All Washed Up
By: Beastbot

(Author’s Note: This isn’t so much a note for THIS fic as it is an addendum for the last one that I wanted to make sure everyone read. I’ve gotten a question as to why Dinobot was at the Maximal base at the end of “Biology vs. Technology”, when he was supposed to be on his own with Tigerhawk and the others. That was one of those events that overlapped between “Biology vs. Technology” and “Feral Plague”- Dinobot happened to be at the base waiting for his friend to be repaired when Polar Claw’s head was dropped at their front door. He’s not back with the Maximals. Sorry for the confusion- looking back, I probably should have made that more clear.)

Day 28

“All right, back it up just a little more. You’ve almost got it…. There!”

Ironhide swept the oil sweat accumulating on his forehead away with a hand as he surveyed the temporary communications array that he and his Maximal brethren had built.

“Hey, Prowl, don’t you think that it’s leaning a little to one side?” the elephant-bot asked the project surveyor.

Prowl sighed exaggeratingly. “Noooo... it’s fine.... It’s just a temporary thing, anyways. At least until the other Maximals find us.”

“Why do we even bother anymore?” Bonecrusher asked. “Our last three attempts at makin’ a littl’ transmitter for ourselves have just all been blown up by the Predacons, brotherrr!” Even though he was obviously exhausted from the hard labor, he still made a show out of flexing his large muscles as he talked.

Not that there were any fembots around; he was just that much of a show-off.

“Tell me about it,” Ramulus agreed. “Lately I feel like I’ve become slaggin’ Robinson Crusoe.”

“Who?” Bonecrusher asked, a puzzled look on his face.

“Read a book, moron...” Ramulus muttered.

“What was that, goatboy?!” Bonecrusher questioned the ram-bot, his words picking up a hostile tone.

“I’m a RAM…” Ramulus said between clenched teeth.

“Guys, not now! Predahcons attacking… again!” Ironhide yelled, whipping out his blaster and firing at incoming enemies.

“Whatever you do,” Prowl hollered to his comrades, “Don’t let them get the-“

One of Jetstorm’s missiles went slightly to the left of its target and hit the makeshift array, making the whole structure explode in a brilliant fireball.

“-fort…” Prowl finished, in a much lower, more dejected tone.

As Prowl ducked an incoming acid shot from Spittor and fired a few retaliatory blasts back at the Transmetal 2 frog, he couldn’t help but recall the aggravating sequence of events that had gotten them into this situation in the first place….

Day 1

Jetstorm whistled the theme to the old Earthling game show “Jeopardy” as he and his teammates continued to fly over the ocean.

“Ssstop it, Jetssstorm,” said the snake the huge dragonfly was carrying.

Jetstorm continued to whistle.

“I sssaid SSSTOP it,” Corhada threatened.

Jetstorm still went on as if nobody had said anything.

“SSSTOP IT NOW RIGHT NOW!” Corhada screeched.

“Sounds like someone wants to be dropped,” Jetstorm remarked, smirking as much as a dragonfly could.

“Arr, the serpent has a point, Jetstorm,” remarked a nearby Transmetal 2 iguana that was dangling from the body of a giant flying beetle. “We all know it be takin’ a long time to get to yonder island, and you singin’ that slaggin’ tune isn’t helping any, yarr.”

“Whatever you say, Captain Hook,” Jetstorm said dismissingly, increasing his speed to stay ahead of the pair of Insecticon and Iguanus.

“I REALLY wish Scourge hadn’t paired us up with him, Iguanus,” the giant flying beetle remarked to the Transformer he was carrying.

“Me neither, Insecticon,” Iguanus remarked, “But Captain Scourge said we need to gut this Maximal communications post ASAP. Now that the Maximals can spare the ‘bots, they thought that they could slip by us and build an interstellar transmitter array way out here, several hours from everythin’ else. But we’ll be givin’ them the surprise o’ their lives, haharr. Scarem is an excellent hacker.”

“That he is,” Insecticon said.

