasks, flickering Bunsen burners and Waspinator’s left arm. A soldering iron smoked next to an unrecognizable contraption never seen before on the planet. Tarantulas let them look around for a few moments, chuckling nervously.

“I’ll, tehhehheh, see what I can do for you.”

“Waspy’s been looking for that arm,” commented Starath. She sat down in an unoccupied corner so she’d be out of the spider’s way.

“Hmm? Oh. I’m sure he’ll, heh heh, find a new one.” Tarantulas went to a low metal box and started punching in the 42-character combination. Depth Charge paced impatiently.

“So you’ll be able to switch us back, right?” he asked.

The Predacon made a mistake on the twenty-ninth character and had to start over. “I believe so, yes.”

“You ‘believe so’?”

This time he accidentally flipped several characters around and started over again. “I can’t guarantee anything since it wasn’t my device that caused you to change bodies in the first place.”

“What?” He shrieked.

Starath sighed. “Tarry, do I sound like that all the time?”

“Teeheeheehaha, yes. Especially when hyper.”

“Sheesh. I didn’t know I sounded so annoying.”

“I’m not annoying or hyper!” protested Depth Charge.

“Amazing what we learn when we change bodies, isn’t it? Aha!” Tarantulas popped the combination lock off the box and opened the heavy metal lid. He shifted a few trays around to get to the lower shelves. He pulled out a device that looked like a nasty mutation between a hair dryer and food processor. “Here we are!”

“That’s it?” Depth Charge had never seen the Spark-Swapping Raygun and made a face, backing off. Tarantulas hefted his invention proudly.

“Yep!”

“Yay!” cheered Starath from the corner.

The Predacon spider adjusted several dials and knobs on the menacing object, muttering calculations to himself. When he was sure it was ready, he beckoned Depth Charge.

“Go stand by Starath. This has a controllable range but it never hurts to be careful.”

“Finally!” He went over to her and looked expectantly at Tarantulas. “Well?”

Chuckling, he decided not to point out that the Maximal had actually skipped into position. He and Starath exchanged glances. She wasn’t going to tell him either. Supporting the barrel of the Spark-Swapping Raygun with one hand Tarantulas pulled the trigger. At the back of the gun a gear whirred inside the glass food-processing jar. A red glow filled the empty space. The red light traveled through two tubes to the front of the gun where it gathered just inside the wide barrel. The light became more intense and the whirring noise reached a high whine. Depth Charge and Starath winced, drawing back but staying put. They waited… and waited… and waited…. And the Raygun sputtered, belched, and died.

Tarantulas coughed, wafting a hand to clear the air. Thin wisps of smoke threaded themselves out of the main circuitry. He yelped, tossing the Raygun onto his workbench. He blew on his fingers to cool them while Starath and Depth Charge blinked their optics online.

“Umm… I don’t think it worked…” said Starath.

“Noooo!” wailed Depth Charge.

“It didn’t.” grumbled Tarantulas.

“Why?”

“Who cares why! Just fix it! I want to be normal again!”

“Were you at all to begin with?”

“Shuddup Star!”

“Quiet, both of you!” snapped the scientist. He cautiously poked at his invention, his yellow visor lowering to a frown. “Hmmm… Looks like some bad wiring caused it to overheat…”

“Can you fix it?”

Tarantulas transferred his frown to Depth Charge, his ego bruised by the question. “Of

course I can.”

“Hooray! Then please hurry!”

Starath stretched, leaning back on the cave wall. For once she felt mellow and not hyperactive. “DC, you’re still acting weird…”

“I am not! And how can you be so relaxed?”

“Because I’m not worried. Tarry can fix it, and then—” A red screen of three concentric circles popped up in her vision. A bright red dot blinked next to the second circle. “Uh oh.”

“What?”

Across the room Tarantulas’ scanner beeped an urgent alarm. The computer monitor beside it came online and showed a green marker moving towards the cave’s location. The Predacon scurried over to the display, taking in all the information at once.

“Oh no!” He cried.

Starath stood up. “Okay, NOW I’m worried.”

“What?” asked Depth Charge anxiously, looking at them both. His mind was

occupied by the need to return his own body and chocolate bars, so he didn’t know what was wrong. Tarantulas frantically told him.

“It’s Rampage! He’s followed you two here! I have to get out of here before he finds me!” He headed towards the back exit of the cave. “Every spider for himself!”

“Hey wait!” called Depth Charge.

Starath snatched the back of his armor. “Hold it, you’re not going anywhere. You have to fix your Raygun.”

