11.Mar.06
Beast
Wars: Be True To Ones Self
Honor...
Why does that word play over and over in my mind? I watched the maximal fuzor
Tigerhawk fight against the power of Nemesis. I should have basked in the
spectacle. Instead...I felt admiration. He fought with great honor...and...I
felt the pain of the loss of a comrade. But he was my enemy. I never fought at
his side, or felt comforted by his presence and yet it feels as if I experienced
those very things.
A part of me knows what’s happening. Not the part of me that is rational, but
my instincts tell me that he may, finally, have won the war.
For months a silent war has been waged within me. Ever since the vermin (why do
I now use that term and feel some semblance of affection) tried his little
experiment. He tried to erase me and return my 'father'. But what he placed in
my mind was only a pale copy of the original...as I now begin to feel I am...I
was able to beat back the invading mind...and yet I could not destroy it.
Already, I had felt the presence of Rampage, telling me to seek glory. I did,
but I sought it as a soldier of Megatron. Now another voice, weakened, rose up
whispering words of honor, of friendship. Telling me that I was more than a
warrior, I was one who held the Code close to his soul. But that voice was weak,
it could barely break through. But slowly, Rampage's voice began to fear the
other. The other was getting stronger, seeming to feed off the very mech fluid
in my fuel pumps. Honor, loyalty to those who would fight at your side. The
words grew slowly stronger.
Then there was the moment of utter agony as my spark, for the first time in my
life became whole. Now, the voice had to fight against me. And I couldn't hold
it back.
The protohumans are scattering. They scream in fear as the great beast above
them fires at them. I feel no joy, no exultation. All I feel is fear for them. A
memory, maybe contained in my very DNA, flashes before me. I had saved these
creatures...no I hadn't, that had been the other. They don't matter, they are
obstacles to Megatron. I steel myself as Megatron's arm, seemingly in slow
motion, moves to fire, and then time seems to speed up as I suddenly find myself
grabbing my leader. What have I done? I would never go against him, I am his
most reliable servant. And as I look at the fury in his face, it doesn't matter,
for those few moments only protecting those small, weak, seemingly insignificant
creatures is what matters.
Optimus is down. Now, I may redeem myself. Destroy him and all will be forgiven.
I must follow my leader’s orders
Optimus is your leader
No, I follow only Megatron
You serve honor, you serve the cause of the Maximal’s
I serve the cause of the Predacons
You feel for those who need protection from tyrants
I am the tyrant
You are a warrior
I am a soldier
You are both Predacon and Maximal as I was, You serve both honor and glory, as I
once thought I had to. But it can go on no longer
My fate is not my own, it is my destiny to serve Megatron
Our fates are in our own hands. We've control of our destinies. We decide
whether or not we save or destroy life. You must now decide. You must now
choose. Maximal or Predacon. Hero or Villan. Warrior or Soldier.
I ...am... Megatron's...
Choose, Glory...Or Honor. Choose
I...will...not...
CHOOSE!
I...can...not
CHOOSE! NOW! YOU CANNOT HAVE BOTH! WHICH PATH IS YOURS! HONOR OR GLORY!
And, as I turn to face the great dragon head beside me, my answer rings through
my mind
...Honor