After the Loss

By: Lord Skyfire

When the Maximals lose something very close to them, the effects of the loss are different on each other them.

                The day was new and the air had a lightness that offered a cheery atmosphere for Rhinox as he made his way into the command center of the Axalon.  The room was still and only occupied by Optimus. The transmetal gorilla glanced back at Rhinox and waved to come. Suddenly, just by the look on Optimus’ face, Rhinox’s gut churned. A heavy shadow hung in the room now as it has many times before. Things just were not the same ever since it happened. No one took it well and everyone was still in different stages of the grieving processes. Rhinox eased over behind Optimus, who was sitting at a console.

“Good morning Optimus.”

Optimus sighed.

“I’ve been putting this off ever since it happened.”

Rhinox sighed and put his hand on his commander’s shoulder, hoping to give a little comfort.

“I understand.”

“I’m assuming Rattrap won’t assist you.”

Optimus looked up at Rhinox and shook his head slowly.

 “He won’t even talk about it. I asked him if he wanted to do it, considering their relationship, but he won’t give me a straight answer.”

“He’s been in his quarters ever since it happened.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Rhinox sat down besides Optimus in the consecutive consol station to his right.

“It will take time for us all to heal.”

Optimus nodded and went back to his monitor. The screen displayed a picture ID of Dinobot with words wrapped around it. Optimus typed on the keyboard slowly, adding more wrapping words to the display.

“I’m hoping that I can begin to move on after I get this behind me.”

Rhinox nodded.

He looked at the screen and smirked.

“He never was very photogenic was he Optimus?”

Optimus chuckled sadly. It was good to remember him. Yet, it was also painful. What starts out as a great feeling of remembrance quickly transforms into the poignant pain of loss.

Optimus sighed and looked blankly at the keyboard before him. His hands lay still on the keys, not knowing what to do. The weakened commander sighed.

“I still can’t believe he’s really gone.”

Optimus looked up at Rhinox with a look of disbelief.

“I thought that he’d survive this war, if anyone did. His life was war. It doesn’t make sense that those that were trained for exploration out survived a trained and skilled warrior.”

Rhinox reached out his arm and patted Optimus on the shoulder again, “He made the ultimate sacrifice for all of us. It was his warrior skill that made him uniquely qualified to do that. I mean, no one else could have taken on all those preds like he did.”

Optimus nodded, “I know Rhinox.”

“I’m sorry.”

Rhinox raised an eyebrow, “For what?”

Optimus sighed, “For bothering you with all this.”

Rhinox smiled, “Optimus, it’s not a bother at all. We’ve been stranded here for a while and I’ve come to think of you as a good friend.”

Optimus smiled and turned to his rhino companion.

“The same goes for me.”

He sighed again and leaned back in his chair.

“I just had to vent a little I guess. I’ve been trying to stay strong for the others, especially Cheetor.”

Rhinox nodded, “That kid sure does look up to you doesn’t he.”

Optimus nodded, “Yeah. I’m the commander of this crew and I have to remain in control of everything, including my emotion circuitry.”

“They have to trust me and have confidence in me. I need to put on a brave and secure front for them all.”

Rhinox looked to the screen in front of him.

“Well, that’s the burden of command I suppose.”

Moments slipped by and Optimus returned to the work before him. He added a few more lines of data onto the display and then looked to his friend again.

“So Rhinox,” the rhino directed his attention towards Optimus, “how are you taking all of this?”

Rhinox took in a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, looking intently in front of him.

“I think I’ve accepted it. I don’t think I’ll ever shake this guilt though.”

Optimus blinked.

“Guilt? What do you mean?”

Rhinox faced his commander and spoke.

“Well, I just can’t shake the feeling that I could have done something more. I could have tried to put him in stasis lock, even though his internal circuitry was pretty scrambled. I could have still tried. There was still a chance stasis lock could have provided us enough time to get him to a C.R. chamber.”

His voice began to waver and he began to look blankly at the floor.

“He could be here right now if I didn’t just jump to the conclusion that there was no way.”

Optimus shook his head.

“You can’t second guess yourself old friend. You did everything you could have done.”

Just then, the sound of foot steps echoed from the corridors. Both Optimus and Rhinox, weary with grief, looked in the direction of the sound. After a preceding shadow passed, Rattrap emerged from the corridor with a grim look on his face.

The room fell silent. Rhinox and Optimus stared at Rattrap, both in a daze. Rattrap looked at the both of them and smirked, “What are you guys a bunch o’ slaggin’ drones? Why the blank stares?”

Optimus, pulling himself out of his daze, coughed and cleared his throat.

“Ye…Yes, sorry Rattrap.”

He looked to Rhinox, who had also come out of it.

“We were just…”

Optimus stopped and sighed.

Rattrap rolled his eyes and threw up his hands.

