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Page Guru's Note: Submitted in May, posted in October! To coin a phrase-- holy crap! My apologies, Alex!

Internal Affairs
by Alex Jones (mproc442@email.msn.com)

[FADE IN: OPTIMUS and CHEETOR are walking along a cliffside and talking.]

CHEETOR: So how come we have to climb so far up?

OPTIMUS: We are explorers, Cheetor. Even though we are stranded on this planet, we cannot allow ourselves to let go of our most basic instinct-- to explore. By climbing this cliff, we will find out what kinds of plants live on top of it. Besides, this planet is our battlefield, and knowing your battlefield is a big advantage.

CHEETOR: All right, all right. I'll race you to the top!

OPTIMUS: No Cheetor, it's too dangerous.

[CHEETOR has already ignored OPTIMUS and begins running up the cliff]

OPTIMUS: Cheetor, stop!

[As CHEETOR runs, an explosion knocks him off the cliffside]

OPTIMUS: Noooo! Optimus, Maximize!

[OPTIMUS transforms and looks for CHEETOR. For a while he sees nothing, then he sees CHEETOR's limp body on a ledge about ten yards down. Before he can activate his prime jets, he hears a voice.]

MEGATRON: [in robot mode] Really, Optimus Primal, I would expect you to anticipate this attack. Did you really think I would pass up an opportunity like this?

OPTIMUS: You have stooped so low as to shooting a Maximal in the back! You coward! I will tear your spark right out of your chest!

MEGATRON: Oh really? I would truly like to see you try! Yes, that would be entertaining.

OPTIMUS: Prime jets on!

[OPTIMUS'S jets ignite and propel him upwards toward the ledge MEGATRON is standing on. MEGATRON points his laser-hand down at OPTIMUS and lets off a blast of plasma. OPTIMUS corkscrews around it, momentarily confusing MEGATRON. OPTIMUS slams into MEGATRON with his right fist.]

OPTIMUS: Prime jets off!

[ The prime jets cut off as MEGATRON reels from the uppercut. He soon gains balance and kicks OPTIMUS in the stomach. OPTIMUS reflexively bends into the attack and MEGATRON grabs his head. MEGATRON then slams his knee into OPTIMUS' head. OPTIMUS, temporarily dizzy, falls to the ground.]

MEGATRON: You were never a match for me, Optimus. Surrender now and I will allow your soldiers to live... maybe.

OPTIMUS: Well, that's just prime! [gaining strength]

[ OPTIMUS pulls both his swords out as he does a jackknife to get up. MEGATRON, suprised at this courage, is caught off guard. OPTIMUS uses his swords like scissors and chops MEGATRON's right arm off.]

MEGATRON: My arm! You will pay for that, ape!

OPTIMUS: Prime jets on!

[ OPTIMUS'S Jets come to life and send him flying upward. MEGATRON uses his remaining arm to fire missiles wildly up at OPTIMUS. He dodges them and then flips around to land on the cliff top. MEGATRON, still firing, accidentally hits the top of the cliff. Several huge rocks break off and MEGATRON makes a jump for it. We see him go to beast mode just before he is covered in rocks.]

CHEETOR: [just waking up] Whoa, what hit me?

[OPTIMUS lands on CHEETOR's ledge]

OPTIMUS: Relax Cheetor. Megatron ambushed us, but I took care of him. How are your systems?

CHEETOR: Let me check. Computer, system diagnosis.

COMPUTER: All systems have been repaired while in beast mode.

OPTIMUS: Let's go. [Picks up CHEETOR] Prime jets on! [He flies them both to the bottom of the cliff.] Beast mode.

[ OPTIMUS and CHEETOR begin the walk home. Back on the cliff, MEGATRON is being repaired by his beast mode. When he gathers enough strength, he knocks the rocks off of him.][ In the text, "><><" will signify a glitch]

MEGATRON: [sounds a little, well, drunk] Time to go ><>< home. See all ><>< my friends.

[MEGATRON begins the journey home with the occasional twitch in his neck]

[CUT TO: Pred base. SCORPONOK, TERRORSAUR, INFERNO, BLACKARACHNIA, WASPINATOR, and TARANTULAS have all regrouped at the base for the night.]

INFERNO: Where is the royalty?

SCORPONOK: Yes, I am worried about Megatron, too.

TARANTULAS: Perhaps he is setting up another plan.

BLACKARACHNIA: Who cares? I'm getting my rations and getting some rest.

WASPINATOR: Wazzpinator iz very tired. Wazzpinator must sleep now.

[WASPINATOR and BLACKARACHNIA head for their quarters. TARANTULAS decides to follow BLACKARACHNIA and try to get invited into her room. TERRORSAUR is left staring at INFERNO and SCORPONOK. They both know what he is thinking.]

