Beast Wars Anonymous:

Beast Wars and all related belong to Hasbro. The story, its original contents and ideas, and any original characters belong to the author and cannot be used or reprinted without the author's permission.

Author's Note: Many avid Beast Wars fans like to deny the episode "Code of Hero," saying that the Beast Wars world would be better off if it had never lost the warrior Dinobot. The following is an exercise in "What If?" It is the beginning of the answer to a question, and a testament to the amount of information that can be processed in a nanoclick.

1999 Readers' Choice Awards Winner
Best Overall
Best Drama
Most Thought-Provoking

Without Hero's Honor
by Amanda Flowers (SamusStar@aol.com)

"There's gotta be something we can do," came Cheetor's plea. It was a statement, yes, but it was really asking an important question. A question Rhinox had to answer.

For a moment, the response was trapped between his processor and his vocal apparatus--between mind and mouth--and the Maximals' slowest, quietest member let his thoughts race over galaxies of possibilities. He'd fought before in desperate times, to save the lives of those in danger. Cheetor, energon blinded and weakened from battle, had ridden the rhino's back over harsh terrain to safety. Airazor might never have lived if not for Rhinox risking himself. And Optimus--Transmetal Optimus--was still functional despite having once been beyond the Matrix itself.

Now Dinobot was the one in need, his fading optics probing, begging for something, some respite from pity and pain...

"Yeah. There is." He didn't usually give orders, but... Desperate times.. . "Cheetor, Rattrap, you help me out down here. Optimus, Silverbolt: keep watching the skies. Megatron might be back..."

"Wait...you can't..." Dinobot was shocked by the gesture.

"I can try. Stasis lock, now," Rhinox demanded of his patient.

Rattrap gave a start at being asked to assist. "Hey, what am I s'posed to..."

"What I say, when I say it." Rhinox dropped to his knees over fragments of the Golden Disk, shattered on the floor of the jungle valley.

Beside him, Cheetor did the same. "I'm on it."

Rhinox placed his heavy hands over Dinobot's chest, over the cavity that held his dying spark. He could almost feel the energy ebbing away; he had to work quickly.

"What...are you doing...?" Dinobot questioned meekly.

Rhinox was already shouting out orders to his surgical aids as if in a haze--open that panel, secure that wire--as he pushed down hard on Dinobot's spark cavity. Dinobot's eyes flew open in shock and sudden, intolerable pain, and he let stasis lock claim him.

The Maximals solemnly gathered outside of the R chamber, their leader and their doctor in the forefront. It had been a long, dark night, but it would be no more than a few nanoclicks before their unconscious ally--now frozen upright in the recovery chamber--would again awaken. Optimus and Rhinox shared a quick glance of trepidation as the doors began to open.

Dinobot's aperture opened slowly, cautiously.

"Welcome back," Optimus greeted.

"I...live," Dinobot declared solemnly, looking down at his own hands in a mixture of sadness and wonder. Then, surprise: "I live! But...but...I..."

"Thank Rhinox," Optimus said, gesturing towards the other.

"T'weren't nothin'..." Rhinox looked away, already unsure.

Optimus ignored the denial. "It was no easy task, reviving you after what you did out there. You ignored my orders and put your own life in danger."

"I was well aware of the danger," Dinobot asserted.

Optimus sighed. "Still. Without your aid the people of the Valley would probably not have survived the Predacon assault. You made a wise decision. For that, you're a hero."

Dinobot took that word to heart for a moment, surprised to hear it spoken of him, especially by a Maximal commander. Yet, something about Optimus's tone seemed amiss. Dinobot's eyes narrowed. "Then why the solemn face, Optimus Primal? What have I not been told?"

The sudden silence was heavy, pervasive.

Rhinox understood the problem; he knew he needed to be the next to speak.

Slowly, calmly, measuring each word, he began. "When your energon reserves were depleted, you denied yourself emergency stasis lock."

"I know what I did...!"

"Let him finish," Optimus admonished with a glare.

Rhinox sighed, and resumed. "We can get you back to full power again, but it's going to take time. Too much energon now would only shock your system." He took a deep breath. "Some of your internal systems were unsalvageable. Your optical weaponry has gone...permanently off-line."

Dinobot choked on that statement, but recovered. "Acceptable."

Rhinox was unrelenting. "Infrared sensors are off-line. Olfactory sensors...off-line. I guess you noticed that already."

Dinobot inhaled deeply through his nose, attempted to process, and came up blank. "Indeed." It was a strange thing to be without.

"That, I might be able to repair, when we get your reserves back up, but...no promises. Um...part of your memory tracks weren't recovered. It was a small file, or two. I...hope it wasn't important. Think maybe if you try, you can salvage it yourself." A sigh. "And...well..."

"What? "

One more fact. Be steady, be honest; tell it like it is.

"When you denied stasis lock after your power was depleted, you started using up the energy in your spark. Your own internal repairs can compensate for...some of it. Some is...well...gone for good. Even what repairs you can do are gonna take time. I would say after... ten days--" fourteen days-- "of careful rest, you might recover some of your losses, but...never more than fifty--" thirty-five-- "percent."