“Will ya spit it out?”

Rhinox struck in, “We were just making Dinobot’s death certificate.”

“Care to add anything to it?”

Rattrap’s face quickly changed from its usual smirkiness, to that of a stoic nature.

“Eh, nah I cen’t.  I…I got stuff ta do.”

The rat, with a hunched stature, went back the way he came.

Both Rhinox and Optimus were again left in silence. Optimus stood up and walked to the window to his left. His arms were held behind him as he peered at the flowing river below.

“If you only knew how important you were to us.”

Rhinox got up and joined his leader by the window.

“Did you say something Optimus?”

Optimus lowered his head.

“No.”

Rhinox nodded.

“I see.”

He looked out the window as well, observing the shimmering water that raced towards the waterfall that rested just a little ways away. It just kept going.

Rhinox smirked.

Optimus faced him.

“What?”

“If Dinobot were here right now, what would he say?”

Optimus thought for a moment and smirked.

“He’d tell us that our foolish Maximal emotional circuitry was over riding our logic circuits. That he was just another casualty of war. That we should move on.”

Rhinox nodded.

“Look, whether he’s here or not, we’re still here and we can keep his memory alive and make sure he gets the honor he has earned.”

Optimus nodded and patted his old friend on the back, “You’re right.”

“I’m going to go check on Rattrap. We all need to deal with this so we can move on and end this war. The one thing Dinobot wanted the most was to end Megatron’s evil.”

“We’ll fight in remembrance.”

Rhinox smiled and silently nodded.

Optimus slowly left the room, leaving only one now.

                The room was dark and the air was cluttered with dust. Rattrap had been locked up in his quarters like a rat in a cage. Yet, the room wasn’t the real cage. It was his emotions. He couldn’t deal with the loss. He felt like he didn’t appreciate him as a friend enough. He was trapped in the grief and kept wishing he could go back in time and replay that final day differently. The last time before it happened, he was awfully accusing and mean. He accused him of being a traitor among other insults. He could tell something was wrong, but it didn’t matter. His mind went around in circles. Asking why he attacked him. Asking why he couldn’t just have kept his mouth shut. He was trapped.

The room was empty, but for the dusty haze. A silent hum hung over the room. For once, Rattrap wasn’t present. The doors slid open and Optimus peered in.

“Rattrap, you in here?”

No response. Optimus entered the room and looked around.

“Computer, lights please.”

The room was suddenly filled with light and eeriness had quickly dissipated. Optimus sighed. He turned around and exited the room. Lifting his arm, he tapped his comm.-link.

“Rhinox, Rattrap's not in his quarters. Think you can locate him on internal sensors?”

“Yeah. Give me a cycle.”

 Optimus leaned against the wall and closed his eyes and waited.

“Ok Optimus, he’s on deck three, section 16.”

Optimus stood up straight.

“Isn’t that?”

Over the comm.-link, Rhinox sighed, “Yep.”

Optimus nodded, “Alright. I’ll go talk to him. Primal out.”

He didn’t know why he needed Rattrap to feel better. He guessed it was that they had all become a family now. After all this time stranded together with only each other for support, they really did depend on each other for everything. If one of them was hurt or saddened, it affected the entire crew. They all shared a bond. They were family. He knew that until Rattrap could deal with this, no one else could fully move on because Rattrap’s down mood would be a constant reminder.

He finally reached the door to the room in which Rattrap had been detected. Optimus came to the door and took in a deep breath and hit the access panel. The doors slid open and revealed Rattrap kneeling on the ground over something. Optimus walked in silently. Rattrap remained where he was.

“I told you I got stuff ta do boss monkey. I don’t wanna fill out a death certificate.”

Optimus came up behind his grieving comrade.

“Why are you in Dinobot’s quarters Rattrap?”

Rattrap glanced up.

“Just finishing up a little somethin’.”

The rat got up to his feet and walked to the door.

“I’m gonna get some fresh air.”

Optimus sighed. On the floor a gray box rested on a little table. Optimus knelt down and reached for the lid of the box. Inside, a book rested. The cover was blank. Optimus took it out and flipped to the first page. The page read, The Rest Is Silence: The tale of a warrior and the life he lived and the sacrifices made.

Optimus smiled. This was the best thing to be done. This was just what Dinobot would have wanted. His story is now written down for everyone to see and judge. Now those that didn’t witness the sacrifice he made for everyone would get the chance to know. This made him immortal.

Optimus placed the book back into the box. He put the lid back on and stood up. He knew now what Rattrap was hiding in his room for. He was dealing with this in his own way. Rhinox dealt with it by analyzing anything that could have been changed to prevent it. Rattrap hid in his quarters and carried out Dinobot’s last wishes. And Optimus tried to bury it until now. Until he began that death certificate, he was dismissing it, trying to ignore it. Now the healing could begin.