INFERNO: [to SCORPONOK] Get some rest, fellow drone. I will make sure this simple worker will not take advantage of the royalty.

SCORPONOK: All... all right. Wake me up when Megatron returns.

TERRORSAUR: [innocently] Why do you two suspect that I will do anything to Megatron when he returns? It's my turn to do the night watch, that's all, honest.

[SCORPONOK turns and walks to his quarters. INFERNO stares at TERRORSAUR.]

[ CUT TO: External view of Pred base. MEGATRON is walking up to the HQ. The lights inside turn off, one by one as the Preds fall asleep for the night.]

[CUT TO: Inside pred base. INFERNO is still watching TERRORSAUR. MEGATRON walks in.]

INFERNO: [relieved] Greetings, royalty. Where have you been?

MEGATRON: I have been ><>< walking home. Taking the scenic route ><><. ya know. He he he.><><><><

TERRORSAUR: He looks intoxicated. Liked one of the "Bar-Bums" in the Rigel-9 Bar & Grill. That places serves energon that'll give ya a kick'n'a half. But they don't exactly serve it here.

MEGATRON: Ah, the old bar ><><&><>< grill><><.

INFERNO: It's getting worse. It may be internal damage.

MEGATRON: [to TERRORSAUR] do you want to be my friend?><><

TERRORSAUR: He is completely wasted!

INFERNO: Let's put him in the CR tank.

TERRORSAUR: [pulling his gun out] Who said wasted was a bad thing?

[ There is an akward moment as the two Preds stare into each other's eyes. Then, MEGATRON has a glitch, INFERNO grabs for his flame-thrower and TERRORSAUR shoots him with his laser rifle and his two shoulder mounted blaster cannons. The three shots tear into INFERNO's chest, throwing him into a wall. His eyes dim as his limp body falls to the ground.]

MEGATRON: That wasn't very ><>< nice.

TERRORSAUR: [thinking fast] It.. a.. It wasn't meant to. After all, nobody attacks you and gets away with it.

MEGATRON: He didn't ><>< attack me

TERRORSAUR: He was gonna put you in the CR chamber. The kill-rapidly chamber.

MEGATRON: Killing isn't ><>< spelled with a C.

TERRORSAUR: This is worse than I thought. You can't even spell. You are badly damaged. If we get attacked while your like this.... Quick, tell the computer that I am the new leader.

MEGATRON: ><>

TERRORSAUR: Yes yes yes, of course I am. Hurry!

MEGATRON: If you say so. Computer, change all ><>< command privileges to Terrorsaur><><.

COMPUTER: Acknowledged, prepare for retinal scan, print scan, voice scan, and command code verification.

TERRORSAUR: [quietly to himself] Man, this guy is paranoid.

[MEGATRON looks into two small holes in the console for a couple seconds]

COMPUTER: Retinal scan: passed.

[MEGATRON puts his new right hand on an outline of a hand on the console for a couple seconds]

COMPUTER: Print scan: passed. Now, recite your command code for voice scan and code verification.

MEGATRON: All hail the future ruler of the><>< galaxy, Megatron.

TERRORSAUR: [sarcastically to himself] Well he's not one bit over ambitious.

COMPUTER: Small flaw: overlooking. Voice scan: passed. Command code: verified. New leader of Predacons: unit Terrorsaur.

TERRORSAUR: YES!! Finally I have all the ship's systems at my control. No one would dare oppose me!

MEGATRON: We><>< still friends?

[TERRORSAUR's blaster cannons aim, and blow MEGATRON's head off.]

[FADE IN: TARANTULUS (beast mode) is hanging from the ceiling of his quarters, asleep. He twitches a few times, obviously dreaming. He is awoken by the sound of the intercom.....]

TERRORSAUR: Attention all Predacons! You are to report to the main control room immediately for an introduction to your new leader. Terrorsaur out!

TARANTULAS: Is he kidding? I have a real bad feeling about this.

[CUT TO: In the main control room, SCORPONOK, BLACKARACHNIA, and WASPINATOR (all in robot mode) are all standing in front of TERRORSAUR as TARANTULAS (robot mode) walks in.]

SCORPONOK: What is going on, traitor?

BLACKARACHNIA: Yeah, what's the big idea?

TERRORSAUR: Exactly what I said, time to meet your new leader....

TARANTULAS: Let me guess.... you?

TERRORSAUR: You always are the smart one, aren't you. You can be my XO (second in command). The rest of you can be my faithful soldiers.

SCORPONOK: Where is Megatron?

TERRORSAUR: Ahh, blind loyalty is a wonderful thing... if it's to me.

SCORPONOK: I'll never be loyal to you. Where is Megatron?

TERRORSAUR: Right here.