They were interrupted a few minutes later when Iguanus’ comlink crackled.

“Yo’ bots, this is da frog callin’ you!
Answer me back b’fore I sue!”

“Spittor is a REALLY bad rapper…” Insecticon groaned.

Iguanus merely nodded as he activated his comlink.

“Hail, Spittor, this is Iguanus. What have ye discovered?”

“My advance scoutin’ found the island,
Just like the boss said,
And this tropical paradise
Sure ain’t dead!
There’s palm trees and a volcano
And what’s more
Those Maxies are buildin’ an outpost
Right here on da shore!”

“I read you loud and clear, Spittor,” Iguanus replied back. “Good work, yarr. Judging from the coordinates you’ve just transmitted us, we should be making it to the island you swam to in… oh… 10 cycles or so. Keep hidden until then.”

“Peace out!” Spittor affirmed right before he cut off the transmission.

“Iguanus?”

“Yes, Insecticon?”

“I’ve changed my mind. I hate Spittor more.”

That earned a hearty laugh from Iguanus as the beetle increased his speed to keep up with Jetstorm and Corhada.

Prowl frowned as Ramulus started to weld the dish transmitter to the roof of their newly-built outpost.

“No, no, no! You’re doing it wrong! It’s supposed to be at a fifty-degree angle, not a forty-eight-degree angle!”

“Well, excuuuse me,” Ramulus said, rolling his optics as he motioned for Bonecrusher to tilt the huge dish a little more upwards.

Ramulus felt a sharp prick on the back of his neck and slapped it.

“Slaggin’ mosquitoes… The sooner we get this over with, the better…”

“That wassssn’t a mosssquito, ssstupid.”

Ramulus quickly turned around, taking his gun out from subspace and leveling it at Corhada in one smooth motion.

“I don’t know how the slag you got here, scale face, but you won’t be leaving in one piece.”

“I’m not ssstupid, I know I don’t ssstand a chance againsssst you. I sssurrender,” Corhada smirked, raising his arms up towards the sky.

“This better not be a tri- oooh…” Ramulus stopped in mid-sentence, collapsing to the ground in a heap.

Corhada smirked and hurled the empty syringe he had hidden in his hand into the sand below. Picking up Ramulus, the Predacon walked out from behind the large dish to see that his teammates had had similar victories with the other Maximals.

“You gotta love when the Maximalssss leave their guard down, heheh.”

Day 3

“Wakey wakey, sleepy-head—it’s time for schooool!”

Prowl grunted as his optics came online, making out Jetstorm’s ugly smirking face planted right in front of his.

Prowl tried to move his arms to tackle the Predacon, but found that they were tied to his sides by some type of metal cable. What a surprise. Guess I’d better buy my time for now.

“Unnhh… how did you-“

“Take you by surprise?” Jetstorm laughed, standing up from his former crouching position. “It was easy peezy, Simba. The boss, smarty-pants that he is, made us some devices specifically for this mission that cloak us from your signature scanners. Voila-- instant ambush.”

“But how did you find us in the first place?” Prowl asked, still a bit dizzy from the effects of the chemicals he had been injected with.

“Ooo, that was Scarem’s doing,” Jetstorm said. “The guy’s an excellent hacker. He just intercepted the transmissions. It just goes to show you, that even with all the troops you’ve gotten recently, WE still have the advantage. Nice try, though.”

Prowl growled. “Where are the other Maximals? What have you done to them?!”

“My, full of questions today, aren’t we?” Jetstorm chuckled. “They’re not here. That’s all YOU need to know, Simba. What, you thought I’d spill everything just ‘cause you asked me? Please, that is SO cliché.”

“At least tell me what you plan to do to me, then,” Prowl sighed, defeated.

“Hmmm…” Jetstorm hummed, tapping his chin as if he were thinking long and hard about it. “Well, seeing as how I’m such a nice guy, I suppose I can give you a hint. It’s looong, and it’s painful. And it will result in your death. Doesn’t that sound fun?!”