“Slag the gun! That psycho has it in for me!”

“He has it in for everyone,” she dragged the spider back to his workbench. “Fix your invention. I’ll meet him before he gets here and keep him distracted.”

“You can’t do that!” protested Depth Charge.

“Yeah! I’m out of here!”

She caught him again and plunked him down, leaning into his face. “I said, fix your gun. Don’t argue with me or Rampage will be the LEAST of your worries.”

“O-okay,” If he hadn’t known better he would have thought he was talking to the real Depth Charge. “Go out the back way. You’ll come up amongst rock piles and brush. It’ll keep him from seeing the front entrance if you go out that direction.”

“Right.” She stepped into the tunnel. “DC, you help him if he needs it. And shoot him if he tries to take off.”

“Okie-dokie, Star!” Without a second thought he saluted, complete a goofy grin.

Tarantulas glanced at him. “You two have been swapped for WAY too long.”

The tunnel was dark and cramped, making progress slow. If anything, it gave Starath plenty of time to think. And get nervous. What on Earth possessed her to voluntarily face Rampage again? There hadn’t been any hesitation about it. She didn’t see a low-hanging protrusion of rock and smashed her head into it. Grumbling, she rubbed at the resulting dent and looked ahead. Faint light brightened red rock in a waterfall of illumination. The tunnel ended abruptly where the rock turned sharply to the right, making a rough stairway to the surface. She heaved herself up through the hole and panicked when her fins trapped her tightly, half in, half out of the tunnel.

“Aw no! Not now! C’mon…” She wiggled, wrapping the great blue fins as close as she could to her body. “C’mon, please let me through… HA!” Starath popped out of the hole and ended up in sitting position on top of a massive pile of rocks. She let her feet dangle over the edge until she stood up to survey the area. Her radar said Rampage was very close, but she couldn’t see him yet. Her nervousness climbed a few more notches, so she tried fighting it with a pep talk.

“Everything will be fine, I know it! Tarantulas will fix his gun and we’ll be all set! And Rampage isn’t that bad of an enemy! I can take him! Hahahaha!” Laughing heartily she struck a brave pose with hands on her hips and chin out, ready to take on whatever happened.

“Oh, can you, my friend?”

“Gaaaaaaahhh!” Starath dove down the rock pile and just about dropped herself back into the hole she came from. After a quiet moment she peeked out from underneath her fins. Rock crunched on the ridge above her. Rampage leaned down, scorn and amusement sparkling in his optics.

“My, isn’t someone a little jumpy today?”

She leapt up, clearing her throat. “Yes! Well, soon enough I won’t be the only one, X!”

As soon as the words left her voice processor she grimaced. Where did that Depth Charge-coolness go that she had earlier? It may have left the same time she had the slag scared out of her. She forced herself not to fidget under Rampage’s fierce gaze.

“Uh huh.” He said, clearly unconvinced of her performance. “Out with it, Fins. What are you hiding?”

“Hiding? Me? No, never from you!” Starath could have sweated nails. She climbed to the top of the rock pile so the crab wouldn’t have a height advantage over her.

“Am I going to have to force it from you?”

“Eh heh, I’d rather you didn’t…” She nearly punched herself. That did not sound like Depth Charge! Mortified, she watched him whip out his missile launcher.

“But it will be so much more FUN this way! Oh hohohoHAHAHAHA!”

A huge red missile with atomic death written on its nosecone came streaking towards her. Starath stood petrified, unable to think. Suddenly she found herself copying a move she’d once seen Depth Charge do. Spinning gracefully she kicked out and booted the missile back in Rampage’s direction. The ridge he stood on exploded violently, throwing him backwards with a roar. He skidded across the ground and his missile launcher bounced out of reach. Panting, Starath watched him try to arise, her spark pounding in her throat. He was not happy, if the furious growls she heard were any indication. With a lack of a better idea she turned tail and ran.

Since she wasn’t sure of where the cave that protected her friends was hidden Starath made for open ground, away from the cliffs. When she thought she’d covered enough distance she slowed, puffing. Depth Charge’s body obviously wasn’t meant for running long distances. Checking behind her she saw no sign of Rampage. Her radar screen showed him far enough away to make her feel relatively safe. Leaning on a rock formation she sought refuge in its shade. Now what? I really, really don’t want to fight him if I can help it. I’d be at a disadvantage and I consider him a friend anyway. She doubted that would make any difference to Rampage, even if she told him the truth. It would be his chance to take down his mortal enemy, albeit indirectly. Then again, I really don’t want to die either! Depth Charge was right; if she was destroyed then the gate to chaos would open. Crap crap crap… Reaching behind her she pulled out the sleek remora-shaped rifle and held it close to her side. If it comes to that, so be it. Then a large flat rock moved beside her foot.