[TERRORSAUR walks over to MEGATRON's chair (now his) and hits a few buttons on the left console. They all see a door on the wall opens and a wall slides out. On one side INFERNO has his hands chained to the top of the wall and on the other side MEGATRON is chained in the same way. The Preds all gasp at the sight of their formal leader. TERRORSAUR, now in his new command chair, smiles.]

TERRORSAUR: Well, Megatron, now that you are repaired and in your right mind, are you ready to bow to me? What about you, Inferno?

MEGATRON: This is truly a strange predicament, yes. But I will never bow to you! No.

TERRORSAUR: Very well... what about you, Inferno?

INFERNO: Of course I will, the royalty demands it.

TERRORSAUR: You already call me royalty?

INFERNO: No. Megatron commanded me to--

MEGATRON: You idiot!

TERRORSAUR: He commanded you to let him out after you joined me? Clever, Megatron, clever. I have decided to leave both of you hanging from there as an example.

[ CUT TO: Later, WASPINATOR is guarding the prisoners. SCORPONOK sneaks in from behind. WASPINATOR hears him and whirls around.]

WASPINATOR: [pointing his dart launcher at SCORPONOK as he talks.] Wazzpinator hatez sneaky traitorz.

SCORPONOK: I just came to..uh..to tell you that..uh.. Terrorsaur wants you to..uh..guard the...I mean..He wants you to scout.

WASPINATOR: [looks disbelieving at first, then shrugs] Okay.

[ He flies through the ceiling hatch. SCORPONOK releases the chains and MEGATRON and INFERNO are freed. MEGATRON immediately begins a plan.]

MEGATRON: Scorponok, sound the evacuation alarm and take this [hands him a com unit]. You will evacuate along with the others and warn me if they catch on while Inferno and I regain control of--

TERRORSAUR: It would have been a good plan if you hadn't have been caught.

WASPINATOR: Wazzpinator is not idiot like Scorponok.

[ As MEGATRON examines the room, he looks to the three exits. The ceiling hatch is blocked by WASPINATOR. The right exit is blocked by TERRORSAUR. BLACKARACHNIA and TARANTULAS are blocking the left exit. All weapons are on MEGATRON. He kicks over his command chair and jumps behind it. SCORPONOK jumps behind the main terminal. INFERNO rockets upward and slams into WASPINATOR. They both fight as they fly away. Shots are firing wildly and tearing MEGATRON's chair apart. SCORPONOK jumps up on top of the terminal and fires two missiles before he is shot down. One missile explodes right in front of TERRORSAUR, hurling him backwards down the hall. The other missile slams into BLACKARACHNIA's stomach, knocking her back with severe damage. TARANTULAS runs back to help her. MEGATRON moves back to SCORPONOK.]

MEGATRON: Can you move?

SCORPONOK: Ye..ye...

SCORPONOK's COMPUTER: System failures. Stasis lock commencing.

MEGATRON: You will be rewarded for your loyalty.

[ MEGATRON walks down the right hallway. He looks for TERRORSAUR but sees nothing. Suddenly, TERRORSAUR jumps out and blows a hole in MEGATRON's right side. MEGATRON uses his laser hand to blast TERRORSAUR's left arm off. TERRORSAUR then shoots a hole in MEGATRON's right arm.]

MEGATRON: Not my arm again! [He knocks the gun out of TERRORSAUR's hand]

TERRORSAUR: I can beat you with my bare hands! [He swings a fist.]

[MEGATRON catches his fist and smiles. He pulls TERRORSAUR's arm and headbutts him several times. TERRORSAUR falls to the ground, unconscious.]

MEGATRON: You always were weak.

[ MEGATRON makes his way down the hallway and into main engineering. He walks across the room and to the far right corner. There is a power box. He opens it and types in a code on a small keypad.]

COMPUTER: Computer systems memory erase program activation. Erasing past 24 Earth hours.

MEGATRON: Who is the current leader?

COMPUTER: Current leader Megatron.

MEGATRON: [into his com link] All units, I am back in charge. Return to the bridge.

[CUT TO: Later, all the Predacons are lined up in front of MEGATRON, already repaired.]

MEGATRON: Time to get what is coming to you, men. Inferno and Scorponok get all of the rations, except mine of course, for this week. So save your strength! The rest of you will be on a steady march around this base from 8am-11pm everyday for the next week. And you, Terrorsaur, will constantly make mock attacks at the base for as long as they march. Of course, when you are totally scrap we will put you in the CR tank and you can do it all over again. [MEGATRON smiles cruelly at the now-terrified TERRORSAUR.] Dismissed. [As the Preds leave to serve their sentence] Oh, and Terrorsaur, if you ever try to overthrow me again, I WILL PERSONALLY RIP YOUR WINGS OFF AND THROW YOU IN THE NEAREST LAVA POOL!!!

[FADE TO BLACK]