“Hardly.”

“Party pooper. Well, I’m going to do it anyway. You’ve been out for two days, I’m not going to throw forty-eight hours of preparation away just because SOMEONE’S Mr. Picky. I’ve got to get everything ready. See you in a few, Simba,” Jetstorm waved, walking out of the small cave they had both been in.

Hmmm. Well, if he’s been preparing to kill me for two days, it shouldn’t take him more than a few minutes to get whatever it is “ready”. I’ve got think of something, and fast.

Prowl, who had always prided himself in coming up with ingenious plans even when he was on the spot, found he was coming up blank. He had to admit, the Predacons had chosen VERY wisely-- they had definitely planned this out ahead. Scourge must have recently began subjecting his team to rigorous drills, since just a month ago Prowl wouldn’t have dreamed Scourge’s subjects could’ve planned anything past their next meal. For one thing, Prowl was alone, with no sign of the others. For all he knew, they could already be dead. So there was no way teamwork could pull him out of this. A quick computer inventory check of his subspace revealed that all his weapons had been confiscated, so he couldn’t cut his way out of these bonds. And this cave didn’t have any sharp edges within reach, so no rubbing the bonds off.

Prowl was just about to accept his fate when he heard a soft “Psst” from the cavern ceiling. Looking up, Prowl almost shouted out in glee before he realized that wouldn’t be such a good idea in this situation.

“Ramulus!”

“In the metal,” the ram-bot grinned as he jumped quietly down to the cavern floor and started to work on Prowl’s bonds.

“How did you get free?”

“Hellooo? Former bounty hunter? I know how to work loose this stuff by wiggling my hands around.”

“You never cease to amaze me.”

“I never cease to amaze me, either,” Ramulus said as he undid the final loop in Prowl’s bonds. “Now, I’ve already freed the other Maximals. They’re waiting behind a bunch of bushes a short distance away. Once we’re all together, we can take these Preds out once and for all!”

“They took our weapons, Ramulus. And we’re all heavily damaged.”

“Hmmm…. I see your point. But it’s not like we can get repaired anywhere on this island. The Preds have no doubt trashed our base. But hey, I ‘borrowed’ those signature-cloaking devices they had used earlier, so we should be able to-“

“What the…? HEY!!!”

“Gah, duck!”

Ramulus pushed Prowl out of the way just in time as Jetstorm opened fire on the spot they had been a split second ago.

“And I had the torture rack and the drill ready and everything! You guys are really starting to get on my NERVES!!!” Jetstorm growled. “PREDACONS, THEY’VE ESCAPE-“

Jetstorm went down before he could finish his sentence, thanks to Ramulus’ energon siphons on the backs of his hands.

“Let’s hope nobody heard him,” Prowl said, just in time for the two to hear approaching footsteps.

“You had to jinx it, didn’t you?” Ramulus responded. “Let’s go, go, go! Quickly!”

Ramulus practically pushed the semi-reluctant Prowl out of the cave, and they both dashed across the clearing, barely dodging a few of Spittor’s acid projectiles. Hurling themselves over a thick line of bushes, the two Maximals plopped themselves directly between the waiting forms of Bonecrusher and Ironhide.

“What took you guys so long?” Ironhide asked.

“The Predacons- they’re heading this way,” Prowl said breathlessly.

“All RIGHT! Time to bring on the PAIN!” Bonecrusher howled.

“Not this time, ‘Crusher, they’d be expecting us, and we’re outmatched. Maximals, retreat, pronto!”

After a growl from Bonecrusher, all four Maximals transformed into their beast modes and disappeared off into the forest, the hiss of acid projectiles sounding off just behind them for a nearly a minute before Spittor finally seemed to give up.

Day 7

“Prowl, we’ve got ta get our weapons back,” Ironhide said to the lionbot slumped next to him.

“I agree, it’s about time,” Ramulus said, yawning. “We’re getting low on Energon, and we aren’t going to be able to secure any real deposit of it unless we get our weapons back. Now’s as good a time as any.”