“Hey Starath!”

“Eeeek!” She blasted at the talking shadow.

Tarantulas ducked his head just in time. Gravel ricocheted off his helmet. He scowled at her. “A fine way to treat someone who’s trying to HELP you!”

“Oh for the sake of Primus, you SCARED me!” she snapped back.

He pulled himself out of the hole. Depth Charge followed bringing the Spark-Swapping Raygun with him.

“How did you handle X?” He wanted to know.

“Umm… Carefully…”

“You ran away, didn’t you?”

“Like you can BLAME me? He’s madder than the Pit right now because of the stunt I pulled!”

Depth Charge grinned mischievously. “Then you did well.”

“That’s great to know but is the gun fixed now?”

“Hmph! Don’t bother to say a ‘thank you’ for tracking you out here or fixing the slagging thing!” grumbled Tarantulas.

“Tarry, this is a LITTLE more important right now!” The red dot on Starath’s radar was getting closer. “We’ll thank you later!”

“Promise…?”

“If you don’t hurry up I’ll let Rampage eat you!”

“Alright, alright! Give it here!” Tarantulas took his Raygun from Depth Charge and stepped away from them. “Here we go!”

This time when the red glow gathered in the muzzle of the invention it burst out and washed over Starath and Depth Charge in a pair of red beams. The robotic frames sagged when their sparks were tugged free and pulled into the glowing jar at the back of the Raygun. After spinning in the jar for a few seconds the twin red beams emerged again, placing the sparks in the rightful forms. The red glow faded out in a puff and Tarantulas nodded in satisfaction. The two bots stared stupidly at him until their optics came back into focus. Shaking themselves, as if settling the sparks where they should be, they turned to look at each other.

“Are we…?”

“Did it…?”

“You’re back to being my little kid!”

“Eeeee! You’re tall again!”

“Hahaha! Great!”

“Yeeeee! Glompage, Depth Charge!” Starath jumped on him. He laughed again, catching her and throwing her into the air. Squeaking, she let him catch her and hugged him around the neck.

“Uh… Guys…”

“I’m so glad I’m me and you’re you again!”

Depth Charge hop-skipped a merry dance. “Hahaha! So am I! Woo!”

“Umm… guys…”

“Heeheehee! I didn’t know you could be so happy!” Starath perched on one of his massive shoulders.

“Neither did I!”

“G-g-guys!” Tarantulas stuttered, hiding behind one of the Maximal’s fins.

Depth Charge let loose a shout of joy, then finally noticed the spider cowering behind him. “What? I don’t know how to thank you….”

He looked in the direction Tarantulas’ trembling claw was pointing and the sentence trailed off. Starath yelped and ducked in between his shoulder and fin, barely peeping above it.

Rampage stood dumbfounded at the cheerful scene that had just unfolded before him. His battered missile launcher fell from his hand as he reeled from the strangeness of it all. They’d swapped bodies? How was that even possible? But it somehow made sense. It explained why he knew something was amiss. Depth Charge hadn’t been acting right. The emotions of he and Starath seemed to have been switched between them. And they’d tried to hide it, presumably because they knew he’d try to take advantage of the situation. A tickle formed in his belly and moved upwards. Depth Charge had been trapped in Starath’s puny, hyper body. He was evidently still very energetic. Starath had to pretend to be Depth Charge. She tried but it simply didn’t work out. She had quoted movies, for booting up cold! The tickle worked its way into Rampage’s voice processor. And no wonder Depth Charge had suddenly become so darn jumpy!

An eerie calm settled on the hot plain until a low rumble disturbed it. Depth Charge, Tarantulas and Starath held their breath, waiting to see what the universe’s most feared killer would do. Battle plans and escape routes dashed through Depth Charge’s mind as his hand tightened on his rifle. The low sound grew. He narrowed his optics, focusing on Rampage. He frowned. Was he… shaking? Why? He automatically snapped his rifle up when Rampage slung a hand across his middle, still shaking. What was he doing? The rumble erupted into a long maniacal cackle. Rampage was laughing.

