Little Note: Our last year at school in South Africa is known as the matric year.
Nostalgia
Another long, tiring day at college and finally my day has come to an end. There’s nothing to look forward to anyway when I do go home. Nothing but a pile of dishes in the sink awaits me. Sitting in my room as I think of the old days, my heart aches. Oh, the days when my life was perfect and the time when my life was filled with nothing but happiness. Where and how did things go so wrong?
I recall happy memories when I would be in school. The time when I had mum and my sister, Kim, with me and the time when nothing in the world mattered besides Kim and my friends ‘Pink Girlz’. That is what we called ourselves. Pam, Isabelle, Nicky and Kim. We said we would be best friends forever. But I didn’t know it would turn out like this….
Matric. It was out last year in school, but we didn’t want to finish school. Life was so grand then. One minute changed my life forever. Everything shattered in the blink of my eye. As Kim and I walked home from school one day, a mad driver didn’t see Kim crossing the road and the next thing I saw was my beautiful sister’s body lying on the floor. “Kim, wake up!” I had shouted, but she didn’t wake up. She never did.
That’s when my world came tumbling down.
After my sister’s death, mum moved away from my Dad and I. To this day I still don’t know why. Dad had said to me once that mum moved away because she couldn’t handle the pressure of losing Kim. Yet, that didn’t make it right because dad didn’t leave. One thing after the other, everything went wrong. Because mum had left, dad couldn’t afford to pay for our house anymore. So in the same year dad and I moved to another city. Everything had happened so fast. It felt like it was a nightmare.
I completed my matric at a new school. I hated my life then and still do. I missed mum, Kim and my friends. Luckily for me I passed matric with an exemption, that was the only thing that was positive in my life. I really felt sorry for dad too. He didn’t take the change very well. I mean, who would? Dad could not afford to send me to study at a college. I wasn’t really disappointed because I remember Kim and my friends said we would study together at the same college. All our dreams that never came true. Jack, dad’s friend, said he could pay for my studies but the excitement of going to college wasn’t there anymore.
Well, that was how good my life was and how bad it got. So now here I am, in my room, missing my old life so much. I wasn’t scared of change but I did not expect a change like that. My life carries on and everyday I still hold onto my past. And everyday, without a doubt, I wish things could go back to the way they were.
I realize that I have to move on, but I can’t help it because every time I think of my past I begin to weep. I weep tears of joy when I remember the happy times and tears of sadness because I cannot have my past back.
By: Nadele Naidoo
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