“Hrrm. You’re right,” Prowl admitted. “I had hoped we would’ve gotten rescued by now, but I guess the sheer amount of distance between us and the Ark means it’s going to be a while before they notice something’s wrong. Our only real communication between us and them was that satellite tower we were building when the Preds showed up, and we were only to supposed to check in once every two weeks or so. I’m going to have to tell Rhinox to be more careful in the future, even when establishing out-of-the-way outposts like this one. But yes, we’ve got to attack within the next few hours or we won’t even be able to stand up anymore. The Preds may be expecting us, but that’s a risk we’re going to have to take.”

“So… what do you want us to use as weapons?” Ironhide asked.

“I’ve always found the bare hands to work the best,” Bonecrusher said maliciously, punching his fist into his other open palm for emphasis.

“Not in the condition we’re in, Bonecrusher,” Prowl retorted. “No, we’re going to have to make use of our surroundings for this one. Now, here’s what I’m thinking…”

Iguanus was getting tired of standing guard, especially consider he had to listen to Corhada’s hissing.

“How much longer we got to stand guard over these stupid weapons anyways, mate? This is getting pretty boring. The Maximals be too chicken to try to get them in their state. I say we just destroy ‘em.”

“You heard the bosss’ ordersss, Iguanusss,” Corhada hissed. “We need to sssave any sssspoilsss of war for usssse later. Ssspittor, Insssecticon, and Jetsstorm will find the Maximalsss sssoon enough.”

“I suppose you’re right. They won’t be getting too far without any of their weapons, and they’re bound to run out of Energon soon. But what about-”

WHAP!!!

“Ayyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee………..”

Corhada turned around to see Iguanus sailing off into the distance, courtesy of a bent palm tree trunk smacking into the ‘bot into the air at full speed.

Bonecrusher grinned wearily as the bent palm tree he had let go at Iguanus finally straightened out into its former position. “Gotta love trees, brother! They’re Nature’s Slingshots!”

“I’m sssick of your trickssss, Maximal! This time, you die!”

Corhada lunged at Bonecrusher, who didn’t have time to dodge due to his low-powered state. The two fell down to the ground, punching the other without mercy- but it was clear that the ship-shape Corhada was quickly besting the buffalo-bot.

That was, until a large coconut was suddenly shoved over the snake’s head by Ramulus.

“Time to play kick the cobra, guys!” Ramulus chuckled as he kicked the snake-bot’s rump as hard as he could. Bonecrusher and Ironhide quickly joined in on the fun, mercilessly pounding the snake-bot fast enough to keep Corhada disoriented.

“It’s all yours, Prowl!” Ramulus said in between kicks.

Prowl jumped out of the foliage he had been hiding behind, transformed into his robot mode, and then quickly grabbed the pile of weapons the Predacons had been guarding earlier, storing them in his subspace.

“Mission complete, guys! Now, let’s get out of here before Spittor, Insecticon, and Jetstorm return! We won’t be able to stand a chance against those fliers!”

The other three Maximals quickly followed Prowl’s request, leaving a broken, blind, and cursing Corhada.

Day 28

And although things had looked up, Prowl remembered, that had been three weeks ago. The Maximals had made numerous attempts to rebuild a small base for the sole attempt of contacting their comrades back at the Ark, but all three had met with failure. The Preds had been given plenty of the signature-cloaking devices, just in case some were lost, stolen, or malfunctioned; as such, the Maximals were almost always taken by surprise when they had been attacked, no matter how much they had been on the lookout. There was simply too much cover on this densely forested island—the clearings were few and far in between, they were the only places large enough to build a communications array, and they were easily spotted from an aerial view. As such, Prowl admitted that it had been extremely easy for the Preds to formulate a successful plan of attack, as they had obviously just done again. And the Predacons were slowly gaining the advantage, as the Maximals had been forced to get only sporadic amounts of energon before their various mines had one-by-one been destroyed. The Predacons, however, had acquired the large stash of energon the Maximals had left back at their first base, so Jetstorm and company were covered for some time to come.