Dinobot heard the words, but failed to fathom their meaning. "So, then what? What do you mean? I remain half-dead--I fight by your sides already walking the line between this world and the next?"

"No...not exactly..."

Optimus stepped in, asserting his importance in the situation, even as the other Maximals could not think of any reply. "There won't be any combat for you for a long time. You're in too much risk of injuring yourself, or even one of us."

"What?!"

Rhinox spoke again, hoping not to anger Dinobot any further. "Your spark is what's at stake now. If you over-exert your power reserves, you're going...that is, your spark is going...to quiet." There was no other word. "You may begin to burn larger portions of your memory circuits, and lose control. Or, you might be subject to...convulsions...spark attack. There's no real way to say at this point."

It was the most Rhinox had ever had to explain to anyone, and the hardest. "I'm sorry."

Dinobot's optics widened suddenly. First internal warning had already come through. "I...I need to lie down."

"Cheetor, help Dinobot to his quarters," Optimus ordered. It was an odd sight to see the proud warrior hang his weight on the Maximal child as they left the bridge.

"Chopperface is...ehh...takin' it pretty well, don't 'cha think?" Rattrap commented, the moment the two were out of earshot.

Silverbolt hung his head low. Rhinox, stolid, turned his face to Rattrap, but made no comment.

Rattrap shrugged, sheepishly, and turned his chair to face the computer console. "Permanent damage. Who'd a thunk?"

"Can't bring up the reserves without shocking the spark; can't repair the systems without bringing up the reserves," Rhinox answered.

"Yeah, well, don't worry about it. If I know Dino-butt--and I think I do--he'll be up and at 'em and back to bein' a pain in my tail all over again, before you can say Swiss cheese."

"Right."

Dinobot spent a lot of time in beast mode over the next few days. He spent a lot of time unconscious, lying in heavy sleep on the firm cot in his near-empty quarters. In order to replenish his energon reserves slowly, Rhinox had overridden Dinobot's automatic power reserves. He added greater amounts of energy day-by-day, injection by injection. Dinobot would rarely bother to awaken for the procedure; he lay and mumbled to himself, as if in a dream brought on by weakness, or insanity...or both. Sometimes an ally would wander by, find Dinobot awake, and see him speaking aloud to air as if someone was there to listen. These were private conversations; no one eavesdropped or interrupted. The fourth day, Dinobot read a book--at least partially--then suddenly and with no provocation flung it hard into the far wall. It was never touched again.

Patrol routes were altered so as to not involve Dinobot. Activity, however, was slow. The enemy had after all suffered heavy damage during the incident in the Valley.

Just not as heavy.

The sixth day, Rhinox was just removing the energon IV when one great reptilian eye opened up to gaze into his. "I can no longer remember why I came to this planet," the raptor declared.

"That's the...the track that was missing?" Rhinox assumed.

Dinobot inhaled, growling. "No. I could not remember it when I stood up against Megatron." Another deep inhalation. "I came here with Megatron."

"That's right."

Sudden anger. "Do not treat me like some newborn child, in need of your coddling! I can not remember why I came with Megatron." Yes, he did remember. He looked away, toward the cold, blank wall. "We were to be partners. So he said." Dinobot snarled. "Madness."

"Good to see you're coming around," Rhinox encouraged.

"Leave here!" the raptor screeched.

Rhinox nodded, and without responding, took the IV away.

"Hey there, Chopperface." Rattrap took one careful step into the room, then another. He was hiding something behind his back. "You're lookin' chipper this morning."

Dinobot rolled onto his other side, away from the door and the persistent rat-bot. "Spare me."

"Hey, now... I wouldn't go talkin' like that when I went and brought you a present!" Rattrap stepped inside completely, and looked the velociraptor up and down. "But...eh...ya gotta Maximize first, or I ain't givin' it over."

"Oh, very well." Dinobot sighed. "Maximize." His legs rolled up over to become arms; his dinosaur head shifted downward; he was a robot curled in a ball on the cot; he was a robot, sitting up now, on the cot.

"Ta-da!" Rattrap drew out the object he was so poorly concealing: Dinobot's electron sword, the long, drill-like weapon designed for shearing sparks. "Took a little detour while I was on patrol. Even had it shined up for ya." He held it out, hilt first. Dinobot did not accept it. "It...eh...may not be much use to ya for a while, but...hey, makes a swell trophy, right?" Rattrap attempted.

"Perhaps." Dinobot snatched up the blade quickly, barely glanced at it, and set it down next to him on the sheet. "Will that be all?"

"Hey...eh..." Rattrap's efforts to cheer his favorite antagonist were failing miserably. "Look on the bright side, right? You were always lookin' for a way to avoid smellin' my cheese stash. Now, you don't have to complain."

"No, perhaps not."

Rattrap blinked; Dinobot's lack of emotion was starting to effect him. Everything was just...bouncing off... "Ya know... when you were dyin' out there in puddles of your own lubricant, you'd almost stopped yourself already, you realize that? Like...like you'd a bit the big one, then everythin' woulda been okay. Do you...you really think that woulda been okay ?"