“Oh hoho..hoho… hahahHAHAHAHA! Gee Fins, it’s nice to see you so happy! Hahahaha… didn’t you like being a little girl? I think it suited you! hahaha… And Star! My dear child, you need to toughen up a bit!”

Unable to hold himself up, Rampage collapsed onto his back and continued laughing.

“Oh, I bet the Maximals LOVED this! You probably went to them for help first! Oh ho, hohohoHAHAHAHA! And Megatron! His little Starath was… was… AHAHAHAHAHA!”

“…I’m going home now.” Tarantulas slithered out from behind Depth Charge, who was fuming so badly he crushed the tail-end of his rifle.

His departure went unnoticed. Starath had climbed down from her friend’s shoulder and stood glaring at the upturned crab. He was now rolling in the dust; laughing so hard he couldn’t speak anymore.

“Can you just shoot him so we can go home?”

Depth Charge rubbed two fingers under his red optics, angry, but weary. “I need some chocolate…”

Later that night Rattrap was on monitor duty at the Axalon. Usually he hated the last shift of the day, but the little black data tape in his hand cheered him enough to ward off any late-night grumpiness. He kicked his feet up and rested them on the console, leaning back in his seat. Tossing the tape up and down, Rattrap laughed to himself, shaking his head.

“Man, da look on his face! Or was it ‘her’? Dat was great. Got every bit of Starath singin’ in Charlie Tuna’s bravado and da spazzin’ he did after he found out! Hoo hoo! Who’da known he could rant like that? I oughtta make copies of dis…”

In the half a moment the tape hung in the air when he tossed it, the lights went out. The tape forgotten, Rattrap threw his feet down and went at the console controls. “Power failure? What in da galaxy?” Muttering to himself he pushed buttons and typed commands, but nothing happened. After a few dark seconds the lights returned. Relieved, Rattrap sat back in his chair. “Musta fixed itself, whatever it was. Now where…?” He turned to search the ground for his tape and bumped into something solid.

Depth Charge stared down at him with a cold, hard glare.

Rattrap squeaked in surprise and snapped backwards. Depth Charge’s glare followed him right into his face. The smaller Maximal pulled at an invisible shirt collar, leaning back as far as his chair would allow.

“Oh… ‘Ey dere, Charlie Tuna! Eh… my… what… lovely red optics you… have… Would ya mind gettin’ outta my face?”

Depth Charge didn’t move but to bring his hand into Rattrap’s view. He clutched the fallen tape.

“I ...didn't just hear you talking about making copies of this, did I? Tell me that's not what I heard…”

He tried grabbing for it. “Hey, dat’s mine!”

Depth Charge slammed both fists down on either side of him, pinning him back. Rattrap coughed nervously, holding up his hands.

“Eh heh, never mind, it’s yours now if you want it. Ya gotta admit it was rather funny… No need ta get upset… And, uh… well! Ya must be right back where you belong!” He laughed nervously, trying to see over Depth Charge’s shoulder if there was anyone else nearby to save him.

“Yes, I suppose I am a little UPSET… But, oh wait, if I recall correctly, you did an awful lot of LAUGHING at that... “funny”...situation.” The look on Depth Charge’s face resembled a smile, but it wasn’t at all pleasant. “I intend to get a few… apologies… from you all…”

Rattrap was about to reply when there was a noise from far down the hall. Depth Charge straightened up and glanced behind him, moving towards the other side of the room. At that moment the lights sputtered and died.

The lights flickered again just as Cheetor walked into the room. He blinked sleepily, scratching the top of his head.

“Rattrap? Who’re you talking to? I heard you clear in my quarters.”

“Can’t ya see it’s—” Depth Charge was gone. Rattrap gulped, quickly scanning the room. “Dere’s no way he cudda…”

“Vermin!” Dinobot stormed in with sword in hand. “This is the second power failure in a scarce five cycles! Are we being attacked?”

“Eh…” All he could do was stare dumbly at him, but Dinobot didn’t seem to notice.

“What a time for a Predacon ambush! Where is that soft-hearted warrior fish? We may need his assistance!”

Rattrap cringed. “Uh, Choppahface…”

“What’s going on here?” Optimus was next to arrive behind Dinobot. “Is there trouble?”

He saw Rattrap’s expression and coughed to cover up a laugh. “By the Matrix… I still can’t get Depth Charge ‘singing’ out of my head…”

“Eh, Boss Monkey, don’t say dat—”

The lights went out, cutting Rattrap off. While the Maximals panicked, Depth Charge’s red optics appeared in the darkness. He cracked his knuckles.

“Party time…”