Prowl got hit by several machine gun slugs in the side- slaggit, Insecticon had been hiding in the trees to his right! That stinking Pred and Spittor were ganging up on him!

No sooner had Prowl figured out what had happened then he caught an acid slime ball in the side of his face. He screamed in agony as the acid ate away at a good portion of his face, and he fell to the ground.

Spittor and Insecticon quickly ran up to their downed quarry, pointing their guns at Prowl’s face.

“It’s over, Maximal,” Insecticon grinned.

The grin was quickly wiped off his face, however, as a huge energy beam suddenly cut through the air a few feet above Prowl, incinerating about half of Insecticon’s body and clipping off one of Spittor’s legs.

“You look like you guys could use a little help!” a large flying shark called out, quickly transforming into an equally large robot.

“Cybershmrk! Boy, amm I glad to see ooo!” Prowl said, his mouth numb from the burning acid covering it.

Cybershark merely nodded and continued to blast away at the quickly-retreating Spittor.

Prowl was even more surprised though, but the arrival of a Maximal he had not seen before- it was a very odd sight, seeing a white lion hovering over the battlefield, his golden mane spinning like a helicopter blade to keep him aloft.

“Who…?”

“I suppose you don’t recognize me,” the lion said, landing by Prowl’s side and transforming. “It’s me, Sigma Prime. Rhinox finally found a way to upgrade me with a beast mode while you guys were gone.”

“How did-“

“Look, we’ll discuss this later,” Sigma Prime said, blasts flipping out from under his hands. “I’ve got Preds to take care of.”

Given his limited vantage point-- lying face-up on the ground as he was, unable to move much because of the acid eating away and a good portion of his systems-- Prowl couldn’t actually see the rest of the battle. He only heard the screams and yells of the Predacons as they retreated. A few minutes later, Sigma Prime and Cybershark walked up to within Prowl’s area of view, Cybershark carrying the damaged form of Ironhide.

“I bet you’ve been waiting for us for a while,” Sigma Prime said, transforming back into his lion mode while Ramulus picked up Prowl and placed him on Sigma’s back.

“That’s an understatement,” Prowl said, finally able to breathe a sigh of relief after all this time. “After a looong repair cycle in the CR chamber, though, I’m going to tell Rhinox that the plan for this base had some SERIOUS flaws in it…”

Sigma chuckled. “I can only imagine. But you do realize Rhinox has dozens of troops to look after now—sometimes he can overlook things, since he has so many plans going on at the same time. And the Vehicons haven’t helped things, either.”

“I know, it was an honest mistake,” Prowl said as Sigma and the rest of the Maximals took off into the air, away from the island. “Primus knows I’ve made them.”

“What’re we gonna do with the Preds?” Ramulus said from over on his ramhorn hoverpad.

“Leave them,” Sigma Prime said, “I think they’ve had enough for now. And given the state we left them in, I don’t think we’ll be seeing those five for a looong time to come. Especially when you consider how Scourge seems to care so much about his troops.”

“You’re a softy, Sigma, you know that?”

“Speaking of softies, Ramulus, why didn’t you just fly back to the Ark to tell us the situation yourself? You knew we wouldn’t notice something was up for a while” Cybershark said, already knowing well what the answer would be.

Ramulus looked down at the ocean speeding by, obviously embarrassed. “Er… um… well, I was saving that as an absolute last resort. Given that it would leave the other three facing off against five Preds, y’know—we didn’t need the odds tipped any more against us then they already were.

“But that doesn’t mean I actually care about them,” Ramulus said defensively. “But… well, we do need the troops.”

“You aren’t convincing anyone, Ramulus,” Sigma Prime chuckled.

As Ramulus muttered “Pheh” and accelerated ahead of the Maximal pack, Prowl smiled weakly. Maybe things would turn out okay after all.