16.Sept.06
They can't see what he's grown up into, but he could show them. He could show them all.
Guilty
of Innocence
At some point in my life, I picked up a piece of human history. Not much; just a law that a group of the things used to live by. I don't know, maybe they still do. All I know is that the Maximals abide by a similar kind of law. Short and sweet, it goes like this: innocent until proven guilty.
Yeah, that about describes me.
Oh, I'm not evil, don't get me wrong! I didn't really MEAN to do it, and by the time I realized it...too late. I, the innocent one, was guilty, and their blood are on my hands. But there's nothing I can do about it, so why bother torturing myself with 'maybes' and 'might-have-beens'? There's no proof that I actually did anything, and so I can't be proven guilty. And, really, it's not what I did that made things turn out like this; it's what I DIDN'T.
I didn't fly faster.
I could have. I hadn't hit my maximum speed yet, and I might have arrived in time to do some good...but I didn't, and Tigatron and Airazor are gone. At the time I was worried one of the others might have noticed, maybe timed my flying speed and figured out the truth, that I wasn't actually trying to make it in time. That would be enough proof, perhaps, to change me from innocent to guilty in the eyes of the Maximals.
But I took care of that before any of them could really think about what had happened. It was simple. Everyone always thinks of me as so young, so ignorant, so innocent. Slag, that's part of why I started to dislike Tigatron so much. He ALWAYS treated me like 'Little Cat'. Airazor too, and I was the one who saved her life when she was still in her statis pod! But she passed me over for the tiger, and together they condescended to work with me every once and a while. I hated that, but it was useful. Playing up to that image was the easiest thing I've ever done. The innocent little kid the rest of the Maximals were used to grieved over the abductions of his 'friends' and blamed himself.
'"If only I could have gotten there faster..."
"Don't blame yourself, kid. It wasn't your fault."
I've gone through a thousand variations of that conversation with every Maximal around. If I could manage it, I'd do it with some of the Predacons, too. Never hurts to have them think of you as an innocent. And I am. I mean, it's not like I hated those two. It was a spontaneous decision made of disgust and annoyance at constantly being the kid of the team. I'm not THAT young! I didn't MEAN for them to be gone forever, or at least I didn't think of it that way. I just...wanted it to stop. And I wanted Airazor to look at me, her savior, the way she looked at Tigatron. It was because of me that she was alive in the first place! And now that she and Tigatron are gone...well, I suppose I regret what I did. But it's more of a relief to know that I'm not quite the ignorant Little Cat everyone else thinks I am. To know that at any time I could tell all of the Maximals that the innocent kid they've been treating me like this entire time is actually no more of a child then they are.
But I don't. Being the kid gets me easy assignments and punishments I can practically ignore. And it's not like I'm really guilty, after all. I'm still innocent in my own way. No one's even started to suspect me of intentionally not coming to Tigatron and Airazor's rescue. If they don't suspect, they don't collect evidence, and without proof...the guilty are innocent.
Cheetor shook himself as if waking from a dream and blinked at her. "I, uh, I was just thinking."
"Don't hurt yourself, kiddo," she said with a nasty smile.
He blinked again, staring at her with a longing look. "No, not ME," he demurred absently, and she frowned.
"What do you mean, not you? Who were you thinking of hurting?" she demanded.
His eyes widened in what looked like alarm. "I, ah...I mean, I was thinking..." She watched him closely, and he looked down as if ashamed. "I was thinking about Tigatron and Airazor," he admitted in a small voice, and Blackarachnia sighed in disgust.
"Stop beating yourself up over that!" She threw her pincers up and shook her head. "It's over and done with, and you should just get on with life!"
"My lady is correct," a voice said, and both of the 'bots turned to see Silverbolt coming down the corridor. "You should stop blaming yourself for something you couldn't have prevented," the fuzor finished gravely.
Cheetor gave a tiny, miserable nod. "But if I had just--"
"Stop it!" Blackarachnia ordered. "It wasn't your fault. End of story." She looked up at Silverbolt and smiled. "Now, how about we take a walk, Bowser?" The fuzor nodded, and they started to walk off. "Stop thinking, kiddo," the spider threw back over her shoulder.
Neither of them noticed the burning look Cheetor watched them with, or the fists clenched underneath the console. If they had, they might not have thought him as young as they considered him to be.
I'm innocent until proven guilty, after all.