"Indeed it would have," Dinobot asserted. "I would not have had to see your face AGAIN !"

Rattrap, rather than being insulted, sighed in relief. "Hey, now there's the fossil-face I used to know."

"You think I am not serious , vermin?" Dinobot rose to his feet, taking up the sword he'd left beside him. "Get out of my quarters!" he bellowed. "OUT!"

Rattrap nearly exploded with glee. He left, as commanded, but shouting before him down the hall: "Hey, everyone! Dinobot's okay! He's okay...!"

Dinobot let out a roar. He halted as a flood of pain washed over him, hung his head a moment, then snapped upright. He gripped his old sword tightly, and stalked out down the hallway.

"Looks like Rattrap was right!" Optimus seemed pleasantly surprised. "We were starting to worry you'd never get to feeling better again."

Dinobot's eyes were as cold as the edges of his blade. "I wish to be assigned to my former patrol routes."

Optimus probed for a fast response. "Cheetor and Silverbolt are..."

"Call them back. I should be on patrol. I've wasted too much time already."

Optimus shook his head. "I'm afraid not."

"Ten days have now passed! Have they not?" Dinobot demanded. "My energon reserves are at eighty percent. That is more than enough for routine patrol."

"No. It's not your power reserves we're worried about; it's spark damage. If you should get into a scuffle out there, you'd be in real danger."

"There is always danger in battle! Better to die fighting, than to die catered to. Waited on like an invalid while I waste away..."

"You're recovering !" Optimus insisted.

"Hey, get a hold of yourself!" Rattrap attempted. "I didn't get you off your feet just ta watch you chew out the boss-monkey!"

"Dinobot," Optimus began, "You know that after we've gotten your final systems check done, you'll be..."

"He won't fight again," Rhinox suddenly said from the edge of the room, barely audible.

Slowly, the words sunk in. Dinobot was astounded. "What?"

"You heard me." Rhinox spun in his chair, facing the others. "You aren't gonna be fighting anymore. Your spark can't handle the strain. Get you out on the battlefield, you'd crack within a cycle. Can't help it. It was worse than I thought."

"This cannot be!" Dinobot shouted. "It cannot! " His sword was active now, blades rotating freely.

"...'Fraid so," Rhinox answered, his eyes lowering.

"I'll fight you all just for another chance at Megatron!" Dinobot cried. "Or I'll... I'll take this...this fraction of a spark you labored so long over... I'll finish the job myself! "

"Are you nuts?! " Rattrap screeched.

"Dinobot, don't!" Optimus dove toward him, trying to wrestle away his sword.

"Then you will be the first to die!" Dinobot declared, resisting Optimus's restraint. He freed his weapon arm and swiped furiously at the Maximal commander, leaving a deep gash in his chestplate. He drew back his arm for a second blow, then winced as he began to lose control over his functions. Dancing wires of blue energy flashed across his limbs; his spark felt ready to tear from his core. He screamed, dropping down to his knees as his legs gave out beneath him. He refused to succumb to stasis lock--refused to succumb even to beast mode. "A warrior...should not...die...on his knees!! " He rose up onto his feet and in that instant plunged his sword directly into his own spark.

"Dinobot!" came Optimus's cry, and chaos descended upon the room, all framed by the hideous sound of rotating metal chewing metal away:

"Chopperface you sorry son of a..."

"Get him into the R chamber! The R chamber!"

"...Maximals? Maximals? I...have been captured! A prisoner! A..."

"Get the sword out of him first..."

"For bootin' up cold, he tried to slag..."

"Who...who are you? Let me go! Let...me..."

"We're gonna lose him anyway! Get him in..."

The thought faded. Rhinox looked down into those begging, dying eyes...

Sadly, but resigned, he shook his head.

"He's too far gone, even for stasis lock."

Dinobot, as Maximals would tell for stellar cycles to come, went off-line that night on the valley floor, his Maximal allies saluting his fading spark, and the promise of life it brought for generations of Cybertron and Human alike. He was given a hero's recycling, full honors, the greatest wish he could have had for himself as a Maximal warrior.

The evening after the funeral was one of the base's quietest times since the Beast Wars had begun. The recycling pyre still stood tall over the base, a monument to the end of a hero's life. Rhinox looked over for a moment at the switch that had been pulled only megacycles ago, then down into his hand at the object he'd just found in Dinobot's quarters. Barely noticing when Optimus stepped outside to greet him, Rhinox opened the book to the its most tattered spot--a dog-eared page that had been scarred repeatedly by clawed hand and even more by eye. He smiled slightly, and sighed. "To be, or not to be. That was the question."

"...It's true, then." Optimus laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You...could have saved him."

"Maybe." Rhinox looked up at the pyre itself, its cold spires cutting the sky. "You know me, Optimus. I'm in the miracle business."

Optimus thought a moment, and he realized then exactly what Rhinox had considered before--what process of thought had brought him to make his heaviest proclamation. "You made the right choice, my friend," Optimus assured, staring up at the stars. "You made the right choice."